Unexpected
by CJMJM
Summary: Drama, if you don't like drama don't read this. Sex, drama, lies, betrayal. Just a few words to sum up this story and that's in just the beginning. Okay, I'm pretty blunt, lol.
1. Perfectly Unforgettable

**Hey people that are actually reading this! This is my first f.f. ever (hope I didn't scare anyone away!) Anyway, read, review, and be honest. **

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Cheers!**

**Belle!**

**I own nothing except this little story here! Yep!**

_Chapter one:_ _Perfectly Unforgettable_

Jude laid in the bed staring up at the ceiling thinking about everything. She was happy, she was actually happy; she knew there was no other place she rather be then right where she was. She thought about her life and everything that happened since Tommy told her he didn't love her even after she begged him to stay. She thought she could never recover from her heartache but here she was a new person, thanks to the one person she could always count on. She had the best birthday of her life last night with not one thought of Tommy to ruin it.

She yawned and rolled over looking at the clock on the nightstand it read 7am. She thought she was seeing things so she rubbed her eyes to get a better look. She couldn't believe it; her mom was going to kill her. She sat up in the bed slowly taking in the surroundings around her. She realized she never really got a good look at the place when she first came in considering the fact she was drowned by kisses. She looked around at the small but cozy room. He was so much more like her then she knew. He had all types of band posters up on his light green walls. She silently laughed as she looked at the floor and around his instruments where clothes lay thrown all over the room. He was a slob, but it made her love him more for it. She was surprised when she saw he had a drum set she didn't know he could play the drums; then again she didn't know he could sing until tonight either. She slowly got up when she looked at his computer desk and discovered her bra. _Well there goes one piece of clothing_, she thought as she lazily went to go on a hunt for her things. She quietly tip-toed around the room hoping not to wake him stepping over all types of clothes and toys.

She found her clothes and walked over to the bathroom to take a shower, she knew he wouldn't mind. So, took a quick shower and laughed to herself when she used his toothbrush. She put on her dress from last night and looked at herself in the mirror it really was a great dress, she loved EJ for picking it out. It showed just a hint of her goodies in all the right places. It was a fairly simple black dress. At the top it had ruffles that came out just as the halter ended, and at the bottom where the dressed stopped, a little below her knees, it had a little more ruffles going around the dress. It had little swirls and designs that were embroidered around the whole dress but blended in because they were also black, making the dress all the more appealing. It had bits and sparkles in the right places and it hugged her curves the right way. On her feet she had red heels that she protested with EJ about for an hour. She had to practice walking in them so that she wouldn't kill herself, but in the end they really added to the look making her look even more irresistible and grown up. She ran her fingers threw her red untamed hair in the bathroom mirror. It had been just perfect last night, put together in an unforgettable up do. She still had some curls that refused to go away.

She walked out of the bathroom and looked around making sure she hadn't forgotten anything. She grabbed her black Louis Vuitton clutch purse and headed towards the bedroom door. Just as she was about to walk out she turned back around one last time and walked over to the bed, she kissed her prince on the cheek and walked out. The sun hit her in the eyes as she quietly made it out of the house and walked to her car, she smiled remembering her perfectly unforgettable night. She knew once she got home, no matter how old she was; she would have to deal with a "_perfectly"_ unforgettable lecture.

**Everything will be explained in upcoming chapters don't worry, for now review and review! Also, sorry this chapter is disgustingly short and doesn't explain everything but I'll try and make the second one longer, I'm actually working on it now. Kind of got writers block though :-(... until the sun shines bright again! Review and review.**


	2. Lingering Presence

**Well, this site hates me. It took me forever to even get this damn story up! I don't even know why I wrote chapter 2 when I thought my story would never go threw. Guess it was my lack of Instant Star for like….3 years okay so maybe just weeks but whatever. Besides my sister seemed interested in my story! Heck, I'm interested in my story… I have no idea where it's going. Oh yeah and the Instant Star CD playing really made me feel like writing. Story formally known as Foolish Games, changed the name for something that went with it more so, whatever.**

**I own nothing except this story and my body!**

**Enjoy!**

**Here it is:**

Chapter two: Lingering presence

Jude climbed out of her black mustang and reluctantly walked up the front steps of her house she really didn't want to go home, she didn't want to go to the studio either…she just wanted to go back to _him._ Oh God, did he rock her world… she knew it was cheesy to put it like that… but hey he was her first. Plus, he really did help her forget Tommy… for now at least. She shook her head, "_I really need to stop thinking about Tommy," _she thought She couldn't help it even though she had a great time last night she couldn't help but think of the ridiculous fantasy she had cooked up for her 18th birthday. Lets just say it included Tommy coming and confessing his love to Jude... but Tommy was no where to be found, was he? She didn't want him here anyway. Or, that's what she kept telling herself.

Jude pulled the keys out of her purse and unlocked the front door. She tip-toed in hoping not to wake her mom or Sadie, she took her heels off so it would be easier. Once she knew she was safe she quietly leapt up the stairs colliding right into someone.

"God, Jude your just getting home? Do you know what time it is! A rather sleepily Sadie questioned standing in the hallway in a somewhat rather revealing uh… night gown thing.

Jude rubbed her forehead, "yes I know what time it is, now be quiet before you wake mom!" Jude responded in an irritated tone.

Sadie patted Jude on the head proudly, "you don't have to worry about that, little sneaky sister of mine….mom spent the night at Ricardo's again last night," her face turned serious, "she didn't even come home, just called like it was nothing."

Jude let out a sigh; this was becoming a new habit of their mothers, spending the night out with some guy. She just figured her mom needed time due to the fact her dad and Yvette were engaged not even a year after his divorce with her mother. She looked simpatically at Sadie she was the only person who knew how she felt.

"Well, that figures. I'm going to go change and then I'm going to the studio." She walked towards her bedroom door, she was relieved she would be receiving no lecture but upset at the same time. _Who was her mother even becoming? _She thought wearily. Jude's cell phone rang interrupting her thoughts. She looked at her caller ID and smiled it was her prince calling. She opened her flip phone.

"Hey," she uttered some what dreamily.

"Harrison I'm gonna kick your butt! You used my toothbrush! Yeah, mmmhhhmm thought I wouldn't notice!" He asked in an exasperated tone trying to sound mad.

She laughed, "don't get your whitie tighties in a bunch Speed, I was just blessing it with all my goodness and saliva!" she bit her tongue trying not to break out laughing.

"Oh I'm gonna kill you for that! I do not wear whitie tighties," he began to whisper, "and if I did they're better then your granny underwear! What happened to Victoria's Secret!" he asked laughing.

"Low, Vincent dear, really low; besides you and me both know… I did not have on granny underwear." She smirked remembering last night she felt so bad talking to him about underwear.

"Your right Harrison you win granny underwear it was not. Now can you please go back to calling me Speed before I have to go over there and spank you for forbidden first name usage!"

Jude couldn't help but smile whenever she talked to him, he made her feel so warm and giddy inside. That was a feeling that was rare with Tommy when he was here, considering the fact he would never admit his feelings. She shook her head, her smile fading. "_Damn, why do I keep thinking about him!"_ She almost said that aloud and then came back to reality when she heard Speed calling out her name.

"Jude! JUDE! Hello! Do I have to go save you from space aliens that take your hearing!

Jude laughed a little nervously, why she did not know… probably from guilt since she was thinking about another guy while she was on the phone with her boyfriend. "Yeah Speed I'm right here no rescuing is needed. But, I got to go. I'll talk to you later okay?

"Yeah sure Harrison," he sounded a little disappointed making her feel all the more guilty. She hung up the phone and walked to the bathroom to change into the simple outfit she picked out; a black band t-shirt with a denim skirt, little black pant things she likes to wear under it, and her trustie boots. She looked at herself in the mirror while she fixed her hair and felt guilty all over again. Tommy was slowing starting to really creep back into her mind and she didn't know why.

"JUDE, BREAKFAST! YES I COOKED, NOW GET DOWN HERE!" Sadie yelled a little too loudly and giddy for her liking.

She took one last look at herself in the mirror and then made her way downstairs to discover the horror that was Sadie's…. cooking.

_**(Hours later at night)**_

Tommy sat in his overpriced hotel room drinking away his bottle of expensive vodka. His intentions never were to come _back _and get drunk, but Jude always had that effect on him. He sat back on the couch and pulled out his cell phone clumsily. As he dialed the number to Jude's cell he changed his mind and threw the phone on the spot next to him. "_Now just wasn't the time_," he thought to himself angrily. He still had flashes of last night and what went down between Jude and Speed at her party. It made him sick just thinking about it, he took another swig at his vodka and remembered it exactly:

_(Flashback)_

After Jude had made her grand entrance (alone unfortunately) she made her way down and around the party greeting and being greeted by everyone but failed to notice someone in particular…Tommy. He stood in a far off corner by himself and wasn't noticed so far, which he was relieved about. See, in his mind tonight was the big night he came back to make his move, so make it he would. He just wanted Jude to enjoy her party a bit before he showed his face after so long. Jude looked gorgeous he never saw her looking so good, when she first came out he felt his chest clog up in his throat and he couldn't breathe. Now as she stood before him, his perfect chance to finally approach her came he felt apprehensive. This feeling was a new one for Tommy.

He did however manage to suck it up and began walking his move towards her slowly. He approached her from behind as Jude stood looking at the stage sipping on some pink drink. He reached out his hand to touch her, but suddenly all the lights dimmed darker except for one bright light on the stage. Tommy's hand dropped to his side and he moved back as he saw Speed and the guys set up on stage smiling at Jude. Jude looked confused as she watched them.

Speed looked out into the small crowd (it was late a lot of people already left)he smiled being center stage for once and lifted his hands towards where Jude was standing causing another light to go on her.

"Jude Harrison everyone the guest of honor tonight!" He smiled nervously. For some reason Jude couldn't help but laugh, he just seemed so nervous. Everyone looked at the smiling and laughing Jude as they clapped, including Tommy. He had his eyes on her and wouldn't take them off of her. It was like it was happening once again. He had a feeling he had another Shay on his hands; he desperately hoped Speed wasn't going to serenade Jude.

Speed nervously got closer to the mike, "testing, one, two, testing." He beat two fingers on the mike after every word, some people laughed including Jude. Tommy stood in back of her in the corner thinking he would be sick, but god did she look beautiful laughing and smiling.

Speed smiled and coughed a little, then his face scrunched up a when he heard Kwest yelling at him to get on with it already. Jude laughed once again. Speed turned around and nodded at Kyle and Wally to get ready, Jude _and Tommy_ couldn't help but notice they had these mysterious grins on their faces.

Speed walked to the mike once again and looked a bit more confidently at Jude. "This one's for you Harrison, it's called "It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine. I Am Thinking It Must Be Love." Everyone laughed as they heard the ridiculous title of the song. Jude moved curiously to the stage. "_Was Speed about to serenade her? Was this song about her? I mean it must be, he said it was for me"… _she thought intently. A confused, curious Jude tilted her head to the side as the guys started to play music. She held her breath as Speed stepped to the mike and began to sing.

_why can you read me like no one else? _He began the first lyrics with a serious look on his face making Jude all the more curious in the song; she stepped closer to the stage as everyone watched her and the band.

_I hide behind these words _

_but I'm coming out_

He made eye contact with her as he said those last two lines and he could see she was really starting to understand what he was trying to say.

_I wish I kept them behind my tongue_

_I hide behind these words_

_but I'm coming out_

He began the chorus and the music began to pick up, he never once took his eyes off her but he couldn't tell what she was thinking. A confused Jude bit her lip. She had no idea how to feel about this, "_was she falling for Speed"?_ She pondered that question but stopped to listen to the chorus of the song.

_put your hand between _

_an aching head and an aching world_

_we'll make them so jealous_

_we'll make them hate us_

_an aching head and an aching world_

_we'll make them so jealous_

_we'll make them so jealous_

She watched him as she really began to understand what he was saying in the song…"_he Speidermen, who Kat and I used to make fun of when we were younger, wants to be with me. He actually wants to be with me." _She bit her lip as she thought about that and listened to the rest of the song.

_all the ways you make my stomach turn _(He continued to look at Jude and rubbed his stomach as he said the last line knowing he would cause her to smile.)

_and all the long drives_

_with my friends blur_

_and I wish I kept them inside my mind_

_I hide behind these words_

_and think of all the places_

_where you've been lost_

_and then found...out_

_in between my sheets _(he paused a little dramatically at this last line as though suggesting they hit the sheets right then and there. Jude crossed her arms and just stared at him a little blankly (lost in her thoughts) causing him to quickly continue with the song. Tommy noticed this and it made him smirk for the first time that night.)

_in between the rights and the wrongs_

_put your hand between_

_an aching head and an aching world_

_we'll make them so jealous_

_we'll make them hate us_

_aching head and an aching world_

_think of all the places_

He had a little guitar solo here, "_which is so like him trying to show off his moves no matter what," _Jude thought for a brief moment.

_where you've been lost and found...out _

Reality hit Jude like a ton of bricks when she realized he had finished the song and was standing right in front of her. She uncrossed her arms and started at him intently.

"Speed….I...um…" she looked around the room and looked at all the staring people. She grabbed Speeds hand and led him outside deciding she didn't want to be in there. She shivered when she stepped out back and realized it was lightly raining. She shivered rubbing her hands up and down her arms. Speed quickly came up behind her and put his jacket around her shoulders; she turned around really looking at him for the first time tonight.

Speed looked at her seriously but with a hint of lust in his eyes. "Jude everything I said in the song was true….especially the sheets part. He looked up at her smiling.

Jude couldn't help but smile back. The moment they sort of just had staring at each other confirmed Jude's feelings she really...really had feelings for Speed. She knew that last months being together all the time would later lead into something….she was happy it was sooner then later.

Speed looked at her with lust in his eyes again. "Harrison I love you…and I'm about to kiss you, and I'm just warning you so you won't spazz ou…..

Before he could finish his sentence Jude had grabbed onto Speed's shirt pulling him towards her with intensity. She kissed him sweetly at first but then Speed caught on and wrapped one hand around Jude's waist and the other gripped onto her hip. He kissed her with passion, yearning almost as if this was what he wanted his whole life. They continued kissing like this for a total of five minutes until Jude had to pull away to breathe again and not die. She stared at him incredulously.

She looked back at the party and realized it was almost over anyway, Speed had waited for half of everyone to leave to _make his move. _This helped Jude make another decision. She looked at the out of breath Speed and leaned over into him, she grabbed his shirt and pulled him to walk with her while she walked backwards.

"Let's get out of here"…..she paused…."I want to go to your place." Speed's eyebrows rose at the last part he knew what she was suggesting but he didn't protest. They almost jogged to her car holding on to each other the whole time.

An outraged Tommy came out from was where he was standing so that he could be seen now. He had followed Jude and Speed outside to see what would happen, and his fears were confirmed. His hands tightened into fist as he thought of what Jude and Speed would be doing tonight. He walked to his new car he had bought and drove to his hotel room. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

"Hello…Sadie its Tommy….yes I'm back….no I'm not here because of Jude at all….

_(Flashback ended)_

Tommy continued sipping on his vodka as he thought about the damage he may have caused with that phone call. He got up clumsily and made his way to the door as he grabbed his keys and phone. He was going to call Kwest to give him a ride to the studio.

He wanted his old job back.

**Okay so that's it! My writer's block is slowly going away. Oh by the way, no that brilliant song didn't come from my mind you can thank the guys of Fall out Boy for that one. I take no credit. I'll try and get the third chapter out, but there really is no point if I get no reviews. Yes, I'm aware I could actually be talking to no one right now. Which is probably logical….until the sun shines brighter!**


	3. And She's Fat Free

**Okay this chapter would have BEEN out if it weren't Loren he, he! Okay so it wasn't her fault it's her damn writing! I had to take a break to read the new chapter of Consequences! I love that story! Girl's got real talent she does! You should check out her story. Though I bet you already did. She has like 200…and something reviews! You go girl! She's not even gonna read this! But I had to say something seriously. It's like my favorite fan-fic ever well that and anything Bri writes, who also won't even read this. Lol, I'm such a crazy rambler! Well, I'm probably just stalling so I won't have to start the chapter; I seriously have no idea what to do! If it turns out corny sorry! Don't feel bad to say you don't like it if you don't. Just know I'm probably gonna put my all into it!**

**Don't own any Instant Star or songs in this. All I own is my body, J&J, and liquor! I'm so kidding about the liquor part! **

**-Belle**

**Get on with it already!**

Chapter three: **_And She's Fat Free…_**

Jude stumbled into the studio half-past 12 noon. She had another late night with Speed last night so she knew she was completely late, in trouble, and in the same clothes as yesterday. But, Jude was on cloud nine she could really care less. She walked in confidently holding on to her guitar and Speed's hand walking rather fast. She was a mad woman and wouldn't be stopped; she wanted nothing more then to record.

Georgia put down her drink and swallowed the food in her mouth when she saw Jude coming in full _speed_ heading towards studio A; she rushed behind Jude.

"Jude, honey so great to see you…uh Jude…Jude! Don't go in there! You don't want to go in there!" She desperately tried to stop Jude knowing if she went into studio A it would be disaster with a capital D!

"I'm going to record G!" A rather cheerful excited Jude muttered. After hearing Speed sing she knew she just had to do a song with him singing some of the vocals, not just as back up. Speed sent Georgia a "_help me!"_ look as Jude dragged him along.

Jude smiled getting closer to her destination but stopped dropping Speeds hand and her jaw as the door opened, revealing who was behind it just moments before.

Tommy's heart stopped as he stared into Jude's eyes for the first time after so long. He abruptly dropped his own hand which had just before been draped on Sadie's waist. Sadie shifted uncomfortably looking at Jude.

Jude's eyes looked down in everyone's moment of silence and noticed the car keys in his hand, he was obviously about to go have lunch with Sadie, and for some reason she felt enraged feeling she had to speak out. "Tommy! What are you doing here!" She knew that wasn't the best thing to say but she sort of spit it out in lack of anything else.

Tommy stood there awkwardly for a moment realizing his day was going really badly…and only getting worse by the minute. "Uh…I work here." That was the only thing he could to think to say at the moment, which in a way was true. G was hesitant at first about giving him his job back. Jude was working quite happily with Kwest but of course there was something missing. What did you expect? She had been trying to finish this one song since Tommy left but she just had no inspiration.

Jude's eyes opened wide has she radiated rays of betrayal, hurt, and most of all anger towards Tommy. As she opened her mouth to say something she was interrupted by the rather confident Sadie…

"He came back because of me," she smiled looking at Tommy. That was after all what he had said on the phone to her. He sounded so sincere and sorry that he even left at all, having Sadie fall at his feet once again. It was just like before; only this time she was being extremely naïve.

Jude's eyes turned into slits. "Oh is that so? Little Tommy Q…who has been gone for over a year and a half came back so that he could get a booty call! What kind of bull shit is that!" Jude Harrison had snapped, what Sadie had said had really gotten to her and it was bothering her that she was bothered.

Tommy and Sadie looked shocked they didn't know what to say Jude had never been angry enough to curse. In fact, Sadie never even heard her curse. Not even that one time Sadie had put purple hair dye in Jude's shampoo.

Speed put his hand on Jude's shoulder making his presence noticed for the first time. Jude jumped a little turning around she had forgot he was standing behind her and felt guilt wash over her. He looked as though he almost understood what was going on inside her head. She had to fix this…fast.

She turned back around and looked at Sadie and Tommy smiling the best she could come up with, it was still the fakest smile in the world.

She looked at them with hatred. How dear Tommy come back a couple days after her birthday without even telling her, get his job back at G-major so she would have to face him, and above all go running back to Sadie all in one week. She hated him…she couldn't think of any other emotion to feel.

"Well, don't mind me lovebirds go have lunch! I'm just going to write a song in studio C and think about what a great time Speed and I had last night!" She smiled cheerily looking directly at Tommy. "We'll catch up later promise!" Her statement oozed sarcasm, she rather do anything then catch up with Tommy.

She pushed in between them rather hard putting distance separating them. She quietly rushed over to studio C and slammed the door almost breaking it as everyone including the interns that had witnessed the outburst looked around each other shocked.

Speed looked at Tommy angrily. "Welcome back," he too had sarcasm noted in his voice as he walked over to the studio C door and knocked quietly as he heard everyone finally going back to work.

"Jude, can I come in please!" He did his little boy voice hoping to cheer her up and also gain entry into her threshold.

Jude spoke threw the door sounding sad for the first time in a while. "Speed, I'm writing right now I can't be distracted. I'll talk to you later, I promise." She heard Speed whisper something and walk away from the door. She sighed relieved.

She looked down at her notebook promising herself she wouldn't cry she began writing down feverishly her emotions pouring out of her.

An hour later Jude finally came out of studio C and was bombarded by questions from EJ and Georgia she answered them all tiredly and asked to have the rest of the day off.

Georgia looked at Jude simpatically, "of course honey, I'm sorry I just didn't call and tell you he was back or something. I should have known it wouldn't have gone well. You just go home and rest and finish that song you were writing."

Jude started at her. "This has nothing to do with Tommy! I don't care he's back he can go elope with Sadie and see if I care!" She stomped out of G-major and high-tailed home.

She walked in the door and stopped at the living room entrance when she saw Sadie on the phone talking what it seemed like to their mother. Jude was about to walk away when she noticed something on Sadie's ring finger. Her insides screamed with anger. She was wearing the ring again...the stupid cheap looking ring Tommy had given Sadie before he left. It was like some sort of stupid promise ring or something; she wasn't exactly sure why he had given it to her.

Jude leapt up the steps and ran into her room gushing out her emotions finally being able to finish the song. She stared down at it proudly. She knew immedialy that she wanted to do it on "Under the Mike" tomorrow. They had asked her to do the show a week ago and she was more then thrilled.

She picked up her phone and called Speed, Wally, and Kyle telling them to meet her at their new studio space. They did after all have to practice even though she knew she was supposed to do it at the studio but she wanted it to be a surprise like "Skin" was.

_(Next day)_

Jude rushed around backstage trying to get ready. She was going on in 5 minutes and everything buzzed around her like a war zone. EJ quickly applied some lip gloss on Jude's lips as if she couldn't do it herself and "tsked" unapprovingly at the outfit she had on. She was quite disappointed because she didn't understand Jude with her black tank top, ripped jeans, and black and white converses. She sighed knowing there was no changing her now, no matter how old she got.

Jude rubbed her fingers threw her hair self -consciously knowing her family (including her mom who yelled at her for about an hour about the other night) were in the audience watching her. But, she was even more nervous Tommy was here watching her. She looked over at where he was standing and noticed he was staring at her she quickly looked ahead as she was pushed out on her cue.

Jude was greeted warmly by applause. She walked over to new the host Lola and smiled as if she had no care in the world as she introduced Jude. After Lola was done, they both took seats on the stools placed near them. _Here comes the questioning_, the part Jude dreaded. She knew it would all be questions about her and relationships.

"So Jude lets hear it how's your love-life? You seem to be pretty cozy with your lead guitarist of your back-up band Speidermen Mind Explosion." The host smiled coyly, getting on Jude's last nerve.

"I don't know what you mean, but if there was I'd like to keep my private life private." Jude came off rather coldly then she meant but lets just say the host narrowed down her questions to everything but private after that. She asked a few more questions until they stopped going into commercial.

Jude quickly walked off backstage and was approached by a frantic EJ and a nervous Wally and Kyle. They explained that they would be going on in three minutes and Speed was no where to be found. Jude was extremely nervous but pissed off all the same not knowing what to do. She couldn't go look for him now.

One of the guys with headphones came over and put up two fingers indicating they had two minutes until they would be on. Wally, Kyle, EJ, and now Jude all tried calling Speed at different places but couldn't reach him. After her last try a pissed Jude threw her phone at the wall, grabbing her guitar she brushed past the staring faces and walked on stage greeted by applause. Wally and Kyle rushed behind her taking their places.

The host stood next to Jude as she introduced her once again. "Jude Harrison singing her new song," she paused looking at Jude and then the cards making sure she read right. She couldn't say that song title on T.V. so she didn't and simply moved to the side indicating for Jude to begin.

They had a stool ready for Jude but she didn't need it. She pushed it back and out of her way a little forcefully. She walked to the mike and held her guitar strap. She originally wasn't supposed to be playing her guitar in this song but since Speed hadn't shown she would be taking over his part.

She began singing with raw emotion. She didn't even sound like herself. It was like a different person deep and sultry:

_She's got the kind of look that defies gravity  
_

_She's the greatest cook  
_

_**And she's fat free**_

She's been to private school  


_And she speaks perfect French  
_

_She's got the perfect friends  
_

_Oh isn't she cool  
_

(Sadie watched Jude as she sang she kept having this feeling as though this song was about her. Truth was some of it was, but honestly it wasn't really about just one girl. It was about _girls_, the kind that Tommy always seemed to go for.)

_She practices Tai Chi  
_

_She'd never lose her nerve  
_

_She's more than you deserve  
_

_She's just far better than me_

Hey hey

So don't bother  


_I won't die of deception  
_

_I promise you won't ever see me cry  
_

_Don't feel sorry_

And don't bother  


_I'll be fine  
_

_But she's waiting  
_

_The ring you gave to her will lose its shine  
_

_So don't bother, be unkind_

I'm sure she doesn't know  


_**How to touch you like I would** _

_**I beat her at that one good  
**_

_**Don't you think so?**_

_  
_(She sang these three lines in a seductive tone only glancing at Tommy once. She meant what she said and by the look on his face… it was true.)_  
_

_  
She's almost 6 feet tall  
_

_She must think I'm a flea  
_

_I'm really a cat you see  
_

Jude continued singing just has she had before strumming her electric with her pic with intensity just letting out all her feelings she had felt about Tommy _and Sadie._

_And it's not my last life at all_

Hey hey

So don't bother  


_I won't die of deception  
_

_I promise you won't ever see me cry  
_

_Don't feel sorry_

Don't bother  


_I'll be fine  
_

_But she's waiting  
_

_The ring you gave to her will lose its shine  
_

_So don't bother, be unkind_

Jude stopped singing and began Speeds guitar solo here with ease. Her fingers did all the work as she poured her soul into her guitar playing out all her emotions. As she finished she looked to the side noticing Tommy's eyes meet her for the first time that day. She went back to the mike singing with more passion then she had before. She didn't look back at him.

_So don't bother,  
_

_I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine  
_

_Promise you won't ever see me cry_

And after all I'm glad that I'm not your type  


_Promise you won't ever see me cry_

So don't bother,  


_I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine  
_

_Promise you won't ever see me cry_

And after all I'm glad that I'm not your type, not your type, not your type, not your _type … _(This line had particular significance. When Tommy was leaving Jude had sort of confessed her feelings. She begged for him to stay but Tommy was being an ass and she had no idea why. She had never seen him act like that. One of the last things she remembered him saying was she wasn't his type. She stared him down boldly as she said the line.)_  
_

_Promise you won't ever see me cry_

Jude ended the song with one last strum of her electric and uproar of applause from the audience. She smiled and thanked the crowd.

After she made it backstage she let her real emotions show. She pushed past the crew and slammed the door to the dressing room. She promised herself she wouldn't cry but for some reason that's all she wanted to do was cry. She turned around quickly hearing someone at the door she pushed back her tears as she saw who it was. They were alone.

"Jude, please before you say anything! I can't even begin to admit how sorry I am about all of this!" Tommy pleaded with her looking in her eyes, but there was something different it wasn't the same loving look he used to always receive, this look was cold and distant.

Jude walked closer to him still not saying anything. When she was inches away from his face she spoke. "I've said it once, now I guess I'll say it twice. Get o-v-e-r, over yourself Quincy. Not everything is about you!" She stared him down trying her best not to lose her nerve and break down crying. Everything had just become so messed up.

Tommy stepped back, this wasn't the same Jude. He was worried she had really got over him and felt nothing. He reached out and brushed her cheek with his thumb and looked at her affectionately and pleadingly. He knew he screwed up with getting back with Sadie but all he wanted was at least to be friends with Jude. "Jude, I'm sorry." He whispered realizing she leaned into his hand as if she needed it, her eyes were slightly closed.

Jude felt a tingle down her spine when Tommy touched her. She couldn't explain it but it sent goose bumps down her whole body. Tommy realizing it was safe wrapped his other arm around Jude and pulled her into a hug. He knew she couldn't stay mad at him forever, though he understood why she would want to. He hugged her and took in her scent, she smelled like everything he liked including coffee and the studio.

Jude almost collapsed against Tommy as he hugged her, it had been so long. Opening her eyes she looked up at his face and noticed his eyes were closed taking her in. It was then it hit her. Tommy was with her sister, it's not like he came back for her. Plus, she felt like she loved Speed she wasn't going to fall for Tommy again.

She got angry at Tommy for trying to be close to her like she would forgive him just like that. Jude angrily pushed herself out of Tommy's grasp and pushed him towards the door.

"Jude…we need to talk…" He desperately tried to get her to hear him but she continued shoving him out.

"No you need to get out!" She stopped pushing him and stared at him crazily. He wasn't moving. _Why wasn't he leaving! _She pushed him again opening the door without noticing Victoria & Stuart, Sadie, Georgia, and EJ standing there.

"LEAVE! Just stay out of my life!" She pushed a shocked Tommy out into the shocked crowd. Breathing heavily she slammed yet another door shut with just as much gusto as before. Once on the other side she sighed leaning against the back of the door. Sliding down the door she pulled her knees to her stomach and felt the inevitable flow of tears.

"_I really need a new life._"

**Okay so that's it! Hope that was alright I tried my best here. Oh yeah, nope didn't own that song. Give credit to my girl Shakira! Una Latina como yo! Yeah baby! Don't forget to review it would make me happy and bubbly inside! Thanks!**

**Really don't know what to do with the story now I'm trying to avoid the cliché, but I already have some in this story so…yeah. Oh yeah and I guess I sort of still included the studio space. But it's still different circumstances.**

**Until the sun shines brightest again! **

**-Belle**

**Psst…what are you doing! You should be reviewing!**


	4. Not Exactly What You Think

**Yeah, yeah! I have seven reviews woo hoo! Not that much but enough for me! Plus, let me tell you how much my day was made when I got a review from the greatest writer on this site…Loren! Yeah baby! I was so happy and touched by her review! I luv u Loren! Plus, thank you to everyone else that reviewed! I luv you guys too! Don't worry! Oh and sorry this chapter isn't that long!**

**I own nothing except my body, J & J, my name, my alcohol, my computer, and Loren hehe I wish! She would be writing this story for me right now if I did!**

**On with it already!**

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Chapter Four: Not Exactly What You think

Jude walked into G-major feeling like crap. She had a horrible night last night; she had gotten no sleep and still hadn't heard from Speed. Not to mention her little conversation with Tommy, she hoped he got the point and would just leave her alone, but she knew having to see him everyday would be hard.

As soon as she really made it inside she saw an angry EJ yelling at Speed about yesterday. He looked at Jude as she walked by acting as though she didn't notice them, but it was kind of hard not to when EJ was yelling. She was angry at him and knew he deserved to be yelled at. She walked over and grabbed a cup of coffee and a donut. She noticed Loren walking over to her.

Loren was one of the new artist G-major had recruited. She was blond with shoulder length hair, hazel highlights, blue eyes, and kind of looked a lot like Sadie but she wasn't like Sadie. Jude didn't like her at first until she got to know her, she wasn't just another pop act she had potential. She had become one of Jude's friends when Jude really needed a friend. Jaime and Kat weren't particularly around anymore, they were always shacking it up together.

"Hey, I saw you on Under the Mike yesterday, you did a good job." Loren smiled at Jude as she flipped her blonde hair to the side and looked over at Speed. "What's going on with you two? I noticed he wasn't there."

Jude followed Loren's gaze, she sighed. "Honestly I have no idea. He just didn't show, and frankly I'm glad he's getting yelled at."

Loren looked at Jude knowingly, "yeah…" Loren watched Speed as he sat looking around as though he might die as EJ just kept going on and on.

Jude looked around the studio wondering if Tommy had gotten there already, she really didn't want to see him. Just as she was thinking about him he came in holding a cup of coffee sort of as on cue. Jude started walking away quickly trying to go hide in studio C so he wouldn't see her. "_Too late_," she sighed when she head him call her name.

"Jude, G wants you to record your new song as quickly as possible. She said it was a hit and she wants it on the radio soon." He tried to talk to her as casual as possible as though he never left and nothing was going on.

Jude turned around and stared at him as though he was speaking another language. "What! Record with you, no thanks I'll take a rain check! You know I'm just gonna go flush my head down a toilet! I rather do that then be near you." She spat out the words spitefully, she felt eyes on her including Speeds.

She walked away quickly going outside. She rather be anywhere but in there. It seemed as though the studio was full of people she really didn't like right now. She walked to her car and was unlocking the door when she saw Loren approaching her.

"I'm not even going to ask what that was about." She laughed referring to Jude's little outburst at Tommy. "How about we both just blow this place, G will probably kill us but let's just have a girls day out." She sounded excited. "I mean its Saturday and we have nothing better to do."

Jude smiled, "that's a great idea. Let's go." Jude and Loren went shopping and overall were having a lot of fun. She felt like she did when she used to hang out with Kat.

"Jude I'm going to the bathroom I'll be right back." Jude nodded adjusting her hat; she continued nibbling on her French fry hoping not to be recognized. She jumped a little when Loren's cell rang. Jude picked it up and looked at the picture that flashed on the phone, it was Speed calling. She thought that was strange so she answered it.

"Speed, why are you calling Loren?" There was a long pause before he finally responded.

"Harrison isn't it obvious I'm trying to reach you, I haven't talked to my girl friend since like a day and this is the hello I get! He got a little serious for once, "I'm sorry about yesterday. It's just …never mind…can you meet at the studio space? We need to talk."

Jude got nervous for some reason she had this really bad feeling. She felt like this conversation wasn't going to go well, and she still wanted to wring Speed's neck.

"Fine, I'll be there as soon as I can. I have to say bye to Loren first." Loren came back from the bathroom as Jude was hanging up the phone, she looked at Jude questioningly.

"Sorry, I answered your phone it was Speed. He was trying to reach me...and now all of a sudden he wants to talk. It doesn't sound good. But, look I'm sorry I gotta go." Loren reassured everything was going to be fine and they said their good-byes.

_**(Next day)**_

Jude sat in studio A trying to write down a new song. She thought about last night, and about what Speed had said.

_(Flashback)_

Jude walked in angrily and looked over at where Speed sat waiting for her. Jude walked over to him. He got up and started backing up with his hands held up.

"Don't kill me Harrison. Look I didn't show because I was kidnapped by space aliens!" He tried to make Jude smile.

Jude sighed; she couldn't stay mad at him. "Speed just tell me the truth!" She stopped walking towards him and stood with her hands on her hip. He sat down.

"Fine …. I don't like the song." He looked around the room. "You don't like the song!" Jude questioned him in an irritated tone.

He looked at her with a hurt expression on his face. "It's about Tommy, Jude it's not like I'm dumb. I can read between the lines."

Jude was surprised and walked over to where he was sitting now. She knelt down in front of him. "Speed, that song was not about Tommy okay." She looked at him trying to figure out was he was thinking.

Speed got up angrily, "right Harrison and I guess your going to tell me you're really over him right! You haven't even said you love me yet, why should I believe anything you say! That song was about him and you know it, you hate he came back and went to Sadie instead of you!"

His words stung, but deep down she knew they were true. It made her feel all the more worse. She looked at him getting up from where she knelt. "Speed I do love you. I could care less about Tommy and Sadie and if you don't believe me then maybe you're the one with the problem." She spoke convincingly trying to convince Speed but most of all herself.

Jude quickly walked towards the door not really wanting to be there anymore. She felt Speeds hand grab her arm stopping her. She turned around quickly, she was about to ask him what he wanted but was stopped by his lips crashing down on hers. She was the shocked one this time but she enjoyed it and wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him back.

Speed pulled away and smiled. "I knew you loved me Harrison. Can't get enough of the Speedster can ya!" He smiled at her mischievously as he pulled her back into the room and took her jacket off.

_(Flashback ended)_

Jude smiled remembering that Speed and her had made up 2 times and all was good. She looked at Tommy as she noticed with his headphones on while he mixed a song, he was glaring at her. Her smiled quickly faded and turned into a frown as she looked back down at the paper. As much as she tried avoiding being around Tommy it was inevitable considering they worked together.

Tommy looked back down at the soundboard as he noticed Jude frowned at him. It was killing him having Jude hate him and he didn't know how to fix it. He looked up at the door as he saw Speed come in. All he wanted to do was inflict a little bit of pain on him. He knew it would satisfy him.

Speed walked over to Jude and kissed her taking a sit down next to her. Tommy watched from the corner of his eyes as he saw them laugh and Jude completely ignore the song she was supposed to be writing.

"Jude you're supposed to be writing a song. Speed you're a distraction." He looked over at Speed.

Jude snorted out in disgust. "No Tommy, Speed is my boy friend and I'll get the song done when I do. Tommy just mind your business and go back to doing whatever it is you do." She turned her attention back to Speed and ignored Tommy's glare.

Tommy angrily got up and left the studio. He couldn't stand to be around Jude and Speed any longer.

_**(Later on that night)**_

Much to Jude's distress Tommy and her were the last one's left in the studio. She was trying to write a new song but was coming up with nothing. She twirled around in her chair while Tommy mixed around the song she had finished recording, the one from Under the Mike. He looked over at her and stopped what he was doing.

"Jude I never meant to hurt you by leaving." He looked at her sincerely. Jude continued twirling around in her chair pretending she didn't hear him. Tommy got up and walked over to where she sat. He grabbed the handles of the chair stopping her from twirling. He was inches away from her face.

Jude sat there shocked she stared at him and didn't know what to say. She looked in his eyes and quickly looked away.

Tommy couldn't control himself anymore he had come back for Jude and now here she sat not even being able to look at him. She tried to get up and leave but he didn't budge so she couldn't get up. She stared at him terrified at what he might do, she knew if he kissed her she wouldn't be able to control herself. He continued staring at her.

"Jude I need you to hear me out. My intentions never were to come back and get back with Sadie. I just…" he didn't know exactly what to say he didn't want to tell Jude how he felt because he wasn't so sure himself. She opened her mouth about to say something but was stopped by Tommy's lips. Jude's wall began to crumble as Tommy kissed her. He leaned forward into the chair kissing her with intensity. Tommy lowered himself to his knees as he continued kissing her. Jude slid out of her chair as she gripped on his collar and kissed him back. They were now both kneeling on the floor kissing each other. Tommy's hand held onto her hips while Jude held onto his collar trying to steady herself. She pulled away but Tommy grabbed her face with his hands and kissed her again with yearning.

Jude couldn't believe what was happening, here was Tommy kissing her and she was doing nothing to stop him. Tommy pulled away and stood up looking at the flustered Jude still kneeling. "That, now that is was I came back for." He looked at her and walked out.

Jude sat on the floor and touched her lips where Tommy had kissed her. She knew that she was slowly starting to fall for him again and she didn't know what to do to stop it.

_**(Next Day)**_

Jude had finally written a song and was nervous about recording it. It was completely and utterly about Tommy. She was nervous Speed would know but she had nothing else so she had to record it. She walked into the booth and looked out at Tommy and Kwest. She hadn't told anyone about the kiss that happened between her and Tommy and by the way Kwest was acting she could tell he didn't know. She put her headphones on and looked out at them. She put up a thumb indicating she was ready to record.

She tapped her thigh with her left hand to the beat. She started signing slowly and closed her eyes. She knew Tommy was looking at her so she couldn't open them.

_Don't walk too close_

_Don't breathe so soft_

_Don't talk so sweet_

_Don't sing_

_Don't lay oh so near_

_Please, don't let me fall in love with you again _(Tommy watched Jude as she sang with passion, he knew this song was about him. It hurt him that she was hoping not to fall for him again.)

_Please let me forget_

_all those sweet smiles_

_all of the passion_

_all of the peace, the heat, the pain_

_all those blue skies_

_where your words were my freedom _(She opened her eyes and focused her attention on Tommy as she sang. She wanted him to get the message. She refuses to fall for him again.)

_Please, don't let me fall in love with you again_

_Too many times_

_I've cared too much_

_I stood on the edge_

_and saw that you held my hand_

_and knowing too well_

_I couldn't hide from those eyes_

_Please, don't let me fall in love with you again _

She ended the song with intensity in her voice. Every word she said in the song was true. She hoped she wouldn't fall in love with Tommy again but she knew she was. She came out of the booth and avoided looking at Tommy.

"Wow...that was...wow Jude, intense!" Kwest uttered looking completely excited. "Georgia is going to love it!" Jude smiled weakly and Tommy watched her. She grabbed her keys and things. "Thanks Kwest, but I'm exhausted I'm going to go home. She walked out of G-major quickly and headed towards her car. She was stopped by Tommy who had followed her out and grabbed her arm; she whipped around and stared at him.

"That song was about me wasn't it?" He questioned in sort of a whisper. He knew it was but he wanted to hear her say it.

"No Tommy it was about my dog, now can you leave me alone!" She spoke in an irritated tone as she grabbed her arm back and almost jumped into her car. She sped out of the G-major parking lot and left Tommy standing there. Tommy sighed and walked back into the studio.

Loren came out of her car after witnessing what had went down between Tommy and Jude, she thought about when she saw them kissing earlier. She had walked into studio A to finish recording her song and was shocked when she saw Jude and Tommy kissing. She smirked to herself as she stood in the parking and pulled out her cell phone. She quickly dialed Speed's number.

**

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****Okay no I did not write that song. That was Jewel's song "Don't." I never even heard it I just stumbled across the lyrics by accident! I was happy I found it though. I know you must be so mad Loren that I used your name for Loren! I just was so tempted! Hehe!**

**Stop reading this! Go review people! Review hurry! Quick! The sun is shining bright again…**

**-Belle**


	5. Assholes

**Loren dear, it's the other way around. You flatter me too much. Luv ya. Also, if you like evil you're going to really love this Loren girl! hinthint Okay so don't really know what to say! I love you guys all so much for reviewing you guys are so sweet. Even though I'm sick I knew I had to get this chapter out. I mean my chapters aren't that long so I can do it. **

**I own nothing! Um…I'm running out of sassy things to say…hmm….I own, oh I don't know. Whatever. Loren you can write something sassy for me! Yeah!**

**Getting on with it already...**

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Chapter 5: **_Assholes :-)_**

Jude laid in her bed crying for what it seemed the hundredth time. Loren sat at the end of the bed trying to coax Jude.

"Jude, hun it couldn't have been that bad; what did he say?" She tried looking simpatically at Jude but it was coming kind of hard for her. She wanted to bash her face in; she was annoying her so bad.

"I have no idea how he knew Loren! He said he knew Tommy and I kissed! What could I have said? It was all over my face. I don't even know how he found out he saw a picture or something." Jude dramatically sighed and put her hands on her stomach looking up at the ceiling. Every thing got messed up real quick and Speed hated her.

Loren patted Jude's hand. "Well, I don't really think its how he found out that counts honey." She smiled the best smile she could muster at Jude trying to reassure her. At least Speed had finally come to his senses and dumped Jude's poser ass.

Jude sat up and looked at her with puffy eyes. "I hate Tommy! This is all his fault he shouldn't have kissed me, he knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself." She bit her lip thinking to herself. She was really glad she had Loren she really needed her.

Loren looked at her watch nonchalantly. "Well, I got to go. Sorry hun, if you need me just call alright? Oh by the wait I think you should stay away from the studio for a couple of days." Jude nodded, and Loren smiled. She almost ran out of the room. She had to go comfort someone _else_.

Jude dug her head in her pillow and thought about the horrible fight she and Speed had in the studio in front of everyone. She was so embarrassed especially considering the fact Tommy was watching when she couldn't even say she didn't still have feelings for him. Not to mention what Sadie did when she found out. She actually tried to fight Jude. It was bad. All Sadie got away with was a few strands of hair, and a black eye. Then Jude had to lie to her parents why she and Sadie were fighting; now she was on punishment and couldn't go anywhere. She laid back and sang Criminal quietly to herself.

**(A few days later)**

Jude was having a horrible week. Speed wouldn't answer her calls and Sadie had forgiven Tommy more quickly then she thought she would. She walked into G-major and tried to ignore the staring, she had been gone for a total of three days. She saw Georgia approaching her and didn't feel like talking she almost ran to studio C. Jude spit out her coffee all over the place when she say who was making out in there.

Speed quickly jumped off of Loren and put his shirt back on. He didn't look at Jude but instead looked down. Loren wiped her lips and looked at Jude without an ounce of remorse.

"Oh wipe that shocked look off your face Jude. We both knew it was bond to happen." She straightened out her shirt and ran her fingers threw her hair.

Jude was shocked, here was her so called only friend about to have sex with her ex that she just broke up with three days ago. She didn't know what to say so she didn't say anything. She dropped her coffee and leaped at Loren like an animal, she didn't know what got into her but she just kept attacking her. Loren screamed and tried to fight back. Jude had a solid hold on her hair as Speed tried to pull Jude off of her, he was only making Jude pull out Loren's hair more.

"YOU CONIVING, EVIL, STUPID BITCH!" Jude wanted revenge and wasn't letting go now. Jude had snapped it was pretty obvious Loren had sent Speed the picture of the kiss. Tommy came running in the room and pushed Speed out of the way. He grabbed just under Jude's arms and practically had to drag her out of the room.

"JUDE! Jude calm down!" He talked to her soothingly trying to calm her down as he held on to her. Georgia dropped everything she was doing and ran over to Loren, she and EJ were ushering her and Speed out. They knew that they couldn't be in the same room as Jude.

Jude had to admit even at this moment if felt good to be in Tommy's arms but she couldn't think about that right now. She was pissed she had gotten into one too many fights all in one week. It wasn't even in Jude to fight, let alone over a guy. She yelled at Tommy to put her down and he finally did. She breathed heavily as she touched her bottom lip and realized it was bleeding. Everyone stared at them as Tommy walked with her to the bathroom. He wet some paper and put it over the cut. They both stayed silent as Jude liked the feeling of Tommy taking care of her. She touched his hand as he held the paper to her mouth. She whispered, "thanks." She still held onto his hand as she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. She walked out and heard EJ and Georgia trying to catch up with her, she sped up and ran out of G-major. She quickly went home.

She walked in the door quickly and sighed when she saw Sadie come into the hallway. _Just what I need, _Jude thought miserably. So much had happened. Her band was completely ruined now, she had no friends, she had no sister, she had no parents, and technically she didn't have Tommy he was Sadie's.

"What Sadie, what do you want!" Jude asked in an exasperated tone.

Sadie looked at her lip. "Whoa, what happened to your lip?" Sadie walked over to Jude and actually looked concerned. Just then she felt guilty for being so mean to Sadie and causing her that black eye she had on her face.

"It's nothing, I fell." Jude began walking into the living room not really wanting to be bothered.

"You got to be kidding me! You fell! Well then I guess I fell and got this black eye."

Sadie went into the kitchen and came back with ice cream. She sat down on the couch next to Jude and they talked about what happened. After Jude was done talking and Sadie gave her advice she looked over at Sadie.

"Why are you with Tommy?" Jude knew she shouldn't have really asked that but she was honestly curious. She watched as Sadie looked as though she was thinking about it.

She looked over at Jude and answered honestly, "I love him." She looked back at the T.V. as though Jude had asked her nothing. Jude also looked back at the T.V. and couldn't believe what Sadie had said. She never thought Sadie to be stupid but now here she was surprising Jude all the more. Although Sadie was completely insane she knew she couldn't hurt her by kissing Tommy again as much as she wanted to.

**(Later on the day)**

Jude sat in studio A trying to write a song. She came in and acted as nothing happened. She was pleased when Kyle told her Loren was missing a chunk of her hair. Jude sat beating her pencil on her paper trying to come with something that would let her emotions out. She looked over at where Tommy sat. He hadn't really spoken to her since they were outside in the parking lot. She felt the need to ask him something.

"Tommy… do you love Sadie?" Tommy quickly stopped what he was doing and looked at Jude.

"Love's a strong word, what made you ask that?" He had no idea why Jude had asked him that and he found it particularly strange. He felt anything but love for Sadie. He wasn't even sure if he really liked her that much.

Jude looked back at the paper and thought about what Sadie had said. "Nothing, I was just wondering." She thought about how Tommy didn't actually say he didn't.

"Jude, I don't love Sadie." Jude just nodded and went back to silently tapping her pen on the paper. Tommy had offered to help her write the song but she really didn't want to write a song about Loren or Speed with Tommy. She also thought about how she had to look for a new lead guitarist it made her angry every time she thought about it. At least she still had Kyle and Wally; they were pissed when they found out what Speed had done. Jude started writing feverishly and walked out quickly when she had finished without saying anything to Tommy. She thought about the song as she drove home.

**(Next day)**

Jude walked around her school hallway trying to avoid almost everyone. She avoided Kat and Jamie it was not like she was going to see them anyway. She also avoided Speed at all cost. She knew she was wrong for kissing Tommy but Tommy kissed her, and Speed was just _wrong_! It seemed as though he had forgotten about her kissing Tommy though. He wanted her back; he left like 20 messages on her new cell and 40 on her house phone. Her mom was so pissed. She stood at her locker burying her face in it not wanting to be bothered; she felt a hand touch her. She turned around.

"Speed leave me the hell alone. Don't you get the message? I don't like you, why do you think I kissed Tommy back!" She smirked and knew that what she said hurt. Speed was stubborn though and she knew he wouldn't give up easily.

"Harrison, just let me stay in the band. This has nothing to do about us." He crossed his arms and stood his ground.

Jude shook her head. "No one wants you in the band anymore so too bad. You become a man whore and you lose." She turned around and went back into her locker. _When is the damn bell for lunch going to ring! _She thought, becoming very irritated.

Speed was about to say something but then Jamie came over. "Speed, I'm still SME's manager and I say you're out of the band. Where changing the name to Judermen Mind Fiasco." He stood next to Jude and looked seriously at Speed.

Speed looked pissed. "Fine manager dude, I don't care! You can do what you want. I rather flush my head down a toilet then be in the band anyway!" He mocked Jude and walked away.

Jude turned and looked at Jamie as Speed walked away. It seemed as though she hadn't seen him an ages. She hugged him tight. "I missed you so much." She saw Kat come from behind him and she swept her into a hug too. They walked to lunch and she explained to them just how much her life was sucking.

**(Later…)**

After school Tommy had picked Jude up because Sadie had burrowed her car and they drove to the studio in awkward silence. Jude didn't think much of the way Tommy was acting and they walked to Studio A to record her new song. After she was finished Tommy and Kwest were pleased and they sat around listening to the almost finished version, it just needed some more mixing. This was one going to be one of the longest songs on her album.

_Sappy pathetic little me _

_That was the girl I used to be _

_You had me on my knees _

_I'd trade you places any day _

_I'd never thought you could be that way _

_But you looked like me on Sunday_

_You came in with the breeze _

_On Sunday Morning _(Jude thought about how different this song was from all her

other stuff. This was definitely a new sound for her, but she liked it all the same.)

_You sure have changed since yesterday _

_Without any warning  
_

_I thought I knew you _

_I thought I knew you _

_I thought I knew you well... so well  
_

_You're trying my shoes on for a change_

_They look so good but fit so strange _

_Out of fashion so I can complain  
_

_You came in with the breeze _

_On Sunday Morning _

_You sure have changed since yesterday_

_Without any warning  
_

_I thought I knew you _

Jude wasn't exactly sure who she was signing about. You could just say she wasn't singing about anyone in particular. It was mostly about Loren though.

_I thought I knew you _

_I thought I knew you well... so well  
_

_I know who I am, but who are you? _

_You're not looking like you used to _

_You're on the other side of the mirror _

_So nothing's looking quite as clear  
_

_Thank you, for turning on the light _

_Thank you, now you're the parasite _

_I didn't think you had it in you _

_And now, you're looking like I used to!  
_

_You came in with the breeze _

_On Sunday Morning _

_You sure have changed since yesterday _

_Without any warning _

_And you want me badly_

_You cannot have me _

_  
I thought I knew you _

_I've got a new view _

_I thought I knew you well...oh well_

After the song ended she looked at Kwest and Tommy proudly. She was happy the way the song turned out. Kwest looked at Tommy he still had this odd look on his face so Kwest left the room feeling as though Tommy may want to talk to Jude.

Jude looked at Tommy happily, "did you like the song?" She had stopped being mad at him at some point she just wasn't exactly sure when.

Tommy looked at Jude nervously. "Yeah girl, it was great." He didn't meet her eyes when he spoke and she knew something was up.

"Tommy what's wrong? Why are you acting so strange?" She rolled her chair closer to him she could tell by his face he was thinking.

"I sort of did something…uh stupid today…" Jude nodded her head nervously for him to go on; she honestly didn't really want to know what he did. I mean if Tommy was that nervous to tell her it must be bad.

"I sort of… um… kind of… Sadie thinks I purposed to her." He hung his head is shame as he finished. Jude almost jumped out of her chair in shock.

"What! What in the world would make her think that!" Her eyes were bulging out of her head and she felt like she might be sick.

"I honestly don't know girl! One minute I was bored and started twirling around the ring on her finger that I gave her, and the next she was all asking me questions about our future. I panicked when she asked if I saw a long future for me and her and when I said yes, she freaked. She went all crazy wedding planner Barbie on me and I didn't know what to say."

Jude _didn't know what to say_ all she wanted to do was punch his face in. "How about something like, _Uh Sadie I did not purpose so calm down, _not lead her on! How stupid are you!" Jude headed for the door.

Tommy grabbed her hand, "Jude wait, it's not like I actually purposed." Jude turned around and looked at him angrily.

"Tommy you're an asshole! A dumb asshole, you and all men alike!" She stomped put of G-major and called a cab to go to Kat's house. It seemed as though leaving G-major in a huff was becoming a habit.

**

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****Okay not the best chapter I know. I tried though. That song was by No Doubt it's called Sunday Morning. I'll see if I can keep updating everyday. It's becoming difficult to find good songs though. I honestly don't know how to go on with this story.**

**Until the sun shines brighter again…**

**-Belle**


	6. Odd Pairings and Stupid People

**I tried Loren. I really tried to take a long break…sadly, I just couldn't. On a side note, I completely ran out of things to say for these little author's notes…so yeah. Thanks to everyone that reviewed especially Loren. I made 16 reviews, yay! Oh, and a special thanks to Alexzj18, you say the nicest things. Thanks!**

**I own nothing…at all.**

**This chapter is going to start a little differently…it's not all about Jude you know!**

**This is my favorite chapter! Hehe**

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Chapter Six: _Odd Pairings and Stupid People_

Sadie ran into Studio B, she felt like a complete idiot. She couldn't believe she actually thought she loved Tommy. She slammed the door shut and leaned back against it. She put the back of her head against the door and tilted her eyes to the side when she acknowledged the presence of someone else in the room.

"Whoa Sadie, having a bad night?" Kwest asked taking his headphones off. He twirled his chair around so that he could completely face her, he knew she had been out with Tommy, about the kiss, the real reason Tommy came back, and how he was just leading Sadie on for some dumb reason.

She looked at Kwest with her tear-streaked face; she stood up straight and wiped her face embarrassed. "It's nothing…Tommy's just drunk. He sort of let's just say…cleared some things up for me." She shrugged and took the ring Tommy had given her off like it was a disease on her finger.

Kwest looked at her simpatically. He had always been the one to give advice to Tommy on his relationship with Sadie but it seemed as though he always screwed it up. "What did he say Sadie?" He didn't really want to know, a drunken Tommy means a stupid Tommy.

Sadie shrugged again as she took a seat on the couch in directly in front of Kwest. "When did you grow this beard-mustache combo? It looks horrible!" She laughed for the first time that night. She laughed again when Kwest ran his index finger and thumb threw the hair on his chin as though he were actually thinking about it.

Kwest smirked at her he was glad he made her laugh, "You know you love it! I look hot!" He put up his right arm trying to show he had some muscle. Kwest didn't understand how Tommy could be so mean to Sadie. So he wasn't mean like calling her names or anything it was just the things he did. It was like he didn't care.

Sadie touched his arm, "oh yeah you sure got muscle there, Mr. Muscle." She laughed at at how dumb what she said was. Her mind still drifted to Tommy as she talked to Kwest. She couldn't believe some of the things Tommy would actually tell you if you just got him a little drunk… okay a lot drunk. She smiled as Kwest continued to cheer her up. _If he would shave the hair off his face he wouldn't look half bad…_

**(Next day...)**

Jude walked into her house around 7 in the morning the next day. She had a pretty good night at Kat's. She hung her jacket up on the coat hanger and walked into the kitchen, her mother and Sadie were eating breakfast. She kissed her mom on the cheek and grabbed a pop-tart and some coffee. Sadie just sat silently eating she hadn't looked at Jude. Their mother finished eating and left to go to work. Jude looked at Sadie wondering why she was being so quiet.

"Sadie, why are you being so quiet," She stopped eating and pushed her cup to the side as she spoke. She leaned over trying to get Sadie to look at her with no such luck.

Sadie darted her eyes around the room as she slowly swallowed her food and got up slowly, "Tommy and I broke up..." she finally looked over at Jude with a hurt expression on her face. She grabbed her jacket that was on the back of her chair and put in on.

Jude was surprised, one minute they're engaged, next minute they break up. "Whoa... why?" She turned in her seat and put a reassuring hand on Sadie's shoulder. She felt pretty bad they broke up. She had no excuse not to go after Tommy anymore. She also felt like she almost had something to do with the break up. She didn't like seeing Sadie hurt.

Sadie smiled weakly, "funny you should ask, I think you should take that up with Tommy though, he may have some interesting things to tell you." She grabbed the keys to her new car she bought yesterday and left.

Jude stared at one of the cabinets in the kitchen and finished her breakfast. She silently took off quickly to G-major to question Tommy.

Jude walked in quickly and was almost running to Studio A; she knew Tommy would be there. She bumped right smack dab into EJ who seemed to be holding all types of articles. Jude bent down to help EJ pick them up. "No, Jude hun, I can do that!" She tried to pick them up but Jude was faster.

Jude looked at the first magazine in horror. On the front page under the headline was a picture of Tommy and her when they kissed in the studio. She was horrified; her mom would kill her, not to mention what her dad would do when he found out. She flipped threw the rest and they were all the same. Jude looked at EJ frantic, "Loren that BITCH! She did this EJ!"

EJ spoke calmly, "who cares who sent it, and do you know how great this is for your career! It's not like you're illegal!" EJ looked at Jude proudly. Jude felt like she might be sick. She threw the magazines up in the air making them fall all over the place.

"Who cares about my career?" She ran into Studio A, and saw Tommy holding one of the magazines. She became calm as soon as she saw him. She remembered she had come here for a particular reason, to find out why Tommy and Sadie broke up.

She sat down in one of the rolling chairs next to him. "Have you seen this?" He held up the magazine with his left hand as he rubbed his temple with the palm of his right hand. Jude nodded as she looked at his face, he looked worn and tired. He definitely had a hangover.

Tommy looked over at her, "this is real bad girl, and they make me seem like some pervert." He continued rubbing his temple with his palm. He threw the magazines aside on the couch behind them.

"I'm 18 Tommy, and who cares what they think? Even if we were together for real and I was like 30 they would still print lies." She grabbed Tommy's hand that was rubbing his temple and held onto it reassuringly. "Don't worry, I know you're not a pervert." She smiled at him, she felt herself becoming closer and closer to Tommy since he came back. She couldn't help it he was like a drug and she was a drug addict giving into temptation each time.

Tommy took his hand back slowly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Jude...I was wrong before and you were right...we can't happen. You're still young...it just isn't right." He continued rubbing his neck not being able to look at her. Jude felt like a complete idiot, she knew she should have never opened her heart to Tommy again.

She got up and hit him in the chest hard pushing his chair back a little. "Oh, right! This is all just a big game for you! Come back and make poor 'ol stupid Jude and Sadie fall for you again! Why couldn't I have seen this coming! You know Tommy just answer me one question, why did you and Sadie break up...hmm? I bet you have no answer! She started hitting him in the chest again, he grabbed her arms calmly. "Jude, stop it."

"What can't take a few hits from a girl can you! You know, I wrote a song for you. Isn't that pathetic? Right when I thought that maybe you were being sincere for once I was wrong! You know what; let's go record it, come on. We can add the music later!" She ran into the booth as Tommy tried to stop her. She put her headphones on and looked like she might kill Tommy if he didn't do the same. He reluctantly put them on and hit record.

Jude closed her eyes and began singing, she had the lyrics memorized but she had no music in to background to go by. She didn't care she wanted Tommy to hear the song. She felt like such a fool.

_Inside my skin _(She started off slowly almost whispering, she gripped her headphones

on each side.)

_There is this space..._

_It twists and turns_

_It bleeds and aches _(She began singing louder, putting more emphasis on this lyric. She wanted him to know exactly how she felt.)

_Inside my heart_

_There's an empty room._

_It's waiting for lightning;_

_It's waiting for you _(She went back to a quiet whisper as she sang the lyric, it was no longer true. He was the last thing she wanted.)

_I am wanting and..._

_I am needing you here_

_Inside the absence of fear_

_Muscles and sinew _(She started singing loudly and a little faster bending her knees a little.

_Velvet and stone..._

_This vessel is haunted_

_It creaks and moans_

_My bones call to you_

_In their separate skin._

_I make myself translucent_

_To let you in, for.._

_I am wanting, and..._

_I am needing you here_

_Inside the absence of fear_

_There is this hunger _(Tommy listened to her voice as she sang she didn't sound like Jude she sounded more like this girl Tommy saw a night club singing once, some girl named Patsy. That's exactly how Jude started singing, without any music even in the background)

_This restlessness inside of me_

Tommy pressed a button, "Jude, Jude! Listen to me you're going to make you voice hoarse! Jude!" She ignored him and kept scream singing.

_And it knows that you're no stranger,_

_You're my gravity_

_My hands will adore you_

_Through all darkness, and aim_

_Lay you out in moonlight_

_And reinvent your name_

_For I am wanting, and... _(She began to whisper again, her throat burned and ached but she was determined to finish the song. Tommy was right she did become hoarse but she didn't care. It felt good, she just let go and felt free.)

_I am needing you_

_To be here..._

_I need you near... _(She paused for a good while and opened her eyes. She stared at Tommy as she sang the last line...)

_Inside the absence of fear._

She finished and finally dropped her hands from the sides of her headphones. She touched her throat. It really burned and above all she a major headache. She looked out at Tommy. He just sat staring at her and didn't say anything. She walked out of the booth.

"Well, that was fun." She spoke in a husky voice that matched his at certain times. It freaked both her and Tommy out that she sounded like that.

Tommy looked over at her with sadness in his eyes; he didn't mean to hurt her so badly. He was just once again...doing what he thought was right. "Jude...your voice..." he looked over at her genuinely concerned.

Jude shrugged, "like you really care," she spoke in the loudest voice she could muster. "I'll just go home and eat some Halls and drink tea and stuff."

Tommy sighed, "Girl, I do care. Don't tell me that I don't care. You have no damn idea how much I care." He got up from his seat and walked over to where she stood. He took the side of her face into his hand and brought it up so she was looking at him. She flinched at his touch and looked away. He was doing it again, getting too close.

She backed up and away from him. "You only care for me as one of your clients! If I can't sing it's bad for you!" She grabbed her jacket and keys and headed out full speed once again. People like Georgia and EJ were getting used to Jude running out.

Jude rushed home, her voice was really messed up and she had to do something to fix it. She walked in the house quietly. It wasn't exactly early it was 12 at night or you can say morning. She took her jacket off and hung it up on the coat hanger. She noticed the living room light was on so she walked over to shut the lights off.

"OH my God!" Jude dropped her keys in shock at the people that were making out on the couch. She covered her eyes; this was just way too similar to when she caught Yvette and her dad.

Kwest quickly jumped off Sadie and looked over at Jude embarrassed. Sadie sat up and started to fix her clothes quickly. Jude began backing out of the room but Sadie got up ran over to her.

"Jude! You can't tell mom!" Sadie continued fixing her hair and looked over at Kwest. Jude followed her gaze; she realized Kwest no longer had any hair on his face.

"Hey, when did you shave?" she laughed knowing it had to be because of Sadie. She never liked overly hairy men.

Kwest also laughed, "this morning...but hey your voice! It sounds horrible!" He looked over at Jude with the same concern as Sadie.

Jude shrugged and shifted a little from side to side. "It's nothing...I was just singing too loud." Kwest nodded his head knowingly taking a seat on their couch. He knew Jude wouldn't tell their mother or Tommy. Though, he knew Tommy shouldn't care, he threw Sadie away when he drunkenly told her he came back because of Jude and really had no desire to be around her.

"Come on Jude lets go to the kitchen. I think we have just the medicine for it." Jude followed Sadie into the kitchen sadly; this was supposed to be their mother's job, not Sadie's.

Sadie gave Jude a Hall cough drop to eat while she made some warm tea with honey. She told Jude not to speak and just drink it. Jude silently drank the tea and thought about what happened at the studio and with Kwest and Sadie. She had to admit, she was happy for Sadie. Going with Kwest would have to be one of the best choices she ever made. Now who would Tommy go after to fall back on?

After Jude finished the tea, Sadie gave her some warm salt water to gargle. Jude did it, and was feeling instantly better. She wondered why Sadie was being so nice and then it hit her. _Duh, Sadie was about to get some...I'd be happy too. _She went to bed and Sadie told her to gargle warm salt water again when she woke up and she should be as good as new. Though, she shouldn't be trying to hit any high notes in songs or anything like that.

The next morning Jude woke up and did her daily routines. After she was finished, she gargled the warm salt water like Sadie had told her. Her throat was feeling a lot better but she was almost scared to speak. She walked downstairs and didn't find her mother making breakfast. She was glad she hadn't seen her and wouldn't have to face her about the articles. It seemed as though she hadn't even found out yet, and Jude's dad had went on a vacation with Yvette so he didn't know yet either... Jude grabbed a pop-tart and went to school. She was dreading going to the Studio at lunchtime.

A couple of hours later Jude said good-bye to Kat and Jaime, and was rushing her way over to G-major. She was late and she didn't want to see Tommy, let alone an annoyed Tommy. She bustled her way into G-major after being followed by paparazzi. It was becoming an annoying habit ever since they thought she was involved with Tommy. Everyone that worked at G-major had to begin parking their cars in the back alley way so they wouldn't be bothered leaving.

Jude walked into G-major feeling a lot better then when she left. She walked in, answered some questions for EJ, and was told by Georgia to go record, so she did. She walked into Studio B and saw Tommy mixing around a song by Mason. He turned it off when he noticed Jude standing there.

"How's your voice girl? Can you sing?" He wheeled his chair around so he could completely see her. He hoped she wasn't still mad at him.

Jude spoke calmly walking into the room and taking a seat in the couch Tommy's chair was now facing. "If you call me girl one more time, I will fucking kill somebody!" She looked a little crazily at him as he put his hands up as sort of surrender like Speed had did when they were at the studio space.

"Whoa, Jude, look you must still be mad about yesterday and hungry. Let's go have lunch before we do anything, by the way your voice sounds a hell of a lot better. What did you do?" Jude was getting irritated at how he acted like nothing had happened at all.

She looked at him and shrugged, "oh I just got help from my sister Sadie, you know the one's who heart you casually broke...and then mine. But fine, lunch is fine. Let's go and pretend nothing happened." She grabbed her jacket that she wore on Under the Mike on both occasions and put it over her blue t-shirt.

Tommy sighed; he didn't know what to do to make Jude not hate him. He was trying his best and it wasn't easy for someone like Tommy. He grabbed his keys to the Viper and followed Jude out. They walked silently to the car; he could tell Jude was angry and thinking. He opened Jude's side of the door and she got in without saying anything. As he closed her door she leaned over and started to honk the horn for him to hurry up. He almost ran to the other side of the car and jumped in.

"Jude! Don't touch any thing in this car!" He looked at her as if she just tried to murder his children or something.

Jude laughed at him, "why don't you just marry this stupid car?" She turned and looked out the window on her side. It was nothing out there except more cars.

Tommy put the key in the ignition. "You're right; if it was normal I would marry this car. Don't call her stupid you'll hurt her feelings!" As he turned the key radio came on. A familiar voice filled the speakers and he looked at Jude questioningly.

_I will meet you _

He looked over at Jude as he heard her voice coming from the speakers. "When did you record this?" he asked while looking at her.

_In some place_

Jude continued to look out the window. "When you were gone, I recorded it with Kwest." She turned and looked over at Tommy sadly. He could see he was really causing her all types of pain. He touched her face and leaned his face closer into hers. He was going to kiss her on the forehead but she moved causing him to kiss her on the lips. Jude wrapped her arms around Tommy's neck and this time she wouldn't let go. She climbed over to his seat and straddled him. Now in the Viper this was an extremely painful position to be in. Jude's head bumped the roof and she head to lower her face to his without ease. Not to mention his seat wasn't built for two people, but she didn't care.

_Where the light lends itself_

Jude's voice continued to come from the speakers and every time she sang a new lyric on the radio she would stop kissing him and sing along; softly into his ear the lyrics.

_To soft repose_

_I will let you undress me_

She sang along with the last lyric right into his ear and arched her back forward to kiss him under his ear lobe. She knew that was a soft spot for guys. Speed always went crazy when she did it.

_But I warn you_

_I have thorns like any rose_

_You could hurt me_

_With your bare hands_

_You could hurt me_

She continued to stop and sing along to the lyrics for him. After she would sing some of the lyrics she would pause and kiss him sweetly somewhere, whether it be his ear lobe or cheeks. Tommy wasn't lifeless, when she sang he would kiss her neck softly or he'd cut her off with his lips. Tommy wanted to stop himself but he just couldn't. Here she was singing and kissing him irresistibly.

_Using the sharp end of what you say_

_But I'm lost to you now_

_And there's no amount of reason_

_That could save me_

_So break me_

_Take me_

_Just let me feel your arms again_

_Break me_

_I'll let you make me_

_Just let me feel your love again_

Tommy's hand crept up her shirt touching her bare back. He loved the feeling of her soft skin under his hands. He stopped her from singing and tasted her lips once more.

_Feels like being underwater_

_Now that I've let go_

_And lost control_

Her song continued to play in the background as they made out. Jude slowly slipped off Tommy's shirt and it was a hard task in the cramped Viper. Her head kept hitting the roof; she knew she would have pain for days after this.

_Water kisses fill my mouth_

_Water fills my soul_

_So break me_

_Take me_

_Just let me feel your arms again_

_Break me_

Tommy continued to kiss Jude as she touched his bare chest, but he didn't make a move to take her shirt off. He was still aware of what he was doing.

_I'll let you make me_

_Just let me feel your love again_

_Kiss me once_

_Well, maybe twice_

_Oh, it never felt so nice_

_So break me_

_Take me_

_Just let me feel your arms again_

Tommy started to kiss Jude's neck again and she started to sing along to the lyrics sweetly. She held onto his bare shoulders as he kissed her neck and moved down and gave gentle kisses to her collar bones.

_Break me_

_I'll let you make me_

_Just let me feel your love again_

Tommy continued kissing Jude's neck and moved up to her cheeks as she softly sang along with the last lyric.

_Just let me feel your love again_

As the song finished Jude pushed Tommy off of her, she almost rolled off of him back into the passenger seat of the Viper. Tommy looked at her incredulously with lipstick all over his face.

Jude leaned over and wiped some off a little roughly. She opened the door on her side and looked back at him before she got out. "How does it feel to be kissed and then ditched?" She threw his shirt at him and got of the car walking back into G-major.

Tommy was shocked he didn't know what to think or do. He really hurt Jude badly and it seemed as though he only kept doing it. He put on his shirt and looked in the rearview mirror quickly wiping away the lipstick.

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****Haha, I love that ending. Tommy seems so used lol. I like this chapter. Some hott Jommy moments! Well, all I can say is thanks to everyone and review quickly. Oh by the way, I may not have the next chapter out in a while. I need a break and next week I have spring break. I can update like everyday if I want then.**

**Until the sun shines on Loren, lol...**

**-Belle**

**Review! Review! Review!**

**P.S. Considering my mom bothered me I couldn't edit this chapter properly. It probably has a ton of mistakes. Oh well, lol. I forgot to mention, both songs are by Jewel. First one is Absence of Fear and the second one is Break me.**


	7. Addiction, it's a sad thing

**Loren! Loren! Loren! About time you review! I was starting to think you fell off a cliff somewhere. Okay, so I know it's sad that I wanted you to review so badly, but hey! Your reviews are great! I love them! Yay! Anyway, thanks for all of the reviews! 21! Yeah, baby.**

**Okay so yes on with this crazy chapter. Just so you know my sister came up with the idea of the craziness in this one.**

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Chapter Seven: **_Addiction, it's a sad thing._**

Jude stood in the booth getting ready to record her new song. She had to say she was more then a little bit nervous to sing it in front of Kwest and Tommy. This song was dripping with passion and emotion that she had welled up inside her. She just knew that it would probably make her cry singing it. She had to sing it though, and honestly, she wanted to let it all out on the table.

She began sadly talking in the beginning:

_(What do you do when you know something's bad for you_

_but you still can't let go?) _She closed her eyes as she finished speaking and began the singing. She had passion oozing out of her voice.

_I was naive, your love was like candy_

_artificially sweet, I was deceived by the wrapping_

_Got caught in your web and I learned how to bleed_

_I was prey in your bed and devoured completely_

Tommy looked at Kwest as Jude continued singing. He knew this song was about him and it sounded as though he took huge advantage of her. When honestly, she took advantage of him the other day. He looked back at Jude as she sang with complete and utter sadness, emotion, and passion in her voice.

_And it hurts my soul cause I can't let go_

_All these walls are caving in, I can't stop my sufferin'_

_I hate to show that I lost control_

_Cause I, I keep going right back _

_To the one thing that I need_

_To walk away from_

_Yeaah..._

_I need to get away from you, need to walk away from you_

_get away, walk away, walk away. . . _

_I should have known that I was used for amusement (for amusement)_

_Couldn't see through the smoke,_

_It was all an illusion_

_Now I've been licking my wounds, (licking my wounds) but the venom seeps deeper _

_(deeper, deeper)_

_We both can seduce, but darlin' you hold me prisoner (prisoner)_

_Oh, I'm about to break, I can't stop this ache_

_I'm addicted to your allure, and I'm fiendin' for a cure_

_Every step I take leads to one mistake_

_I keep going right back to the one thing that I need_

_Oh, I can't mend this torn state I'm in_

_Getting nothing in return, what did I do to deserve_

_The pain of this slow burn_

_And everywhere I turn, _

_I keep going right back to the one thing that I need_

_To walk away from_

_yeahh..._

_I need to get away from you, need to walk away from you _

_Every time I try to grasp for air_

_I am smothered in despair_

_It's never over, over, oh oh. . . _

_Seems I'll never wake from this nightmare,_

_I let out a silent prayer. . . _

_Let it be over, oh. . . _

_Inside I'm screaming, begging, pleading no more (oooh)_

_Now what to do, my heart has been bruised_

_So sad but it's true, each beat reminds me of you_

She sang the last two lyrics with sadness in her voice. She put a hand to her heart and closed her eyes tightly to stop herself from crying.

_It hurts my soul, cause I can't let go_

_All these walls are caving in, I can't stop my sufferin'_

_I hate to show that I've lost control_

_Cause I, I keep going right back to the one thing that I need_

_Oh, I'm about to break, I can't stop this ache_

_I'm addicted to your allure, and I'm fiendin' for a cure_

_Every step I take leads to one mistake_

_I keep going right back to the one thing that I need_

She put both her hands into tight fist as she sang getting louder. She sang beautifully and with passion as she bent her knees, her fists kept getting tighter and tighter.

_Oh, I can't mend this torn state I'm in_

_Getting nothing in return, what did I do to deserve_

_The pain of this slow burn_

_And everywhere I turn, I keep going right back to the one thing that I need_

_To walk away from _She sang the last lyrics slowly and finally unclamped her fist. Her hands hurt from the little cuts they had from her nails, she had her fist to tight, but she didn't care she continued singing

_yeaahh..._

_dying... oooh... _

_i said... _

_need to get away from you, need to walk away from you_

_get away, walk away, walk away _

_(mmm)_

_Only thing I need to do_

_Is walk away from you_

She sang the last lyrics slowly and the song finished out with music. But, though the song finished Jude didn't move, her eyes her were closed and she slowly removed her headphones. She knew if she opened her eyes and looked at Tommy she would start crying.

Kwest looked at Tommy whose face was white. Kwest took his headphones off and went in the booth to Jude's rescue. He grabbed her arms and turned her body to face him.

"Jude?" He spoke softly and slowly, she still had her eyes closed and he knew a meltdown was coming.

Kwest put his arms around Jude pulling her into a hug. She quickly buried her head into his shoulder and out came the river of tears. Kwest put a hand on Jude's head and stroked her hair softly. He looked over at Tommy questioningly as Jude broke down in his arms. She gripped onto his jacket to hold herself up.

Tommy shrugged and sighed sadly as he put his head in his hands. His heart was breaking as he watched Jude cry on Kwest. The last thing he wanted to do was break Jude but that was the only thing he managed to do. Tommy turned around as he heard the door open and someone come in.

"Well, that's a lovely sight. Not everyday you get to see the lovely little Jude crying." Loren smirked as she witnessed the scene before her. She was relishing every moment of it.

Tommy whirled his chair around angrily, "Loren why don't you get out of here, don't you have better things to do? Or some people to do to keep your job?" He didn't like the girl and he couldn't stand how she hurt Jude.

"Yeah, or you could be getting a new wig. This one just doesn't fit the bruise that's still lingering on your face." Jude spoke weakly in the doorway of the booth as she crossed her arms and leaned against the doorway. She looked horrible as her mascara had been running and her eyes were red and puffy. She dared not look at Tommy, her eyes focused on Loren and her new wig she had gotten to cover the bald spot.

Loren turned red in embarrassment; she wanted to bash Jude's face in for what she did to her hair and face. "Oh, shut up! Like you look any better over there crying like a big baby! Anyway, I didn't come in here to talk to you." She pulled out two envelopes and handed one to Tommy. She walked over to where Kwest stood behind Jude and handed him an envelope.

She smirked, "And you guys can bring whoever you like," she paused and looked over at Jude "except for trash. I don't want trash at my party." She quickly turned around and walked out before Jude could say a smart remark.

Jude rolled her eyes and snatched the envelope out of Kwest's hands. She opened it and pulled the small square of paper out of it and read the gold letters. "I can believe she's having a party! Here! After all the trouble she has caused, Georgia should drop her from the label!" She put the invitation down and fled the room.

Jude wiped away at her face with the wet paper as she looked at herself in the G-major bathroom mirror. Why did it seem her life only went from bad to worse? She wiped away at the mascara and rubbed her eyes in an unsuccessful attempt to make it look as though she wasn't crying. Her phone began ringing and she silently began cursing to herself as she saw who was calling.

"Jude, you get home this instant! How dare you be sneaking around with that grown man!" She heard her mother's irritated tone speaking before she could even say hello.

"Mom, before you freak out you have to let me explain!" Jude was growing tired of everyone and everything. Now, she would have to come up with some lame lie to make her mother stop jumping down her throat.

"Well, I'm waiting! This had better be good Jude. I swear if you were sneaking around with him, your own sister's boyfriend! Is that why you two were fighting!" Mrs. Harrison wouldn't even take a breather; she was on a huff and kept spitting out accusations left and right. They were ironically, all right.

Jude sighed, "Mom, stop jumping to conclusions! There is nothing going on between Tommy and I, trust me! It was a stupid misunderstanding. Did you even look at the picture? It wasn't me mom. I mean the girl has red hair and the press jumps to conclusions, kind of like you. I mean come on, you know me! I would never do something like that to Sadie." Jude gave a pretty convincing speech, she surprised even herself. She was becoming better and better at lying.

She heard her mother sigh heavily on the other end. "Well, the picture is pretty fuzzy. I'm just glad to hear that. I'm sorry Jude; I guess I shouldn't have jumped on your back like that. Well, anyway, I have to go hun, I have to call your father and tell him not to go kill Tommy."

Jude was a little disappointed she wouldn't get to see her father try and handle Tommy but she knew her lie was for the best.

Jude sighed heavily annoyed as she walked out of the bathroom. There were people running around all over the place getting ready for the party tonight. She moped around slowly annoyed. She stopped and laughed as she grabbed some of the flower petals off some of the daisies that were on the table. Daisies were Loren's favorite and she knew the place was going to be full of them.

"You know that could easily come out of your paycheck." An annoyed Darius bustled his way over to Jude. Jude quickly dropped her hand letting the flower petals fall on the ground. She knew Darius was angry at her. He loved Loren, even more then he loved Shay. He had discovered her and her cheesy pop ass and instantly became her manager. He still held some hostility towards Jude for never letting him manage her.

Jude rolled her eyes, "they were dying, I didn't do anything wrong. Besides you don't handle my paycheck do you? Matter of fact you don't handle anything of mine, so you know what? Leave me the hell alone!" Jude was fed up and she really didn't feel like being bothered by someone like Darius.

Darius looked like he might blow so Jude did what she knew was best. Jude ran out of there as fast as she could before he could say anything. She made her way home so she could take a nice long bath and maybe get some sleep. She hadn't slept well since the Viper incident with Tommy. She had bags under her eyes but she couldn't help it. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Tommy's face...and it was something she really didn't want to see.

She made her way into her house. She stopped in the doorway of the living room and smiled at Sadie as Sadie patted the seat next to her. "Come on, Jude you look a mess. Come tell me what happened." Jude sighed and went to sit next to Sadie. She reluctantly told Sadie everything that had happened.

Sadie looked at Jude a little guiltily. "Uh Jude...I'm sort of invited to the party...I wasn't going to go but Kwest asked me to go as his date. He wants us to be seen in public as a couple. I'm sorry Jude, it's not like I can say no."

Jude laughed at how worried Sadie was acting. "Don't worry about it Sadie. I understand, you can go and try to have fun at the stupid party. Seriously, I could care less about stupid Loren, and her stupid party." She put her arm around Sadie reassuringly.

Sadie smiled at her, "I have a better idea. How about you come with us as our guest. What's better then crashing Loren's party, right?"

Jude grinned evilly, "I say it's a date! But, I'm so not changing, and I'm not going to do anything crazy, so don't get any ideas Sadie." She thought about Sadie at that party so many years ago when she had been fighting with Eden. She didn't want to repeat that incident again.

Sadie ran upstairs to get ready. She couldn't help but try and dress up to look nice for Kwest. She also couldn't help but wait to see the look on Tommy's face when he finds out that and she and Kwest are a couple. She put on a simple black strapless dress, and some dark blue stilettos. She wore her out and crimped it a little. She had smoky eye make-up and some barely noticeable lipstick. As she walked down the stairs Jude clapped.

"Look at you hot mama! Kwest isn't going to know what hit him!" Jude smiled big as she looked at Sadie, she looked so gorgeous. Sadie grabbed her jacket and purse and they headed outside as they saw Kwest pulling up in his car.

**(Two hours later...)**

Jude moped around in a corner sipping on her drink thinking about what a bad idea it was even coming. She looked over at Loren as she made her way around the party. Jude would have given anything to rip her wig off and continue ripping her hair out some more. Jude was glad at least Kat was on her way.

Loren made her way over to Kwest and Sadie with an evil grin on her face. She didn't notice Jude was there, if she did...maybe she wouldn't have been acting so dumb.

Loren smiled and put her arm on Kwest as she deliberately began flirting with him in front of Sadie.

Sadie looked at her at her angrily. "Look bitch, back off my man. You've already stole one boy friend ho." She looked at Loren, her hostility growing. She could not stand the girl and what she did to Jude.

Loren laughed, "Oh please Sadie, this is me just being friendly. Besides, if I really wanted Kwest I could have him." She smirked as she noticed both Sadie and Kwest's face turn red.

Sadie looked as though she might kill Loren. She gripped onto her drink trying hard not to say anything.

"What's the matter Sadie? Has my beauty got your tongue?" She smirked once again. She loved torturing people especially if they were Jude's family.

Sadie had enough. She threw her cup barely missing Loren and quickly took off her heels. Before anyone could even speak she yanked off Loren's wig and leaped on her. She tackled her to the ground but was quickly flipped over on her back by Loren. Loren began having the upper hand and was slapping Sadie around.

Jude quickly noticing her sister was getting beat up, put her drink down. She quickly wrapped her own hair up and made it over to the fight. She yanked Loren off of Sadie by the arms. Kwest thinking Jude was just stopping the fight didn't intervene. He took a swig of his drink relieved. Just as he was about to swallow, he spit it out full force in shock. Jude had begun punching Loren.

She wasn't stopping the fight...she was joining the fight. Sadie had gotten up and walked over to help Jude. She held Loren from behind as Jude punched her in the face. Loren kicked her legs up in the air at Jude, and she wrapped her arms around Sadie's head. She was trying to pull Sadie's hair, but Sadie kept jerking around.

People stood around watching in shock. You would think someone would jump in it, but they were all afraid. Even Kwest was reluctant; he knew Loren had it coming. As Kat came in she quickly pushed threw the crowd to see who was fighting. As she saw Jude get kicked in the face by Loren, she knew she had to step in. She quickly ran over and started to choke Loren. Loren immediately started to choke her back and they fell on the floor. Sadie fell back with Loren and Kat fighting on top of her. She took the opportunity to covers Loren's eyes so she couldn't see where Jude and Kat began hitting her.

Kwest finally realized he had to step in. He ran over and grabbed onto Kat, who was now doing most of the damage. Cameras flashed all over the place as he tried dragging Kat out. He noticed Tommy running over and picking Jude off of Loren. Tommy dragged Jude outside as Kwest dragged Kat also. Loren didn't move as Sadie still lay under her. Sadie pushed Loren off of her roughly, and patted her dress down as though nothing happened. Cameras continued flashing as Loren lay on the ground.

"Watch what you say, whore! You messed with the wrong bitches!" Sadie put her shoes back on stumbling a little. So, Sadie did happen to be a little drunk but Loren still had it coming. She made her way outside and noticed an angry Tommy yelling.

"Oh, can it Tommy! The bitch had it coming!" Sadie made her way drunkenly to Kwest. She failed to notice her lip and nose were bleeding.

Jude spit out blood as she rubbed her jaw where she was kicked. Her hair was a mess and she had a headache. Not to mention Tommy kept yelling at her, all she wanted to do was punch him.

"You shouldn't have even been here Jude! Do you have any idea how bad the press is going to make this look? Not to mention what Darius will do!" He sighed exasperated with Jude and her behavior.

Kwest walked away with Sadie and Kat prepared to take them home and clean them up. He knew Tommy would get Jude home...after he was done with her.

"Tommy, I'm about to punch you in you fucking face! Do you really think I give a shit what the press will do!" She waved her arms in the air frantically, her voice getting louder.

"Jude, calm down and lower your voice. You know it's important for your career what they say!" He sighed trying to get threw to her and he wasn't sure if it as working.

"GOD! Is that all you ever think about! Reputations and what people think of you! Well, you know what! I loved you Tommy! I don't care who knows it, you fucking coward!" Jude crazily turned to the strangers leaving the party, "I L-O-V-E Tommy Quincy, former Boyz Attack!er. Yep, you heard right! I HEART HIM! I don't just LIKE HIM, I LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, LIKE HIM!"

Tommy was horrified as he saw Jude making a fool of herself in front of all those people; he didn't know what to do. So, he did the only thing he could do. He picked Jude up and quickly carried her to his car before she could protest. He put her in the Viper and quickly shut the door. He ran around to the other side and got in.

He began talking frantically but looked over at Jude when she wasn't responding. Jude muttered his name as she slept on. Tommy sighed and drove the sleeping Jude home.

**

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****Alright, so that's it, crazy I know. You can thank my sister for the fight idea. Yepper doodles! It was originally supposed to be more people in it. But...4 is enough. Anyway, that song was by Christina Aguilera it's called "Walk Away." I bet you think it's this pop mess. But, let me tell you! It is far from that, it's a really great song you should try and hear it if you haven't. Anyways, I own nothing by the way. I forgot to mention that.**

**Until the sun stings!**

**REVIEW!**


	8. When a Bird Leaves its Mark

**Loren! I've run out of things to say about you my dear! I do know this; you better hurry up with that damn Consequences chapter! Yep, you heard right everyone, the story **

**C-O-N-S-E-Q-U-E-N-C-E-S! GO READ IT! IT TOTALLY ROCKS! **

**Okay, now that I have calmed down...You should know...I own nothing!**

**I guess... I shall get on with the story.**

* * *

Chapter Eight: **_When a Bird leaves its mark_**

Jude sat at the G-major conference table tapping her fingers impatiently on her pad of paper. She looked down at the magazines that kept getting thrown in front of her, one by one.

"And this one shows you running around declaring your love." An angry Georgia threw the magazine down hard in front of where Jude sat. "Do you have any idea the mess you caused? Not to mention I have Darius on my ass, Loren is in the hospital, and Tommy has been deemed a pervert!" She slammed a hand down on the table snapping Jude out of her own world.

Jude instantly perked up and looked at Georgia. She never ever saw Georgia angry before. It was a scary sight. "I'm sorry Georgia. I didn't mean for any of this to happen, it just...it did. I'm sorry, I'll do interviews and press conferences and all that other stuff. Just don't stay mad at me."

Georgia sighed heavily, "I'm not mad Jude, I'm disappointed that you would behave this way! It was a boy Jude; I hoped you had more self-respect then this!" She looked at Jude with disappointment as she walked out. Jude instantly felt even guiltier.

Jude looked around at all the faces and it seemed as though everyone felt the same way. Jude looked over at EJ for support. "EJ, come on! Everyone knows she had it coming!"

EJ looked at Jude simpatically, "I know, but darling, the press doesn't know that. All everyone sees is that evil punk-rocker Jude beat up innocent girl-next door pop princess. I'm sorry, but G wants you to do a public apology on T.V. in front of Loren. She also wants you to sing with her. This was all sort of Darius' doing, and you know G finds it hard to say no to him." EJ tapped her pen on her clipboard distractedly as she spoke. She looked at Jude, muttered something, and also left the room.

Jude looked down at her blank paper feeling pissed. She looked around the room again; she stopped when she met Tommy's eyes. She looked at him pleadingly, "please Tommy! They can't make me do it! You have to tell G no!" She got up with both her hands still gripping onto the ends of the table. She looked at him as he was her last lifeline.

Tommy looked away, his mind was somewhere else. The last thing he was thinking about was Jude and her apology. He thought more about Jude's bold declaration of love for him in front of everyone. He knew he had to talk to her about it. "Jude, if you want to keep your job you'll just do the lame apology and song." He spoke with no sympathy and got up to leave the room. He was stopped by Jude standing in front of him.

"If they make me do it...Tommy, I swear I'll quit! I'm serious, right here and now!" She crossed her arms and looked up at him. She didn't look or sound like herself. It was not like Jude to act the way she had been acting.

Tommy put his hands on Jude's shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "Jude, you and I both know you do not want to quit. Just do the apology...for me." He gave her the look. You know the look where you just can't say no. It was the same look he gave her so long ago to get her to apologize to Shay.

Jude smiled at him a little pathetically. No matter what she did, she couldn't say no to Thomas Quincy. "Fine, I'll do it. But, well let's just say it's going down my way." She turned and quickly fled the conference room. She pulled out her cell phone and called Kyle, Wally, and their new lead guitarist Dave. She wanted to practice the song she would be doing. She would be damned if she did a duet with Loren.

Jude finished rehearsing with the guys and decided to head back to the studio. She knew she would have to practice the hideous song they wanted her to sing with Loren. It was some horrible pop song that even had comparisons to daisies in the lyrics. Jude headed her way over to the place she dreaded most. School wasn't really that bad. Everyone was afraid to even dare say anything to her. Her house wasn't that bad considering her mom was never home, or Sadie for that matter. She was headed for the damn studio.

As Jude got out of her car she was bombarded with paparazzi. They were actually camped outside of the studio, it was sick. She had to put her arms up and push threw all of the flashes and screaming questions. One reporter actually had the nerve to ask if she had sex with Tommy, let's just say they got a little extra push. Finally making it inside she wished she was outside.

"It's so nice how much the fans love me, really. Look at all these cards and daises they sent. Oh, I'm loving the death threats they wrote for you. Imma so loved." Loren sat on the G-major couch grinning at Jude. Though, she shouldn't have really been grinning. She had a broken nose, an unnecessary neck brace, two black eyes, a missing tooth (she tried to hide), and of course a new wig. But, all those things weren't what stuck out to Jude...it was Loren's noticeably bigger breast that caught her attention.

"Well, this is a new low! Even for you Loren, you go to the hospital and come back with bigger jugs. Sad, really sad." Jude rolled her eyes and continued walking. She hoped to make it to Studio A without being distracted by Loren furthermore.

Jude saw Loren getting up to come after her. She started to walk a lot faster so she wouldn't have her catch up. She ran into Studio A and slammed the door shut turning the lock so Loren wouldn't be able to get in. She turned around and noticed Tommy staring at her. They were the only ones in the studio. Jude sighed and took a seat in one of the chairs next to him.

"I'm almost afraid to ask what that was about." Tommy rolled his chair closer to hers as he spoke. She looked worn out and tired and he knew he was the cause of some of her sleepless nights.

Jude sighed and put her elbow on the armrest followed by her head in her hand. "I'm exhausted and I just want to go home. The last place I want to be is here in a studio with you. So I admit I rather be in here with you instead of Loren, but still. You're not the greatest person to be around. I mean come on...acting like nothing happened is starting to get old Tommy." She rolled her chair back away from his and looked at the soundboard.

"Jude, you declared in front of a group of strangers that you're in love with me. What do you want me to say? I love you back? Well, I'm sorry, I can't do that." He rolled his chair around to face the soundboard and put his headphones on.

Jude was beyond angry; she almost jumped out of her chair at him. She ripped his headphones off and hit him hard on his side. "I hate you, you know that?" She continued to hit him letting out all her frustrations on him.

Tommy got up from his chair and grabbed her arms trying to stop her. "Jude, calm down! Stop it already!" He tried to stop her from hitting him but she was freaking out.

"Let me go, you coward! You're a COWARD!" She continued jerking around; she was trying to get her arms out of his grasp with no such luck. Tommy moved around trying to hold her arms down and it wasn't working. He pushed her up against the soundboard a little rougher then he meant to. Pressed up against the soundboard she jerked her arms out of his grip and rubbed her wrist. She looked up at him.

"I'm sorry Jude, that was rougher then it should have been. Let me see your wrist." He took her right arm and was looking at her red wrist. Their heads bumped a little due to how close he actually was to her. Not to mention she was still pressed up against the soundboard.

She grabbed her arm back again. "Tommy just get away from me. We both know you don't care. You're sorry, I get it. Now can you just leave me alone?" She looked away miserably and started to count the numbers of buttons on the soundboard.

Tommy took her face in his hands forcing her to look at him. "I tried to tell you once, don't tell me I don't care about you. It's just not..." He was cut off by Jude kissing him a little roughly. As he instantly started to kiss her back she put her hands on his shoulders and jumped up a little so, she was pretty much sitting on the soundboard with his body in between her legs. He started to intensify the kiss as one of Jude's hands pressed down on one of the buttons on the soundboard by accident.

"Time to be Your 21" came on as they continued to kiss (apparently Tommy had been listening to it). Tommy made his way down giving sweet kisses along her neck; she inhaled deeply when his hand crept up her shirt. He went back to kissing her lips as he rubbed his hand slowly up her back. He stopped when he felt her bra. Swept up in the moment he pulled away from her lips for a second and removed her shirt.

Before he could go back to kissing her, Jude quickly removed his shirt as well and eagerly went back to kissing him. His hands gripped onto her hips as he kissed her passionately. Jude wrapped her legs around him as he pressed her up on the soundboard a little more. As the soundboard started to make more noises he lifted her off of it and almost fell on the couch in back of them. Jude straddled him once again and grinned down at him.

"You're not going to leave me hanging this time are you?" Tommy looked up at her as he spoke his hands still gripped onto her hips almost protectively.

Jude smiled, "not a chance Quincy, now shut up." She pushed him back against the couch and held onto his shoulders as she softly kissed below his earlobe like before. She moved her way back up to his lips. He kissed her hungrily as though he were a starved child having his first meal in a long time.

Jude couldn't help but giggle when he moved quickly putting her down on the couch so he was on top of her. As he kissed her he silenced her giggles, she wrapped her arms around his neck as he made a move to un-clip her bra. He started to move down kissing her neck as he tried to un-clip the damn contraption, with no such luck.

They failed to notice or hear someone walk right in on them. "You thought I wouldn't go to the janitor for keys...OH MY!" Loren stopped dead in her skanky tracks and grinned evilly at Tommy and Jude as Tommy jumped off of Jude. "Don't stop on my account! I'm just going to go take a trip to Georgia's office..." Loren took off, walking quickly.

Jude yanked her shirt on and looked at Tommy horrified. "I have to stop her!" Jude got up quickly and started to go out of the door. She had her lipstick smudged around all her face and her shirt was on backwards and inside out.

"Jude, no! No!" Tommy put his own shirt on quickly and ran out after Jude. He knew if he didn't catch up with her quickly... Some serious damage could be caused.

You could hear the distant tap of heels hitting the ground as Loren ran as fast as she could to get to Georgia's office before Jude caught up. She looked in back of her and noticed a little more than crazy Jude running to catch up with her. In the distance you could see Tommy running after Jude, but not as fast. Loren continued heading her way down as fast as she could. Even in heels she was running pretty fast.

Jude didn't even know what to think. All she knew was that she had to stop Loren...and fast. She already wasn't Georgia's most favorite person right now. The last thing Jude needed was her finding out about her making out with Tommy...in the studio. Pretty much for the second time, which would piss her off more.

As Loren continued to run she stopped quickly when she noticed EJ entering with a group of reporters. She guessed they were there to interview Jude, but she stopped and started posing nonetheless. Jude was running closely behind her and didn't notice Loren had stopped. Before either of them could do anything to stop it she smacked right dab hard into Loren sending them both into the fish tank near by. Loren's wig went flying off her head as she flipped over sending the crashing fish tank with her. Naturally, EJ caught the wig and held it up like a pom-pom, but quickly stopped as she realized the reporters were taking pictures of the whole thing. She quickly began trying to usher them out, without much luck.

Jude's first instinct was to get up quickly and try to help the whimpering Loren on the ground. She knew how bad the reporters were going to make this entire thing look. She

walked over to Loren and was going to try and help her up, but Loren stayed on the wet ground backing away from Jude like she was one of her many STD's.

"You, you stay away from me!... My wig!" An embarrassed Loren patted the bald spots on her head looking around frantically for her wig. She knew reporters were taking pictures and she was horrified. She continued to back away from Jude as she looked around the room.

Jude almost felt bad for Loren. She just looked so pathetic on the ground looking around for her wig. EJ turned around and threw the wig back at Jude, so Jude could help Loren put it back on. Jude put her hand without the wig up as a surrender as she approached the frantic Loren. "I'm just trying to help...being friendly..." She slowly approached Loren and tried to put the wig on her.

Loren smacked Jude's hand away and screamed the loudest she could muster when she noticed Georgia and Darius were approaching. "SOMEONE HELP! Jude please don't kill me! I was just trying to leave for I wouldn't have to see you and Tommy continue to have sex in Studio A, where I caught you two!" She actually managed to spit out that all out in one sentence. As Georgia heard what Loren said she stopped dead in her tracks and looked from Tommy to Jude. The signs were obvious, from the messed up clothes to the lipstick still lingering on their faces. Georgia's face turned red.

Jude looked over at Loren as though she might kill her. As she was about to leap on her; Tommy came running up from behind her and grabbed her arm. He knew it was probably the worst idea to run out of there with Jude, but he knew a war was coming. He had to get her out of there, not to mention himself out of there. They walked quickly all the way to his car and finally stopped. He looked over at the breathless Jude. "This is bad, like a bird shitting on your head, bad."

**(The Next Day...)**

Jude woke up to her mother dragging her out of bed by her arms. She rubbed her eyes trying to actually wake up and see what her problem was. From the looks of it was bad in the worst way.

"Jude, wake up! I thought you said you had nothing going on with Tommy! You lie to me, Sadie and your father! How could you Jude? I'm ending this whole thing right here and now! I'm calling Georgia, this is done! This whole game you got going on here...it's over!" She picked up the house phone and started to dial the number to G-major.

Jude leaped at her mother and grabbed the phone hitting the off button. "Mom, you can't do that! Tommy and I are not an item! We have not been sneaking around nor doing anything wrong! I can't believe you would believe reporters instead of me!" She walked backwards and around her mother holding the phone behind her back.

"Jude, give me the phone! Young lady, if you don't give me that phone!" She held out her hand and tapped her foot trying to show Jude she meant business.

Suddenly it hit Jude, she was an adult. She could do whoever and whatever she wanted. "Fine, you want the phone? Take it, I'm an adult I'm my own boss. You don't handle my job for me anymore!" Jude held out the phone and looked at her mother triumphantly.

"That's it! I've had it young lady! As long as you live under this roof...you will not see that ex-boy-band producer of yours again! You hear me!" She stomped her foot as she asked the last part.

"Maybe I don't want to live under this roof anymore! I'm so out of here! I already have another place to live...so, see ya!" She threw the phone at the wall and almost ran out of the room before her mother could stop her. She thought about how ridiculous this whole thing was when she wasn't even really involved with Tommy, though; she would have liked to be.

She grabbed her keys and yelled at Sadie, in the kitchen, to pack up her things for her while she was gone. Poor, clueless Sadie just sat in the kitchen wondering what in the world was going on. As she looked at the newspaper, she instantly understood. Jude ran out of the door and jumped in her car. She knew she probably shouldn't go to the studio, but she had to get ready for the apology.

As she made her way to the studio she tried calling Tommy, but had no such luck reaching him. As she was close to G-Major she decided to turn around and go threw the back entrance due to all the paparazzi that was piled outside waiting for her.

She parked her car, and slowly started making her way into G-Major. As she came in, she heard Loren's voice coming from the conference room. It sounded like the song about the daisies and friendship that Loren was too stupid to write herself.

Jude dreadfully made her way over to the conference room, coming up with a bunch of horrible scenarios they could have done to poor Tommy. As she pushed the door it creaked, causing all eyes to turn and look at her. She felt like she had something offensive on her forehead, as all the eyes burned holes threw her. She looked over at Loren, who was standing in front of everyone, and smiled the most innocent smile she could muster.

"Jude, Jude, Jude, how nice of you to finally join us. I hope you got that speech for Loren about how sorry you are. Matter of fact, you can add a sorry to Tommy and the label on there while your at it." Darius smiled his million-dollar smile at Jude, as she just stood there with a look like she just got smacked.

Jude calmed down as best she could and tried not to blow up; she knew what she was going to do. She just had to survive this part first before she actually got to the good part.

She smiled warmly at Darius and put a thumbs up. "Whatever the label wants, I have." She looked over at Georgia but couldn't read the blank expression on her face. She couldn't bring herself to look at Tommy, though; she could tell he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"I'm so very glad to hear that, Jude! I can't wait to do a song together; I really forgive you for what you did." Loren flashed Jude the fakest smile she had ever seen in her life. The girl couldn't have seriously been trying.

"Oh, will you look at the time! We should go get ready Loren!" Jude blew out of there as fast as she could. She had to admit, she never felt more alone than she just did. She walked over to the G-Major dressing room, type place. There were clothes all over the place that went with Loren; she couldn't find anything that was remotely her style.

EJ came over to the wardrobe and picked out a plain black dress and handed it to Jude.

"That's the best I could do. Just wear that and keep your boots on." She held onto her clipboard and smiled at Jude.

Jude kissed EJ on the cheek and smiled at her. "Thank you, you're finally starting to get my style!" Jude ran off to get ready. As she finished getting dressed, she ran her fingers threw her hair and called it done. She came out and saw the crowd of people around Loren trying to get her ready. She seemed to throw a fit at anyone that tried to take her wig off. Jude sighed and continued walking, without saying anything.

She made her way out of the door and noticed they pretty much had everything set up and the reporters were piling in. Jude had to admit, she was more than a little nervous. She never actually went against her label, as much as she was about to. But, what she was doing was right. Loren deserved everything Jude was about to do.

**(An Hour Later...)**

As Jude was about to take the stage, she knew she had to get rid of her nerves. She shook her hands out and rolled around her neck and looked at Kyle and Wally for support. They smiled at her and gave her the encouragement she needed. Jude headed up the steps and on stage. She stood staring at the fake smiling Loren.

Jude put the mike to her mouth and spoke, "Loren, I'm sorry, I won't be doing a duet with you tonight. I have something better, it's a song I wrote...about you! I think the public really needs to hear it." Jude smiled at her and turned and smiled for the cameras. She didn't see Darius, which was a positive sign. She turned around and nodded her head at her band mates to start playing.

She put the mike to her lips and started singing, with an edge in her voice:

_Perfect by nature _

_Icons of self indulgence _

_Just what we all need _

_More lies about a world that _

_Never was and never will be _

_Have you no shame? Don't you see me? _

Jude moved closer to Loren as she sang. Loren had a horrified look on her face, she looked around to see if Darius was around to save her.

_You know you've got everybody fooled _

_Look here she comes now _

_Bow down and stare in wonder _

Jude bowed at Loren as she sang and looked up at her evilly. The more she sang, the more she realized how true her lyrics actually were.

_Oh how we love you _

_No flaws when you're pretending _

_But now I know she _

_Never was and never will be _

_You don't know how you've betrayed me _

Jude stopped walking around and stopped to look at Loren, as she sang. She wanted her to really hear the lyrics, let it sink in. She wanted it to burn almost. Loren had this little smug look on her face, as though she were proud of what she did. Jude knew the next lyrics would straighten her out.

_And somehow you've got everybody fooled _

_Without the mask, where will you hide? _

Jude snatched off Loren's wig as she sang these lyrics. Almost as if it were the mask she was talking about. Cameras started to flash all over the place as Jude noticed a certain someone watching.

_Can't find yourself lost in your lie _

_I know the truth now _

She saw Speed and knew what she had to do. She sort of jumped off the stage and headed towards him. She took the wig and placed it on his head, gingerly. She smiled and patted him on the head as she headed back for the stage.

_I know who you are _

_And I don't love you anymore _

_It Never was and never will be _

_You don't know how you've betrayed me _

As she was making it backstage the music stopped, and she looked around. Apparently, Darius finally found out what Jude was doing. She looked around and noticed Loren must have run and got him. Jude looked Darius boldly in the eye and put the mike back to her lips.

_And somehow you've got everybody fooled _

She continued singing without the music, staring him right in the face. He actually tried to snatch the mike out of her hands, but she dodged out of the way and he missed her. She continued to back away from him, as she loudly sang the last three lyrics.

_It never was and never will be _

_You're not real and you can't save me _

_Somehow now you're everybody's fool_

She looked around at everyone with a smug look on her face, as she finished out the song. She felt great, like she actually accomplished payback. She looked around and noticed the not so happy faces; she didn't realize so many different people could be mad at her at once. She felt an arm grab her and drag her into the conference room. As she looked up she realized it was Georgia.

"Jude, you really screwed up this time! Do you not care about this label?" A frustrated G rubbed the side of her head and looked at Jude with tired eyes. She really didn't know what else to say to Jude.

Jude sighed, "I cared about it when it had good artists! I've had it G; it's either me or her. I swear I can't work with her here. Please G, you have to do something!" Jude looked at Georgia pleadingly; she just desperately wanted Loren out.

Georgia looked at Jude sadly, as though she wished she hadn't said that. She looked back at Darius and Loren and looked back at Jude. "I'm sorry Jude; you know I have to choose Loren." She looked away as she saw the look on Jude's face.

**

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****Ha, that's it, I know evil place to stop it! Oh well, go review! Please! Yay! Song is by Evanescence, it's called "Everybody's Fool."**

**Until the sun shines and I can no longer sleep.**

**Loren, luv ya!**

**-Belle **

**(REVIEW!)**


	9. It Seems we Slip Back to the Beginning

**I have "Anyone But You" stuck in my head. Not to mention, "Natural Disaster" is still lingering in my mind. Oh, how evil Instant Star is.**

**Anyway, I still luv ya Loren. Go read CONSEQUENCES! It's a hundred times better, trust me!**

**Okay, so I'm going to do something a little...Uh, you guys aren't going to like it. It is what it is. Besides it adds drama.**

**Also, a friend and I were talking about crazy stuff. You got to do crazy stuff so people have to review. Hint, hint.**

**On I go...**

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Chapter Nine: **_It Seems we Slip Back to the Beginning_**

Jude felt her heart drop as she heard that Georgia that actually choosing Loren over her. In an instant sadness was replaced with rage. "Fine, hope you and G-major are happy!" She turned and started walking away. She started to rip down some of the posters with herself on them and spoke once again, "I'm so getting a lawyer!"

Georgia quickly ran up behind Jude, "Jude, you have to understand! I mean, you were out of line!" She walked faster so that she could get in front of Jude.

Jude suddenly stopped walking, "Oh, I was out of line! That SKANK slept with my ex who she knew I was in love with. Not to mention, she pretended to be my friend so she could break him and I up in the first place. Tell me again I was out of line. You're out of line G, here I considered you a second mother! How wrong I was!" She threw the posters on the ground and practically ran out of the back door.

Georgia looked around sadly trying to grasp what she just did. Darius came up behind her and put an arm around her shoulders. "You did the right thing. Just let her go, you got me." He smiled at the easily manipulated Georgia.

Jude walked to her car with tears clouding her vision. She hurriedly was trying to pull her keys out of her bag. She noticed Tommy approaching her from the corner of her eye. She sighed and continued her search.

Tommy put his hand over her arm and stopped her search. "Jude, I'll talk to Georgia. She couldn't have been serious. She's just...It's Darius. I told you he was bad from the beginning." He moved his hand up to her face and wiped away a tear with his thumb. He looked at her reassuringly.

Jude moved back away from his touch. "Tommy, I don't want your help. You're too late! I mean come on, earlier where were you? You left me completely hanging back there. Besides, what are we Tommy? We're not a couple, so; what the hell are we? Just leave me alone. You're better off at G-major with Loren." She put her head back down miserably and went back to searching for her keys. Once she found she pulled them out and tried to unlock the car door. She was having some trouble considering her hand was shaking.

Tommy grabbed her shaking hand and pulled her around to face him. "Jude, what is this? Why are you acting this way? I don't know what we are, what do you want me to say? I mean, don't you see what it would be like if we were together. No one likes it! It's just...It's not worth it. I'm sorry, just don't leave G-major. Don't let it end up this way!"

He looked at her pleadingly noticing he wasn't getting much of a response.

Jude let out a little whimper as she grabbed her hand back. She wiped her face and looked at him as though she didn't know who she was looking at. "Are you kidding me? You did not just say that! I'm going to pretend we never had this conversation, because seriously I can't even believe it! I just, I feel so stupid. I've been alone all along and I could never see it. Thanks, thanks for clearing it up Tom." She finally managed to unlock her door and jumped in. She looked at Tommy miserably as she pulled away.

As she pulled up to the Harrison household, she was more than a little bit nervous. She hoped more than anything that her mother wasn't home. She had no choice but to come back, she had to get her things from Sadie. She got out of her car and made it to the front door. As she unlocked the door she took a deep breath and looked around the house. The coast was clear; there was no Mama Harrison around.

"Sadie, I'm home. Did you pack my stuff?" She called upstairs and looked around. She stopped walking when she heard Sadie running down the stairs. She smiled at her when she noticed she had a huge suitcase packed with most of her stuff. She kissed Sadie on the cheek, "You're the only thing I'm going to miss about this place."

Sadie looked at her with concern, "Where in the world are you going to go? I mean Kat is going to New York, and Jamie still lives with his Nana. I'm worried Jude."

"You worry too much! Just know that I'm going to be fine. I love you." Jude pulled Sadie into a tight hug. "It's not like I'm leaving the world." She kissed Sadie on the cheek again and walked out. She felt like crying all over again, she headed for her car. She, in reality, had no where to go. She was just going to sort of going to wing it. She was probably going to sleep in her car tonight.

As she was sort of driving around in circles, tears still adorning her face she thought about the studio space, and the moldy couch. It was better than her car so she decided to go spend the night there. She pulled up to the place and felt uneasy. She had no other choice it was that or her car.

She got out of her car and made it to the door with ease. She was relieved, for some reason she expected crazy people to be hanging around there. As she opened the door and walked in she jumped back as she saw a figure already in the place.

"Harrison, what are you doing here? Come to put more wigs on me? Better yet, are you here to spank me? Oh, how I hope so." She saw Speed get up from his comfy spot on the couch and approach her with a sly grin. He wiped the grin off his face when he noticed she had been crying and she had a suitcase.

"Don't get your hopes up. Though, you might be glad to know...I'm homeless I had no where else to go. Are you happy? This is all your little girlfriend's doing." She slammed her suitcase down miserably and walked into the place more.

Speed looked at her guiltily, "I'm sorry Dude...I didn't know she would get you fired. It shouldn't have worked out this way. She's not my girlfriend; I wasn't feeling the whole silicon thing." He walked closer to Jude and titled his head to the side.

Jude smiled weakly, "Oh, how nice everything worked out for you. That's great, now can you just leave? You have a home, besides, why are you here? You're not part of the band anymore; this spot is for Judermen Mind Fiasco members only." She hit him on the forehead as she looked up at him. For some reason he was making her feel better and she didn't know why.

Speed stepped back and rubbed his forehead. "Ow, that hurt. Have you been working out? Better stop, don't want man muscles." He looked at her his expression changing and turning serious for once. "Everything didn't work out for me..."

"Oh, really, why is that?" Jude crossed her arms as she sat down on the moldy couch. She looked up at him and was freaked out by how serious he was acting.

Speed paced around a little strangely. He started to fiddle his fingers as he looked back at Jude. He went over and kneeled down in front of her. "Everything didn't work out. I'm not in the band and...I screwed us up. You screwed us up, we screwed us up. It's all screwed up, Dude." He grabbed her hands and looked up at her.

Jude looked down at him in shock and didn't know what to say. It was as if all her anger towards him started to wash away. Tommy slowly started to drift from her mind. Here he was, the Speed she knew and liked. She smiled down at him.

Once he knew it was safe, he hesitantly put a hand up to her face and wiped her cheeks where the previous tears were. "See Dude, I mean Jude. I'm not that bad, Harrison. We both screwed up. I blame those aliens we were previously kidnapped by." He grinned up at her stupidly.

Jude laughed, and leaned into his hand. She felt so alone but Speed was making it a little better. She needed this, someone there. She was sick of Tommy and how he always pulled away. She needed someone safe...Someone stable...Someone named Speiderman, or Vincent would work.

Speed put his hands on her knees and leaned up to kiss her. She kissed him back sweetly. But pulled away, she wasn't completely sure about everything. He could see her pull back and he got up. "Dude, if you want Tommy its cool." She could tell he didn't actually thing it would be "cool." She thought about how Tommy could never let go of his fear of his reputation and smiled at Speed.

"No, I want you...Dude." She got up and kissed him this time and with a little more gusto. She had to admit to herself, she missed him. But...He was no Tommy. Speed pulled away.

"You are so not staying here, Dude. The rats would like eat you alive in this place if you tried to sleep here." He grabbed her hand and walked over and picked up her suitcase. He continued leading her out of the door.

"Speed, where are we going? It's my car; I'm not letting you drive." She continued to yell at him but he wouldn't tell her. He finally stopped walking when he got to her car. He stopped and turned to look at her.

"We are going to my house. We both know my parents are never home. You can stay there for a while. Don't worry Harrison; it doesn't have rats like this place." He put his hand on her head and shook up her hair.

Jude slapped his hand away, "But it has you there, Mr. Pervert supreme!" She laughed as she pulled out her keys and started to unlock the car. As they made it back to his place, they more than made up.

**(Next Morning...)**

Jude woke up and had a heavy feeling over her face. She tried to open her eyes and realized she had Speed's heavy arm on her face. She pushed him off of her lightly and looked over at his sleeping figure. His face was buried in the pillow and she could tell he drooled a little. She looked at the clock on the nightstand and noticed it was 10am. She got out of bed and pulled her toothbrush out of the suitcase, so she wouldn't have to use Speed's again. She did her daily routines and got dressed. She looked in the mirror at the outfit she chose. It was a light green t-shirt with her denim skirt, the black pant things under it, and her boots. Her outfits never really changed much, but that was what she liked about her style.

She came out of the bathroom and looked over at the still sleeping Speed. As she looked at him she felt guilty, she thought about when she declared that she loved Tommy. She couldn't really just pretend she didn't feel the way she felt. She sat down in his more than old beanbag, and stared at him as she got lost in thought.

Speed shook his head as he woke up. He wiped his mouth and looked over at Jude. "Okay the whole watching me while I sleep, its freaky Dude." He sat up and noticed the concern on her face. "Oh great, let me guess...I didn't satisfy you enough last night. Is the Speedster not enough for ya?" He watched and noticed the concern quickly wash off her face.

She stood up and shook her head a little, "Nah, it wasn't that. The Speedster's enough, I must confess. But, could you hurry up and get ready? I need to stop by the studio; I would like it if you came." She knew there was a risk they would run into Loren but it was risk she was willing to take.

As they neared the studio she felt nervousness take her over once again. As she walked holding Speed's hand, she felt him squeeze it a little for support. She smiled over at him, she liked that he was starting to get her. As she walked in boldly, she stopped as she noticed all the changes that were happening. It didn't seem like G-major anymore. Georgia was letting Darius have total control. Jude walked around confused trying to figure out what was going on. She saw Georgia approaching them from the corner of her eye.

"Jude, I'm glad you came back. We really need to talk." She could see Georgia's eyes go down to where she held Speed's hand and a questioning look came upon Georgia's face. "So, you two made up? I'm happy for you." She looked at Jude; she could tell Jude was less then happy.

"Georgia, I just came here to get the releasing forms, or whatever it is I have to get. I don't want to talk about boys with you. I'm done with you and G-major. Just drop me from the label, so we can make this quick, and painless." Jude looked away angrily; she still couldn't believe would Georgia had done.

"Jude, honey, I'm sorry. You made it so I had no choice! How could I drop Loren her...Her record sales have been higher since what the media has been printing. I'm sorry, Jude. People didn't like what you were doing!" She looked at Jude sadly, she was worn and tired.

Jude sighed, "That's nice to know, now can I get the forms?" She looked around impatiently wanting to get out of there, fast. The last thing she wanted was to see Tommy. She didn't want him to know she was back with Speed, for some weird reason.

Georgia sighed sadly, "Fine, come on, there in my office." She started to walk with Jude and Speed closely behind her. She turned the knob an opened the door. Once the door was open, Georgia let out the biggest scream ever to be heard in the walls of G-major.

Jude hurried up behind her into the room, she screamed also when she saw what Georgia was looking at. There stood Darius zipping his pants back up...Behind him stood a disheveled Loren trying to fix her clothes back up quickly. Georgia's desk was in a shamble, papers were everywhere. Georgia pushed back Jude and walked out of the room in tears. She was beside herself she didn't know what to do.

Darius walked after Georgia, she turned around to face him. "How could you do this to me! In my office? She's 20 Darius! What the hell is the matter with you?" She threw her hands up in the air as she asked him the questions. Tears streamed down her face and Jude just could not figure out why she was so upset.

Darius tried to grab Georgia's hand but she yanked them away. "I listened to you! You said you loved me! Oh, I feel so stupid! I actually was about to drop my best artist for you! Get out of here, you and Loren you're both done! GET OUT!"

Jude surveyed the red Georgia and she couldn't believe what she just said. Georgia and Darius were involved all along. It explained a lot, it really helped explain why she couldn't say no to him. She couldn't believe that she would choose Darius over her. She looked over at Loren. She had the stupid look of no remorse on her face. It pissed Jude off highly. She looked over at Speed and noticed that he looked disgusted at Loren. It made her feel just a tad bit better.

"Please G, no! Don't drop me from the label! He made me do it; he said if I wanted to keep my job I would do it!" Loren looked at Georgia pleadingly.

Georgia looked at Loren with no remorse, "Oh please, Jude was right...Pardon my language everyone...But you are a SKANK Loren! Get out of my label." Georgia actually ripped her wig off and held it out to Darius. "Here, you always wanted some hair." She threw it at him and walked over to the conference room. She slammed the door shut. EJ ran in to make her feel better.

Jude was in shock she didn't even know what to think about the scene she had just witnessed before her. She looked over at Speed and noticed he was coiled over laughing at Loren's bald spots. He was even pointing, she couldn't help but laugh. Loren ran out of the label bumping Tommy on the way out. Jude stopped laughing as she noticed him watching her. She quickly grabbed Speed's hand and told him they should leave. Tommy walked over.

"Jude, can we talk please." He couldn't take his eyes off of Jude's hand holding onto Speed's. "Can we talk, now?" He looked at her seriously.

Jude shook her head, "Go ahead, speak." She smiled at him and squeezed Speed's hand a little, letting him know everything was alright.

Tommy narrowed his eyes at her, "I was hoping we could speak in private. Just you and me, in Studio...uh B." He knew it was a bad idea if they ever went near Studio A after what happened.

Jude sighed, "Fine, but you better make this quick." She let go of Speed's hand and looked over at him. "I'll be right back." She kissed him lightly on the lips and followed behind Tommy.

Jude walked in and leaned against the door as she looked at Tommy. She had a feeling is wasn't going to be a good talk. "What do you want?"

Tommy sighed and rubbed his temple. "Jude, why are you back with him? He was going to have sex with you bestfriend for God's sake. I think I should be concerned here." He closed his eyes, frustrated with the look she was giving him.

Jude put her arms in the air and slammed them back down to her sides. "Are you kidding me? It's not even your place to be concerned; you're not my boyfriend or my father. Why should you care? Besides, I'm no better then he is. I cheated first, remember? It was your fault by the way." She crossed her arms as she looked at him.

Tommy got up and touched her arms, "Jude, I care about you a lot and I don't want to see you get hurt, again. The kid's bad news. I mean if you kissed me back, it's obviously because it's something missing." He titled his head down to see her face better.

Jude pushed him away from her hard. "Shut up, you're so full of it! Do you listen to yourself, honestly? You're stupid Tommy!" She held onto the door knob tightly contemplating on whether she should leave or not.

Tommy looked at her pleadingly, "Answer me one question. When you're with him, who do you think of?"

Jude looked at him with wide eyes, "Did you seriously just ask me that? What, so now you want me because I'm with him? You sure are something. You only want me because Sadie finally left your sorry ass and I'm back with Speed. Well...You can't have me. You know every time I do want you have some excuse. This reminds me of a song I wrote about you. It's quite funny really, want to hear it? Good." She walked over and picked up the guitar in the studio.

She began playing a beat, anything thing that came to mind and began singing:

_No, don't try to apologize_

_Don't play the game of persistence_

_Excuses existed before you did_

_No, don't look at me like before,_

_Don't talk in plural_

_Rhetoric is your most lethal weapon_

_I'm going to ask you to never come back again_

_I feel that you still can hurt me, here,_

_Inside _

She looked down at her guitar and continued playing without looking up at him.

_And that at your age you already know well_

_What its like to break someone's heart like this_

_No, one can't live with so much venom_

_The hope your love gave me_

_No one else has given me_

_I swear_

_No, one can't die with so much venom_

_One shouldn't devote the soul_

_To collecting attempts_

_Rage weighs more than cement_

_I hope that you don't expect that I'll wait for you_

_After turning eighteen_

_Patience has sunk all the way down to my feet_

_So here I pluck daisy petals _She didn't really like this lyric anymore, it had stupid daisies in it.

_While I'm looking without seeing_

_To find out if you'll get irritated and leave_

She liked the message the song was radiating. She never noticed it before. He always did leave when she was actually trying to start something with him.

_I'm going to ask you not to come back ever again_

_I regret that you still can hurt me, here,_

_Inside_

_And that at your age you already know well_

_What is like to break someone's heart like this_

_No, one can't live with so much venom_

_The hope your love gave me_

_No one else has given me_

_I swear_

_No, one can't die with so much venom_

_One shouldn't devote the soul_

_To collecting attempts_

_Rage weighs more than cement_

She finished out the song hitting a few more chords on her guitar; after she was done she looked up at him. She could see the guilt in his eyes. "I hope you got that. Leave Tommy; just do us all a favor. Don't come back." She put the guitar down and brushed past him out the door.

**

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****Ha! Evil me! I'm so wrong; I actually put Jude with Speed...Again! You guys better review . I actually feel sorry for Tommy. Ah...**

**Until the sun shines and I can write the way it should be!**

**By the way, the song was by Shakira. It's actually one of her Spanish songs. I had to translate the lyrics, so yeah. That's why it's a little strange. I also had to change it around to make it fit a bit more. Anyway, it's called "No."**

**Loren, still luv ya!**

**-Belle**


	10. I know, Just keepin' Ya on Your Toes

**Loren is evil. She takes forever on Consequences, and now is a distraction. By the way, that new chapter blew my mind. I'm like on another planet now!**

**What shall I do? Absolutely nothing! Go read it! You know I feel like a commercial for the story... CONSEQUENCES! I COMMAND YOU TO READ IT! Horses pull up, the men kidnap the guy. Forces him to read Consequences. The world is happy.**

**End of commercials.**

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Chapter Ten: **_I know, just keepin' ya on your toes- The real Loren_** Hehe!

"Dude, we got to go back to the studio one day. Kyle and Wally think we're dead. Georgia keeps calling; I think they know we didn't get kidnapped." Speed looked over at Jude nibbling on her pop-tart.

Jude put the pop-tart down, and sighed, "I know, I just was trying to avoid it. It's been strange you know?" She pushed her hair out of her face.

"Harrison, you know you want to sing. Singing in the shower doesn't count. Yep, I heard you. You wouldn't even know it was you, Dude! It sounded like cats were dying." He made a face remembering how she sounded.

"Oh, whatever!" Jude threw a piece of pop-tart at him. "Come on, let's go." She got up and put her jacket on. She hadn't been to the studio in days; she had to admit she was nervous. So many bad things had taken place there.

As they walked into the studio they noticed it was chaotic. Loren was practically running after Georgia begging her not to drop her from the label. She didn't even bother putting a wig on. She did a poor job brushing over the bald spots.

Loren stopped as she really noticed Speed with Jude. "Oh, you got to be kidding! Speed you're back with her? She was going to have sex with Tommy! Yep, I saw the whole thing." She walked over to Speed, she noticed Georgia had finally stopped walking and turned to look at her.

Jude rolled her eyes and bit her tongue. She looked over at Speed; she could tell he was uncomfortable. "You tramp, you were about to shack it up with Darius! You're a dirty whore."

Speed laughed, "Yeah, I mean come on. That's just sick, Dude! No offense G." Speed laughed looking at Loren. "Nice brush over the bald spots."

Loren touched her head; she turned and frowned at Jude. "You know, I been taking boxing classes! I could take you out!" She put her hands up in a poor attempt at fist.

Jude laughed this time, "I'd like to see you try!" She was ready for anything Loren would try and do. She was just looking for any excuse to hit her again. She always wanted to finish yanking her hair out. She wouldn't let anything stop her this time. She noticed Georgia coming closer; she knew she could still take Loren...until she noticed Tommy. _Great, just what I need to see, his overly cocky ass coming over here._

"Loren, I told you to get out of here! Tommy, call security. Miss Prettle here won't leave when I told her to." Georgia made her way over to the group. She looked over at Tommy waiting for him to go pick up the phone and call security.

"I didn't even know we had security." Tommy walked over to the phone nearby and hit the number 5 like Georgia told him to.

Loren looked around frantically, "You can't fire me G, please! Where's Darius, how could you forgive him and not me? Please!" Loren was jumping in place in her heels for emphasis.

Jude looked over at Georgia in disbelief. She couldn't believe she actually had forgiven Darius; it had only been like a week. "G, you actually forgave the dog?"

Georgia frowned ignoring Loren, "Oh, don't give me that. You forgave Vincent." She looked back at Loren as the old security guy was approaching her; slowly he was trying to calm her down.

Speed squirmed at hearing Georgia mention his first name. He looked over at Jude and noticed she kept staring at Tommy. He leaned over and began talking in her ear, "Dude, is there something is his teeth, or something?" He looked at the direction she was previously looking at.

Jude looked at him nervously, "No, I was just thinking. I wasn't even looking at him." She turned her attention at Loren running out of G-major, she began laughing.

"Jude, we should probably try to get some work done around here." Tommy looked at Jude with an irritated expression on his face. He was sick of how she always had Speed around with her.

Jude exchanged an equally annoyed look back at him. "Tommy, I just got back, and who says I want to even work here?" She looked over at Georgia who was also looking right at her.

"Jude honey, please don't quit. I was just having poor judgment at the time. I promise Darius knows his place this time." She looked over at his figure talking with EJ. "He knows who is boss." She laughed with Jude.

Jude sighed, "I suppose I should get back to work." She looked back at Speed and saw he was going over to talk to Kyle and Wally. She looked back at Tommy, she was dreading this moment. She really didn't want to go in the studio with him. She hoped Kwest would at least be there to supervise. She followed Tommy to Studio B.

As they walked in she was thankful to see Kwest sitting there. He looked happier then usual and she knew it was because of Sadie. "You look happy Kwest. Is it because of a certain someone?" She laughed at him knowing the answer. She could tell Tommy was uncomfortable.

"I thought we came in here to work. If you two are going to waste my time...Let me know so that I can get out of here." Tommy said down putting his headphones on. It was clear to both of them Tommy wasn't the happiest person right now.

Kwest looked over at Jude and winked at her. She could tell both Kwest and Sadie had been on cloud nine. She had to admit she was more than happy for them. She knew they were really good together. He always made Sadie smile, and after being in a relationship with Tommy it was a breath of fresh air. As Jude walked into the booth she looked over at Tommy and suddenly felt herself close up, she didn't feel like recording. She looked over at Kwest, the music kept playing but she didn't start singing.

"Jude, come on...Sing already." Tommy looked over at her impatiently. As his phone rang he took his headphones and swung his chair around, his back was to her. Jude finished recording her song while Tommy didn't pay attention the whole time. It seemed as though the recording took forever, but Tommy was still on his damn phone.

Jude took her headphones off a little roughly, and walked out of the booth. She looked over at Kwest. "I can't work today. This...This just isn't working!" She looked over at Tommy still talking on his phone in frustration.

Kwest nodded his head in agreement, "Alright, how about we go get lunch..." he looked over at Tommy. "Without Mr. Party-pooper, over there." He got up and was about to usher Jude out quietly...

"YOU! Jude, I'm calling you out! Your a little whore and I don't like you!" Loren stood in the doorway of the studio looking a little more than drunk. She looked crazy as she approached Jude shoving her the hardest she could muster. _Great, she's gone for like an hour and comes back drunk!_

Jude stumbled back landing on Tommy's lap. She looked up at him with a horrified expression on her face. He had dropped his phone and was looking down at Jude. She quickly got up stumbling a little and looked at Loren.

"You bitch, fine have it your way!" She made her way over at Loren and grabbed onto her hair. They spun around a little as they held onto each others hair, screaming and struggling.

Loren let go of Jude's hair and punched her in the jaw. Jude stumbled back again and touched her face. Loren had a satisfied look on her face. "Yes, that Taebo is working!" She charged her way back at Jude and threw an extremely hard punch. Much to her dismay Tommy had stepped in the way right at the wrong moment. He stepped back and touched his cheek. He looked over at Kwest laughing at him.

Jude finally managed to get up and charged at Loren, she tackled her to the ground and got on top of her. She started to punch her in the face with one hand, and held onto her hair with the other.

Tommy looked at Kwest in anger, "I'm so not breaking that up!" Kwest laughed in amusement at Tommy.

"Don't look at me; I'm not breaking it up either!" Kwest stepped back from the rolling Jude and Loren as they continued to rip each others hair out. As they finally managed to get off the ground Loren pushed Jude into the soundboard just as Kwest moved out of the way in a hurry. Jude came with a vengeance as she grabbed Loren's hair so hard it made her head fall back. Loren screamed as she began experiencing whiplash. Loren put her hands up in an attempt to scratch Jude's face, but, Darius came crashing in and pulled them apart by the arms. He looked at both of them angrily.

As Loren continued trying to kick Jude he looked at her crazily, "STOP!" As soon as he yelled it, both Jude and Loren just stood staring at each other in hatred. Tommy's face began turning red and Darius looked over at him. "Want some ice?" Kwest began laughing as Tommy's face expression showed he was irritated.

"No, I don't want any ice!" He looked over at Loren as he was about to leave the room, "Jude kicked your ass." As he left the room with Kwest, Jude was stuck sitting in a seat across from Loren. They stared at each as Darius went to get Georgia. She felt like she was at school getting in trouble for fighting.

Loren inhaled deeply as she stared at Jude with hatred, "Why do you want him?" She looked up at Jude as she asked the question.

Jude turned her attention as she spoke, "What are you talking about, stupid? Speed? Why do I want Speed; what type of question is that? I should be asking you that question, skank." Jude rolled her chair so that she wouldn't have to look at Loren.

Loren sighed as her nose and lip continued to bleed. "You have Tommy, why don't you just leave Speed alone? You don't even want him! You call me the skank, I don't go with guys that I don't even want. That's what prostitutes do, but at least they're smart enough to get paid for it!" Her chair moved back a little as she stomped her heels on the ground.

Jude jumped out of her chair and made her way over to Loren. She stopped as she stood over her, "You know what? I would kick your ass again, but I don't feel like going to jail." She looked at the door as Georgia came rushing in.

"Jude, step away from the blonde!" She came over to the two and examined them. They both looked worn out and beaten. She just didn't know what else to do. She was definitely going to drop Loren from the label.

"Loren, I don't know what I have to say to make you get it! Do not come back to this label! Just follow me to my office where I have the releasing forms for you. Jude, go home you look exhausted." Georgia crossed her arms as Loren began pleading with her.

Jude left the room and was more than tired. She just wanted to bash Loren's face in some more. She knew that she would at least me going home to see Speed; she knew he would make her feel better. He had begun doing an amazing impersonation of Loren. It cracked her up every time.

As she was in her car driving over to Speed's place, her phone rang. As she answered it she had an odd conversation with Speed, and he told her to meet him at the studio space. She quickly got out of her car and headed inside so that she and Speed could continue writing the song they were working on.

As she came in she could tell something was different. Things were thrown all over the place and she saw Speed sitting on the floor strumming his guitar smiling at Jude. He got up without saying anything and made his way over to her. He grabbed her hands and swung her around. She could smell alcohol on his breath. She remembered that Loren had been drunk as well, she thought it was strange. She snatched her hands back.

"Speed, you're drunk! What the hell?" She crossed her arms as she looked over at him. He had begun laughing hysterically as he looked at Jude. He walked over to her and put his arms around her waist.

"Don't be mad honey bunch! The Speedster's here, he'll make it all better!" He began kissing her neck as Jude uncrossed her arms and tried to push him off. She couldn't help but laugh a little at the way he was acting. He started to stumble backwards pulling her with him.

Jude oddly stopped fighting him and started to giggle. He tickled her side as he fell back on the couch. He began whispering stupid stuff in her ear, he was stuttering. He continued to say things about the great Speedster. He sort of pushed Jude on the couch as he leaned over top of her, his hand crept up her shirt as he kissed her neck. Jude laughed at how dumb he was acting. She grabbed his hand and told him to stop.

Tommy came in threw the door and stopped in rage as he saw Jude and Speed. He ran over and grabbed Speed off of Jude by the collar. It was a little rough as the drunken Speed fell back into the wall. "Jude, are you alright?" He walked over to Jude and held her face as he examined her.

Jude pushed Tommy away from her and kneeled over where Speed sat. She looked over at Tommy, "Of course I'm alright! He's my boyfriend, Tommy! He's drunk, but he wasn't doing anything wrong."

Speed laughed pointing at Tommy, "Sheesh my girlfriend, Dude. What did you think we did together? We does everything, sheesh living with me man! We rock the sheets at night." Speed fell over laughing.

Jude looked at Tommy as his eyes grew wide. "What! You're living with him?" Tommy paced around the room as he processed everything that he just found out. Not only was Jude living with him, she was doing _things_ with him.

Jude bit her lip as she got up and walked towards him. "I had to go some where. My mom threatened to get me another producer...So, I left." She looked at Tommy as he continued to pace around.

"You could have come to me!" He looked at Jude and walked out of the place in a huff.

Jude sighed as she made her way over to Speed. She helped him up and ushered him to her car. She drove to his house.

**(Next Morning...)**

Jude knew it was extremely early as she rolled off of Speed's couch. She got off the floor and made her way over to the bathroom. She did her daily routines and looked at the clock. It read 9am and she knew she wanted to go to the studio and talk to Tommy. She knew she shouldn't but she felt horrible about last night. She ate her breakfast quietly as she knew Speed wouldn't be waking up soon. She knew he was going to have a huge headache, but he deserved it.

Jude walked into G-major quickly as she sipped on her coffee. She was glad as she looked around and noticed all of the daisies and Loren posters were officially gone. She looked around to see if she saw Tommy, but couldn't find him any where. She knew it was still early so he might not have been in yet. She noticed EJ get off her cell phone, so Jude walked over to the angry EJ.

"Hey EJ, what's wrong?" Jude took another sip as she surveyed EJ. She could tell she was oddly uncomfortable and she kept shifting around.

EJ looked at Jude with sympathy, "Oh nothing, really don't worry about it." She gripped onto her clipboard that seemed to have magazines behind them. Jude made a move to grab them but EJ stumbled back. "Jude, I have to go!" She ran away so fast Jude didn't even have time to blink.

Jude looked around trying to figure out what the hell was going on. She looked towards the door and noticed Tommy entering a little earlier than usual. She quickly made her way over to him.

Tommy couldn't bring himself to look at Jude. She wasn't the same girl anymore. He knew she wasn't _innocent _anymore and it was killing him. As he saw her approaching him he made his way to dodge her, he sort of just stumbled into Studio C.

Jude was upset and angry that he would try to avoid her. She followed him into Studio C and shut the door. "You can't avoid me forever, Quincy. Unfortunately we work together. You have to see me."

Tommy sighed as he stood in the junk of a studio. He looked over at Jude, he knew he was going to have to except she wasn't sixteen anymore. "Fine, but there is nothing to talk about. I'm just your producer, nothing more." She could tell he didn't mean a word he just said.

Jude crossed her arms as she looked at him. "You're exactly right. You are just my producer, so what I do outside of work...It shouldn't bother you." She leaned against the door as she spoke.

Tommy moved closer to her without saying anything. He moved so close their foreheads were touching. He just looked at her as they breathed in each others air. Jude could barely breathe as Tommy was so close to her. He finally spoke in a whisper, "But, it does bother me." He put his hands on her face as their foreheads still touched. He leaned into kiss her but Jude jerked her head away. He put his hands down and turned his back to her.

Jude felt tears coming to her eyes. Here she was, torn between what she should do. The last thing she wanted to do was cheat on Speed, but Tommy wanted her. He actually wanted her, and she wanted him back. "Tommy..." She stopped herself before she said something she would regret.

Tommy turned around and grabbed her face again. He kissed her with passion and yearning as they fell back on the door a little. Jude pulled on his shirt as Tommy continued to kiss her. She knew it was wrong, but she couldn't bring herself to stop. Tommy made his way down to her to her waist, and his hands went under her shirt. His hands felt her bare stomach as he continued to kiss her. Jude felt tears coming out as she continued to kiss him. It was a rush of emotion coming out of her and she didn't know what to do. She held onto his shirt, but she continued to fall into him. Tommy gripped on to her hips and did his best to hold her up as she fell against him.

Jude felt the tears come down as she pulled away. "Tommy, we can't! I have a boyfriend now." She wiped her mouth as she looked down at the floor.

Tommy sighed, "Oh, right I had forgot that part." He put his hand under her chin forcing her to look at him. "That's not why you pulled away." He moved closer to her again as he spoke.

Jude moved back and stumbled falling back against the door. "You're right. Tommy...Do you love me?" She didn't know what in the world possessed Jude to open her mouth and actually ask him that, but it just slipped out. Deep down she just had to know the truth.

Tommy looked at her with wide eyes. He didn't know what to say, he didn't think she was going to ask him that. He wasn't ready for her to ask him questions like that. He put a hand up to the back of his neck and shrugged. He looked at the ground awkwardly. "Jude, I...I care about you a lot." He knew that was the wrong answer.

Jude looked at him in disbelief, "That's not what I asked. But, I guess I can conclude the answer! Thanks so much for the clarification. I won't bother you anymore, Quincy. I think its best I get a new producer." She turned to leave the room but Tommy grabbed her arm.

"Jude, don't get a new producer. You and I, we make great music. It's what we do, don't be childish. Don't let this ruin that." He held onto her arm as he looked at her seriously.

Jude snatched her arm out of his grip and looked at him a little crazily. "Tommy, if I never saw you again, it would make me a happy woman." She walked out of Studio C and slammed the door shut. She held the door knob with both hands as she felt him trying to open the door. She noticed Kwest watching her and she quickly let go of the door knob. She walked over to him and practically dragged him to Studio A.

Three hours later she had finally finished her song. She looked over at Kwest proudly. "I'm done, I finally finished it! It's quite good; I don't need much background music. I can just use my guitar. I want to record." She looked over at Kwest excited.

Kwest looked up from where he sat. He had practically fallen asleep. He would have helped Jude write the song, but he wasn't much of a song writer. He also knew Jude was probably writing about Tommy. He knew there was something up between them; he just didn't know exactly what it was. "Great, let me hear it."

Jude grabbed her guitar that was by her, and got in a comfortable position on the couch. She threw the pad of paper on the floor in front of her, so that she could look down at the lyrics in case she needed to. She put her guitar strap over her and smiled at Kwest.

She began playing slowly as she looked down at the lyrics and began the singing:

_That's enough already of your games  
_

_'Cause I'm not some toy  
_

_This isn't fair  
_

_'Cause I'm not here to serve you  
_

_You think it's easy to play with my love  
_

_But very soon, I'm going to put you in your place _

As she began the chorus, she sped up the beat a little and strummed her guitar with ease. She tilted her head down as she looked at the lyrics. Kwest moved his head a little to the beat; he knew this song was definitely about Tommy.

_You shouldn't play with my love  
_

_You shouldn't play with my affections  
_

_If you love me, or not, just tell me already  
_

_So that I can go on with my life _

You know I love you

Jude was singing beautifully, she sang with so much passion and truth in her voice. Kwest could tell she had really matured as a woman and an artist. He was proud of her and the transition she was making.

_And as for me, I've given everything  
_

_I'm not a puppet  
_

_that you move around whenever you want  
_

_You think that everything depends on  
_

_whether you say yes or no  
_

_But, what will you say when I tell you goodbye? _

Every thing she was saying in her lyrics she meant. She was sick of Tommy and his games. If he continued to play them, she was really going to make Kwest her permanent producer.

_You shouldn't play with my love  
_

_You shouldn't play with my affections  
_

_If you love me, or not, just tell me already  
_

_So that I can go on with my life_

As she finished out the last line, the door opened. She looked up and noticed it was Tommy. She could tell something was up by the way he was acting. He came into the room and looked over at Jude; he then looked over at Kwest. He walked over to Jude with something in his hand. It looked like a magazine. Jude snatched it out of his hand and look at it.

Her heart sunk as she looked at the cover.

**

* * *

****Ha-ha! Evil place to stop! I am so wrong. It was just so tempting to stop here though. I mean 10 pages is enough.**

**Anyway, the song is by Selena. Yes, another Spanish song. I had to translate and take stuff out. But, I think it came out good. She was an amazing singer; I had to give it up for her.**

**The song is called, "No Debes Jugar." It means, "You Shouldn't Play" in English. So yeah, once again it may sound strange to you. Well, you know why.**

**Loren, luv ya!**

**-Belle**


	11. Two Loren's? Kill me, PLEASE!

**What can I say? I've been a little discouraged lately about my story. It kind of sucks, but it's alright. I'll keep writing, for you Loren! Hehe. **

**Anyways, I don't have much to say...Go READ CONSEQUENCES! I honestly know it's a lot better then this story, stop wasting your time.**

**Uh, I had to pull out more scandal! You guys don't review! I got to do stuff to make you review. **

**Hey, least I tried, and I warned you. You have been warned this story sucks. I own nothing except my own fantasies, J. & J., C.M., and this crappy story. Oh yeah, that skank Loren, also. Unfortunately, I mean both. Damn skank in the story and the real one! Hehe! Loren take that for being an excellent writer!**

**So, here goes!**

* * *

Chapter Eleven: **_Two Loren's? Kill me, PLEASE!_**

Jude's heart sank as she looked at the cover. She couldn't believe her eyes. On the tabloid was none other then Chaz, former Boyz Attack!er. That wasn't what bothered her; it was who was on his lap that bothered her. She couldn't take her eyes off the picture as she saw Sadie's lips pressed again Chaz's as she sat on his lap. Jude looked at the headline: **"Former Boyz Attack!er Still Getting Action." **She flipped threw the magazine and found the article about his wild night with the "groupie," she looked over at Kwest as he made his way over to her and Tommy.

Tommy gave Jude a look as she rolled it up and put it behind her back. "He should know." Tommy looked at his friend; he had to admit he felt bad for him. He felt that he should find out from them, instead of the tabloids.

Jude had other plans. She felt that she had to confront Sadie before Kwest actually found out. She knew he never looked at the tabloid junk. Only problem was he already saw her hide the magazine.

"Jude, let me see! Let me guess, you and Tommy caught making out again? You two need to learn how to get a room." He made his way from his chair to the white faced Jude. "Whoa, is it that bad? Come on, let me see." He moved to grab the magazine from behind her back.

"NO! I mean, yes...It's extremely bad, Kwest! You can't see it!" She smacked his arm away and stood up holding the magazine. She quickly ran out of the room. She felt bad for hiding it from him, but she didn't have the heart to let him see it. She wanted nothing more than to question Sadie.

Nothing could stop Jude as she slammed her way into the Harrison household. Much to her dismay, her mother was actually home. She stood in front of Jude trying talk to her. Jude was far from listening to what her mother had to say.

"Jude, honey! Oh, I'm so glad you came back! I never actually wanted you to leave! Wait, who are you living with? It better not be Tommy!" It amazed Jude how her mother's mood went from loving to an overly-protective mother in seconds.

"Mom, please! I don't have time for this. I have to talk to Sadie, get out of my way." She had to admit it felt good talking to her mother like that. She dodged her and ran up the steps. She ran around the upstairs calling out Sadie's names. She finally heard Sadie respond from downstairs. Jude jetted down the stairs, unfortunately, crashing right into her mother. Jude fell back on the stairs a little. She looked up at her angry mother.

"Jude, you are not leaving this house! I want you to tell me who you're living with!" Her mother crossed her arms as she stood over Jude on the steps. Jude swore she saw her eyes flash red.

Jude sensed herself becoming more and more irritated. Why did she care so much who she lived? _I mean, come on! The lady goes out every single night, and doesn't come back in the morning! _Jude looked up angrily at her mother and opened her mouth before she could think. "I'm living with Tom, alright! Happy now? Not only that, we have **wild **SEX all over his house! Oops, I think I'm pregnant!" She grinned evilly at her mother as she challenged her glance and crossed her arms as well.

Before Jude could stop it or, even process it, she felt a sting cross her face as her mother slapped her, hard, across her cheek. She pressed her hand quickly to her cheek and jumped up. She stared at her mother face to face.

"Don't you ever, ever talk to me like that again! You hear me? I'm your mother! You are not going to live with that pedophile! I'm calling Georgia, if it's the last thing I do!"

Jude touched her cheek as she at _the person _in disbelief. She couldn't believe this was actually her mother standing in front of her. "I don't have time for this! What part of that don't you understand!" She brushed past her mother as fast as she could, bumping her a little on the way out. She could feel Sadie hot on her heels. She had heard everything and actually believed it. Jude ran to her car.

"JUDE! Jude, is it true! Oh my Gosh, are you actually pregnant? You and Tommy! Jude!" Sadie ran up behind Jude and grabbed her keys out of her hand.

Jude turned to look at her; she felt the tears escape her eyes. She wiped her cheeks roughly with her left hand, as her right hand still held the tabloid. "No, it's not true! Of course Tommy would never let me live with him! I just wanted to piss her off, I'm so sick of everybody!" She managed to catch herself and went on. "But, I didn't come here about me." She unrolled the magazine and practically stuck the cover in Sadie's face. "Explain that!" She put her left hand on her hip as she looked at Sadie's horrified expression.

Sadie grabbed the tabloid out of Jude's hand and flipped through it, as Jude had done. She looked up in complete shock. She almost didn't know what to say. "Jude...I'm...I'm not proud of this! I..." She could see the tears forming in Sadie's eyes as she went on.

Jude couldn't feel sympathy for her, all she could think of was Kwest. "Sadie, how could you! Kwest is my friend, this will crush him! What were you thinking? Another Boyz Attack!er, who's next the rest of the damn band!" She threw her hands up in the air in frustration.

Sadie began crying as Jude made her guiltier. "I didn't mean for this to happen! I care about Kwest, I was just drunk! Jude, you have to understand! I'm not a groupie, it meant nothing! We didn't have sex; he didn't take advantage of me." Sadie wrapped her arms around her stomach, as she still gripped the rolled up tabloid in one hand. She shook a little from the crying.

Jude felt her heart breaking as she looked at Sadie. But, as she stood staring at Sadie she didn't see Sadie, she saw herself. It scared the crap out of her. She knew the reason she saw herself was because she was cheating on Speed. Not technically (not now at least), but in a sense... mentally. It made her feel all the guiltier and she took it out on Sadie.

"Well, that makes it so much better! I can't believe you would do that to such a great guy! I'm so out of here, you and mom deserve each other!" She got in her car as Sadie tried to stop her and drove off. She noticed Sadie stumble a little, since her hand was on the car when it moved. She felt instantly guilty as she drove on, her mind couldn't shake off the look on Sadie's face while she drove away.

As Jude drove around a bit, she noticed cars following her. As she looked out her window for a second she noticed a flash snapped. She looked around in shock as she noticed flashes coming from a lot of cars. The paparazzi had officially gone crazy. They were actually following her around in her car. She took off speeding a bit as the light turned green. They kept up a steady speed behind her and she began getting worried. They were going crazy just to get a picture of her crying. She quickly wiped her face with one hand best she could. She said a silent prayer there were no cops around. If there were, she would definitely be pulled over. She drove like a crazy woman; it was as if Tommy took over the driving. She smiled at the thought of him speeding in his Viper.

She knew she had to shake them off, but she really had no idea where in the world to go. She had just come from the studio, and the whole confrontation with Sadie and _Victoria,_ was more than horrible. She looked around in an attempt to find some refuge, any place to get away. She saw a Mini-mart and took her chances. She knew if she made a quick swerve into the somewhat crowded parking lot she would lose the paparazzi. She continued praying as she made the crazy turn. She saw the absurd gestures thrown her way, by other drivers but she shook it off. She drove down to the farthest parking place she could find. She didn't want to be found; she realized she had never seen the place before. Jude parked and took her seatbelt off. She decided she could at least go in and have a look around.

She got out of her car and adjusted her hair. She decided to put the hood up of her black ACDC hoodie, so that she wouldn't be noticed. Her red hair still peeked out from the sides and she tucked it in best she could. She put her hands in her pockets as she walked slowly into the Mini-Mart. It was sort of empty; she thought that was strange since the parking lot wasn't. She guessed it was because the place had a lot of employees. She noticed them as she looked around. She felt awkward as she looked around and noticed the clerks kept staring at her. She was just relieved no one yelled, "THEIR GOES JUDE HARRSION!" Now, that would have been annoying as hell. She loved her fans, but not right at that moment.

She walked around a bit gazing at the over stacked, somewhat dusty counters. She could feel eyes on her as she browsed around the store. She wasn't really hungry at the moment. Well, not for food, her mind kept drifting to Tommy. She looked around for licorice; she decided she should get him some and make peace. She couldn't stay mad at Quincy. As she finally found some, she made her way up to pay. She stopped as she noticed the magazine rack. She stood staring at it in horror; it was stacked up with the tabloid she saw that morning. She had no idea they had so much out, there was no way Kwest wouldn't see it. She walked over to the magazine rack and picked up the magazine.

She began to actually look through the magazine; she saw a lot of stuff about herself. As she continued to flip through it she noticed an article about Shay. _Talk about blast from the past! _She hadn't heard anything from him in such a long time. Darius never even mentioned him. She thought it was strange, she realized it was a short interview and decided to read it. As she read it, she noticed he was still his cocking self, which would never change. She stopped as she read something of interest. Shay had been doing really good in the States and practically everywhere else. She realized the headline said he was coming back to Canada. She stared at it in shock. _How could he be coming back, now? _She didn't even know what to think, Georgia hadn't mentioned it, unless she didn't know. She continued to read as she noticed he said he couldn't wait to get back to G-Major. The last thing she wanted was Shay coming back to G-Major.

She looked around at the staring employees and decided to finally pay and leave. She knew she must have looked weird just standing there, reading a magazine and holding licorice. She walked up to the counter and put the licorice down; she smiled back at the clerk. She could tell they knew who she was. She was grateful they didn't say anything. She paid silently and left the Mini-Mart. She decided she should probably pay a visit back to little 'ol G-Major.

Jude sped her way to G-Major quickly, so that she could question Georgia. She walked in from the back entrance. She could hear Tommy in Studio A with Mason. She put the licorice in her back pocket and walked to Georgia's office. She knocked quietly two times and waited to hear Georgia let her in. She finally heard a sound and made her way in. She came in and saw Georgia sitting at her new desk reading over some papers. "Hey, G. I um...I need to ask you something. If you're not to busy?" Jude made her way into the room as she noticed Georgia look up.

Georgia pushed Loren's releasing forms aside and looked at the troubled girl before her. "Yes, of course, what's on your mind, Hun?" She gestured with her hands for Jude to take a seat in front of her.

Jude fiddled with her hands as she took a seat in front of Georgia. "So, I'll just jump right to it. Is Shay back? Or, is he coming back? When was I supposed to find out?" Jude blurted out all her questions at once. She couldn't exactly stop herself.

Georgia sighed deeply as she sat back in her chair. She knew she should have just told Jude, it was going to come out eventually. "Yes, Shay's already back. He's been living with Darius. He doesn't want to come back to G-Major; he said he rather work with the devil rather then work with Tommy. I didn't mention it because; technically it doesn't really involve you. He's not going to bother you Jude."

Jude in turned sighed as well. She slumped down in her chair as she thought over what Georgia had said. She was relieved Shay wasn't coming to wreak havoc. She was also happy she wouldn't have to share Tommy. She could stand sharing him with Mason, but Shay was a whole other story. "That's good, last thing I need is Shay coming here." Her mind drifted to Speed for the first time that day. She thought about how strange it was he didn't bother to call.

"Yes, I know. But, I guess I should tell you something else. He's sort of having a party tonight. He invited some people. It's about some big announcement. I know it has nothing to do with you. Just you know, so you know."

Jude nodded; she wondered what in the heck he could be announcing. Knowing Shay, she knew it was probably something scandalous. She knew he always had this thing with bad timing. "Yeah, your right. I mean as long as it doesn't involve me I don't care. I should probably go. Could you give this to Tommy?" She pulled out the pack of licorice and handed it to Georgia. She didn't really feel like staying or talking to Tommy anymore.

She walked out of Georgia's office and was walking out of G-Major. She noticed Tommy come out of Studio A. She could see him stop as he saw her and then it seemed as though he sped up to try and catch up with her. She walked quickly through the back door hoping he wouldn't catch up. She just wasn't in the making up mood anymore. She got in her car quickly and decided to go find Speed.

She drove to the studio space and stepped out. She made her way inside hoping to find Speed. As she pushed the door open she stood in shock at who she found. She didn't find Speed in there, she none other then...S-H-A-Y. Her jaw dropped in awe at the sight of him. She hadn't seen him in so long. He grinned at her as he saw her jaw drop.

"Hey shorty, you look tight. It's been a while." He took a few steps closer to her as he took his sunglasses off and held out the flowers he bought for her. He continued to grin all the while.

Jude grabbed the flowers in awe as she finally managed to speak and get out what she wanted to say. "What...what are you doing here? I mean, why are you here?" She felt completely awkward and suddenly felt like making him leave. Jude held onto the flowers as she stared at him.

Shay nodded his head in understanding and opened his mouth to explain himself. "Well, if you look in the flowers there is an invitation in there. I want you to come to my party tonight. Not with me or anything, just as a friend. I have a date, and you could bring uh...What is it? Speidermen Mind Explosion." Shay laughed thinking about it. "Come on shorty, just say yeah."

Jude looked down at the flowers as she thought about what he said. They were beautiful lilies and she couldn't resist lilies. She pulled out the envelope and slipped out the invitation. Yeah, Shay definitely had bad timing. _How do you invite a girl to a party that's in three hours? _"Shouldn't you be getting ready?" She looked over at him, as he looked around the somewhat trashy place.

"Yeah, but I wanted to hear you say you'll come." He put his sunglasses back on as he got ready to leave. He knew she was going to say yes, it was no way she could say no. He had invited that Speed idiot.

Jude hesitantly nodded her head, "Fine, I'll come. But, just don't come back here!" She put the lilies down on the couch and stumbled back a little in shock as she felt Shay pull her into a hug. She patted his back a little; it was the best hug he would be receiving from her.

Shay pulled away and stepped back a little looking her up and down. "Thanks shorty, don't be too late." He walked out and silently shut the door as he left. Jude was just left standing in shock not knowing what to really do. She wasn't expecting a visit from Shay, let alone a party invitation and a HUG. The day was just getting weirder and weirder. Now, she had to find Speed and get him to go the stupid party.

Jude called Speed on his cell and had a short conversation with him. She found out that he was actually already invited, which he wouldn't elaborate how, and he didn't like that Shay had went to Jude and personally invite her. In fact, he was acting like a big baby about the whole thing. Kind of like whenever she would hang out with Jamie or Mason. Funny thing was he didn't know Mason was gay. So, Jude was going to the party alone making it all the more worse. She couldn't believe Speed was actually mad at her. She never realized how much he needed attention until then.

Jude quickly called EJ to help her get ready. The fact that Speed was mad at her made her want to go all the more. She would be damned if she didn't go looking hott. EJ bought over the hottest dark blue dress Jude had ever seen. It was actually a little bit skimpy. It had a plunging neckline and stopped a little below her knees. As she tried it on she was shocked at how tight it actually was. She felt like it had become her flesh. She looked in the mirror of the dressing room at G-Major. The dress hugged every curve of Jude's body, even the ones she didn't know she had. She felt a little naked with how low it was, but she wanted Speed to drool. She knew the dress would do. She came out and was greeted by applause from EJ. She was feeling pretty happy, so she even put on the black stilettos EJ had brought for her. She just hoped she didn't bust her ass in them. She put on her black eyeliner and lip-gloss, and let EJ curl her hair a bit. It wasn't really noticeable, but it really made her look older. She was shocked when she looked in the mirror. She looked better than she did on her birthday. She almost whished Tommy would be there.

Jude made her way into the crowded party, and was greeted by some stares. She even heard a few whistles from some of the guys. She walked her way over to the drinks and grabbed one and began gulping down. She wished she had Kat there with her, but she was still happy Kat was living out her dreams in New York. Jude would have invited Jamie but she knew it would have been awkward if she saw Speed. Jude stood in the corner sipping on her drink as she saw Loren. She almost spit it out all over the place as she saw Loren prancing around as if she owned the place.

Jude continued to stare and noticed another blonde come up and stand by Loren. Jude couldn't see the girls face but she looked almost exactly like Loren. They both had straight blonde hair, the same body types, and the same fakeness. Jude couldn't believe how much the girl was acting like Loren as well. They seemed to be doing the exact same things. They walked alike, danced alike, and were just overall annoying. Jude tried to see her face but couldn't get a good look. As Jude looked around she saw someone else at the at party. This time she actually did spit out her drink, all over some poor guy. She quickly apologized and tried to help wipe him clean.

After the guy left Jude looked back at the person. She couldn't believe Tommy was actually here, worst part was he had a skank with him. Jude didn't know the woman, but judging by the way she looked, she was skank. Jude was more than upset. She hadn't found Speed and was having a horrible time. She had found out Loren apparently had a twin, Tommy had a new skank, Speed was mad at her, and Shay was back in town, and this was all in one night. It was a bad night.

Jude looked over at the stage as the light dimmed and the music was silenced. Everyone turned in unison as they saw someone approaching the microphone. Jude noticed that the person was none other then Loren's twin. Jude couldn't really see her so she moved closer to the stage. Jude almost fell back in horror as she saw Eden standing at the mike looking at the crowd. She had straightened her hair and was actually standing in front of Jude. It was as if Jude's worst nightmare came true. This was worse then two Loren's, far worse.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! You all came here tonight for Shay, but as your about to find out. This night is far more than just about Shay. My names Eden Taylor and I'm owner of the new Taylor records. Shay baby, come to the stage. Shay has been signed as my first artist, followed by the beautiful Loren Prettle. Come up here you two!" The audience roared into applause as Shay and Loren climbed up on the stage. Jude felt as if she was in a dream, she couldn't believe this was actually happening. Eden her former arch nemesis actually had a record label. She had signed her ex and her enemy. It was as if Jude's worst nightmare really did come true. She felt things blur around her.

As Shay started performing Jude made it back to the drinks sort of in a daze. She knew she should go home but she felt incapable at the moment. She still couldn't believe what she had heard. Not to mention, all of the other things that had happened that day. As she felt that she needed to be alone she made her way over to a back room. She cracked the door open and stopped as she heard voices coming from the inside.

"Oh, come on Speed! Stop slobbering on me!" Loren pushed the drunken Speed off of her a little as he continued to undress her. She was hoping Jude would come in, but she hadn't seen her yet.

Jude peered through the door in horror. She saw Speed slobbering all over Loren's neck, and Loren actually trying to push him off. Jude crashed into the room and confronted the situation. "What the hell is going on here?" She pushed back the tears as she saw the smug look on Loren's face. Jude was worn down; she already had a bad day.

"Well, look who decided to come out tonight. Nice dress, was it perhaps for Speed?" She grinned at Jude as Speed looked around completely clueless still draped all over Loren.

"You whore; at least I don't have to get guys drunk to have sex with them!" She walked over and grabbed Speed's hand ready to take him home and out of the party. She knew he was too drunk to do anything.

Loren got up and pushed Jude away from him. Before Jude could recuperate, Loren pushed her again this time Jude fell back out of the doorway and on the ground in front of the people near by. She was completely embarrassed. At that moment she wanted to kill EJ for the heels idea. She got up to fight Loren but felt all her energy go way. Jude Harrison had finally cracked. She put her hands down and just stared at Loren and Speed. She no longer felt anger or anything. She didn't know what she felt. All she felt was sadness welt up inside of her daring to come out. "You want him, fine. I don't even care." Jude turned and started to walk away from the party.

Loren's smug look washed right off her face. She didn't know what to do; she didn't exactly expect it to turn out like that. She never saw Jude act so strange. She looked over at Speed and walked out of the room leaving him there. She suddenly felt no interest in him.

As Jude made her way out of the party she walked by Tommy and his skank. She saw his head turn in awe as he saw her walk by. His jaw dropped at what she had on. She looked gorgeous, yet sad. She looked very different and he figured it had to do with who she saw him with. He excused himself from Alexandria, and made his way out to the parking lot to follow Jude. He saw her walking barefoot to her car holding her heels. She was walking completely slow and he knew something was wrong.

"Jude! Jude, stop wait! I need to talk to you" He sped up so that he was walking next to her and he looked over at her. She was almost in a daze as she just glared at him and just continued to walk. He crossed over in front of her and grabbed her arms to stop her from walking. "Jude, what's wrong?" He was concerned as he looked in her eyes and noticed the fire that usually danced in them was burned out.

"Nothing Tommy, its all fine. It's always fine. I'm completely happy." She started to cry as she said the last part and felt the tears come gushing out. She couldn't control herself, as she started to shake and cry uncontrollably.

Tommy had never seen Jude cry so bad and he didn't know what to do. He pulled her into a tight hug and let her cry into his suit. He softly touched her hair as she cried against him. He felt so bad for all the games he had played with her over the last couple of days. He had this beautiful girl crying on him and he didn't know how to make it better.

As he lightly pulled Jude away from him he looked down at her. He enveloped her face in his hands and wiped away her tears and tried his best with the smeared mascara. "You look beautiful tonight. Let me give you a ride home." He put a hand around Jude's waist and was leading her to the Viper. Jude leaned against his warmth and put her head on his shoulder. He smelled so damn good.

She stopped walking as they got to the Viper. She pulled away from Tommy's grasp and looked at him. "I don't have a home. Speed...he's...its all mess up. My mom..." She felt tears escape her again as she looked up at Tommy's amazingly capturing eyes.

He put his hands to her face once again and wiped her tears again. He stepped closer and kissed her on the head. His hands slipped down to her hips and he held them there looking down at her. "Move in with me. I'll take care of your things." He gripped onto her hips as he looked down at her seriously.

Jude was in shock as she looked up at him, more like in awe. "Of course I'll move in with you." She grabbed onto Tommy's hands and held onto them reassuringly.

Tommy held up both her hands and kissed each one. He led her to the passenger door and unlocked it. He held the door for her and walked around to the other side. He got into the driver's seat and looked over at Jude. She never looked more beautiful as she laid her head against the headrest and tilted her head to the side to look at him. He wanted nothing more to than to kiss her. He instead grabbed her hand in kissed it.

He began driving to his house still holding onto her hand.

**

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****Aww, I just love that ending! Could it get any better? Love it! Okay, so like I said pulled out the crazy so that you guys will FINALLY REVIEW! By the way, I can take long reviews. They're fine, feel free to be lengthy. I'll take constructive criticism as well. Anyway, this was one of my favorite chapters! Hooray!**

**Gotta love ya Loren!**

**Ah yes, love when the writing bug bites! It's the bestest. Maybe if I get reviews, I won't go back in that slump.**

**Love you guys! REVIEW!**

**-Belle**


	12. Don't Wake Up, Don't Cry

**Okay, I really need to start editing! I mean, I blame Loren, she's always rushing me. Damn skank! ; - ). You know I love you Loren! But, I disgraced AC/DC last chapter, by not putting the slash. J. and J. would kill me! That's exactly why they'll never find out:-)**

**Anyways, thank so much for the reviews guys! I love them so much, it was really nice!**

**They really help me get the inspiration to write. Okay so in this chapter there is going to be a short description of Tommy's penthouse. I am horrible at describing things! My details are horrible, so sorry!**

**By the way, you should really check out CONSEQUENCES! I mention it every chapter, so now I must mention other stories...**

**Seriously I just read this story and it kicks ass! It's called, INSPIRATION OF THE PAST, by MAZKALNS! Honestly, it's really good! She really deserves more reviews than what she has! I love how in character everyone is. Can't say the same for my story! Also, check out JUDE AND TOMMY INSTANT LOVE FOREVER? By, TOMMYSGURL101. I just know it's the best! I know she deserves more reviews! I can't wait to check it out!**

**Anyways, please read and review. I own nothing! Oh, but I wished I owned Tommy's penthouse and Tim! ;-) **

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Chapter Twelve: **_Don't Wake Up, Don't Cry_**

Tommy led the restless Jude up to his penthouse apartment. They got some stares from people as he led to her the elevators. She leaned herself against him as she followed him in a daze. She held onto her heels and still felt as she was in dream. She couldn't even enjoy the fact that she was moving in with Tommy, all she felt was incredible pain and self-pity.

He lived on one of the highest floors which wasn't much of a surprise. But, it was a fire hazard if you really think about it. That would be a hell of a lot of stairs to run down. As they made it to his room, Tommy quickly pulled his card out and swiped it. The door opened and he led Jude inside. She lifted her head off of him as she looked around. It was kind of what she expected, but wasn't at the same time. She looked around the living room. It had a big couch that was surrounded by two smaller couches. In front of the one big couch was the biggest T.V. she had ever seen. It had a huge sound system included with it, and she knew watching movies on the T.V. would be like going to the movie theater. She looked around at his pictures on the wall. He had a lot with some other famous celebrities he met, some with what she guessed were family, and of course he had C.D. plagues. All the ones from Boyz Attack! when they had went platinum. She noticed he had one of hers, the one from her first c.d. when it went platinum. She also noticed he had some pictures around of them together. He had a bar, which she thought was pretty cool. She noticed his huge walls full of C.D. collections. He had a huge variety of music selections not to mention one of the biggest stereos she had ever seen. She noticed the glass case full of different awards that he had won; she lingered around looking at them for a little bit. It was overall very modern but cozy at the same time. She walked by the huge staircase and looked up wondering how many more rooms he had upstairs. Downstairs was just the kitchen, huge ass living room, dining room, bathroom, and an extra bedroom.

Tommy watched her as she looked around, he couldn't really read how she was feeling her face was blank. She was silent the whole car ride and seemed really broken up about every thing. He didn't know what to do. "Let's go upstairs, I'll show you your room." He walked over to her and she followed him up the steps. They walked down a long hallway to the room all the way at the end. She looked down the other way and saw a room that had two big brown oak doors; she guessed it was his bedroom. He opened the door to the room and led her in. It was a pretty boring room. It just had a bed in the middle, a cozy looking chair with a bookcase full of books next to it. On the other side was a simple desk with a chair and a lamp on it. The bed had two nightstands next to it. Across from the bed were windows and a door that led out to a small balcony. She walked near the windows and looked out them for a little. She looked in the closet and noticed it was a walk-in, but it was pretty much empty. He told her when he got her things they could fill it up. It had a nice oak armoire that she looked in for no reason. She knew it would be empty.

The room had its own bathroom, which he showed her. It was pretty spacious with a marble bathtub and sink. It also had a shower attached next to the bathtub. She walked over the sink and looked in the three mirrors. She looked at the one big one in the middle above the sink and the other two smaller ones just above the surfaces. She turned and looked at Tommy.

"Uh, I'll get you something you can sleep in. I assume you want to go to sleep, right?" He watched her as she distractedly nodded her head. He walked out of the room in search of something for her to sleep in. He grabbed one of his white t-shirts and looked around for something she could wear as a bottom. He didn't own any shorts so he didn't know what to get her. He looked at his boxers and knew one of them would have to do. He grabbed the clothes and quickly walked back to her bedroom.

He walked in and noticed her touching the red silk sheets of the bed. She looked up as he came in with the clothes in his hand. "Here, this is all I could find that would be comfortable." He held them out to her and she slowly took them. She looked at them a little and then walked into the bathroom and shut the door. He looked around the room awkwardly but decided to go to his own bathroom and take a shower.

Jude slowly took a shower thinking about the day. Her mind tried to process everything that had happened, but she didn't seem to be able to. She just didn't know how to feel, she didn't care about anything. She felt numb; all she could manage to feel was pain. Deep pain she had been keeping inside for so long. She finished and got of the shower getting dressed into the clothes Tommy had given her. They fit pretty big, but it wasn't much she could do.

She walked back into the bed and began fixing it how she liked. She slipped in the covers and turned the lamps on the nightstands off. She rolled over and tried to fall asleep. She could feel tears began to fall from her eyes and she couldn't control it. Her body shook from the crying and she bit her lip in an attempt not to let her whimpers be heard.

Tommy walked back to Jude's room after he had finished to tell her good-night. As he cracked the door open he heard Jude crying. It broke his heart hearing her cry and he didn't know what to do. He pushed the door open and walked into the room. "Jude are you okay?"

Jude heard Tommy in the room and wiped her face quickly. She took in a sharp intake of breath and let it out silently. Tommy walked over and switched the lamp on; Jude remained laying on the bed. She couldn't bring herself to roll over and look at him. Tommy leaned over the bed and touched her shoulder. "Jude, just talk to me." He just wanted her to let it out. He didn't want her to feel alone.

Jude grabbed his arm and rolled around a bit sitting up on the bed. She looked over at him. He leaned forward into the bed as she held his arm and looked at her red eyes and tear streaked face. She looked at him with his shirt off and couldn't deny she felt a tingle go up her spine. "Tommy, can you stay with me...for the night." She let go of his arm as she looked at him with a blank expression on her face.

Tommy's own mind went blank a little as he thought about what she said. It would just be sleeping, it couldn't hurt. Well, except the fact they were barely wearing anything. "Uh, sure, if you want me to." He looked around awkwardly as she nodded her head. She sunk back down onto the bed and laid down. She felt the bed go down a little as Tommy climbed onto it. He grabbed the blankets and pulled them over them. He switched off the lamp and laid on his back.

He looked over at Jude's laying figure as she slept on her side, her back was to him. He looked up at the dark ceiling as he thought about how he could make Jude feel better, his mind was blank. He looked over at Jude again as he heard a little sniffle coming from her. He could tell she was crying again, he rolled over and put his arm around her hesitantly.

Jude gasped quietly as she felt Tommy's arm wrap around her stomach. She could feel him breathing on the back of her neck and it made goose bumps go up and down her body. She felt the warmth coming from him and it was what she needed, longed for. She rolled over and noticed their faces were face to face. They breathed in each others air. Tommy kept his eyes closed as he felt Jude breathing on him, he couldn't open his eyes. If he saw her that close he wouldn't be able to resist it. He kept his arm around her own and felt himself slipping into sleep. Jude couldn't sleep she laid awake for a while watching him sleep and finally fell into a cozy sleep.

Tommy woke up the next morning and opened his eyes slowly. He looked up at the white ceiling and then looked down. He saw Jude's head on his chest as she slept. He was glad she didn't drool. He just had no idea how he was going to get out of the entanglement. He slid slowly trying to get his left arm from under her successfully. He moved her up a little so that she was on the pillow and pulled the covers onto her some more. He walked out of the room and down the hall back to his bedroom. He quickly got ready for the day. He wanted to cook Jude breakfast before she woke up, so that she could see he could cook. He walked downstairs into his kitchen and began making J-shaped pancakes. He had heard they were her favorite. He knew she deserved them, and he had to admit...He was happy Jude was living with him.

About an hour later Tommy finally was done. Tommy decided he should give Jude breakfast in bed and found a tray. He began setting everything up on it. He put the plate of pancakes and cup of orange juice on it. He then put the bottle of syrup on the tray and quietly made his way up the stairs. He walked down the hallway and silently pushed open her door. He stumbled back a little when he saw her already awake. She sat on the bed with her back against the headboard. Her legs were pulled up to her chest and she laid her arms on her knees. She was writing on her arms and was already covered a lot from the writing.

Tommy put the tray down on the desk and looked at her. "We have paper you know? You could write at this desk." He watched her worriedly. Jude looked up from her writing and examined her written over arms.

"I know, skin is better. If I wanted to write on paper, I would have." She looked over at the tray and back at Tommy. "Is that for me?" She couldn't bring herself to smile.

Tommy nodded, "Yes, I made you your favorite. J-shaped pancakes, I thought you could eat it in bed. I can cook." He smiled at her a little but stopped when her face again showed no expression. He opened his mouth again, but heard knocking on the door downstairs. He looked over at Jude and walked out of the room.

He walked quickly as the knocking got louder. He wondered who would be coming over his place in the morning. He looked in the peep hole and cursed silently under his breath when he saw who it was. He opened the door and examined the angry woman before him.

"Tommy, I waited for you all night! I thought you were going to the bathroom! Where the hell were you!" Alexandria was more than angry at Tommy about last night. She was a slender woman of 22 years of age. She had black hair that stopped just below her shoulders, piercing green eyes, and caramel skin. It was her natural skin color and she had an exotic look about her. She was Brazilian but had no accent. She looked like she came right off the runway. She was wearing black pinstriped slacks, a white long-sleeved blouse with a black corset over it. She had on black stilettos, and wore her hair out so it cascaded over her shoulders. She pushed her hair back, out of her face as she questioned Tommy.

Tommy sighed heavily as he looked at her, he didn't exactly know what to tell her. "I'm sorry Alex; it was an emergency I had to go. I didn't know I would have to leave." He held onto the door as he looked at her. She crossed her arms still standing in the hallway. He didn't want to let her in because Jude was there.

"Oh, I get it! You already got what you wanted the other night! I'm not important to you am I? I'm not going to be one of those groupie's Tommy!" She hadn't lowered her voice and was glaring at Tommy in rage. She would not let him use her and throw her way like that. She uncrossed her arms and put her hands on her hips.

"Alex, I'm not using you! I told you it was an emergency. I had to go! What did you want me to do?" He was getting irritated and he didn't want Jude to hear this conversation. He didn't know how to get rid of Alexandria.

Alexandria pushed the door open and tried to look past him. As she looked in the room she saw Jude come down the stairs. Her jaw dropped as she saw Jude Harrison in Tommy's living room in one of his t-shirts and his boxers. Not to mention, Jude's arms and now legs were written all over. She looked back at Tommy. "You call that an emergency? Well, I'm sorry I didn't know you ran off to _do_ an 18 year old!" She looked back at Jude and noticed the writing; she assumed Tommy had written on her. "Oh, I didn't know you were into kinky stuff! I guess I wasn't kinky enough for you!" She turned to leave but Tommy grabbed her arm.

"Alex, she had no where to go. She moved in with me..." He silently cursed himself for saying Jude moved in. He knew that sounded horrible.

Alexandria gave him a wicked smile. "Oh, that's just peachy! You know, I read the tabloids Tom, I was just too stupid to believe them!"

Jude walked up behind Tommy and examined the woman outside of the door. She noticed it was the skank Tommy was with last night. The woman looked back at Jude furiously. Jude shrugged and walked back up the stairs as though nothing had happened. She walked back to her room to pick the lyrics off her arms and write down a song, maybe two.

"Alexandria, calm down and be rational! I'm her producer; she needed a place to stay. The tabloids are idiots trying to make money." He looked at her reassuringly.

"Whatever, Tom. It's over; I'm not going to be one of those girls!" She looked at him and walked down the hallway to the elevators. She held her head up high and didn't look back at him.

Tommy muttered under his breath, "We weren't even really a couple." He ran his hand through his hair and shut the door. He looked around his living room and thought about Jude. She was obviously depressed. The only thing he could think to make her feel better would be for her to sing. He wanted to take her to the studio but she had no clothes. He knew he would have to go to Speed's house to get her suitcase.

Tommy drove quickly over to Speed's house after he had gotten directions from Jude. He wasn't particularly happy about going to the idiot's house. He quickly got out of his Viper and made his way up the steps. He knew Speed probably had a hang over so he rang the door bell continuously and banged on the door loudly. He could hear him yelling but continued to do it until he opened the door.

Speed looked up at Tommy through squinted eyes and rubbed his temple. "Saint Tommy, looks like I've woken up in hell." His head felt like it was splitting in two and now he had Tommy standing in his doorway.

Tommy looked at Speed with an irritated expression and just brushed past him into his house. He climbed up the steps and walked into what he assumed was Speed's room. Clothes were all over the place so he knew he was right. He saw an opened suitcase on the floor and he went over to it. He went around picking up all of her clothes that were not in the suitcase. He saw a bra and picked it up hesitantly.

Speed stood in the doorway and looked at Tommy holding the bra. "Want to sniff it, Dude. It's not even Jude's, that one is Loren's." He held a cup of coffee in his hand as he looked over at Tommy packing Jude's things.

Tommy quickly let go of the bra letting it fall to the ground. He looked around the room and didn't see anything else that could be hers. He walked over to the suitcase and zipped it up.

"Why are you getting Jude's stuff? She's living with you isn't she. I knew you wanted my girl; it was only a matter of time. At least I wouldn't have given her STD's. You tell her that."

Tommy dropped the suitcase and walked over to Speed. He gripped him up and threw him up against the wall. Speed gripped onto the coffee cup so that it wouldn't spill. "Dude, calm down. Don't get your whitie tighties in a bunch." Speed nonchalantly took a sip of his coffee as Tommy looked at him dangerously.

"You know I could kick your ass, but I feel sorry for you. You're not the one Jude was in love with from the beginning, and you never will be." Tommy let go of Speed and walked over to the suitcase, he picked it up and walked out.

Tommy put the suitcase in his beloved Viper and drove quickly back to the house. He had taken longer then he had originally planned and he hoped Jude was alright.

Jude sat at the desk in her new room and finished transferring the second song she had written on her body to paper. The first song was pretty short so it didn't take long to write. She was happy of the outcome but she couldn't show it. She wondered what was taking Tommy so long and wished he would hurry up. She finally heard the door open. Jude ran down the stairs and almost bumped into him as he made his way up the stairs.

"Oh, hey Jude. Sorry I took so long, I got all of your things here. You can take a shower and get dressed. If you're feeling up to it we can go to the studio." He walked up the stairs with her back to her bedroom. He put her suitcase down and looked over at her.

"Thanks. I'll get ready." She had a strange sensation to cry and she didn't know why. She went in the suitcase and began taking stuff out.

"Do you need any help?" Tommy watched her miserably take things out of her suitcase.

"No." This was the longest conversation Tommy had actually had with her all day. He just wished he could take her out of her slump. He left the room so that she could get to what she needed to do.

Jude came down the stairs after she was done, in a somewhat strange outfit. She had picked a black dress Kat had made her and put it over some jeans. She was wearing her signature black and white converses and had her red hair pulled into a ponytail something you would never, ever normally see her in.

Tommy didn't say anything as he looked at her outfit choice. It after all was her choice; they walked out of the door and walked to his Viper. Jude stopped and looked at Tommy. "Can I drive?" Tommy stopped walking and looked at her.

He was in a huge dilemma; he didn't want her to drive. He couldn't exactly say no to her, she was in such a bad mood. He looked back at his Viper and back at Jude; he knew he had to decide what he honestly cared about more. He held out his keys. "Anytime, girl." He handed Jude the keys and went around to the passenger side. He said a silent prayer they wouldn't die.

As they were driving Jude was doing an overall okay job. He was pretty surprised her driving wasn't that bad. He did have to yell out a couple of times for her to stop or something, but he would apologize afterwards. Jude was silent the whole ride she did nothing but glance at him a couple of times.

As they got closer to the studio Jude was driving along a street. She passed a Stop sign by accident and didn't notice the women with the baby crossing the street. Tommy panicked, "JUDE STOP!" He was practically jumping up and down as Jude slammed on the breaks. The cars behind them honked their horns. The women crossed the street safely and Jude turned to glare at Tommy. The cars behind them kept honking their horns and cursing Tommy looked at Jude waiting for her to drive.

Jude undid her seatbelt and got out of the car. She started to walk the rest of the way to G-Major. "JUDE!" Tommy called out her name as he quickly undid his seatbelt and climbed into the driver's seat. He couldn't believe she just got up and left the car like that. The cars behind him wanted to kill him. He drove up and was driving beside Jude as she walked on the sidewalk. "Jude, please get in the car." Jude continued walking as if she didn't hear him and looked straight ahead. He looked where she was looking and noticed they were almost at G-Major he asked her to get in the car once again but it was no use. He sighed and drove to G-Major without her.

Jude walked into G-Major a good while after Tommy had. She jumped out of the car because he was annoying her and she didn't feel like arguing. As she came in she got glares from all the people around her. She knew the tabloids must have printed what happened last night. She noticed Georgia and EJ coming her way; she didn't feel like talking and walked quickly off to Studio A.

As she came in she saw Kwest sitting on the couch. He looked almost like she did...depressed. He had let the hair grow back on his face and it looked like he hadn't slept. Jude walked over to him and took a seat. They didn't need to speak to know how the other was feeling. She put her head against his shoulder and he put his arm around

her. They sat back and closed their eyes.

Tommy came into the room and was slapped in the face with depression. He could sense the horrible feeling in the room and just wanted to escape. He saw Jude and Kwest sitting on the couch both looking worn. He understood why Kwest was upset he just couldn't understand why Jude was. _Did she honestly love Speed? _He walked over to the bunch and cleared his throat.

Jude and Kwest sat up and opened their eyes. "Um, do you guys want to work today?" Tommy sat down on one of the rolling chairs and handed them each a cup of coffee. Kwest nodded his head yes.

Jude put the coffee down and pulled out the songs she had written. "I wrote these songs, I like them. I want to record one. I think it should have piano in the background. I want to sing it for you guys though." Tommy could already tell the fact that she was about to sing was making her feel better. He knew music was her life.

Jude sat up on the couch and looked over the music. It mirrored exactly how she was feeling and she was pretty happy about it. Writing the two songs was the only thing keeping her sane. Every thing had collapsed down on her and she didn't know who to deal. It wasn't even about Speed it was about so much more.

Jude looked down at the lyrics as she began singing. She sang from deep inside her and she was glad she was letting it all out. Maybe every thing truly did happen for a reason.

This song didn't have a chorus but it was really special to Jude. It told exactly how she was feeling. She closed her eyes and began singing:

_Playground school bell rings again _

_Rain clouds come to play again _

_Has no one told you she's not breathing? _

_Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to _

_Hello _

_If I smile and don't believe _

_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream _

_Don't try to fix me I'm not broken _

_Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide _

_Don't cry _

She opened her eyes as she was almost finished the song. Her voice got louder and she sang out the last three lyrics with more passion than before.

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping _

_Hello I'm still here _

_All that's left of yesterday _

She held out the day in yesterday as she finished out the song. She knew it would sound amazing with the piano in the background. She knew they would add some more music, but the piano would be the best part. She looked over at Tommy and Kwest. She took her headphones off and walked out of the booth. Kwest got up and left the room.

She looked over at Tommy questioningly. "Kwest decided to go him; he wasn't feeling up for work today. I told him to finally shower!" Tommy smiled at Jude but she didn't return the smile. "Jude, I know you're hurting, I just...How can I make it better?" He looked over at her seriously as she back leaned against the soundboard.

Jude looked over at him; she didn't know how to answer the question. She honestly wished she could answer it for herself. She decided to let him in a little. "Tommy, I'm lonely. I'm extremely lonely and I have this hole inside me that won't get filled." She looked over at him with tears in her eyes.

He didn't know she felt that bad and he knew he had to ask her something. He had to know, "Jude, did you love Speed?" He looked over at as she wiped away a stray tear. He fought the urge to hug her until she answered the question.

She laughed sadly at the question. "Are you serious? Tommy, I've only been in love twice, once if you really think about it. I'm never loved back." She looked over at him as she said the last part.

Tommy got up and moved closer to her, "Who, was it Shay? Were you in love with Shay?" Tommy put his hands on Jude's arms and looked her in the eyes.

Jude laughed again looking away. She looked at him sadly as tears escaped her eyes a little. "No, you know who. You know exactly who it was, and is. It's always been..."

Before Jude could finish Tommy pulled her closer to him by the arms and kissed her a little roughly. It was kind of like on her 16th birthday except Jude kissed him back quickly. Tommy slid his hands down to her hip bones and held his hands there as he kissed her with yearning. Jude's hands slowly wrapped around his neck and she kissed him back. She didn't feel lonely when she was with him. When she was close to him she felt whole. She knew then, she needed him.

Tommy pulled away from Jude quickly when he heard someone enter the room. They turned and looked to see who had entered the room. Alexandria stood in the middle of the room fighting back tears. She looked from Tommy to Jude and back at Tommy.

"Well, I wasn't wrong." She laughed to herself as she tried to stay strong. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and stared at Tommy for a while. Tommy kept his arm around Jude's waist as he looked at Alexandria just waiting for her to explode...

It never came.

"They told me to find you here. They said you'd be busy, I can see you are." She bit her lip as she continued fighting the tears unsuccessfully. Tommy had never seen her so openly upset. "Alex, what's wrong?" He had to admit he felt sorry for her.

"I think I'm pregnant."

Tommy's hand dropped from Jude's waist as he heard what she said. Alexandria began crying the tears she held back.

Jude felt like she was in a dream once again.

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****Ha, I had to end it there you guys! Ha, this chapter kind of sucked though. It was depressing. It just wasn't one of my best, sorry guys.**

**Anyway, song was Evanescence "Hello," I really like that song. **

**Love ya Loren!**

**I didn't feel like editing! Oh well, you guys go REVIEW! Hurry! Please! Yay!**

**-Belle**


	13. Calm Before The Storm

**Okay, I have no idea what to write. I am so uninspired it's sad. I wonder why I'm even starting this chapter. It's going to be my worst one yet. I just feel it, the site sucks ass by the way. It's messing everything up. It probably won't even let me upload this, oh well. I don't know what else to say, I'm kind of...Blah!**

**Shout Out time!**

**CONSEQUENCES, need I say more? It's one of the best stories I have ever read in my 15 year old life. So, yeah, it's damn good. Loren you know I luv you! You're the best and have been my inspiration hundreds of times. Hugs!**

**INSPIRATION OF THE PAST, by MAZKALNS...I just read that story a while ago and I adore it. Writer's a real sweetheart also. You got to love good writing and good people. Her story seriously kicks ass. I love the emotions and feelings in the story. Great!**

**JUDE AND TOMMY INSTANT LOVE FOREVER? By, TOMMYSGURL101. The girl should get more reviews! She's so nice, honestly! Give the girl reviews! Damn it, people!**

**Alright, as I sit here with the song "Iris" stuck in my head...I begin the new chapter...**

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Chapter Thirteen: **_Calm Before The Storm_**

Jude ran out of G-Major in a daze. She didn't exactly know what to do. Everything had happened so quickly. It seemed as though things only went from bad to worse. She couldn't believe Tommy could have actually gotten that woman pregnant. How could he just stand there kissing Jude knowing only a few days ago he was all over some other girl?

Jude got in her car and drove to the Harrison household. She had a strange urge to talk to Sadie. She felt as though she may be the only person to understand how Jude was feeling. Jude took a deep breath and made her way to the front door. It felt weird having to knock on door instead of just pulling out her key. She heard a yell from inside and turned the knob, the door was oddly unlocked. She made her way inside and was shocked by the mess she saw around the house. She kicked aside clothes as she made her way into the living room. She saw Sadie on the couch eating ice cream and watching soap operas. It was quite a sad sight.

Sadie looked over at Jude miserably and put the ice cream down on the coffee table. "I'm a mess! I know! Just look at me!" She ran her hand through her hair indicating it was tangled. "I mean, you were so right Jude! I am a horrible person! I mean, how could I do that to someone like that? With his little puppy dog face! I'm horrible, I'm a horrible person! I wounded a puppy face, how could I do that? He was crushed, crushed Jude! He didn't even get mad at me, he just...He looked so betrayed! I rather he cursed me out, but no." She dramatically slammed her back against the couch and took some time to breathe. She crossed her arms and actually looked at Jude. It didn't look like the same Jude that left, this Jude was worn. This Jude was broken. "Jude...Um, are you alright?" She sat up and looked at the pale Jude.

Jude walked further into the room and took a deep breath. She exhaled and made her way over to Sadie. She sat down next to her and crossed her arms as Sadie had done earlier. "No, I'm not okay. As in My Chemical Romance would say it."

"Who? Never mind, just, what's up? What happened? I heard about Taylor Records and Speed. Wait, where are you living?" Sadie turned so she could face Jude better.

Jude turned her head and smiled at Sadie weakly. She didn't exactly know what to say to each answer. She wondered if Sadie would be mad about the whole Tommy thing. _She shouldn't be she had Kwest. _"My Chemical Romance is a band. Anyway, yes, I heard about Taylor Records. I think it's the worst thing to happen to music since Britney Spears. Um, I'm living...with...Tommy." She looked over at Sadie to see her reaction.

Sadie's face remained blank as she cupped her hands together awkwardly. She looked at Jude and around the room. She didn't know exactly how to feel. Jude was living with Tommy. Should she care? She couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. "Are you guys...Are you guys, um, together?" She kept her eyes from looking in Jude's.

Jude shook her head slightly. She never realized how upset she was that they weren't together until then. "No, besides, he may have gotten a girl pregnant." She held back the tears as she looked away from Sadie. Why was she upset? She didn't want to be upset. She hated Tommy and his games. She didn't understand him. It seemed as if all guys just wanted to play games with her.

Sadie stared at Jude with her jaw dropped. "Are you kidding me? Oh my Gosh! Jude!" She noticed how upset Jude was about it and put a hand on her back. "Are you okay? You're really upset, aren't you?" Sadie looked at Jude forgetting her own problems. Jude was obviously tearing up inside.

"I don't know what to feel. I mean, even if she's not pregnant. I don't know Sadie! He's so damn hot and cold. It's like; I think he wants me but..." She sighed; she couldn't explain it to Sadie. She just wouldn't understand, Jude didn't understand it herself.

Sadie rubbed Jude's back and nodded her head in understanding. She knew exactly how Jude felt, she had felt it once. "You're in love with him. It kills you this girl might be pregnant with his child." Sadie held back her own tears thinking about when she was with Tommy. She was in love with him but she knew he wanted Jude.

Jude let out a sigh of frustration as she began crying. Sadie pulled her into a hug and they held each other for a while. As they pulled out of the embrace Jude rubbed her eyes. "I don't understand him! If she's pregnant..." She looked over at Sadie and reached over and grabbed the ice cream. She dug the spoon in and miserably began eating ice cream. Sadie got up and went into the kitchen briefly.

"Well, where are he and the skank now?" Sadie questioned as she came back from the kitchen with another spoon. She took the ice cream from Jude and began eating as Jude explained.

"He actually denied he could be the father at first. I thought that was a pretty jackass move. She was really upset. Then he said he would drive her to a doctor to find out for sure. I just... I had to get out of there." She grabbed the ice cream back from Sadie and took a scoop.

Sadie nodded her head. "He is a jackass! Jude why are you attracted to jackasses? I say screw Tommy! You could do so much better! Like Kwest..." She sighed remembering Kwest and the big mistake she made. "He was perfect!" She snatched the ice cream back and jammed her spoon into it.

"You know he's a wreck. He totally still wants you Sadie. You just need to talk to him. He's a lot more forgiving than Tommy. You two were perfect together." She touched Sadie's arm reassuringly.

"I know!" Sadie handed Jude the ice cream and stood up. "I'm going to do it now! It's now or never! I'm feeling spontaneous!" She hugged Jude, thanked her for the encouragement, and ran up the stairs to get ready.

Jude got up slowly and put the ice cream away. She was glad she could have at least helped Sadie. She stood in the living room for a little bit trying to think about her options. She didn't exactly know where she wanted to go. Just then her phone began ringing; as she looked at the caller ID she knew her decision would be made for her.

She flipped it open, "Hey EJ, what's up?" She tried her best to sound nonchalant and like nothing had happened. She concentrated on EJ's cheery response.

"Well, I need you to come back to G-Major. We need to get you ready for Mason's CD release party tonight. I also have a big surprise for you! Just, hurry, you're going to love it!"

EJ was so excited; Jude couldn't tell her she didn't want to go to the party. She slowly drove back to G-Major and said a silent prayer Tommy wasn't she had a feeling he wouldn't be back for a while. She touched her eye-liner up and walked in. She was grabbed by EJ and practically dragged in the rest of the way.

"Jude, Jude, Jude! I'm so excited here for you!" Georgia came around the corner as she saw EJ practically jumping up and down.

"Jude, you couldn't go to this party alone!" She looked around the room excited as she continued on with her announcement. Jude was worried about what she might say next.

"I set you up on a date with Lucas Kelly!" EJ jumped up and down a little in her own excitement.

Jude shot Georgia a horrified expression. "Lucas Kelly? As in the boy diva of acting? Are you kidding me?" Jude looked at Georgia for support.

Georgia looked at EJ in shock. "She's right EJ; the boy has the biggest temper. Have you seen the tabloids? He gets in a fight...a lot."

EJ stopped smiling and looked from Georgia to Jude. "Do you know how hard it was to get Lucas Kelly? He's the "it" boy right now. Every girl wants him. So, yeah maybe he has a temper but he has a right to! Jude, this is huge! Do you know what type of publicity you'll be getting? Besides, the boy is gorgeous!" She smiled again grabbing Jude's hands.

Jude thought about what EJ said. Could it really be that bad? The guy was a huge famous actor not to mention he was sexy. Going to one little party together wouldn't hurt, would it? Jude remembered something Loren had told her and she knew she was going to this party with Lucas.

"Fine EJ, I'll do it!" Jude didn't smile asEJ screamed out in excitement. Georgia sent Jude a smile and went back to her office. She was a little worried about Jude going out with this guy but it was what she wanted.

EJ grabbed Jude into a room and started randomly throwing things at her. It wasn't exactly a formal party so Jude didn't have to dress up too much. She ended up picking something simple and leaving her hair down. When EJ had suggested heels she quickly put them down by the look on Jude's face.

"EJ, is he picking me up? Um, how is this going to work?" Jude was oddly feeling nervous as EJ continued to pick at her clothes making sure everything was alright.

"No, silly, where going to go and then he'll meet you outside. You'll meet and greet and then you'll make your grand entrance together. It's going to be so perfect!" She clapped her hands together and grabbed Jude's purse. "Come on, the boys are probably in the limo already." She led Jude outside to the stretch limo she had outside. Jude was shoved in and she looked around. Georgia was with Darius and Kyle and Wally were already there with their girlfriends. Dave the new lead guitarist and Mason sat together talking. Jude congratulated Mason.

Jude looked out the window the whole ride thinking about Tommy and Alexandria. Her mind still couldn't grasp it. She hadn't spoken to him since the incident. She thought it strange he wouldn't event try to contact her.

As they pulled up to the meeting place Jude was beyond nervous. It seemed as though she could feel every emotion except the good ones. Everyone got of the limo and Jude climbed out last. EJ told the Mason to hurry up and the others to go in as she stayed outside with Jude waiting for Lucas. He was late. Not to mention, they were already late for the party. Jude was a little angry as he pulled up 10 minutes later in a red Saleen S7 Twin Turbo. Music blared from the car and something told Jude she wasn't going to like him very much.

Jude's anger washed away as he climbed out of the Saleen. She had never seen a more than beautiful creature. He was perfectly sculpted in all the right places as he made his way over to her. He smiled with perfectly white teeth and Jude couldn't help but feel something. His jet black hair was even done perfectly. Everything about him was perfect. She couldn't help but smile like a little child. EJ looked satisfied as he walked over to the two.

"You must be Jude. You're even more beautiful than your pictures. Sorry about being late. Better late than early right?" He smiled his perfect smile again and Jude flushed. EJ couldn't help but laugh at Jude's reaction.

He held out his arm so he could escort her inside and Jude quickly looped her arm in his. She had to admit she was happy to even be near him. She completely lost herself being around him. She mouthed a thank you to EJ as she made her way inside the party with Lucas. They were bombarded with paparazzi outside the place and inside they got some stares. It seemed all the girls even the ones with boyfriend were completely jealous.

Lucas led Jude over to a table and pulled out the chair for her. She smiled and they sat staring at each other for a while. Mason's CD blared in the background and the place was packed. Jude smiled at Mason as he looked her way making his way around the party. She looked back over at Lucas and noticed he was staring at her as he took a sip of his drink.

"You're beautiful. You know that?" He smiled at her again as he had a glint in his eyes.

Jude felt her knees go weak. She couldn't believe someone could have this effect on her. She didn't know how to respond. "Uh, you're beautiful too." She quickly felt embarrassed as she saw the smile on his face.

"I know." He sat back as he kept staring at Jude with that look and she didn't know what to think. She turned her attention from him when she noticed Sadie in a corner with Kwest. Sadie saw Jude and ran over as soon as she did. She grabbed Jude into a hug before Jude could even get up.

"We're back together! You were right Jude! I'm so happy!" Sadie stopped screaming as she noticed none other than Lucas Kelly sitting across from Jude. Sadie felt her knees weaken but quickly recovered. "Are you going to introduce me Jude?" Sadie smiled at Jude in approval. She knew Tommy would die if he saw Jude with Lucas.

Jude actually smiled and introduced the two. She even felt a little twinge of jealousy when Lucas gave Sadie the look he was giving Jude earlier. Sadie quickly hugged Jude again and she whispered in her ear, "Use protection!" Sadie walked away quickly laughing at the expression on Jude's face.

Jude and Lucas sat at the table for a while just getting to know each other. Lucas didn't seem that bad and she didn't see the diva everyone talked about. He in a way reminded her of Tommy. Except Lucas was a lot more open with himself. If he had feelings for her he would let her know and he did.

"Jude, you're funny, gorgeous, and professional. I like you a lot; this little set up wasn't a bad idea." Jude smiled at him and ate up his words. She needed that, someone to tell her things like that. Tommy never seemed to be able to. He reached across the table and put his hands over hers, she didn't move hers.

"So, Lucas, tell me why you beat up Orlando Bloom at the MTV Movie Awards." She laughed remembering when she heard about it. Lucas had stormed on stage when he and his costar didn't win best kiss. He actually punched Orlando in the face.

Lucas laughed remembering himself. "Oh, don't ask about that! It wasn't my fault, I was a little drunk. I don't have a temper." He smiled at Jude and she couldn't help but believe him. He excused himself from her and went to get them some more drinks.

Jude looked around and took the opportunity to go and call Tommy. She got up from the table and walked over to the quietest corner she could find. She pulled out her phone and started scrolling down the numbers. She finally found Tommy's and she pressed send, the phone began ringing. She put the phone to her ear and heard Tommy pick up, as he said hello it sounded like he was at a party. As Jude was about to say something she felt the phone yanked out of her hand. She turned around and saw Lucas closing it.

"Dance with me." Jude was a little in shock as she let Lucas lead her back to the table. He put her phone down and led her out to the dance floor. A slow song came on and he didn't even wait to hear if Jude wanted to dance or not. He pulled her closer to him and put one hand on her lower back. Jude finally came out of her trance and she began dancing with him. She closed her eyes and let him take the lead. She was pretty impressed by his dancing and she felt it easy to dance with him. She put her head on his shoulder. She knew she was falling for Lucas.

Someone tapped Lucas on his shoulder and he stopped dancing. He turned and noticed it was Tommy Quincy. "May, I cut in. I need to talk to Jude." Jude's head quickly jerked up and she opened her eyes. She examined the distraught Tommy before her.

Lucas looked at Tommy angrily and kept his grip on Jude. Tommy grew a little impatient and grabbed Jude's arm. Jude was in shock as Tommy pulled her aside. She yanked her arm out of his grasp. "What the hell Tommy? What do you want?" She crossed her arms and looked at him.

Tommy took a deep breath and looked at her. "Alexandria's pregnant." She felt her world come crashing down around her. Every happy moment she was feeling had suddenly been shot to hell. She felt a little dizzy as she looked around the room. She couldn't believe Tommy had actually done it. He had gotten another woman pregnant. All the dreams Jude had of being with him were over, washed away. The reality hit hard.

Tommy touched Jude's arms in concern. "Are you alright Jude?" He had been just as upset when he had found out but it broke his heart to see Jude's reaction.

Jude blinked hard her eyes becoming clouded by tears. She barely heard what Tommy said. She shook her head. "Yeah I'm fine. I'm great, why wouldn't I be?" She let out a laugh as the tears began to fall. Tommy pulled her into a hug. She cried into his shoulder. Alexandria stood in a corner of the party witnessing Tommy and Jude.

Lucas was getting jealous as he witnessed what was going on between Tommy and Jude. He began making his way over there but was stopped by a crazy blonde. It was none other than his ex. "Lucas, I love you! You have to talk to me!" Loren blocked Lucas' path as he tried to make his way over to Tommy and Jude. People began staring at Loren and Lucas.

Lucas crossed his arms and looked at Loren in annoyance. He couldn't believe he had actually been engaged to her once. He had dumped her and she never seemed to be able to get over it. "Loren, stop making a fool out of yourself."

Loren held up her hands as he began trying to walk away. "NO! YOU'RE HERE WITH JUDE!" Everyone had begun staring as they heard Loren's screaming. Jude had lifted her head from Tommy's shoulder as she witnessed what was going on. She knew Loren and Lucas had gone out.

"You're right I am! I got over my slut phase." He pushed by her and made his way over to Jude and Tommy. He shot a dirty glance at Tommy and put his arm around Jude. He led her out of the party through the back. Lucas stopped and looked at Jude. He cupped her face in his hands and wiped her tears. "Let's go for a walk."

Jude and Lucas began walking around the parking lot and he told her all about what went down between him and Loren. He then asked her about what was going on between her and Tommy. Jude hesitantly told him everything and he listened in silence. She instantly felt better as she finished.

"Are you in love with him?" Lucas looked over at Jude with a blank expression on his face. Jude didn't hesitate to answer.

"I was... I thought I was. But, no, not anymore. It never was and never will be." She looked over at Lucas sadly.

Lucas put his arm around her and led her to his Saleen. "Let me take you home." Jude laughed out as she thought about where her home was.

Lucas and Jude drove silently to Tommy's penthouse. She thanked him for the ride. She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. As the door lifted up on her side she went to get out. He grabbed her arm and pulled her back. Jude fell back into the seat and he kissed her lightly on the lips. He smiled at her as he pulled away. She looked at him in shock for a little but then smiled back at him. She wasn't sure if she was ready for a relationship but Lucas was sweet. He wrote his phone number on Jude's arm and told her to call him.

Jude made her way up to the empty house and thought about the night. She had mixed feelings about everything. She made her way upstairs and stopped to write Lucas' phone number down on paper. She walked into the bathroom and got ready for bed. As she finished she came out in her pjs. She turned on her radio and sat down on the bed. She listened to the song that had come on and felt herself connecting with the lyrics. She began singing along.

_Well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see _

She sat back against the headboard and pulled out her pen. She began writing down her own lyrics on her arm.

_This is my heart bleeding before you; this is me down on my knees _

She continued singing along with the lyrics she knew feeling herself understanding them perfectly.

_These foolish games are tearing me apart _

She loved this lyric and felt creativity pouring down into her. She began scribbling down quickly on her arm.

_Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart _

_You're breaking my heart_

She stopped and turned the radio off as she heard the door open downstairs. She knew Tommy was home. She quietly made her way out of the room and stood near the stair case. She heard him talking to someone. As she looked over the railing she realized it was Alexandria. She looked extremely upset and was listening to Tommy.

"Alex, I'm here for you in what ever decision you make." He looked over at her speaking honestly. He really just wanted to step up and take responsibility.

Alexandria hugged her stomach and looked over at him. "Are you in love with her? Are you in love with Jude?" She looked at Tommy desperately waiting for an answer.

Tommy blinked and looked away, "That has nothing to do with this. Jude has nothing to do with this." He kept his eye contact from her.

Alexandria bit her lip and finally snapped back. "Answer the question Tom! Are you in love with her?" She once again waited desperately for him to answer.

Tommy sighed and finally answered quietly. Jude strained to hear him. "Yes...I think I am." He looked down as Alexandria exhaled loudly. Jude held onto the railing for support.

Alex looked over at Tommy in rage. "I knew it!" She turned her back to him and ran her hands through her hair.

Tommy walked closer to her. "Okay, but what does that have to do with anything?" He put a hand on her shoulder.

Alexandria put her hands over her face and remained with her back to him. She cried into her hands and inhaled deeply. As she let the breath out she took her hands off her face and wiped the tears away. She pushed her hair out of her face and turned to face him. She didn't look at him as she spoke. "Tommy...I lied."

Tommy looked at her confused, "What, what, what are you talking about?" He got closer as he tried to look her in the eye.

Her eyes remained on the ground as she answered him. "I'm not pregnant. I lied." She put her arms around her stomach again and refused to look at him.

A look of disgust came over Tommy's face. He couldn't believe she had actually lied to him. "How could...what? How could you do this to me? Do you know what you've caused?" He still couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I thought the doctor said you were!"

Alexandria finally looked at him. "When the doctor called he said I wasn't. But, you were just being so sweet Tommy." She turned her back to him again.

Tommy looked at her in disbelief. He thought of all the damage she caused that could have been avoided. He thought of Jude and became enraged. "Get out! Just get out of here! I can't believe you!"

Alexandria turned to look at him and let out another whimper. Tommy looked at her with no remorse and walked over to the door. He opened the door and held it open for her.

Alexandria walked towards the door. "Tommy...I'm..." She stopped as Tommy put his hand up silencing her. He just shook his head letting her know he didn't want to hear it. She wrapped her arms around her stomach again and walked out with her head hung low.

Tommy sighed and shut the door. He put his back against and looked up. He noticed an upset Jude staring down at him.

She let go of the railing and walked back to her room. She slammed the door shut. Tommy bumped his head back on the door.

Everything was a mess and he didn't know how to clean it up.

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****Alright my luvers, that's all. I hope you guys liked it. I did. Anyway, I own nothing except Loren and Lucas Kelly. Hehe. For Lucas just imagine the hottest guy you've ever seen.**

**Anyway, let's see where this story goes. I know I have some surprise coming along. You'll have to wait and see.**

**Song was "Foolish Games" by Jewel. Nice song but only the lyrics I used really applied to the situation.**

**Anyway, go REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**

**Luv you Loren. I luv you PixieStix also! You rock! Ah, I really need to start editing. Oh well, you guys waited long enough! **

**Yay!**

**-Belle**


	14. Unhealthy Obsession

**Okay, here I go. People are waiting for me to update. So, here I go.**

**You probably wonder why I don't have much to say. Why else? I've just finishing reading the first chapter of this amazing story...**

**NATURAL DISASTER! By, SCENTED CANDL3S! This story is freaking amazing. It only has one chapter but what a chapter. I mean, you guys have trusted my judgment before. This story...well it's a little different. But, that's why I love it. Jude hasn't won Instant Star, but has been having an affair with her sister's fiancé for the past three weeks. All I can spell out for this story is...HOTT! Besides, I have prior knowledge (Hence from reading Loren's reviews) that this girl likes Consequences. She has good taste and good writing! You really need to check this story out. Eleven reviews are not fucking enough! Okay, I'll calm down. But, I feel passionate about this. Well, considering I just finished reading it. But, it is a little uh...raunchy. ;-)**

**CONSEQUENCES! She has a new chapter, yeah baby! It's was freaking amazing! It was my favorite chapter by far! If you haven't read this story, you better hurry and catch up!**

**INSPIRATION OF THE PAST, by MAZKALNS! Okay, she still hasn't posted damn it! But, it still rocks my socks! Go check it out. Hurry, maybe she'll finally do me a favor and post!**

**JUDE AND TOMMY INSTANT LOVE FOREVER? By, TOMMYSGURL101. Now, she has actually posted. You should check it out. Her story is funny. Sadie...is well something else.**

"**Zipped up my boots and I'm ready to ride..."**

**Okay, you'll see that a little later. Anyway, off I go. Although, I keep finding myself running off to read Scented's first chapter again, lol. See what it'll do to you!**

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Chapter 14: **_Unhealthy Obsession_**

Jude woke up and slowly climbed out of bed. She wished everything that had happened was a dream but it wasn't. Jude looked at the clock and it read 11am. She walked into the bathroom and got ready for the dreaded day ahead. She wondered if Tommy was awake or not. She knew he typically wasn't a morning person. She didn't want to see him. After what she found out last night, seeing him was the last thing she wanted to do.

She quietly tip-toed out of the bedroom and made her way silently downstairs. She knew Tommy was in the shower because she heard him. She quickly grabbed a Pop-tart and her keys. She silently made her way out of the door as soon as Tommy came out of his bedroom.

She drove over to the studio in a daze and almost felt like she was a robot. What was her life becoming? Was it the way she wanted it to be? She had almost become numb inside. She didn't feel anything. She only knew what she didn't want to feel. She couldn't let herself fall for Tommy again.

She pulled into G-Major and followed her daily routine. She walked in and poured herself a cup of coffee. She was hungry but didn't feel like eating. The thought of food made her feel like throwing up. She leaned against one of the cabinets and silently sipped her coffee. She was snapped out of her thoughts as Georgia came out of her office and acknowledged Jude with a smile.

"Jude, you have a delivery in Studio A. You should go see it; it's a pretty big package." She smiled at Jude and practically pushed her towards Studio A. Jude sighed and made her way over to the studio. She wondered what could possibly be in it that was so important.

Jude pushed the door open and made her way inside. She gasped as she looked around. The whole place was covered in roses. Everywhere she looked she saw red roses. The mike where she sang was even decorated in flowers. She gasped a little in shock as she saw someone wheel around Tommy's chair. The chair Tommy always sat in was occupied by none other than Lucas. He smiled at Jude and held out a single white lily. In the room surrounded by red, it looked gorgeous.

Jude was in shock she didn't even know what to say. "Lucas...Oh my God..." She continued to look around the room in shock. They had only been on one date and he was already treating her special. She could get used to it.

Lucas got up and made his over to Jude. He smiled down at her and pulled her into a hug. "Good morning." He laughed as he pulled away and noticed she was still in shock. "Why are you so surprised? I told you I liked you."

As Jude opened her mouth to say something she was interrupted by Tommy walking into the studio. He looked around in disgust. He then stopped and turned his attention to Jude. They looked at each other silently for a good while. Lucas sensed the tension between them and intervened. "Jude, do you want an early lunch? Or, a late breakfast?" He smiled down at her and handed her the lily he still held.

Once again Jude was cut off. "Jude we need to get to work. By the way, what the hell is this?" He looked over at Lucas, "this is a place of work. You can take your little flower garden else where. And don't ever, ever go near any of my studios again." Tommy looked over at the couch that he and Jude had made out on two previous times before. Jude followed his gaze and knew what he was thinking about.

Jude shook her head of the thoughts and looked at Lucas. "I say an early lunch." He smiled and put out his arm. She looped her arm in his and smiled up at him. She tried not to look at Tommy. They left the room and left a miserable Tommy in a garden of roses.

Lucas led Jude out to his bright yellow Lamborghini Gallardo. "Hey, where's your Saleen?"

"That was just one of my cars, I have over 100. I collect cars." He smiled over at her with the smile that just made her melt. They drove silently to a nice little cozy restaurant. They quickly made it inside and were seated almost immediately. Jude looked over the menu and listened to Lucas as he spoke. She found herself liking everything about him. He wasn't just a pretty face he had actual thoughts and was passionate about acting.

They ordered their drinks and waited for the waitress to bring them. As the waitress bought back their drinks she set them down on the table. Lucas looked at the drink and realized it wasn't what he asked for. "Hey, this isn't what I ordered!" He handed the drink up to the waitress and she looked at it. "Yes, it is, Sir." Lucas slammed the cup back down on the table almost breaking it. "Don't get smart with me! I said this isn't what I ordered; go bring it back, now! Don't sass me again. Matter of fact, forget it. Jude let's get out of here." Jude was in shock as she saw the rage in Lucas. So, the tabloids were right, he has a temper. She quietly apologized to the waitress and followed Lucas out.

They made their way back to his Lamborghini. Jude sat in silence thinking about the restaurant. Lucas reached over and grabbed her hand. "Sorry about that earlier. I sort of blew up on that waitress and it ruined our lunch." Jude nodded silently at him and looked out of the window again.

Lucas dropped her off at the studio and she knew she might have to face Tommy. She walked in and was greeted by a happy EJ holding a bouquet of flowers. "Jude, have I mentioned I love you! Look at these beautiful flowers Lucas gave me for setting you two up. He's the greatest you know that?" EJ smiled at Jude.

Jude smiled back. She knew Lucas was great. He was almost too great. "Yeah, he is amazing. I've never had someone like me so much." Just thinking about Lucas made Jude happy. He wanted her. For once she was wanted badly.

"Anyway, I have good news. Pepsi wants you to be their spokes model. Basically, you'll be in all the Pepsi commercials! This is pretty huge so I signed you up. By the way, the tabloids just love you and Lucas together." EJ actually looked very happy. As though she was proud of Jude, it made Jude feel good.

"That's good. Wait, isn't Loren doing Coke-Cola commercials? Is that why they want me?" She had seen a couple of Loren's commercials on T.V.

"Yes, that's exactly why they want you. Two soda company rivals and the two singer rivals. Makes sense doesn't it? Besides, we all know Pepsi commercials air more! I say you take off and celebrate." EJ walked away clutching her clipboard and the flowers.

Jude sighed and ran her hand through her frazzled hair. She looked around and bit her lip trying to decide on what she should do. She noticed Tommy walk out of Studio A and throw the rest of the remaining flowers in the trash. He stopped when he noticed Jude. He motioned for Jude to come on.

Jude sighed and walked over to the studio. It was now or never she might as well get it over with. She made her way in and silently shut the door. She looked over at him sitting by the soundboard. She instantly regretted her decision, she wished Kwest were there. She put her hand on the doorknob and was ready to leave as Tommy spoke.

"Jude we need to talk. If you walk out the door it won't change what you heard last night. It won't change a thing." He kept the chair turned towards the soundboard as he spoke quietly.

Jude sighed in defeat as she turned around. "What is there to talk about? I don't have a new song; there is no reason for me to be here. I didn't hear a thing last night. All I know is you must be pretty damn happy at least one of your whores isn't pregnant." She slammed the door open and quickly walked out of it.

Jude left and made her way to what was now her home. It was strange having to come to the place she wanted to be last. She went upstairs and quickly took a long bath. She got out and got dressed in a green dress. She thought maybe she could go out tonight. As she was putting on her star ring she heard her cell ringing. She walked out of the bathroom and picked it up.

Jude had a short but pleasant conversation with Kat. Kat basically told Jude to jump Lucas and forget all about Tommy. Jude laughed the whole time but almost considered everything she was saying. Lucas was perfect. Why not go for it? She just couldn't erase what she heard Tommy say last night. But, why, why couldn't he just say it to her?

Jude pulled out her phone and called Lucas. She needed to be with someone who could just be open with her. She called him and in just 10 minutes she heard someone knocking on the door. She loved that about him. She found herself loving everything about him. She ran her hand through her hair and opened the door. Lucas came in and kissed her on the forehead. He looked around the place and frowned when he noticed it was Tommy's penthouse. He didn't know that.

"Wait, this is Tommy's place? You're living with him? I thought you weren't together." Jude could see the flash of disappointment wash over his face. He looked like a little boy who had something he loved taken away from him.

"We aren't together. He's just giving me a place to stay. This reminds me I should search for my own apartment. It's just been hard you know?" She looked over at Lucas and couldn't read his expression.

Jude smiled at him and he quickly returned the smiled. "So, do you want something to drink?" She went to get him a Pepsi and handed it to him. As she was handing him the cup her hand slipped and she ended up spilling the Pepsi all over his white t-shirt. Lucas laughed when he saw how worried she looked. "Don't worry about it. This place has a washer right?" Jude nodded and looked around the apartment in confusion. Lucas took his jacket off and slipped his shirt off. Jude dropped the cup and it broke as she stared at him with his shirt off. Lucas smiled at her as she embarrassedly went to pick the glass pieces up. He put his hand over hers to stop her.

"Let me do that. You just wash this." He handed her the shirt and almost laughed as she flushed looking over his perfectly sculpted chest. She quickly went to wash the shirt. She went back and noticed he had cleaned up the whole mess. She thanked him and felt awkward as he stood there with his shirt off. She wanted to give him one of Tommy's shirts but that would have been a little weird. She instead went to go put the shirt in the drier after it was done. They sat on the couch and talked about his upcoming movie as they waited for the shirt to dry.

The buzzer for the drier sounded and Jude went to go get the shirt. She came back and Lucas stood up. She handed him the shirt and he grabbed onto it. She was going to let go but he tugged on the shirt pulling her towards him. Before Jude could even grasp what was going on she felt Lucas' lips against her own. As she started to enjoy it they were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Jude pulled away as she noticed Tommy standing in the living room.

"Jude, when I let you move in here I didn't think you would be having sex here!" Jude couldn't look at Tommy as his voice dripped with venom. She looked over at Lucas and noticed he was oddly calm. He slipped his shirt back on and looked at Tommy.

"What's the matter there Quincy? She's just a friend right? You're just her producer." Lucas grabbed his jacket and walked towards the door. Jude walked after him. He turned around and kissed her on the cheek. His lips lingered on her cheeks for a little too long as he kept his eyes on Tommy. Jude slowly shut the door as he left. She didn't want to turn around and look at Tommy.

"He isn't right for you Jude." Tommy's voice came out as a whisper and she could hear the hurt in it.

Jude turned to face him, "and you are? Tommy what do you expect me to do? Drop to my knees because I heard you tell someone you think you're in love with me? Well, that's not going to happen. I want to hear it from you. I want to feel it from you. I can't just be some thing you use whenever you feel like it!"

Tommy stepped closer to her and grabbed her hands. "I know Jude, and you're right. I have been wrong to you. But, I'm trying Jude. I'm really trying. Lucas Kelly is wrong for you. He's going to hurt you." He looked in her eyes pleadingly.

Jude looked away and grabbed her hands out of his grasp. "Oh, like you haven't already? No one can hurt me like you have Tommy, time and time again. I want you to say it!" She worked up her courage and looked up at him boldly. "I want you to tell me to my face. Just say it Tommy, say you love me." Tears started to fill her eyes and she knew they were daring to escape.

Tommy stepped closer to her once again and opened his mouth. It seemed as though he couldn't say it. She let out a whimper and moved away from him as his hands went out to touch her. She fell against the door and scrambled to stay up. The tears finally escaped her eyes and clouded her vision. She wasn't imagining things, she was right, Tommy didn't love her.

Tommy stepped closer to her and grabbed her arms. He pulled her up helping her stand properly. He let go of her arms and instead put his hands on her back pulling her closer to him. He pulled her into a hug and put his chin on her head. Jude started to push him away but he only pulled her back. She eventually collapsed against him and continued crying. Tommy stroked her hair and wouldn't let her go.

Jude unburied her head from his chest and once again pushed him off with all the strength she could muster. She fell back against the door in doing so. She was determined for her to hear him out. "Why Tommy, just tell me why? Why can't you love me? Why am I so damn unlovable? Why can't you just want me as much as I want you Tommy? Why?" She slammed her back against the door as she asked him the questions. She felt the tears slide down her cheeks and slip off her jaw line. "Why can't you just ever let me in!" She pushed him in the chest hard as she asked the last question. Tommy didn't move much and it caused her to fall against him again.

Tommy held onto Jude and helped her up again. She looked up at him as she gripped onto his shirt. Her cheeks were stained with tears yet she never looked more beautiful to him. He let his arms slide down to her hips and he held them firmly there as he kissed her cheeks. The right one softly over the tears and then the left. Jude closed her eyes and wished he wouldn't continue. Wouldn't do it to her again.

He kissed her forehead and she let out a whimper finally being able to speak. "Tommy, please...Don't." Her voice broke and she didn't continue on. Tommy moved one of his hands over her lower back and swiftly pulled her body closer into his. She put her hands on his shoulders and tried to push him away but it didn't work. She felt tired from the crying.

When Tommy's lips touched Jude's she stopped fighting. She kept her hands at her sides and didn't exactly kiss back. Tommy held onto her arms and pulled her closer. She couldn't help but feel something with the way he kissed her. So much passion, yearning... She couldn't help but start to kiss back. She felt the tears slide down her cheeks as she continued to kiss him. He let go of her arms and she wrapped them around his neck. He grabbed onto her hips as he continued to kiss her. She felt his tongue invade her mouth and it was if something exploded inside her. She urged her body against his more and he almost collapsed into her.

Jude fell back against the wall as Tommy leaned into her. She grabbed onto his shoulders briefly and pulled her legs up wrapping them around his waist. He grabbed onto her thighs and held her up. Her arms went back around his neck as he lifted her off of the wall. Tommy started to walk backwards as he held onto Jude's thighs and kissed her.

Tommy stopped as he met the steps. He looked in back of him and slowly started to climb up the steps backwards. Jude looked over Tommy's shoulder and looked down at the stairs. Their cheeks brushed against each other and Jude moved her face to look at Tommy. As he looked at her he lightly kissed the top of her nose and smiled.

Jude smiled and put one of her hands on Tommy's cheek. This is exactly the kind of thing she needed. When she was with him she felt whole. When he was treating her this way she felt good. She put her hand back around his neck and kissed him again. As Tommy kissed her back he lost his footing and fell back on the steps. Jude stayed against him and was now in a straddling position. She looked down at him with concern. "Ow. You need to kiss me to make it feel better."

Jude smiled down at him as he laid back on the step and she arched over to kiss him. She met his lips and he started to kiss her passionately again. He gripped onto her thighs and she pressed her body onto his. He devoured her lips and grazed his tongue against them. Jude opened her mouth wider and pressed her body against his more if it was even possible. His hands rubbed up against her thighs and moved up to her hips. He gripped onto them protectively, as if she would leave at any moment. It almost hurt but Jude was too absorbed in the kiss to care.

As Tommy broke the kiss to get up again and continued their conquest to his bedroom, Jude began to think. She was doing it again; she was letting Tommy have all of the control. She couldn't let herself fall for him again. As they finally made it upstairs Jude grabbed onto his shoulders for support and unwrapped her legs from around him. As her feet hit the ground she lightly pushed Tommy away from her. Tommy turned and looked at her with confusion on his face. He didn't understand what he had done wrong. Everything was fine moments before.

Jude wrapped her arms around her stomach and looked everywhere but back at Tommy. She turned her back to him and started to walk back to her bedroom. She could hear Tommy's footsteps coming closely behind her. She knew he wouldn't make it easy. He would want answers.

She made it inside her bedroom but didn't bother closing the door. She stopped in the middle of the room and brushed her fingers against her puffy lips. She heard Tommy come in behind her. "Jude what's wrong?" She could hear the concern in his voice.

Jude stayed with her back to him. She found herself confused; she didn't even know what to do anymore. But, why did it seem he only wanted her when she was willing to make- out with him. "Tommy this is what's wrong. This little cycle we have going here. You just want to have sex with me and don't say it isn't true!" She held back the tears that were creeping back again without ease. She worked up enough courage to finally just turn around and look at him. "Tommy fine, just have me and get it over with!" She was becoming angry. Here she was telling him all he wanted her was for sex and she didn't hear him protesting. She went over to the bed and sat down. She held out her arms and looked over at him. "Come and get it! I'm up for grabs." She looked at Tommy and could tell he was upset.

Tommy walked over to Jude and put her arms down looking at her. "I don't just want you for sex. I'm not Lucas. I actually care about you Jude, if you can't see that I'm sorry. This isn't easy for me!" He let go of her arms a little roughly and walked towards the nightstand. Jude always made things difficult.

"It's not? Well, let me make it easier for you." Jude slid down one of the straps on the green dress she was wearing. "Go ahead, do the rest!" The tears that her eyes were filled with finally began to spill out. She went and slid down the other strap.

Tommy grew frustrated with her and went towards her. Jude stopped and looked up at him, as if she were expecting him to pounce on her. He instead went and put his hands on her shoulders. He looked down at her with an unreadable expression as he slowly slid the straps of her dress back up. "Jude, I'm not going to use you like that." He turned his back to her. Jude got up and pushed him into the nightstand. She began walking to the bathroom but Tommy came up behind her and sort of hugged her from behind. She fell against his chest and she could feel his breath on the back of her neck. "Jude I..." Jude closed her eyes waiting, just waiting for him to say what she longed to hear.

Tommy let her go and she opened her eyes. She turned around to face him. Tommy couldn't look in her in the eyes. Jude's hurt was beyond describable. She couldn't believe that he couldn't even say it.

Jude let out a whimper and quickly walked by him. Tommy grabbed her arm but she pulled it out of his grasp and kept walking. She ran down the stairs and pulled out her cell phone once she reached the living room. She walked away from the stairs as she heard Tommy coming. She felt sick; she didn't even know what to do. She couldn't face him.

Tommy slowly came down the stairs and saw the distraught Jude on her cell phone. She paced around the living room and he knew it was an attempt to keep from breaking down. It broke his heart to see her like that but he didn't know what to do. He heard her say Lucas' name and stiffened.

Jude let the tears fall as she explained to Lucas he had to come get her. "Lucas, can you please come get me. I don't feel too good." Jude put a hand on her stomach as she continued pacing the living room. She chose to ignore the staring Tommy.

Lucas listened on the other end and he knew it had to do with Tommy. He knew something had gone down between the two but he chose to ignore the tone of Jude's voice. "We can spend some time together. I'll come get you. I'll just have to cancel this charity event. Those cancer patients can wait." Jude was too much a mess to even realize he was trying to make a joke. Or, so she thought. She hung up the phone with Lucas and continued to pace around.

Tommy walked the rest of the way down and stood in front of her. She stopped walking but refused to look at him. She instead started pace back and fourth the other way, so he wouldn't be in her way. Tommy stopped trying and instead watched her. She fixed her hair and rubbed her eyes ignoring Tommy's gaze. He noticed how she jumped when there was a knock at the door.

Tommy turned to look at her as she went to go open it. He grabbed her arm knowing she was going to be with Lucas. She pushed him with her other hand pulling out of his grasp. "Tommy you had your chance. Now, you lost me." She opened the door and greeted Lucas walking down to the elevator with him. She left the door open on purpose.

Tommy walked over and watched in dismay as Jude walked away with Lucas. He knew she was mad and that it would be awkward. He just didn't know how awkward.

He had no idea that for two months, two months Jude would avoid at him at all cost. That for two months she would actually become _his_.

Not Tommy's, Lucas'. In two months she would really be with Lucas. That in two months every thing would change. The storm was only brewing. The unhealthy obsession was just beginning.

**

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****Alright, you guys hate me I bet. This chapter was pretty short. I don't know. I didn't know what to do. I just want to get to the other chapters already. I know have some shocks coming up there.**

**Anyway, just REVIEW. I really appreciate everyone and all of the reviews I've been getting. You guys have been really great. Thanks! Sorry, I took so long to update.**

**REVIEW! **

**(Loren!) Shh, don't say it! Speaking of the real Loren, this reminds me the Loren in my story shall be coming up some time again. Just wait and see! **

**;-)**

**-Belle**


	15. The Storm

**I feel like writing something depressing! So, I though, hey, why not write me story? I mean you guys know you want it!**

**NATURAL DISASTER! By, SCENTED CANDL3S! Come on, I don't even need to spell it out for you. This story is hot! I can't wait until she updates! It's a very intriguing story!**

**CONSEQUENCES! Ah, just thinking about me gives me that feeling! Makes me want to go read the new chapter over and over again. So freaking hot! I mean, it makes you want to review like 2 and half pages! ;-)**

**INSPIRATION OF THE PAST, by MAZKALNS! This story rocks my socks! I hope she'll update soon! But, I'm not mad, she's taking her time. That's good. **

**JUDE AND TOMMY INSTANT LOVE FOREVER? By, TOMMYSGURL101. Funny and cute story she should really check it out. The author's such a sweetheart. Love her really!**

**Alright, I have an odd sensation to start singing! Maybe, I'll sing while I write this chapter. Hmm, interesting!**

**Loren! ...**

**By the way, this is two months after the last chapter...**

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Chapter Fifteen: **_The Storm_**

Jude walked into Studio A in a hurry. She knew this was the second time this week she was late. She never really saw much of Tommy except in the studio. She would always come home really late and wake up really early or really late. Every time she did see Tommy he wouldn't say much. She was in a somewhat happy relationship with Lucas. But, she couldn't seem to be all the way happy.

Tommy took his headphones off and twirled his chair to look at Jude. He was surprised she had made it at all. In the past two months they hadn't gotten anything done. He never saw her at home and when he usually did see her she was with Lucas. "Jude, you're late again. Where were you last night? I didn't hear you come in. Did you stay out late with Lucas? He isn't good for you Jude."

Jude sighed and sat down on the couch she probably shouldn't have. "Tommy, please. I don't want to hear this from you. Can we just drop it please? Lucas is my boyfriend and that's the way it's going to be. You're not my father." She sat back on the couch and closed her eyes.

Tommy rolled his chair so that he was directly in front of her. "Jude, do you even have a song? Let me guess you don't. Your album is half finished; Georgia has been bothering me for a new song here. Ever since you got with Lucas your inspiration flew out of the window! Let's just write a song and you can run back to your precious boyfriend."

Jude put a hand over her eyes. She was tired from staying out so late with Lucas. He loved to party and that's all he would ever do with Jude was bring her to parties. Last night was particularly bad because he had gotten drunk. He had gotten a little physical with her but she knew it was only because he was drunk. She had taken him home and helped him get to sleep.

As she put her hand over her eyes Tommy noticed her bruised wrist. He reached over and grabbed her hand. Jude flinched and opened her eyes. Tommy ran his fingers lightly over her wrist. He looked up at her. "How the hell did this happen Jude?" He had a pretty good idea how. He wanted to hear from Jude what had happened.

Jude grabbed her hand back and put her other hand over her wrist. "It was nothing. I was at a party last night and I sort of got drunk. This guy started to get a little rough with me but Lucas beat him up." She knew she was lying but it was so she could protect Lucas. He hadn't done anything wrong but Tommy wouldn't see it that way.

Tommy stared at her and tried to figure out if she was lying. "So, it wasn't Lucas? I swear Jude, if it was Lucas you better tell me." He looked at her seriously and Jude never saw him more upset about something.

Jude shook her head weakly. "I said he defended me Tommy. You just want an excuse to beat him up. By the way, you're the last person I want to write a song with! I'm leaving, I'll just write the stupid song myself." She got up and left the studio quickly. She had to go to lunch with Kyle and Wally anyway.

Jude walked into the restaurant and was greeted by Kyle and Wally. They didn't bother to wait for her and were already eating their second plate of food. Jude was too absorbed in thought to hear what they were saying, she kept thinking about the way Lucas acted last night.

"Jude, hello!" Kyle waved his hand in Jude's face and brought her back down to reality. "Jude, we need to talk about the lead guitarist G-Major got..."

Wally chimed in agreement, "yeah, he acts really strange."

Jude took a sip of her drink and looked over at Kyle and Wally; they really looked troubled about the whole situation. She instantly felt guilty for all the drama that had happened with Speed. "Well, what do you mean he acts strange?"

Wally looked over at Kyle and he spoke. "Well, he never wants to do guy stuff. I mean, like we would want to play football or something and he would rather touch up his mascara. By the way, yeah, he wears eyeliner and mascara."

Jude laughed at the looks on their faces. She didn't know why they were so upset. Dave was really nice and actually came back after they replaced him with Speed.

Wally looked over at Kyle and then at Jude, he finally spoke. "Well, he sort of touched me on my butt and it was weird. I mean, and he said he goes with Mason. What does he mean by that?"

Jude spit out the drink all over the place. She quickly put her hand over her mouth and looked at Kyle and Wally in shock. She was the only person that knew Mason was gay. She knew exactly what Dave had meant by that. She started laughing as Kyle and Wally looked at her in confusion.

Jude finally calmed down and looked at them with a smile. She patted Wally on the head. "Don't take it so personally guys. He's just _different._" She laughed at the confusion on their faces again.

As time passed Jude looked down at her phone and realized it was off. She switched it on and it made some beeping noise. She realized she had 15 missed calls from Lucas. She looked at her phone in shock. She became worried that something may be wrong with him. She excused herself from the table and went outside. She dreaded calling him but she knew it was something she had to get over with.

Before she could say hello Lucas spoke into the phone. He sounded worried and his voice dripped in desperation. She never heard him sound that way. "Jude, honey, I'm so sorry about last night. I barely remember. But, I'm so sorry. We need to talk. Where are you?"

Jude sighed as she heard yet another apology from Lucas. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Usually he would just snap at her or make a rude comment. Last night was different; he had never gotten physical with her. But, despite how he acted Jude couldn't help but always fall hard for him. Every time she heard his voice her heart would stop.

She was exhausted, just exhausted from it all. The arguing and fights were wearing her down. "Lucas, I'm at lunch with Kyle and Wally." As soon as she said it she knew she made a mistake. Lucas didn't like it when she was out with other guys. Let alone guys she worked with.

She could hear the change in Lucas' voice. "Well, I'm sorry they're more important than your boyfriend! I didn't know you were banging them on the side. Here I was feeling sorry when you were cheating on me the whole time." She could hear the venom oozing out of his voice. This was the Lucas she feared.

"Lucas, I'm sorry. They're my band mates, I can't exactly ignore them." After some talking she finally gave in and told Lucas where she was at. He told her he would come pick her up. She instead told him to meet her at the studio space.

She drove over to the studio space and waited for Lucas to arrive. She was a little nervous. A part of her was telling her to break up with him but the other part was telling her to hold on. As she was having the ongoing battle in her head Lucas came in.

Jude looked up at him as he walked closer to the couch. She was relieved to see he wasn't still mad. He instead had a wounded puppy look on his face. She had never seen him look so broken and it broke her heart. As he got closer he noticed her wrist. She could see him wince from the bruises.

He immediately walked over to her and kneeled down in front of her. He grabbed her hands and looked down at her wrist. He kissed each one where the bruises were. He looked up at her with the wounded look again. "Jude, I'm so sorry." He sounded sincere and Jude felt her stomach turning again.

He lifted one of his hands to her cheek and held it there. He looked at her with remorseful eyes. She could tell he was truly sorry. "Jude, please, please don't leave me. I was drunk; I don't what got into me." Jude leaned into his hand and looked down at him. She could feel the tears coming down her cheeks. She just didn't know what to do. She was so scared last night. She had a big bruise on her back she hadn't told anyone about.

Lucas got up from his position and paced around the room. He stopped and looked over at Jude. "Are you going to leave me?" She could swear it looked like he wanted to cry when he asked it.

Jude let out a whimper and covered her face with her hands. She let out a huge sigh and pondered on what she should do. She removed her hands and looked over at him. "I don't know."

As soon as she finished talking she could see Lucas start to pace around again. He seemed to be contemplating also. He stopped again and walked over to Jude. He kneeled down in front of her. "Jude, I need you! Please, don't leave me." He put his hand around her lower back and hugged her stomach. Jude looked down at him in shock. She had never seen him so emotional before. She put a hand on his head and ran her fingers through his hair softly. He moved his hands up and Jude let out a loud whimper. He had touched her where the bruise was.

He pulled away and looked up at her. "Jude, baby, what's wrong?" Jude got up from the couch and walked across the room. Lucas got up and followed her.

"This is what's wrong." Jude turned her back to him and lifted up her shirt. She could hear Lucas gasp at the black and blue bruise that was now formed on her back. It had been caused from when he grabbed her by the wrist and slammed her to the wall. He held her wrist above her head and kissed her all over. She swore he was going to rape her. If Loren hadn't walked in when she did he would have.

Lucas ran over to Jude and softly touched the bruise. She heard a sound that sounded like a whimper and turned around quickly. Lucas was close to tears. Jude couldn't believe what she was seeing. Lucas Kelly was actually breaking down in front of her. She began to cry as she looked at how helpless he looked. Jude stepped in closer and hugged him. She could tell he was fighting hard not to cry.

He smoothed down Jude's hair and breathed against her. He whispered in her ear, "Jude, I love you. I would die without you." Jude pulled away and looked at him. She couldn't believe that he loved her so much. She instantly felt guilty for being so mad about him doing something stupid while drunk. She wasn't exactly sober herself.

Lucas looked down at her and kissed her on the forehead. She leaned forward and in turn kissed him on the lips lightly. They walked over to the couch and stayed with each other for a while. Jude at some point had drifted to sleep.

She awoke from Lucas lightly shaking her. He shook her awake and she looked up to realize she had fallen asleep on him. He smiled down at her. "Hey, sleepyhead. I want you to come outside with me. I got you a gift."

Jude smiled and followed him outside. He put his hands over her eyes so she couldn't see anything. As he removed her hands she gasped out in shock at the gift he had gotten her. It was a red Saleen S7 Twin Turbo. Just like the one he had driven, and Jude knew from prior knowledge those were the most expensive cars in the world. "Lucas! Oh my God!" She turned around and jumped onto him squeezing him tight for the gift. She couldn't believe that someone could actually love her so much.

"It's all yours, girl." Lucas kissed her on the forehead again and led her to the car. He explained everything that was special about it. She noticed that he got the seats specially made with the words "Instant Star" on them. She couldn't even believe her eyes. No one had given her a gift so special before.

She spent a little while with Lucas driving around when she got an urgent call from EJ. Teen People Magazine wanted her on the cover of "25 Hottest Stars Under 25." Jude was in shock she couldn't believe that they actually wanted her. She was told by EJ if she didn't hurry up she wouldn't live to see tomorrow. She got the point and said her goodbyes to Lucas. She got in her new Saleen and drove as fast as she could to where EJ told her to be.

Jude pulled into the very full parking lot and looked around at all the cars. She got out of her car and went over to examine one car in particular. It looked extremely familiar. As she looked at the car she heard a voice from behind her.

"So, that must be the gift he got you to make it all feel better." Jude turned around in dismay to see Loren standing in front of her. She had her hands on her hips and didn't look too happy. She was examining the Saleen.

"Loren what are you doing here?" Jude crossed her arms as she looked at her. She could see her hair had grown back in and she didn't look so well. She looked very skinny. Jude almost felt concerned but the feeling washed away quickly.

"Jude, not that I care or anything but...You know what never mind. I'm here because Teen People Magazine wants me on the cover."

Jude challenged her gaze, "no, they want me on the cover." Before Loren could respond EJ came running out and grabbed Jude by the arm. She practically dragged Jude inside before she could even say anything. The place was pretty hectic as they were setting up the photo shoot area.

Loren came in after Jude, as people gave Jude some clothes to put on. They also gave Loren some clothes to put on as well. Jude looked around the room awkwardly; she didn't want to get dressed in front of Loren.

Loren didn't seem to care as she quickly started to put on the dress they had given her. Jude slowly started to take off her clothes and she could immediately see Loren looking at the bruise on her wrist. As Jude took off her shirt she heard what she thought was a gasp from Loren as she looked at the bruise on Jude's back. Jude awkwardly finished putting on the black dress they had given her. Loren silently stared at Jude and Jude put her arms around her stomach as she finished getting dressed. Loren opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by EJ dragging Jude away to hair and make-up.

Hours passed and day turned into night. She had taken a lot of photos with Loren for the cover and oddly enough Loren said nothing. She went and took her photos and then would just go off when they were finished. It seemed like she wanted to say something to Jude but she would always stop herself.

As Jude was leaving she could hear Loren following her. She walked out to her Saleen and ignored the following Loren. As Jude unlocked her door Loren finally spoke, "Jude, you should tell someone. It'll only get worse." Jude looked up in shock as Loren quickly got in her own car and drove away. What Loren had said had really disturbed her and she couldn't shake the horrible feeling that had come over.

She climbed in the Saleen and turned on her phone. She had 20 messages from Lucas. She called him and he explained he just was worried because he hadn't heard from her in over 3 hours. He wanted to see her but she declined and instead decided to actually go home early for once. She knew she would probably run into Tommy but she just wanted to be alone for the night.

Jude walked into the place and was greeted by silence. She went and put her things down and just sort of walked around the living room. She knew she should be writing a new song but she didn't feel like it. She walked over to the coffee table and set her new keys down. When she was setting them down she noticed three tabloids spread out on the table. As she looked at the cover of each she felt her knees go weak. She couldn't believe at what she was looking at before her. She fell back on the couch in shock and picked up one of the magazines. She looked at the picture of Alexandria on the cover. **"Top Model Gets Secret Abortion with Tommy Quincy's Love Child!" **Jude's heart stopped as she quickly flipped through the magazine and skimmed the article. Alexandria was pregnant. She had lied to Tommy about lying and had run off to get an abortion. Jude just looked around the apartment in shock and wondered where Tommy could possibly be.

Thoughts raced through Tommy's mind as he went to go confront Alexandria. It hadn't taken him long to find her and now he needed answers. He needed to know if it was true. How could she possibly lie to him about something like that? How could she go and get an abortion of his first child without even telling him? Tommy's mind raced with questions as he banged on the apartment number he knew was hers.

Alexandria stupidly opened the door without checking who it was. It was pretty late at night and she thought it was her boyfriend. As she opened the door she instantly regretted it. Tommy barged in without even being invited. Alexandria closed her robe tighter and turned to close the door. She looked miserable and Tommy could tell.

"Alex, is it true? Were you really pregnant?" She could tell Tommy actually seemed upset by the whole development and she didn't understand why.

"Yes, it's true. I did get an abortion. Isn't that what you wanted? You never wanted this baby and neither did I. I wasn't going to ruin my career to be a single mother!" She crossed her arms and tilted her head down letting her hair fall over her face. She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to open the 2 month old wound back up. Here was Tommy reopening it and pouring salt in it.

"Alex, I would have helped you take care of the baby! It was my baby too. I just wanted to be part of the decision making! How could you be so selfish?" Tommy looked sincere but Alexandria chose not to believe him. She was still bitter about the fact that he didn't want her.

"You wouldn't have helped me with the baby! You would have abandoned it. Tommy you love Jude! I thought that maybe when you found out I was pregnant you could think about someone other than your precious Jude! I was wrong! You would only have cared for this baby if it was your whore's!" She spat the last part at Tommy with hatred in her eyes.

Tommy walked over to her slowly but quickly grabbed her arms. Before he could know what he was doing he began shaking her a little roughly. "Don't you EVER, ever call Jude one of my whore's again! She isn't you!" He let her go roughly and she backed away from him starting to cry. She hugged herself touching her arms looking at him.

She wanted to say something that would hurt him and she came up with the perfect thing to say. "To bad she isn't even yours. Jude Kelly sure has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" She laughed out a little in disgust at the look across his face.

Tommy opened his mouth but closed it in defeat. She was right, Jude wasn't his. She was Lucas' and as much as he hated to admit it, Jude had moved on. He knew it was his fault for not being able to open himself to her but it wasn't much he could do. He looked over at Alexandria once last time and left the apartment. He didn't know what to do or where to go. After some driving he eventually ended up pulling into a bar.

Jude sat in her bedroom reading each of the magazine articles. She tried to call Tommy but he wouldn't answer his phone. She was becoming upset and wondered where he was at. She knew he probably needed someone to talk to and she had been so mean to him lately.

She heard a noise downstairs and knew Tommy was home. She ran down the stairs and saw a more than drunken Tommy making his way inside the house. He was stumbling all over the place. She ran over to him and grabbed one of his arms putting it over her shoulder. "Jude, I wanted to see you. I can walk!" He stumbled away from her and fell over the couch onto it.

Jude ran over to him and watched him climb onto the couch pathetically. He looked up at her through glazed over eyes. "Why don't you come join me?" He held out his arms open for Jude to join him on the couch.

She crossed her arms and looked over at him. She knew he was drunk and it wasn't much she could do. She instead went into the kitchen and began making some coffee. She knew he would need some so he wouldn't be so drunk. As she started making it she turned around to go back to the living room and check on him. She jumped in shock as she saw him standing in the doorway staring at her.

"You see, this is the way it should be Jude. You are living with me. Look at us, don't you feel the chemistry?" He walked into the kitchen and held up two fingers moving them back and forth between them. Indicating he meant the chemistry between them.

Jude felt awkward as she thought about Lucas. She loved him, she truly did. She knew she had to control herself while she was around Tommy. "Tommy there is no chemistry. Now get back to the living room." She took a hold of his arm and led him back to the living room. Tommy tripped a couple of time grabbing onto her back for support. She winced in pain but endured it to get him back to the couch.

Once she had him securely seated on it she took a seat across from him on the coffee table. "Tommy, why are you drunk?" She had seen enough drunken people for one week and she could do with seeing no more. It was literally starting to make her sick every time she thought about drinking.

Tommy shook his head a little violently from side to side, almost like a child. "I'm not drunk, _girrrl_. I'm just a little buzzed." He leaned in the couch so that his face was closer to hers.

Jude backed away a little. Tommy lifted up his hand and put it to her cheek. He moved his face so that he was only inches away from hers. She could smell the alcohol on his breath and it made her sick. Tommy moved so close their noses were touching. "Jude...I... lust you."

Jude looked at him with disbelieving eyes. She jumped when she heard the whistle of the coffee being done. She got up to go turn it off and pour Tommy a cup. She couldn't believe he actually said he lusted her. If this was how Tommy really felt she wasn't wrong before. He really did only want her for sex.

She quickly poured him a cup of coffee but thought better of it and spilled it out. She really just wanted to get him to bed so that he could leave her alone. She walked back into the living room and noticed that he sloppily had his shirt open.

She walked over to the couch and grabbed his arm. He pulled her down so that she was on the couch next to him. He once again moved his face close to hers so that their foreheads were touching. He opened his mouth and spoke quietly, "Jude, I lost my baby. I lost my baby because of you." Jude backed away in shock at what he was saying.

She got off the couch and crossed her arms protectively. "It's what you do to me Jude. I lost my baby because of how I feel about you."

Jude looked over at him in disbelief. Drunk or not she couldn't believe he was actually blaming the abortion on her. She didn't tell Alexandria to get an abortion. She had nothing to do with. Even though she knew she had nothing to do with it she still felt incredible guilt. She started to walk away so she wouldn't have to hear more.

Tommy got up sloppily and walked after her. He grabbed onto her pulling her close to him. He grazed his lips against her neck and Jude tried to push his arms off of her. "You're with Lucas but I see the way you look at me. You still want me Jude. You'll always want me more than I want you." He kissed her neck lightly as Jude was finally able to push his arms off of her. She turned to look at him with hatred.

"I am not going to listen to a drunken idiot." She walked towards the door quickly as she felt Tommy aggressively pulling on her arm. He pulled her back into him and she fell against his chest and screamed out in pain. The pain from the bruise on her back shot through her whole body.

Tommy looked down at her and lifted up her shirt. He rubbed his fingers against the bruise as Lucas had done. "Lucas did this didn't he? See, I would not do that Jude. You should stick with me." Jude stepped away from him and pulled her shirt down. She looked over at him angrily.

"I like it when you're mad. It turns me on." He stepped closer to her and ran a finger over her lips. Jude dodged him when he moved in to kiss her. He followed her movement across the room.

He once again stepped closer. "Jude, I always thought you would have my first child. I hope you don't abort it when you get pregnant." Jude looked at him in shock.

He started to move in closer again and Jude's heart stopped. She was, much to her dismay, letting herself feel something any time Tommy got close. His lips were so close she closed her eyes waiting for him to kiss her.

Tommy's lips slightly touched Jude's and he spoke against them. "Nuh uh, I don't want to be the one ditched this time." He pulled away from her and stumbled back over to the couch.

Jude stood in the middle of the room in shock. She couldn't believe he just did that. She walked over to the coffee table and grabbed her keys. She quickly walked out of the apartment and first called Kwest. She explained to him that he needed to get to Tommy's apartment and make sure he was safe. After that she called Lucas. She asked if she could come over and he said any time.

Lucas smiled as he opened the door and saw Jude standing outside. He invited her into the penthouse that coincidentally looked a lot like Tommy's. Jude chose to ignore that fact. They went over and sat down on the couch.

"Jude, what's wrong?" She looked flushed and he could tell it wasn't because he looked so good.

"I just, I can't go back to that place anymore." She looked around his living room sadly remembering all of the wrong things Tommy always seemed to do.

Lucas nodded his head in agreement. "Good, because I don't want you going back there. You spend too much time with Quincy." He looked at her sternly as if her were her father putting his foot down.

"What do you suggest I do?" She had no where else to go. She couldn't exactly just go move into any old place. She wanted to make sure she found the right apartment. Some thing with a good price and that she was secure with.

"Well, isn't it obvious? Move in with me, Jude." Jude looked at Lucas in shock. She couldn't believe that he had asked her to move in with him. It seemed as though everything was moving so quickly.

Lucas loved her. What could she say?

**

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****Ha, got to love that ending! Not! You guys probably hate me right now lol. Anyway, I got this chapter out earlier than usual because my sister is coming home on Tuesday. She's a real creativity sucker. So, it might be hard for me to keep getting out chapters every weekend. Don't worry! I'll try.**

**Anyway, Loren, love ya! You probably hate me though. It was pretty evil of me to give Mason a boyfriend. Hehe! Hey, he needed some loving!**

**Oh yeah, you guys are probably surprised that Alexandria was in fact pregnant. Hehe, I have a few things up my sleeves!**

**Anyway, off you go! I pulled out the shockers so you better REVIEW! I want to know what you all think. Talk about Lucas, Alexandria, anything. Hey if you want to talk about the weather be my guest! REVIEW!**

**Loren, I love ya!**

**-Belle**


	16. I try to hide, can't make it alright

**I kind of have some pressure to get this one out! I so don't feel like writing!**

**CONSEQUENCES! Oh come on people! You should know the author by now. She's like the best author on this site...LOREN! Ah, how I love that damn story! Great person too! Love ya Loren. Thanks for helping me in my depressed mode, which I'm still in.**

**INSPIRATION OF THE PAST, by MAZKALNS! Whoa, whoa, whoa! I have no more socks to be rocked! She made them blow up with her new chapter! Can we say...HOTT! Whoo child!**

**JUDE AND TOMMY INSTANT LOVE FOREVER? By, TOMMYSGURL101.**

**You should really check it out. The author is a sweetheart, really is. You guys will instantly like her, honestly.**

**NATURAL DISASTER! By, SCENTED CANDL3S! Maybe if we give her more reviews she'll do me a favor and UPDATE! Gosh, has me at the edge of my seat waiting!**

**Alright, enough plugs! I should start writing! **

**Oh...this is the next day after last chapter...**

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Chapter Sixteen: **_I try to hide, can't make it alright_**

Jude crashed down on the couch feeling completely tired. It wasn't everyday she had to quickly get all of her things out of Tommy's apartment. She couldn't bring herself to tell him she was moving out. She did something she wasn't exactly proud of. She called him and told him to meet her at the studio. When, in reality, she just wanted to go get her stuff out.

Lucas came and crashed down next to Jude. He put his arm around her and smiled. "Jude, I am so glad you moved in with me. It's really official, you're all mine." Jude looked over at him and forced a smile. It was something about the way he said it. It wasn't like in a lovingly way, it was more a possessive tone. The look in his eyes sort of scared her.

He shook his head slightly and the weird look went off his face. He went back to being her Lucas. "Jude, now that we have that out of the way...Well, I want you to stop working with Quincy." Before Jude knew what she was doing she jumped up from the couch and looked at him in disbelief.

"What? I can't stop working with Tom! I..." She pretty much had to bite on her lip to keep herself from going on. She could see the rage seeping into Lucas. Not only had she sassed him, she had said she was going to disobey him. Over the last two months she had learned to walk on eggshells and now she did everything wrong. She knew it was a sore spot for him when it came to Tommy.

Lucas slowly got up and looked over at her. He balled his hands up into fist and paced around the room. Jude backed up any time he got close to her. He sighed and stopped walking. Finally un-balling his fist he looked at her with somewhat calmer eyes. "Jude...You're live with me now. What I say goes. I don't want you working with Quincy anymore!" He shook his finger at her saying the last part as though laying down the final law.

Jude could feel the tears forming in her eyes. She didn't want to stop working with Tommy. Ever since things got bad with Lucas, Tommy was the only thing keeping her going to work. She looked over at him with frustrated tears and anger. "You can't keep me from working with Tommy! He's the only reason my music is so damn good! You're always trying to control me! Well, I'm not going to be controlled anymore!" She let the tears flow as she finished her speech.

Lucas walked over to her and grabbed her face with both hands. He squeezed her cheeks tightly as he pulled her face closer to his. She could see the anger and rage in his eyes. "You're fucking him aren't you?" Jude was shocked by the tone of his voice. It was as if he was halfway possessed. Her face began to burn as he squeezed so tight she couldn't even answer. She pushed at him with her hands and looked at him with pleading eyes.

Lucas began walking, moving Jude along with him. Since he held her face she was forced to walk backwards. He threw her down on the couch as they backed into it. She immediately touched her face where his hands were. It burned and she knew she probably would have his handprints on her face. As she started to cry more she couldn't bring herself to look up at him.

Lucas bent down moving his face into hers. He touched her face where the tears were with his thumb. He touched softly but then started to rub her tears away roughly. He pressed down hard on her face. Jude whimpered and scrambled around on the couch. He stood up straight never taking his eyes of her. "You're hideous you know that? I don't

even know why I bother. I could have any girl I wanted. Sadie looks like a good fuck. You know she was totally flirting with me at the party when I went to go get drinks." As much as Jude didn't want it to, it hurt deeply what he was saying. It hurt more than his physical abuse.

Jude kept her eyes on the ground as she silently cried. Lucas kneeled down in front of her and looked up. "You're a whore. Look at the crap you wear to go to work!" Jude had a denim skirt that stopped a little above her knee. He grabbed at her thigh roughly and she smacked his hand away. She was used to his little mean comments. She was just scared he was adding physical abuse into it.

He laughed at how she panicked and smacked his hand away. "Jude, you want to go be with Quincy go ahead. Be my guest. Oh, wait! You can't, can you? He doesn't even want you! You're useless; I don't even know why I put up with your shit. All I want is for my girlfriend not to cheat on me and you can't even do that!" He balled his right hand up and punched it into his left. Jude jumped at the sound of his fist hitting his hand. She knew that could be her face.

He walked back over to the couch. "Jude, say it! Say you'll stop working with Quincy!" He walked closer to the couch like a crazed man. It was if he couldn't go on if she didn't say it. He looked at her in anticipation. He wanted her to say it so damn badly.

She turned her face to look at him with anguish. Her fears were confirmed, she was powerless. She had no choice but to abide by his rules. It wouldn't be that bad right? She could survive not really seeing Tommy? Lucas was right, he didn't even want her. "I won't work with Tommy." She looked down as she finished speaking.

Lucas smiled at her in triumph. He knew she would eventually crumple down underneath him. He was only setting these rules for her own good. He was teaching her to be a good girlfriend. Good girlfriends don't cheat on their boyfriends. "Good, good Jude. Now, you can't work with Kwest either. No guys." He crossed his arms confidently looking down at the miserable girl before him.

Jude jerked her head up to look at him. He had to be joking he couldn't take way Kwest and Tommy. There was no one else she could work with. He was basically asking her to drop from the label. She balled up her own fist and held back her tears. She looked up at his strong figure boldly. "I hate you! I HATE you!" She felt herself get up off the couch and begin punching him hard in the chest.

Lucas backed up as Jude continued to hit him. It didn't hurt in the slightest, it almost amused him. He grabbed her arms and pushed her away from him. She fell back down on the couch and breathed heavily. He crossed his arms again looking down at her. "Are you done?" She moved her hair out of her face still trying to catch her breath. She suddenly became overwhelmed with grief and began crying.

He suddenly felt sort of bad and kneeled down in front of her again. He touched her arms as she cried. He rubbed his arms up and down them. "Jude, it's just for the best. You know I can't trust you." Jude said nothing as she pulled her knees to her chest and cried. She was completely helpless. Lucas always won. At that point his touch made her feel sick. She put her face in her knees and didn't look at him.

Lucas stopped trying to make her understand. She could cry all she wanted he didn't care as long as she listened to him. He walked around his house doing regular things like eating and she just stayed on the couch for like 2 hours. As he came back downstairs he saw she had fallen asleep on the couch. Her face looked horrible as her jawline and the lower parts of her cheeks were slightly swollen. She also had mascara smudges down her cheeks from the crying. He felt sort of guilty and walked over to her sleeping figure on the couch. He kissed her forward lightly and walked out to go to his audition call for what he knew was an Oscar bound movie.

Jude opened her eyes as soon as Lucas left the apartment. She wasn't really sleeping she just didn't feel like talking to him when she woke up. She was sick of the fights and his constants making up with her. Most of all, she couldn't shake his words when he talked about Sadie. In the back of her mind she almost wondered if it were true. If it were true Sadie had flirted with him.

Jude sat up and looked down at her car keys on the coffee table. She decided she should go talk to Sadie. Loren was right. She felt herself drowning at the surface if she didn't tell anyone. She drove carefully and robotic to the Harrison household. She cleaned her face but she couldn't do much about the swelling. As she got out of her car she put her hood up and did her best letting her hair stick out of the hood, so her jawline wouldn't be noticeable.

Sadie almost immediately opened the door as Jude rang the doorbell. She pulled Jude into a tight hug and led her inside. She practically dragged Jude to the kitchen and wouldn't even let her get a word out. "Every thing is so perfect between Kwest and me! All I can say is I love you to death Jude! You have no idea; he's like the perfect man." She continued trying to cook what looked like macaroni and cheese. As Jude peered over into the pot she noticed it didn't look edible.

She continued to go on about Kwest. Jude just sat in one of the stools and listened to Sadie go on and on. As she realized Jude wasn't talking much she looked up and noticed Jude had began crying. She dropped the spoon and ran over to her. She touched Jude on her shoulder twirling her around in the stool. She pulled her into a tight hug. "What's wrong Jude?" Jude said nothing but continued to cry in Sadie's arms.

Once Jude had clamed down a bit Sadie pulled away and looked at her. She noticed the swollen parts of her face. "Oh my God, Jude! What the hell happened to you?" She pulled her into another hug and let Jude cry a little more. She sat down on the stool next to her after pulling away and waited for her to explain. Jude stayed silent for a while and Sadie touched her arm reassuringly. In the simple gesture she let Jude know she could take all the time she needed.

Jude coughed a little weakly and looked over at Sadie sadly. "Lucas did it." Jude let out a whimper in realizing what she said. It was actually hitting her, the reality of things. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and looked around the kitchen miserably as tears slid down her face.

Sadie let out a gasp in shock as she heard what Jude said. She had no idea, Lucas and Jude had been perfect for the last two months. There were no signs or evidence of any abuse. He always acted like the most perfect gentleman. She instantly became angry at what he did to her baby sister. She got up and started to dig through one of the kitchen draws. She pulled out a big kitchen knife and held it up in the air. "I'll kill him Jude!" She waved the knife in the air threatening.

She jumped off the stool and ran over to Sadie grabbing the knife out of her hands. "Are you kidding me Sadie? You can't go stab Lucas..." She put the knife down in the counter behind her as Sadie interrupted her.

"Why, why can't I just shank him, Jude? Do you even know what you just said to me? Look at your face Jude!" She softly touched Jude's jawline and Jude winced. "God, Jude, it's really bad isn't it?" It looked as if Sadie wanted to cry. She didn't understand why Lucas was doing this to her poor baby sister.

Jude began to cry again. She turned her back to Sadie and turned off the stove. She noticed the macaroni was done and didn't want it to burn for Sadie. She felt extremely stupid as she let Sadie know what he had been doing to her. She just couldn't leave him, she couldn't. The thought of leaving him only bought the feeling of loneliness. "Sadie, I love him. I love him so bad it hurts, literally." She smiled in between tears. Sadie didn't return the smile; she just looked at Jude worriedly.

"Jude, honey, if he hurts you he doesn't love you." She looked at Jude and pulled her into another hug. She knew Jude just needed to get it all out, everything she was feeling. She soothed Jude's hair down. In the back of Sadie's mind she was angry. Angry that their mother was never around. In more ways than one Sadie had become Jude's mother figure.

Jude pulled away from Sadie and wiped her eyes for the hundredth time that day. "Sadie, I love him." Jude knew Lucas was the only person that could help her forget Tommy. She needed that. She needed herself to forget Tommy. When Lucas was good to her, she honestly would forget him.

Sadie shook her head firmly at Jude. "Jude, how could you love someone who hurts you? Look at yourself, this isn't you. Does anyone else know what he's been doing to you?" Jude's head shot up at Sadie's question. Sadie wasn't suggesting telling anyone, was she? Jude couldn't have anyone else find out. Having Sadie and Loren know was enough. If anyone else found out it would just be a mess.

"No, no one else knows! You can't tell anyone Sadie! You have to swear to me you won't tell Kwest. If you tell him, he'll tell Tommy. He can never find out! You understand me?" She was practically up in Sadie's face and Sadie nervously shook her head. She never saw Jude look so nervous and scared before.

"I don't want Tommy to hurt Lucas. Lucas hasn't even really physically hurt me. He'll just do little things here and there. It's not like I didn't deserve them. I just don't know when to be quiet. That's all. He's really actually good to me." Sadie looked at Jude disbelievingly. Who was this person sitting in front of her? This wasn't the same person that had moved out.

"Jude, what has gotten into you? The guy is a total jackass! He's hurting you! Look at your face!" She got up from the stool and paced around a little. She didn't know what she could say to Jude to get through to her.

"Stop it! Just stop it Sadie! I over exaggerated. It's not even that bad really, he's my boyfriend. I love him, I don't want you talking bad about him anymore." Jude was crawling back into the world she had created for herself. She needed to hear good things about Lucas to keep herself from breaking. She felt the odd sensation to write.

Sadie opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off as Jude got up to leave. "I have to go Sadie. Thanks for listening. Don't you forget, no telling. I swear if you tell anyone, I'll kill myself." Sadie looked at Jude in shock as Jude practically charged out of the house. She wasn't exactly serious about what she said to Sadie. She might kill herself if she stays.

She drove to the only place she could call home. She hoped to God Lucas wasn't home. As she entered the empty place she sighed in relief. She almost charged over to get a pen. She sat down on the living room couch. She began ferociously scribbling down lyrics on her arm. It wasn't the same if she did it on paper. She felt more if it was on her flesh. It was her release from it all.

After she a good amount of scrambled around lyrics she got some paper and began picking the lyrics off of her arm. She would write them in the order she wanted on the paper. This was her new method of writing songs. It felt good just to have a certain release she could always go to. As she finished the song she put it under one of the couch cushions, where it would be safe. She didn't want Lucas to find it. He would never understand it. She drifted off to sleep as she laid down just for a rest on the couch.

Lucas got up from the bed and walked into the living room. The audition hadn't been long and when he came home and found Jude gone he thought she had left him. He was never happier in his life to see someone. He was extremely worried as he took a nap on the bed wondering where she was. He didn't know why he was so mean to her this morning. He just didn't like when she wouldn't obey him.

Lucas walked over to Jude and lightly shook her awake. He had spoken to his parents this morning and told them all about Jude. They said they wanted to meet her and scheduled the dinner for that afternoon. That was another part of the reason he was so worried. He knew it was almost five and they had to be there at six.

Jude woke up to Lucas slightly shaking her. She sat up as he stood up straight and stared at her with those same remorseful eyes. "Lucas, you better be happy I even came back!" She got up from the couch and walked across the room. She didn't even know why she did.

Lucas walked after her and touched her arms spinning her around. "Jude, I love you and I'm sorry. That's all I can say. I love you so much; you can have Kwest as your producer. I know he loves Sadie. I also, want you to meet my parents in an hour. So, you better hurry. By the way, you can't say I'm not crazy about you! I want you to meet my parents!" Jude smiled at how happy he looked. Well, he was kind of right. He would only be taking her to meet his parents if he knew the time was right. She had no doubt he did truly love her. It wasn't really his fault he acted that way, she had pushed him. Besides, he let her have Kwest produce her. What more could she ask for? She forgave him that instant. She then went into _their _bedroom and found the new dress, shoes, and jewelry he had gotten her while she was out. She almost forgot about the morning as she got dressed.

She felt her stomach tingle with nervousness as they pulled into his parent's driveway. She was nervous as to how big and perfect the house was. She was nervous to his meet his dad who used to be a huge famous actor, David Kelly. His mother used to be a huge famous actress, Adrianna Kelly. She was already intimated by all those things and she hadn't even met them yet.

They got out and walked to the door. Lucas rung the doorbell a couple of times and smiled at Jude. Finally, after a couple of rings, a tall slender woman in her forties answered the door. She had blonde hair and lots, lots of plastic surgery. She looked like she would have been beautiful without it. She was wearing a blue elegantly sexy dress for a woman her age. It showed just the right amount but hid enough. She instantly hugged Lucas and smiled over at Jude. "So, this is the beautiful girl that has you head over heels." She put her arm around Jude and led her inside.

Jude was glad the swelling had pretty much gone down. If you looked closely you could see a little bruise on each side but you had to be up in her face. She led Jude into the living room and Lucas followed. It was a rather simple living room, with a fire place and three couches set around it. They had some pretty old paintings hanging around. She noticed his father get up from the couch. He shook Lucas' hand and nodded his head at Jude. "Pretty girl you got there son."

Jude smiled and noticed Mrs. Kelly retreat back to the kitchen. She walked over to the couch where Lucas had sat down. She sat down next to him and noticed the strange look Mr. Kelly was giving her. He then looked at the nervous Lucas and shook his head disapprovingly. "Have I taught you nothing son? You are such a disappointment." He turned his attention back towards Jude. "I don't know why you're sitting girl, but you should be in the kitchen with my wife. The living room is for the men and the kitchen is for the woman. I'm sorry my son has obviously taught you nothing." He took a swig of the rum he held in his hand.

Jude's jaw dropped as she looked at the man sitting before her. She couldn't believe she was actually nervous and a little excited to meet the great David Kelly. He was a pig. She felt Lucas' hand hit her jaw closed. She looked over at him in shock and heard Mr. Kelly's laugh. "That's my boy."

As she looked at Lucas she felt sorry for him. He looked terrified of his father. Jude abruptly got up and just went into the kitchen. Mrs. Kelly told her to go make the table. Jude felt like she was in some type of movie as she made the table. She couldn't believe these were the people Lucas grew up with. His father was an asshole and his mother just pretended nothing happened.

Time went by and Mrs. Kelly was done making dinner. She and Jude served the food to Lucas and Mr. Kelly. Jude just played along and made herself believe she was in one of those old television sitcoms. She sat down to eat and just felt herself wanting to burst into tears. She never felt more degraded. Mr. Kelly seemed to like to treat woman like dogs and make them miserable. It was if it gave him great pleasure to see Lucas be mean to Jude. She could tell it was because he was partially drunk.

As they finished eating she and Mrs. Kelly cleared the table. Jude had to fight hard not to take a plate and throw it at Mr. Kelly's head. He kept making little remarks about how she would make a horrible wife. "Lucas, you really need to whip this one into shape. She still has a little sass left in her. Look at her." Jude grabbed a plate quickly as Lucas looked at her miserably.

She helped the almost mute Mrs. Kelly clean the dishes. After that, Lucas and she said their goodbyes. Mrs. Kelly hugged Jude tight and whispered in her ear. "Despite what my husband thinks, you're a catch." Jude pulled away and smiled. She felt so sorry for Mrs. Kelly. As she looked in her eyes she saw herself. It scared the hell out of Jude.

She felt herself snap out of her daydream as Lucas' hand went around her waist as they walked back to the car. He kissed her on the forehead and smiled at her. "Thanks for taking my dad in there. He's just...my dad." He opened her car door and closed it behind her. Jude found it best not to say anything. She had an urge to scream and cry.

Jude thought Lucas was going to go home. He had other plans; he wanted to take them to Darius' birthday party. Jude knew about it but she had already made plans not to go. She noticed that was exactly where Lucas was heading. Tommy was going to be there. She couldn't face Tommy. Not after she stood him up and sneakily moved out of his apartment. Jude started to become sick with worry.

Lucas completely ignored Jude as he kept driving. He really wanted to go to this party. He wanted to show everyone he was with Jude. She was his. He sort of pulled into the crowded parking lot a little crazily and almost crashed into another car to get the parking space. She didn't know what impulse had gotten into him.

As soon as they got out of the car they were bombarded with paparazzi. They made their way inside the crowded place. Lucas automatically went off to the bar. Jude decided to mingle around. She had a pretty good feeling Sadie was there. Kwest had to have bought her. She just couldn't find her through all of the people.

Jude started randomly opening doors hoping she would run into Kwest or Sadie. She hadn't seen Tommy yet, which was a good sign. She walked to one door at a far corner and opened it. She saw a girl hunched over a toilet puking. Jude instantly felt bad for the girl and walked a little further into the bathroom. She grabbed the girl's hair. "Are you alright." The girl instantly looked up and Jude dropped her hair and back away at who she saw. She couldn't believe Loren even got into the party. Strange thing was she didn't look drunk. Why was she throwing up?

Loren grabbed some paper toilet and wiped her mouth. She stood up and walked to the sink. She grabbed the Listerine and poured some in the top. She gargled it and looked over at Jude. "What?" She began fixing her hair.

Jude looked over at Loren in concern. "Loren, are you bulimic?" It made Jude just feel bad for her thinking about it. It had to be the only explanation. She just looked so skinny.

Loren turned to look at her over her shoulder. "No, Hun, I'm anorexic. I was just throwing up because I ate some birthday cake." Jude looked at her in shock. She never thought conceited Loren could be unhappy about her body. "Don't look so shocked. We all have our problems. Battered woman?" Loren turned back around and started to touch up her make-up.

Jude nodded her head more to herself than Loren. For some reason Jude could only feel more miserable. So, that was it? Everyone has their problems. She felt as though Loren's message was everyone has their problems so deal with it.

Jude silently opened the door and left the bathroom. She felt miserable with her life just with it all. Every thing had just gone terribly wrong. Why did she let herself get involved with Lucas? Jude walked around blindly and finally noticed Tommy in a corner of the party staring at her. She held her breath as she saw Tommy walking towards her.

"Jude, it sure was nice waking up this morning and having a hang-over. You know what was nicer? When I got called to go to the studio to be stood up. Only so that you could sneakily move out to move in with an idiot." Tommy didn't look so happy and Jude didn't blame him.

"Tommy, I'm sorry. But, then again I'm not! Whose fault is it I'm with that idiot? It's yours. It's a hundred percent your fault. Tommy if you would have just opened yourself up to me I wouldn't have thought twice about Lucas Kelly. It was you Tommy. You that I loved, it's always been you. No other guy will replace that. But, I'm forced to try." She crossed her arms protectively and fought back tears. She was sick of crying, she had cried too much.

Tommy said nothing he just grabbed her and pulled her into the closest room he could find. They left the door slightly open. Tommy's back was to the door as Jude looked at him in confusion. "Are you crazy Tommy? Have you..."

Tommy interrupted her before she could finish, "Jude, I love you." It was as if time had completely stopped. Jude felt her heart speed up and the world around her blur. He had said it. She wasn't imagining things. Tommy had actually said he loves her. She let her heart take over as she stood up on the tip of her toes and threw her arms around his neck. She pulled him into a deep passionate kiss, and Tommy didn't even know what hit him.

He wrapped his arms around her back pulling her closer. They were completely lost in the moment and failed to hear someone creak the door open a little wider. The person watched them kiss and then left. As Tommy started to deepen the kiss Jude pulled away. It was killing her to have to, but she couldn't do this to Lucas. It wasn't right to hurt him by cheating on him.

Tommy looked at Jude incredulously. She couldn't actually be doing this to him again. He actually opened himself up to her and he had this bad feeling that she was going to ditch him yet again. "Tommy, I'm sorry. But, I...I've developed feelings for Lucas." She wiped her mouth and refused to look at him.

Tommy shook his head in disbelief. She couldn't do this to him and leave again. Especially not to go to another man. It was literally killing him and he felt the urge to kill Lucas. "Jude, I love you. Did you not hear me?" He stood in front of the door as she got closer to it.

Jude nodded her head weakly looking down at the ground. "Well, I love Lucas." Jude just wanted to crawl into bed and cry. She couldn't take breaking Tommy's heart. For so long it was the other way around and now she was the one turning him down.

Tommy put his hand on his chest and nodded his head slowly. He wasn't going to fight it. What could he do or say? All was said and done. If she was happy with Lucas he wouldn't stand in her way. He kept his eyes on the ground as he slid to the side. He watched her quickly walk out of the door.

Jude walked around the party looking every where. She just couldn't find Lucas. As she continued walking around she ran into Loren. Much to Jude's dismay she actually asked her for a ride. Jude was surprised when Loren didn't decline. Loren knew exactly how to get to Lucas' penthouse.

When they pulled in front of the place, Loren stopped. "Jude, be careful." Jude looked at her and nodded her head. She didn't know why Loren was being so nice to her, but she wasn't complaining. She slowly walked up to the apartment. As soon as Jude opened the door she was pulled inside.

She looked up at the enraged, drunken, monster before her. He grabbed Jude by the arms and began violently shaking her. "You stupid bitch! I saw you with Quincy tonight! I thought you weren't doing him!" He continued to shake her roughly as he practically dragged her into the bedroom. Jude kicked, screamed, and pleaded but he wouldn't stop shaking her.

Finally, he let her go and looked at her. She wrapped her arms around herself and shook from the crying. Lucas just stood before her breathing heavily. Jude didn't make any movement as Lucas moved closer towards her. He lifted his arm and backhand slapped her. Jude let out a little scream and fell onto the bed.

Lucas climbed onto the bed and put each knee on either side of her legs. He grabbed her wrist like before and pinned them down on the bed above her head. Jude was crying heavily and let out some screams. Her mouth was bleeding from the slap. Lucas leaned forward and began to sloppily kiss her neck. Jude stopped screaming but continued crying as she moved her head around. He unpinned her wrist and started to lift up her dress. Jude panicked and started hitting him best she could. It was no use. Lucas just slapped her across the face again and she stopped fighting.

Jude's body and mind had become numb as the process went on. She was completely silent. She kept her arms above her head and made no sudden movements. She closed her eyes and pretended she were somewhere else. When Lucas moved up to kiss her she actually kissed back as weakly as she could. She felt nothing except the tears sliding down her face.

**

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****What a chapter to write! Whoa, it was so sad. Especially the ending. Hmm... What to say? I can't say anything.**

**We don't want Loren reading this and getting stuff spoiled.**

**Anyway, this was by far the most shock filled chapter, I think. You have to REVIEW! Don't ya wanna see what happens next chapter? REVIEW!**

**Loren!**

**-Belle**


	17. Unbroken

**I love you Loren. That girl is brilliant, seriously. You wrote this brilliant song. I'm going to be using it. I don't know when. I don't know if it'll be this chapter. I have no idea.**

**CONSEQUENCES! Oh please, you guys know already. I don't even need to say much. She's just the best! Love her story, love her. It's just all around great. Read it, you'll see why I love it so damn much.**

**INSPIRATION OF THE PAST, by MAZKALNS! If you haven't read this story already, you should. It seriously rocks. Like whoa, that new chapter was like...Whoa! Lol, it was totally hot.**

**NATURAL DISASTER! By, SCENTED CANDL3S! I don't know if she'll update soon, but I hope so. This story is totally hot. It has a great original concept.**

**JUDE AND TOMMY INSTANT LOVE FOREVER? By, TOMMYSGURL101. This girl is so nice. She totally rocks. She leaves me the nicest reviews! Love her!**

**Okay, I usually start with it being the next day. **

**But, I just want to address something. Jude was, in fact, violated last chapter. But, it wasn't exactly rape. It's complicated, she let him do it. I mean, she didn't say no. She did fight him off a little, but then she gave in and let him do what he wanted. It makes it all the more worse.**

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Chapter Seventeen: **_Unbroken_**

Jude slowly opened her eyes and looked up at the tan ceiling before her. She was afraid to move, her whole body ached. She turned her head slightly to the side and saw the passed out Lucas next to her. She raised one hand to her head and realized it hurt just moving her arm. She let her hand move down her face and let her fingers wander over her swollen bottom lip. She sat up in the bed slowly and looked around feeling as if she were in dream. She still couldn't even grasp what happened last night. Lucas was trying to force her into sex and she let him. She actually let him do all that he wanted.

She looked down and noticed her dress was around her neck. She pulled it down and noticed how it was ripped and had blood on it. She lifted the dress at the top a little and looked at the bite marks and swollen parts along her chest and near her collar bone. She put the dress back down quickly and looked down at her arms. She had bruises up and down her arms from when Lucas would occasionally grab at them. She put a hand down to one of her thighs and noticed they each had handprints and scratches from Lucas grabbing at them. Every last part of her body hurt and she could barely think.

Jude looked over at the snoring Lucas again. She didn't know what to do, or how to feel. She looked at the pillow behind her and fought the urge to smother him. She seriously considered it. But, she had to admit, the one person she was mad at was herself. She thought about it and decided it was a bad idea. She slowly climbed off the bed and noticed one of her heels was broken, it probably broke when she fell back on the bed. She slid the shoes off and walked around barefoot looking for another pair of shoes. She held onto the walls for support as she walked. It was like five in the morning and she had no idea where she was going, or what she was going to do.

She made it to the living room and stopped when she thought she heard him getting up. The only thing she did know was she had to get out of there. She saw his suit jacket from last night on the couch and grabbed it to put it over herself. She made her way out of the apartment fast; she had no shoes and was wearing a ripped dress. Not to mention, her disheveled hair. She was glad it was so early in the morning. Nobody was outside. She walked as best she could to her destination. When she was finally outside of the apartment door she let out a sigh of relief. She knocked at the door a couple of times, but heard no answer. She collapsed sitting down against the door. She would stay there all morning if she had to. She fell asleep as the hours passed.

Loren pulled up into the parking lot and parked her car. She was glad she decided not to go home with the guy she had spent the night with. After she drove Jude home she went to another party. Loren's life consisted of one big party. If she consumed herself with that, she wouldn't have to face to the real world and her own problems. She slowly made it up to her apartment. As the elevator doors opened, she kept her head inside of her purse as she rummaged around for her keys. She slowly walked to the end of the hallway to her door. She looked up briefly and then looked back down at her purse. Her head jerked up again as she realized what exactly it was she looked at. She dropped her purse and ran over to the barely awake Jude. "Oh my God, Jude!" She grabbed one of her hands and helped her get up on her feet.

Jude opened her eyes and noticed that Loren was outside of her apartment, not inside. Jude shook her head and looked at the upset Loren. "Can I come inside?" She leaned against the wall as Loren went over to pick up her spilled over purse. She threw everything back in and walked back over to Jude and the door. She slowly unlocked it as she kept glancing back at Jude. She looked horrible, worse than Loren ever did. Loren quickly helped her inside and she walked Jude over to the couch. "Jude, we should go to the hospital? He raped you, didn't he?"

Jude sat at the edge of the couch. She had only been in Loren's apartment once before. It wasn't much furniture around, she thought that was strange. She looked over at Loren as she spoke. "No, no hospitals. I wasn't even raped. I let him do it." She blinked a couple of times and looked away. She still wasn't grasping what was going on.

Loren nodded her head in understanding. "Jude, do you want to take a shower?" She looked around awkwardly. Why did Jude go to her apartment? Was it just because it was close? She walked Jude over to the bathroom and handed her towels and everything she might need. She knew taking a shower was washing away any evidence, but it wasn't rape. Jude let him, Loren understood perfectly.

Jude stood in the shower letting the water just fall on her. She felt dirty, extremely dirty. She felt as though she could never feel clean again. She began to rub ferociously at her already bruised skin. She felt sick. She scrubbed at her arms hard. She collapsed back against the wall and finally stopped scrubbing at her skin. She knew it was gone, she would never feel clean again. Why did she let him do it? She could have just kept fighting, she had no idea. She just gave in, it was practically eating her up inside. Jude put her hand over her mouth and forcibly swallowed the throw up that came up.

Loren rummaged through her closet for something Jude could wear. It was then she realized how sluttish her clothes were. It was hard for her to find something covered up. She finally found one of her old flings button down shirts and grabbed a pair of her jeans. The shirt was pretty big since it was a guys, but it would do. It would go up to Jude's neck. She also got her the lowest black heels she could find. She knocked on the bathroom door and waited to hear if she could go in and put the clothes down. She went in quickly and put them down.

As Jude was getting dressed Loren didn't know what to do with herself. She actually genuinely felt bad for Jude; she just didn't know what to do. Jude was extremely stubborn, she would never see it Loren's way. Not to mention, she still didn't like Jude much. She did have to admit, she was lonely. She pretty much pushed away the only thing she had that was close to a family, the G-Major crew.

Jude got out of the shower and put on the clothes. She didn't think much about how big the shirt was. She just cared that it covered up her bruises. She was worried about her bottom lip. She planned on telling everyone she got in a fight with Loren. She really had no desire to go to the studio. But, Tommy was right. Georgia was losing her patience.

Loren sat on the couch awkwardly looking through a magazine. She looked up when Jude came in dressed. "Jude, what are you going to do?" Jude couldn't hide it from the world, even Loren knew that. Although, she was hiding her own problem from the world.

Jude shook her head; she had no answer for any of those questions. "Well, what did you do when he abused you?" Loren looked at her in shock. She didn't think Jude would be able to tell that easily. But, it explained Loren's sudden niceness. She had been through something similar to this herself. She was once with Lucas. The relationship was hell.

Loren quickly put up her wall and shook her head. "Nothing, he and his family paid me off. I was surprised his dad would even give up money. He's a big alcoholic, didn't you wonder why they didn't have maids or cooks. I mean, I assume he took you to meet his parents already. Anyway, I took pictures of my bruises; I swore I would go to the cops. Well, his dad pulled a few strings. Hence, how I got my record deal. Darius got Georgia to sign me. You should really take pictures of those bruises and cuts. Lucas must really like you; he never did me that bad." She laughed a little at her own sarcasm. She was still Loren, she couldn't help that. "Anyway, I totally broke off the engagement. He probably lied to you about that. He tried to stalk me for a bit after that. You really need to be careful. His mom even tried to call, she begged me to take him back. Said he would die without me. Well, I am a gift." She smiled, but quickly stopped when she saw no expression on Jude's face.

"How am I going to go to the studio?" All Jude could do was worry. Instead of dealing with the pain she dwelled on how to hide it. If she told more people about it, the more she would have to deal with everything. Why, why did she let him do it? She felt so used. She couldn't let anyone know, besides Loren. She was abused herself. She couldn't tell Sadie, she would be too emotional.

"Jude, you should tell someone about this. You let him, but it doesn't make it right. He still hit you. You have freaking bite marks. Yeah, I saw them. That's brutal. I just got to say it, you're a dimwit! What's wrong with you! Even I had sense." Loren saw herself in Jude. She was growing frustrated. Was Jude going to go back to him? She hoped not, she wouldn't wish that on any of her enemies.

Jude looked over at her angrily. "I thought you would understand! I don't want anyone to know. This is my life, my problem. Everyone has their problems! This is mine, I'll deal with it. Just back off!" She crossed her arms and walked across the room away from the couch.

Loren nodded her head in having her own words thrown back at her. What could she say? She wasn't her mom, her sister, or even her friend. Jude could do what she wanted. Loren gave up and went back to looking through her magazine. She sneaked a few glances at Jude, who was pacing around the room in thought.

"Jude, are you going back to him? Please tell me you're not stupid enough to take back the monster. Jude!" Loren put her magazine down as Jude kept up her pacing. It was irking her last nerve. She hated being ignored and she hated confused Jude. This was part of the reason she couldn't be her friend.

Jude stopped and looked at Loren as though she were looking right past her. "No, no, I'm not going back to him. No!" She shook her head letting her hair fall over her face. She couldn't take Lucas back. She simply wouldn't, she was careless around him. She wasn't sure how she felt about him. When it was happening, and after it was done she wanted to kill him. But, was it really his fault? He was drunk and he had seen her with Tommy. She shouldn't have cheated.

Loren looked at her suspiciously. She knew what Lucas was going to pull next. She wasn't sure if Jude would give in or not. She hoped she wouldn't. But, she could never know. Jude could be two different people at once, if she felt like it. "Good, you better not. You do realize he'll probably try to get you to forgive him, right? You better kick him where it hurts." Loren remembered when she was forced to that once. Well, he kept his distance.

Jude nodded her head distractedly. She wasn't listening to Loren. All she could think about was going to the studio. She looked at the clock and noticed she should probably get out of Loren's apartment. She had no idea where to go. Then it hit her, the studio space. She had left her cell phone there so long ago. Ever since that last time Lucas apologized to her. She had to go get it.

Loren looked around in confusion as Jude just rushed out of the apartment. She was hoping she would go tell someone. Loren had to admit, she wanted Lucas to get his. She was still upset about when they were together. She didn't want him to hurt Jude. Loren had done that enough. She quickly snapped out of that and started thinking about how relieved she was Jude was off her hands.

Jude walked quickly back over to Lucas' apartment. As much as she didn't want to, she had to go back. She had to get her keys. She hoped he was still asleep. It was like ten in the morning. She knew he wasn't a morning person, he should still be asleep. She would have to be as quiet as she could. She felt as though her life depended on it.

She quietly and slowly made her way into the apartment. She tip-toed around best she could not making any sudden movements. She walked near their bedroom and silently cursed to herself, when she heard the shower on. She really had to be fast, she was just scared. Her keys were unmistakably in their bedroom. She had to get in there and out, fast. He never took long showers; he could be out any moment.

She opened the door silently and squeezed her body through the slight opening. She almost felt like a prisoner escaping jail. It just wasn't right; she should feel that way in her boyfriend's apartment. She quickly tip-toed over to the nightstand. She remembered noticing them there, while Lucas climbed all over her on the bed. She put her hands on the keys as she heard someone turning the knob to the bathroom door. Her heart stopped. She was so consumed in being quiet she hadn't even heard the shower go off. She gripped her hand around the keys so hard it hurt.

She slowly started to back away quickly, walking backwards. Her back touched the door lightly and she fumbled with her hand to find the door knob. Lucas came into the room holding a towel that he was previously using on his head. He froze when he saw Jude swinging open the door and practically tripping out of it. His heart sunk as he saw the girl running out of the room...from him. She looked horrible and he was the cause of it. If last night had gone like he planned, everything would have been perfect. Their first night would have been perfect, instead it was a nightmare. "Jude!" He dropped the towel and quickly advanced his footsteps, as she dodged for the front door.

He ran up behind her and grabbed her waist trying to grab her towards him. "Jude, I just want to talk!" He tried to grab her, but it just caused her to collapse onto the door. Jude's hands hit the front of the door. She slid one down quickly to the doorknob. Lucas at pulled her, as she turned the doorknob frantically. She was glad she didn't lock the door when she came in. She grabbed the other side of the doorknob as he pulled her. She held the doorknobs on both sides trying to slip her way out of the apartment. As she was whirling around to the hallway, Lucas' shoulder hit the open door. He fell slighting, gripping onto her shirt. It caused them both to stumble to the ground. Jude fell on her stomach with a thud. Half of her was at least in the hallway. However, she watched in dismay as her keys slid near the elevators.

Lucas practically held onto her legs, as he tried to get up. Jude rolled around into a sitting position and kicked her legs out at him. As he stood up, she kicked him in the kneecap.

He bent over in pain, as she scrambled around. She crawled on her knees away from him, until she was able to get on her feet. She ran and picked up the keys. She quickly pressed the elevator button and turned to look at Lucas. He looked completely lost, confused, and most of all, hurt. It almost killed her as she got on the elevator. Maybe he wouldn't come after her? Maybe Loren was wrong.

She held back her tears, as she made her way to her car. Why did she still love him? She honestly did, even when she was fighting him. She couldn't deny that she really still felt something. She only fell in love with assholes. She put the key in the lock and quickly turned it as she heard footsteps come towards her. She turned her head to see, Lucas did follow her. He looked frantic and determined. She jumped in the car quickly and fumbled the key into the ignition. She made sure the doors were locked and quickly started to pull off. Lucas stood in front of the car looking miserable. He didn't want to follow her but he had no choice. He ran over to his car and climbed in as fast as he could.

Jude put her foot down and accelerated. She had to go to the studio space fast. She couldn't talk to Lucas. She knew it would just equal disastrous results. She felt the numb feeling overcoming her again as she just drove like a robot. She occasionally would look in the rearview mirror to see Lucas' car not that far behind hers. What could she do? She was completely powerless. She had no choice but to go to the studio space.

She pulled up and parked. She could see Lucas' car approaching. She quickly got out of her own car and made it into the building. She walked quickly down the hallway and pushed one of the big raggedy doors open. She shut it, hoping Lucas wouldn't follow all the way after all. After what seemed like five minutes she opened the door silently, and saw Lucas finally approaching. She nervously tried to push the door shut in his face. He put his hands up pushing the door open.

"Jude, you have to talk to me! Please!" He looked at her pleadingly as he almost easily pushed the door open. She was just no competition. She tried to hold on to the door, but just ended up moving with it. Lucas stopped and walked into the room. He looked really scared and he didn't say anything to her as she fixed herself up.

She let go of the door and acknowledged him standing in the middle of the room. No more fighting, she was defeated. She had no choice but to talk to him. "Lucas, no matter what you say it won't change what you did." She walked towards the couch and sat down. Lucas followed her, almost pacing. He knew he had to be careful with what he said. This may be his only chance to get her back.

Jude put her hands over her face and sighed shaking her head. She let her hair fall over her face and removed her hands. She looked up slightly and could see Lucas staring at her. "Did I do that to your lip?" It looked like he was extremely upset at the thought of hurting her.

Jude nodded her head silently. She coughed a little, finding her voice to speak to her. "Yes, this is just the least of it." Lucas made a face, as if her words stung. He started to pace the room again. This was starting to look very familiar. She couldn't let it happen again.

He stopped walking and stood in the middle of the room looking at her. "Jude, I just don't know what to say. I wasn't even myself last night. I just, I love you, I really do. I'm so, so, so, sorry about what happened. If I could erase it, I would. I don't deserve you, I know." He became a little panicked when Jude put her hands over her face and looked like she wasn't listening.

Jude, in fact, wasn't really listening that much. She had heard it before. How many times was he going to say it? She got up and shook her head at him. He was in a vulnerable state; she could just walk out if she wanted. She made her way towards the door and Lucas really panicked. He ran towards and pulled her towards him again. He wrapped his arms around her stomach and pleaded into her hair.

"Jude! Jude, please." Jude struggled against him but eventually gave in. She had to admit she missed the feeling of his arms around her. He felt her give up and practically dragged her over to the couch. He let go of her and touched her arms pulling her to sit down. She reluctantly sat down and sighed again. She couldn't look at him, as he began pacing again.

He continued pacing as he spoke. "Jude, I'm not the only one that should be apologizing here. You cheated on me. It's not like that was erased from my mind." He stopped pacing and turned his head to the side to look at her. Some of the remorse she had seen his eyes earlier was a bit gone.

Jude looked up and over at him. They were actually looking at each other. He was right, what could she say? She was cheating on him last night. But, it was only for a moment. A moment that she regretted. Or, that was what she kept telling herself. "Lucas, your not the one that got beat up. How could you? How could you hit me? Did you stay long enough to see me pull away? Did you stay long enough to see me say that I loved you? No, you drove away in a drunken rage, and then practically forced me to have sex." She ran her fingers through her hair, in a frustrating manner as she looked away from him.

Lucas quickly walked over to the couch. Her body was slightly turned to the right and he sat, turning the other way so their knees were touching. He reached out and grabbed both of her hands. He then moved his head slightly down so he was sure she was looking at him. "Yes, I physically hurt you, and for that I am forever sorry. I can't take it back, but I'm trying here. Yes, you didn't physically hurt me, but you emotionally hurt me. Don't you understand Jude? You're my life, you mean everything to me. Seeing you with Tommy, it killed me. The thought of you with someone else kills me. I honestly do love you. I was drunk and I let the rage take over. But, I didn't rape you, you allowed me to proceed on. I know it was still wrong and I'm sorry. I'm really trying here." He squeezed her hands as he spoke and looked in her eyes sincerely. She had no doubt that he meant everything he said. But, she just couldn't take him back.

"Lucas, you can't just wave a wand and make it all better. It just isn't right. I shouldn't have these bruises. I shouldn't feel disgusting, violated, and used. It makes me completely and utterly sick. I could throw up right now." She had already yanked her own hands out of his. She slid around her body on the couch, so that her back was to him. She hated looking at him, it was too painful. He knew it was. That was why he kept moving in her eyes views. Only problem was, nothing was working.

Lucas got up and walked across the room. He began pacing again; he kept bringing his hand to his pocket. Jude watched him from the corner of her eye and wondered what he had in it. With Lucas, anything was possible. She began to become worried. Then, she began to wonder, why was she still sitting there? She got up and started heading her way towards the door. She put her hand on the doorknob...

Jude froze when she felt hands wrap around her legs. She grabbed the wall and turned, best she could to look at the man on his knees before her. She couldn't believe Lucas was actually on his knees. His arms moved up and wrapped around her back, as he rested his head against her stomach. Jude held her hands in the air in shock. She didn't even know what to think of the man before her. It was almost tragically beautiful. He said nothing as he hugged her, in an attempt to make her stay.

Lucas removed his arms from around her and rested his hands on her hips. He looked up at her with saddened eyes. They said nothing as he just stared at her, with what she swore were tears lingering in his eyes. She couldn't understand how he could hurt her so much, yet love and obsess over her so much. Jude tried to move but he tightened his grip on her hips. She couldn't look down at him as she felt her own eyes overflowing with tears.

Jude began crying and her whole body shook. She didn't even notice when Lucas had removed his hands from her hips. Jude reluctantly looked at him, and let out a gasp, collapsing against the door. She felt her body sliding down the door, before she could stop it. She hit the floor with a thud. She looked in front of her at Lucas. He was still kneeling and still hadn't moved from his position. He hadn't even spoken yet.

Lucas looked at her with the tears still lingering in his eyes. Jude was in shock as she looked at what he held. She stared in awe at the little black box with the incredibly huge diamond ring inside of it. She knew the ring could only mean one thing. It was beautiful and only made her want to cry more. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. "Jude, I love you. You make me a better person. I know sometimes I screw up, but I really love you. I really do, you're the air that I breathe. When I'm not with you, you're the only thing I can think about. You do things to me that I never thought was possible. You're my sun in the morning when I wake up, and the stars at night when I go to bed. Will you do me the honor of forgiving me and...Jude; will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

Jude let out a whimper as he finished his little speech. She couldn't believe he was proposing to her. She brought her slightly shaking hands to her face, and cried into them. She opened her eyes when she felt him grabbing her left hand. He slid the perfectly sculpted diamond ring onto her ring finger. It was right next to her star ring, which she kept on her middle finger. He held her hand and stared at her with sadness, and a little bit of hope written on his face.

"Jude, please, just please think about this. Think about us, I seriously can not live without you. Jude, just think about it." Lucas raised Jude's hand to his lips and kissed it softly. He still held her hand, as the other softly caressed her cheek. She let his hand slide down to her shoulder; he gripped onto it pulling her into a hug. They softly embraced on the floor. Jude buried his head in his shoulder as she cried out her emotions. She couldn't speak everything she wanted to say was stuck in her throat. She could do nothing but cry in Lucas' arms.

She jumped as she heard her cell phone begin to ring. She had forgotten all about it. It was the reason she ran into the studio in the first place. Lucas softly stroked her hair as he whispered in her ear, "Don't answer it." He was savoring the moment they were having and felt like he might actually get her back. It could be anyone on the other end. He preferred she stay in his arms.

Jude grabbed into Lucas' arms and got up on her feet. She quickly walked over to the phone and looked at the caller ID; she noticed it was Georgia calling. She knew she should have been at the studio already. She looked down at the phone as she just let it ring. She felt Lucas come up behind her and wrap his arms around her stomach. She felt him breathing against her cheek. She kept looking at the phone, as she noticed she had a lot of missed calls on it, since it was just locked up in the studio space. Her skin tingled as Lucas softly moved to whisper in her ear. "I love you." Jude got out of his grip and walked out of the door. She was happy Lucas didn't follow her this time. But, she knew why. He had gotten her confused, she was so sure she was going to leave him and now, she wasn't so sure.

Jude quickly pulled into the back entrance of G-Major. She fixed her hair and make-up trying to make herself look more presentable. She was dying of nervousness knowing she was going to have to see Tommy. After last night, he was the last thing she wanted to see. She made the decision that she was going to make Kwest her permanent producer. Maybe it would just work out for the best that way. She and Tommy had way too much history, it was awkward. She chose to completely strike his confession from her memory; her explanation for it was that he was drunk. He had no idea what he was saying.

She quickly walked into G-Major and headed on her way to find Georgia. She had to talk to her about switching her producer. She finally spotted her heading round the corner. "Georgia! We need to talk. I know, I know, you probably want to kill me about not having a song. But, we need to straighten something out and you'll have your hit." Jude tried to look enthusiastic, but she wasn't sure if it had exactly worked out right.

As Georgia led Jude to her office, Jude spotted Tommy step out of Studio B. "Jude, we really need to talk. Georgia you want a hit, Jude and I should get to work." Tommy was acting as if nothing happened last night, but he couldn't seem to look at Jude. She wondered what he wanted to talk about with her. He was just going to act like he said nothing last night.

Jude looked over at Georgia miserably. She knew she was going to have to go work with Tommy, she could just sense it. Just as Georgia was about to say something EJ came and started talking to her. Jude could have just killed EJ then and there. She looked over at Tommy and noticed him motioning her to come on. She slid her feet on the ground, as she walked her way over to what she felt was going to be her doom. She had also completely forgotten she still had the engagement ring on.

She followed Tommy into the studio and he immediately assumed his seat in one of the rolling chairs. He motioned for Jude to take a seat across from him on the couch. She reluctantly walked over to it and sat down. She wondered why he was acting so strange, and she wanted to know what was so important.

Tommy waited until she was comfortable before he spoke. "Jude, about last night..." He reached out to grab her arms and she flinched pulling them back. Tommy rolled his chair closer to her and gently gripped her hand. Jude couldn't do anything, as Tommy slowly lifted up her sleeve. He looked in horror at the bruises and redness (from the scrubbing) formed on her arm. He did the same to the other arm; he closed his eyes and sighed. It hurt him deeply just seeing how hurt Jude was.

He let go of her hands and looked at her, as she fought back tears. "Girl, Lucas did this, didn't he? Jude said nothing as she looked away. She couldn't let Tommy know, she just couldn't. But, she couldn't help but just start crying. She knew she was pretty much letting it be known.

Tommy felt rage seep into his body. But, as he watched Jude cry, his first instinct was to comfort her. He pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back. He remembered the phone call he had gotten that morning. He had to find out if it were all true. Jude wiped her eyes as she pulled out of the embrace. "Jude, did he do anything to you last night?" He looked at her compassionately, and Jude couldn't help but break down and let everything out.

As she opened her mouth to speak, nothing came out. She instead began taking her shirt off. Tommy just noticed that she had a man's shirt on. As he watched her take it off he assumed it was Lucas'. But, then, he wondered why in the world was she taking her shirt off? "Jude what are you..." Tommy's heart stopped as Jude slid the shirt over her shoulders. His words got caught up in his throat, as he saw the damage on her chest. He knew that if she weren't wearing a bra, it would have looked even worse. He was disgusted; thoroughly disgusted that someone could do that to Jude, his Jude. But, above all, he was enraged. All he wanted to do was beat Lucas' pretty face in.

Jude quickly closed her shirt, as someone jingled with the studio's doorknob. As if on cue, Lucas came in. Jude looked from Tommy to Lucas in horror; she quickly began buttoning up her shirt. Tommy's eyes looked as if they flashed red as soon as he saw Lucas come in. Tommy had one thing on his mind, and it was revenge, revenge and death. Tommy practically leaped out of his chair, letting it fall to the ground as he charged over to Lucas. He gripped him up by the collar and slammed him hard against the wall. Jude jumped up in horror, not knowing what to do. She knew Tommy was on a rampage.

Before Lucas knew what hit him, Tommy began punching him repeatedly. Tommy's fist crashed down on each side of Lucas' face, as Tommy kept switching hands. It was as if he was a punching machine and nothing could stop him. Lucas gripped at Tommy's arms but he could barely move as his face violently thrashed back in fourth from colliding with Tommy's fist. Jude tried to yell at Tommy, to stop him, as she saw drips of blood flying from Lucas' mouth. His nose was also bleeding excessively. Jude grabbed at Tommy's arm and he stopped for a moment to shake her off. In the split second that he looked over at Jude, Lucas took the opportunity and punched Tommy in the jaw. Jude moved out of the way as Tommy really became angry. He gripped up the right side of Lucas' collar with one hand and put his other hand on his back, ferociously throwing him into the soundboard. Lucas crashed into it sloppily, sliding down to the ground on his knees.

Tommy took the position as an advantage. He advanced over to Lucas savagely and kicked him in the face, causing him to fall back. Tommy then started to kick him repeatedly in the ribs and any other part of his body he desired. It was as if a whole new person took over. All he could see was Jude's hurt expression and then body, as she took off the shirt. The image made Tommy quicken up his speed and strength. If Jude didn't do something quick Tommy would surely kick Lucas into a coma or kill him. Jude ran to the door and yelled out for Kwest and Darius to hurry. She was panicking and didn't know what to do. She looked back and noticed that Tommy had stomped on Lucas' hand just because he moved it. He then bent forward and started to punch him in the face again. Lucas pathetically tried to get up, and even managed a few little hits. Georgia ran into the studio and witnessed the horror before her. Tommy was beating the crap out of the blood stained Lucas. She ran out and called for Darius and Kwest also.

Kwest barged into the room and quickly knew what he had to do. He grabbed Tommy and tried to drag him out of the room. Lucas mustered up his strength and actually tried to punch Tommy again. Kwest tried to grab Tommy's arms, but Tommy was still going on like a cannon. Darius ran into the room, finally, and grabbed onto Tommy. Kwest and Darius both struggled to drag the unbelievably enraged Tommy out of the studio. Lucas collapsed against the floor and wasn't moving. Jude stood in a corner with her eyes closed, crying. Georgia was in utter shock and confusion and didn't know what to make out of what happened. EJ ran into the room, after seeing Tommy pulled out. She screamed in horror at the sight of Lucas and the blood. She immediately pulled out her cell phone and called 911. She could have killed Tommy herself for what he did. EJ had no idea about the excuse. All she could think about was the reality show Lucas had said he and Jude would do, if she accepted his proposal. He couldn't be dead or badly hurt.

Darius and Kwest tried to calm down Tommy. Jude slowly walked out of the studio and left Georgia and EJ with Lucas. She walked by Darius and Kwest trying to calm down Tommy. She felt his eyes on her as she walked by. She pulled out her cell phone and quickly called Loren. She explained to her the horror movie that had went down and how she needed her to come get her quick. Moments later the paramedics came rushing to Lucas' side. Much to everyone, except EJ's dismay, the cops arrived also. They noticed the beat to a bloody pulp guy on the floor and watched the riled up Tommy. They quickly went to cuff him, as he stupidly tried to fight them off. They roughed him up a bit and were finally able to bring him outside to their cop car.

The paramedics worked on Lucas, as Loren came running in. She walked over to Jude and oddly gave her a comforting hug. The only thing Jude could seem to do was cry. She couldn't believe the order of the events that had transpired. She watched silently as the paramedics escorted Lucas out on the gurney. He was in really bad condition and she was worried. She felt guilty that she was more concerned about Tommy and his bleeding knuckles. She knew he was in the wrong.

Jude almost screamed out in shock, as she saw Sadie come running in followed by their father, Stuart. He noticed Lucas on the gurney and quickly walked over to it. They all watched in shock as he actually tried to flip over the gurney. The paramedics started to flip out. "That son of a bitch, he beat up my daughter." The cops quickly came back in and gripped up Stuart. They cuffed him and bought him to the cop car also.

Jude looked over at Sadie with a dumbfounded expression. Sadie shrugged nervously. "Well, I sort of told him about what Lucas did to you, and what I saw." She looked away from the look Jude was giving her. She instead looked around in equal confusion at the sight before her. She had no idea what had happened. "Hey, where's everybody?"

Jude slowly turned her head to answer Sadie. She could barely think straight, everything was so messed up. "He and Georgia went to go bail out Tommy. EJ went to the hospital with Lucas. And, you should go bail out dad." Sadie nodded her head at Jude, but still had the confused looked on her face. Sadie slowly walked out of the place, to go bail their father out quickly.

Loren and Jude looked around uncomfortably, as they were the only one's left in the place. Darius was still talking to the cops that were there, and everyone else left. Jude wiped away her tears and Loren noticed the engagement ring. "What the hell is that?"

Jude put her hand down and looked away, "An engagement ring." She crossed her arms, as she oddly felt a sick sensation coming over her.

Loren in turn gave her a disgusted looked at what she said. She knew Lucas would propose; it was just like him. He would use the only thing he could to gain forgiveness. "You're not, like, engaged are you?" Loren tried to hide the look of horror that came over her face, with no such luck.

"I don't know." Jude felt the throw up come up into her mouth, and she uncontrollably threw up on Loren's shoes.

**

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****Alright, well that's it. I hope you guys liked it. It took me long enough. But, here it is, finally finished! I worked really hard on this chapter and it's the longest. I'm really proud of it. Ah, forget the part where I didn't edit! ;-)**

**I know some people might not like it for lack of Jommyness, sorry. You should start getting used to it. Jude and Tommy won't be making out right away. We'll just have to wait and see how everything works out. **

**Anyway, thanks for reading and I love you guys. 100 reviews! Yeah baby! Now, go do your thing ya'll! REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!**

**Loren, love ya! Hope you liked it. Hope you're writing!**

**-Belle**


	18. Confinement: Loren’s Past

**I wanna write! I wanna write! Let me just write! How I wish I was writing chapter 19 already. Let me just go, so that I can be done!**

**NATURAL DISASTER! By, SCENTED CANDL3S! Oh, someone shoot me! I want a freaking update...NOW! Ah, I'm dying over here. But, wait, I can't die. I must live for...**

**CONSEQUENCES! Hmm, I was just looking at this and wondering why I use caps lock. OH YEAH! So that people will pay attention! You need to freaking read this story by Cayenne. I don't have to say her username, you know it. You better know it. Cayenne, you better update soon! Hmm, if you update before I send this...I'll just add more to this then. If you don't...It's to my basement with you! Ha, you did update! That chapter was...WOW! You have to read it! It's so freaking amazing. It was the hottest thing ever. Whoa, I read it over like 3 freaking times. I swear, it totally distracted me from this story. I wrote her the longest review ever, lol. It's like as long as my chapters, but it was worth it! Go check out her story, it's long. But, you'll survive and it'll be worth it. I love you Cayenne! Let me stop before I write nine pages about it.**

**WHAT IS, WHAT WAS, WHAT CAN BE! By, JACKJACKIO! Don't you just love that title? Anyway, I just finished reading the first two chapters of this story and I love it. It starts with Jude's wedding, but you don't know who she's marrying. The mystery is killing me. I just can't wait until another update. The writing is really good. You guys trust my judgment, check it out. You have to check her story out. Whoa, this girl is AMAZING! She honestly is reading my story and reviewing every chapter. I like love her. **

**INSPIRATION OF THE PAST, by MAZKALNS! Ah, I love this story! I really do. I can't wait until she updates. What will happen? Dun, dun, dun! I don't want to spoil anything...but. I don't know, this story rocks my socks. It makes them dance. I can't wait until she updates. I need to know what is going to happen. The author is really nice also, she's the best!**

**SAVING ME: SEQUEL TO I VOW! By, NESSALYN. If you haven't read "I Vow," you better. It was so sad, but so good. She knew exactly what she was doing, and it turned out nicely. This sequel won't disappoint, I promise. Just with the first chapter you're going to like this story, and author. Hey, I think I talk too much. I probably scared you away with the last thing I sent.**

**BANG THEORY! By, GILIWASCOOL! This story totally rocks. If you like Consequences you're going to love this story. It's honestly brilliant. Ah, I love it. So does Loren, so you know it's good. This girl is HILARIOUS! Ah, I'm still trying to recover. Her Patsy is hilarious. I'm off to read the new chapter. I seriously like love this girl now. She gets 100 out of 10 in my book.**

**HATERS OR LOVERS? By, ALEXZGIRL1! This story is so original, really. I just love it, and the author. She's a really good friend. She's always been nice to me. I love the idea. Jude doesn't know Tommy, and she hates him. He has a solo career and they end up having to go on tour together. Can't you just sense the drama? I talk to this girl everyday! You're going to like her. She'll even include you in her decisions. She's from Germany, how cool is that? I know someone from Germany!**

**JUDE AND TOMMY INSTANT LOVE FOREVER? By, TOMMYSGURL101. She always manages to review me. I love her, really do. She's just naturally nice. Some people are like that. This story is cute. Sadie, is well...something else.**

**I guess I shall write, or at least come up with a chapter title. Hmm, you know chapter 19 is going to have huge changes. We'll just have to wait and see. Damn, I have to write this chapter first. Damn! I need a chapter title. Off I go to find one. Hmm, I'll be talking to Loren also...Probably forcing her to write. **

**Next Day as always...**

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Chapter Eighteen: **_Confinement: Loren's Past_**

"Jude! I have the test. Stop throwing up. Jude!" Loren put the pregnancy test down on the side of the sink, as she rushed to Jude's side. Jude had been puking all morning and it was irking her last nerve. She held Jude's hair as Jude puked out what looked like her insides.

Jude sat back and grabbed the paper Loren held out. She wiped her mouth and looked completely horrible. She slowly got up, with Loren's help, and walked over to the sink. She began brushing her teeth for the third time. Loren grabbed the pregnancy test and began opening it. She watched Jude out of the corner of her eyes. She was brushing her teeth weakly. She wished Jude would just go to the hospital.

Jude tried not to think about the test. She focused on brushing her teeth, without looking in the mirror. She and Loren were in the Harrison household, Jude was glad no one was home. It was the only place she had to go, and she just wanted to take the test and hopefully put the whole mess behind her. Lucas had surprisingly not pressed charges on Tommy or her dad. She knew it was just another attempt to win her back. As Jude finished brushing her teeth, she stared at the engagement ring she still had on. She knew if she was pregnant a lot of decisions would be made.

Loren had the test out and ready. She had taken tons of pregnancy tests; she knew what she was doing. "Look Jude, I'm going to leave the room. You know what to do right?" Jude distractedly nodded her head. She was so nervous. She tried hard to control anymore throw up that was coming. Loren walked out of the room and shut the door. Loren stood outside waiting for a while.

Loren began humming waiting for Jude. She stopped as she heard someone coming down the hallway. She dodged into the nearest room, which happened to be Jude's room. She looked around at the room that hadn't changed a bit. She sat on the bed and waited for Jude. A few seconds later Jude crashed into the room. "Where's the test?" Loren looked at Jude's empty hands.

Jude looked at her nervously. "Well, I was waiting for the result when Sadie came in. I panicked and sort of threw it in the trashcan. Now she's in there and I don't know what to do. She doesn't know what Lucas did. She can't know. She thinks Tommy beat Lucas up because of the bruise on my back. She can't find out..." Jude felt dizzy as she touched the side of her head.

Loren got up and helped her to the bed. Loren knew how she felt. It was from lack of food. Loren felt that way the first time she stopped eating. She sat down next to Jude and tried to remain calm. "Calm down! We'll just wait until she comes out. Unless Sadie digs in trashcans, she won't find it. Don't worry so much. Also, I still think you should go to the hospital." She looked over at the now laying Jude.

A good deal of time had passed and Loren was becoming impatient. "What the hell is she doing in there? God, is she going number two?" She looked over at the barely awake Jude. She nudged her on the thigh with her hand. "Wake the hell up. She's your sister; get that bitch out of there!" She threw her hands in the air for emphasis.

Jude sat up and gave her an irritated look. "Loren, she could still kick your ass. I don't know what's she's doing. She could be getting ready for a date with Kwest." Jude shrugged and went to lie back down. She and Loren froze when they finally heard the bathroom door open. Loren got up and silently tapped her stiletto covered feet over to look out of the slightly opened door. Jude sat on the edge of the bed waiting for Loren to say it was okay.

Loren looked back at Jude and nodded her head. She ran out of the room before Jude could even get up. Jude walked into the bathroom and saw Loren's hand hesitantly going into the trashcan. She pulled out the test with a disgusted look on her face. Jude almost snatched it out of her hands with how long she was taking to look at it. Loren finally turned the test the right way and looked at it. Jude instantly saw her eyes widen. It was then that Jude feared the worst.

Loren looked up at her sympathetically and lowered the test in her hand. "Jude, just remain calm." Jude had already backed up against the wall and felt herself becoming sick again. She grabbed onto the doorknob tightly and closed her eyes. Loren walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Jude, it's positive. The stick turned pink. But, it's not that bad really. You could always just get an abortion. Loren's voice turned into a whisper and Jude could hear the hurt in it, "I've had one."

Jude forgot about her own problems and opened her eyes to examine Loren. She couldn't believe it. She knew she slept around, but she had no idea. "Whoa, when?" She stared at her sort of flabbergasted until Loren just shrugged her off. It was pretty obvious she just didn't want to talk about it. Jude wasn't one to argue anymore. She had finally, somewhat, grown up. She wouldn't be starting anything; she honestly didn't have the energy...Which could always turn out to be a problem.

Loren shrugged her off, "it's not that big of a deal. You learn to get over it; it was a long time ago. I try not to dwell on the past." She crossed her arms over her chest and you could tell it was a way of keeping her emotions locked inside. Jude sighed and went back to think about her pregnancy. What the hell was she going to do? She honestly didn't know what she was going to do. She had no choice but to just accept his proposal.

"Jude, what are you going to do? I can just see something stupid swimming through that head of yours. I really think we should go to the hospital to make sure. You can't always trust these test. Jude, come on." She grabbed Jude's hand and started leading her down the stairs. Jude was lost in thought and failed to notice that Loren was leading her out of the house.

Loren practically had to push Jude into her silver Mercedes-Benz SLR and put her seatbelt on for her. Loren quickly went around to the other side and got in. She politely warned Jude that if she threw up in her car, she would kill her. Loren put her foot on the gas and accelerated. She just wanted to get everything over with fast. She just didn't want Jude to be acting the way she was anymore. She kept telling herself she was sick of hanging out with Jude. She was only doing it because she had been through the same thing. "Jude, when this is all over, we're not friends." Jude nodded her head distractedly as she looked out of the window. Loren turned her head to look at her and knew she didn't really comprehend what she was saying.

"Loren, he's there. He's at the hospital. I don't even know how bad he is. I have to see him." She slowly turned her head to look over at Loren. She could see a frustrated expression cross Loren's face. It was her fault, she couldn't help it. Lucas was like a magnet, he always managed to snap her back. She just couldn't resist it. Before Jude even realized what Loren was doing, she quickly slammed on the brakes, startling all of the cars behind them. She heard all types of beeps and sounds coming from the angry drivers.

Loren turned her body best she could to look at Jude. "Are you kidding me! You don't still love him do you? You better not want to marry him. I'll fucking kill you Jude. Stop playing. I don't care if you're pregnant or not, you are not seeing him." Jude's jaw practically dropped as she witnessed the infuriated Loren begin to drive again. She was completely flabbergasted by what Loren had said. Why did she care so much if she wanted to see, or stay with Lucas? She really literally cared.

Loren ignored Jude's gaze and just kept on driving to the hospital. She just needed Jude to get a reality check. She honestly didn't understand what was wrong with the girl. This wasn't the strong independent Jude she had meant. It was pissing her off. In the back of her mind, Loren knew Jude only wanted Lucas because he wanted her. She understood that Jude wanted to be love...But, why couldn't she just go be with Tommy? He was out in the open now. She just wanted to punch Jude in the face.

Jude and Loren made it quickly into the hospital. Loren had called in a little before arriving there. She had sort of set Jude up with her doctor. He was always ready to do favors for Loren. She had her ways of thanking him. He'd drop any patient if she called. She and Jude sat down to wait until he was ready. Jude's mind drifted around and she thought about Kat. She knew Kat should have been the one sitting next to her. She felt a wave of sadness past through her. She really missed Kat, she felt extremely sad she was in New York. Jude looked over at Loren just as the nurse came out to call her name.

Jude nervously got up and slowly walked over the nurse. She smiled and opened the door. Jude looked back at Loren and followed the nurse inside.

Loren casually sat back and began looking through a magazine. She pulled her hat down so people wouldn't notice who she was. Last thing Jude needed was the tabloids finding out Jude might be pregnant. She started to become restless; she wondered what the heck Jude was doing. It was just a stupid pregnancy test. Time was passing slowly.

Jude walked out of the room finally and walked over to Loren. She didn't say anything as Loren got up and put the magazine down. "So, he'll just call you with the results later, right?" She watched Jude as she nodded her head. Loren could tell something was bothering her. She was being really quiet and seemed preoccupied. Loren waved a hand in her face. "Jude! Wake the hell up!" She spoke in a frustrated tone towards Jude's state of mind. She was sick of her closing into herself.

Jude ignored Loren as she took off walking quickly. She knew where she was going as she rushed down the hallway. She could hear footsteps coming behind her, but she kept walking. Loren firmly grabbed her wrist and stopped her. "Jude! You can't go see him Jude! No, I'm not going with you. You'll be stranded!" Loren pleaded with Jude and she thought she may have gotten in, when Jude turned around.

She looked Loren boldly in the eye and titled her head to the side slightly. "Then don't come." She yanked her wrist back and walked down the hallway quickly. She had a pretty good idea where he would be. She could hear the reluctant Loren walking behind her trying to keep up. Loren wanted to kill Jude. She couldn't believe she actually wanted to see Lucas. Worst part was Jude was dragging her along with her.

Jude slowed down as she saw Mr. and Mrs. Kelly in one of the waiting rooms. She slowly walked down the hallway and turned around to see where Loren went. She noticed her frozen at the end of the hallway. She stared at Lucas' parents and didn't move. Jude watched her for a moment and noticed how a look of sheer terror flashed over her face. But, it quickly slipped away as fast as it had come. Loren took a deep breath and walked up so she was directly behind Jude. Jude eyed her suspiciously for a moment but made her way down to his parents.

Lucas' parents quickly looked up as they noticed Jude approach them. Mrs. Kelly looked worn and tired. Jude could tell she had been crying. Was Lucas really that bad? He had gotten in bad fights before. Jude was almost afraid to look at Mr. Kelly. He, on the other hand, was the first to speak. "So, the whore that caused all of this finally arrives." He looked disgusted at Jude. She quickly walked over to Mrs. Kelly and tried to ignore him. She wanted to know how Lucas was.

As soon as Jude moved Mr. Kelly noticed Loren. His look quickly went from disgusted to a quick smirk. Loren crossed her arms and looked at the wall. She didn't move as she felt his gaze on her. "Loren, it's been a while. To bad my son left you. He goes for trash now. Shame, you're such a pretty girl." He slowly walked over to Loren and looked over to Jude and his wife talking. He slowly raised a hand to her cheek and she flinched. She quickly stumbled backwards. He laughed and she quickly darted her way into the restrooms.

Jude sat down next to Mrs. Kelly and she explained how Lucas was. "Jude, honey, he's really bad. He needs you; you don't understand how much he loves you." She gripped onto her coffee cup and looked at Jude urgently. "It's horrible. He has a concussion, a couple of knocked out teeth in the back of his mouth, a broken nose, a busted lip"...She started to tear up a bit as she thought of her poor sons pain... "A sprained neck, his right hand is broken, the pinkie finger on his left is broken, and two broken ribs." She cried rather noisily as she finished naming out the injuries. Jude could feel her heart breaking as she thought of the pain Lucas must be feeling.

Mrs. Kelly looked at Jude desperately through her tears. "Jude, oh Jude. You have to see him. He wants to see you. He loves you, he honestly does." Jude could only feel pain for the broken women before her. She looked down at the engagement ring and felt a sudden attachment to it. With the ring came an attachment to Lucas as well. She rubbed Mrs. Kelly's back and reassured her. She could only feel pain for the women; she was acting as if it were Lucas' funeral.

Loren looked in the bathroom mirror. She pushed her hair back and splashed cold water on her face. She normally had make-up on, but today she didn't. She felt a wave of nausea wash over her and it wouldn't go away. She hated Jude for dragging her along. She couldn't go out there. There was no way she could face Mr. Kelly. She thought she would never have to see him again. Yet there he was outside of the bathroom. He was probably waiting for her and it terrified her.

Jude took a deep breath and looked back at the bathroom door. She wondered where Loren was. She decided she would just have to go inside and visit Lucas. She felt so bad for Mrs. Kelly and she felt like it was her fault. She should never have shown Tommy the bruises, of course he would freak out. He always did have a temper. She breathed in deeply as she slowly put her hand on the doorknob. She could hear Mrs. Kelly's sobs in the background as she opened the door. She slowly made her way into the room and felt the words get caught up in her throat.

Loren slowly wiped her hands with the paper they provided in the bathroom. She tried hard to control her nausea. She didn't even have anything in her stomach to throw up. She didn't eat anything all day. She felt slightly dizzy as she leaned against the wall. She couldn't face Mr. Kelly. It was too painful; she couldn't deal with it now. She never did tell Jude the whole story.

Loren heard the bathroom door open and she turned around quickly. She backed up against the wall as she saw Mr. Kelly standing in the girl's room smirking at her. She could feel her heart almost jump out of her chest. She was absolutely terrified. He slowly made his way towards her. "Well, I always did expect you to mess up that record deal I got you. You never could do anything right. It's kind of a damn shame, though. Lucas shouldn't have thrown you away. You were fun." He licked his lips and zoned in around her. Loren crossed her arms and pressed herself harder against the wall. He put two arms up on the wall on either side of her. He bent his head down and put his lips against her ear. She could feel and hear him breathing and it made her physically sick. "I never did forget that night." Loren's body shook as she began crying. She had blocked that night out of her mind.

Jude felt like crying as she saw the helpless Lucas just lying on the bed. He looked really bad, it was worse than she had imagined. He couldn't even open one of his eyes. Tommy seriously could have beaten him into a coma. He hadn't heard Jude come in and she slowly made her way over to the bed. He turned his head best he could (which wasn't much due to the neck brace) to look at her. He didn't say anything as she stood by the bed. "Lucas, I'm so sorry Tommy did this to you." She reached out and grabbed his hand making sure not to hurt it.

Lucas allowed her to grab his hand but turned his head to the other side. His good eye stared at the wall. "Jude, if you wanted to break up you could have just told me. You didn't have to get your dog of a boyfriend on me." He turned his head again to look at her. Jude let go of his hand and felt herself becoming angry.

"Tommy is not my boyfriend! He beat you up because of this..." She lifted up one of the sleeves on her shirt and just showed him a glimpse of the bruises on her arm. Lucas closed his eye tightly and turned his head again. "Don't, don't show me that Jude! You know I never meant to hurt you." Jude felt bad and grabbed onto his hand again. She didn't understand why their relationship had to be so dysfunctional. Why couldn't it just me normal?

She was taken aback as she saw a tear fall down his face. Jude almost couldn't believe it. How could he actually be crying? Her heart broke, he really did love her. He turned his head, yet again and stared up at her. "Jude, I love you." His thumb and index finger twirled around the engagement ring on her hand. Jude had almost forgotten she had it on. She looked down at their hands intertwined. She watched the tear fall from her eye and drop on his hand.

"Jude, I love you so much. Just let me love me, let me marry you." He stopped playing with her ring and squeezed her hand gently. She could tell he was sincere with his words. She just didn't know if she could marry him. She also remembered there was one other thing she needed to take care off.

"Lucas, I really need to tell you something." She took some time to wipe her tears and collect herself. She was a wreck and didn't want to tell Lucas about the pregnancy like this. She was almost one hundred percent sure she was pregnant. She might as well let him know now. It was no way around it, she was marrying Lucas.

Jude took a deep breath and began doing what she knew was inevitable. "Lucas...I'm...or, at least I might be..." Just as just was about to say it Loren came busting into the room. Jude looked at her in shock as she noticed her disheveled appearance. Her hair was all messed up and her lipstick was smudged. Jude wondered what the heck she was doing. Her shirt was even ripped and Jude thought she saw a "passion mark."

Loren charged over to Jude and grabbed her arm. She began dragging her out of the room. "Jude we are fucking leaving, NOW!" Jude stumbled as Loren dragged her out. She could hear Lucas calling out her name, but she couldn't manage to stop Loren. Her wrist hurt as Loren's nails practically sliced down into it. Jude silently kept trudging her way behind Loren. She could tell something was seriously wrong.

Loren dragged her out to the parking lot and practically ran to her car. Jude stopped walking and rubbed her wrist. Loren turned around and looked over at her crazily. "Are you fucking coming? If not I'll leave your ass stranded. I shouldn't have even fucking come. Here I am trying to be there for you and you fucking treat me like a rug you can step on. Let's just go so you can get your fucking car and go back home to your bitch of a mom!" She climbed in her car and slammed the door shut. Jude stood in shock for a moment but quickly climbed into the car before Loren left her.

The car ride to Loren's place was quiet. She was driving like a maniac and Jude held on tightly. She didn't say anything; she didn't even look at Loren. She didn't know what happened, but she could guess it was pretty bad. Once they arrived Loren looked over at Jude waiting for her to get out. Jude quickly got up and stood to the side waiting for Loren to lock her car doors and put the alarm on. As soon as she was finished, she quickly started to make her way up to her apartment. Jude quickly walked behind her trying to keep up.

Loren bustled her way in and slammed her things down on her coffee table. She kicked her heels off and made it over to her couch. She sat down and wrapped her hands around her stomach. She looked like she was deep in thought. Jude just stood in the middle of the room looking around awkwardly. Loren realized her presence was still there and looked at her. "What are you doing? Get your keys and leave." Jude could see it in her eyes. She wasn't mad at Jude...She was really upset about something.

Jude walked over to the couch directly across from Loren and sat down. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." Jude looked at the keys to her Saleen on the coffee table. She picked them up and held them up in the air. "See, as soon as you tell me, I'll leave. Spill." She could see Loren thinking about it.

Loren looked up at Jude with tears in her eyes. It had been over a year but she couldn't hold it in anymore. She had to finally tell someone. She began crying as she told her the story. "Lucas and I were friends before we were even together. Kind of like you and Jamie. He would always come to me and tell me about how horrible his father was. His father used to beat on him and his mother. Well, anyway, when we finally began dating...It was perfect. Everything you could dream of, but better." She paused wiping the tears away. "Well, I kind of lied about what I told you earlier. He never was abusive to me. It was just on one occasion. It was around the time I decided to confront his father on his abuse to Lucas and his mother. You see, even after Lucas was grown and successful his father still had a tight hold on him. He would emotionally abuse him. The worst you could imagine. So, being the person that I am...I approached Mr. Kelly one evening when he was alone in his home..."

Her body shook and she put her hands over her face. Jude got up and walked over to sit down next to her. She rubbed her back. "It's alright Loren, you can tell me. What happened?" Loren wiped her eyes again and looked over at Jude with sad eyes. "Jude...he raped me. He raped me and beat me. He laughed the whole time as if it were nothing. He raped his son's daughter. But, that wasn't the worst part." She paused taking a deep breath, preparing herself to continue the story. "Lucas, walked in when he was on top of me. He thought it was consensual. He thought I was cheating on him with his father. He was heartbroken. But, he would never stand up to his father. He just ran out of the room. I couldn't even go after him. Not until he...it was done with me." She let out a whimper and Jude pulled her into a hug. She stroked her hair and fought back her own tears. She couldn't believe what Loren had been through.

Loren pulled away from Jude and was determined to finish her story without completely breaking down. "Lucas ignored me for a week. One full week. I had never been away from him that long. I needed him, mentally and physically, I needed him. Well, when he finally did agree to meet up with me. He hurt me Jude, really hurt me. It was the first time he had ever gotten physical with me. He took off my engagement ring and put it down the trash disposal in his apartment. He called me all types of things. It was horrible. He beat me so bad I couldn't walk. You know why? His father had told him I had thrown myself at him. He thought I wanted to have sex with his father. But after all of that Lucas actually wanted me back. I couldn't understand it, but he kept stalking me. I threatened them. That was when his father got Darius to talk to me. But, it was when I threatened to come clean about the rape was when he went all out and got Darius to get me signed." She finished her story with tears in her eyes since she had finally stopped crying. Jude just rubbed her back in reassurance. She was in shock but the whole story.

Loren took a deep breath and actually realized what she just did. She had told someone what had happened to her. Not just someone, Jude. She couldn't believe what she had done She vowed never to tell anyone. She was angry; she never opened up and cried in front of someone. She looked over at Jude and the sadness cleared away. "Get out, Jude. You're not my friend. Just take your Saleen and leave!" She didn't know what to do, but push her only friend away, it was her defense mechanism.

Jude looked at her in confusion. Why was she pushing her away? Jude knew it was going to be hard, but she wanted to be friends with Loren. She wasn't a bad person; she just had some problems in her life, just like Jude. Yet she was still there for her. "I'm not leaving Loren. Just admit it. You need someone to be there for you. You need a friend." She looked Loren boldly in the eye and wouldn't recoil to the look Loren was giving her.

Loren gave her a frustrated look and snatched the keys to the Saleen out of her hands. "Fine then, I'll leave. But, when I come back you better be gone, bitch!" She walked out of the apartment in a huff and left Jude in shocked silence. Jude knew Loren was only trying to keep up the wall she fought so hard to build. Under all of that was a person who was hurting. Despite her own problems, Jude still wanted to help her. If she didn't, who else would?

Jude looked around and realized she was stranded. Loren had taken Jude's car, but she also took the keys to her car as well. Jude had no idea what to do. The closest place was Lucas' empty apartment. She thought about her mustang. Where the hell was it? She remembered it was at Tommy's apartment. The day that she left, she didn't take it. Tommy's apartment was too far. The only other place she could walk to was the studio. She dreaded going there after what happened. If EJ was there she would be on Jude's last nerve trying to figure out what happened. But, she had no choice.

An hour later Jude finally made it to the studio. She was extremely tired and all she wanted to do was hit someone. She quickly made it over to the little fridge and grabbed some water. She was gulping it down when she saw Kwest round a corner. "Jude, good thing you came. I really think you should get started on recording a new song. And, I'm so not even going to ask what the heck happened yesterday." He took a sip of whatever he was drinking and made his way over to Studio B. Jude slowly followed him wondering if Tommy was there. She hadn't seen him since they hauled him off to jail.

Kwest walked in and sat in the chair next to Tommy. Jude kept her gaze from Tommy and went to go sit down on the couch. She could feel his gaze on her, yet no one spoke. Kwest cleared his throat and looked from one to the other. "Alright, this is annoying. Will you two just admit you want each other." Jude looked around awkwardly and Tommy looked over at Kwest like he might kill him. Kwest smirked and looked down at the soundboard.

Just as Jude was about to die from the awkwardness, her cell phone rang. She quickly looked at the caller ID and almost died when she noticed it was the hospital. She picked it up and had a short conversation. She could see Kwest and Tommy watching her as she spoke. "Are you sure?" The doctor confirmed that she was indeed, not pregnant. Jude was so relieved and she didn't even know what to do. She hung up the phone and began crying from relief. Tommy and Kwest eyed her confusedly; they had no idea why she was crying.

Tommy finally spoke. "Was that the hospital? Did Loser...I mean Lucas die? I hope so." Kwest spit out his drink (just missing the soundboard) and broke out in hysterical laughter. He was coiled over laughing and couldn't believe Tommy had said that. Jude wiped her tears away and looked at Tommy with an unreadable expression.

He shrugged, "it was a joke. I take it that wasn't what you heard? Who did call? No one died, did they?" He looked at Jude with regret at what he last said. I mean, what if Sadie was hurt or something and he goes and makes a joke. As Jude opened her mouth to say something, she was cut off by her phone. She looked at it again with a confused face. Why the hell was the hospital calling again?

She picked it up and listened, a look of sheer horror came over her face. Tommy and Kwest looked at each other in frustration. Who the heck was calling now? Jude hung up the phone and stared at it in shock. Tommy spoke again, "What is it Jude?" He rolled his chair over to her as she looked over at Kwest. "I need a ride, fast. I need to get to the hospital. Loren was in a car accident. They say she's alright, but I need to see for myself." Kwest quickly got up and looked back at Tommy. "Um, Tommy can drive you Jude."

Jude looked over at the silent Tommy. "No, I want you to drive me Kwest." She grabbed him by his sleeve and quickly pulled him out. She just didn't know how to act around Tommy anymore. She thought all she ever wanted was for him to admit he loved her, but after he did...It wasn't nearly how she thought it was going to be. She didn't know how she felt. She couldn't even be in the same room with him.

Kwest quickly drove her to the hospital and she jumped out of the car before it even stopped. She walked quickly into the hospital and found Loren's room. She saw Loren sitting on the hospital bed. She had her sleeves rolled up and Jude could see cuts and bruises. Loren had a pretty bad bruise on the side of her face. But, other then that Jude couldn't see anything else that was wrong. She made her way into the room, when the doctor rounded the corner. "Excuse me, are you Loren's sister?" the doctor smiled at her warmly.

Jude looked over at him. She thought over what he said for a second and instantly understood. "Yes, I'm her sister." Loren looked up as she heard Jude agree to being her sister. She instantly felt bad for all of the bad things she had done to her. The doctor pulled Jude aside and began speaking to her. "Well, as you know, she was in a car accident. She just has a few minor cuts and bruises. But, I happened to notice she has extreme anorexia. You really need to get her some help. She's a grown woman and I can't force her into treatment. But, here are some pamphlets. This is a really good place you could take her. He held them out to Jude and she took them. "Thank you, I'll talk to her about it."

Jude walked into the room and over to Loren. "Hey, what the heck happened?" She looked at her with sympathy and wasn't angry she crashed her car.

"Jude, I sort of totaled your car." She looked at her with a little worried expression, when Kwest came into the room. "It took me forever to find a parking space." He stopped speaking when he noticed Loren. "Ow, you face looks like it hurts." Loren just stared at him with a weird expression on her face. Jude spoke up, "hey Kwest, can you drive Loren home? I mean, she has no other way of getting home. I'm going to call Sadie for a ride. I'm not going back to the studio."

Kwest nodded and walked over to Loren. He helped her up (even though she didn't really need it) and they made their way to his car. Jude called Sadie and asked her to come pick her up. Sadie told her she'd only be a while and quickly made her way to the hospital. Jude explained to Sadie, in the car everything that had happened with Loren. She had decided she would tell Sadie about the pregnancy scare once they arrived to the house.

Jude and Sadie made their way into the Harrison household and Jude wasted no time in telling her. "Sadie, I thought I was pregnant." Sadie looked over at her in shock. She didn't even know Jude and Lucas had slept together. "You and Lucas...together?" Jude nodded her head. She didn't want to tell her all of the horrible details of that night.

"Yes, two days ago." As she finished talking she saw Sadie begin to laugh. She looked at her with a confused expression. She couldn't figure out what was so funny. "What the heck is so funny about that?"

Sadie stopped laughing and looked over at her. "You can't know if you're pregnant two days afterwards, stupid! That takes time. You don't even get morning sickness until six weeks afterwards." Jude looked over at her defensively. She wasn't stupid; the test had come out positive. "Well, the at home test came out positive. How do you even know so much about pregnancy!"

Sadie looked over at her with a look of realization over her face. "So, that was your negative test I saw in the trashcan this morning. I thought it was moms. Anyway, I did some research on pregnancy. That's why I know, silly." She smiled over at Jude.

Jude didn't return the smile; she looked over at Sadie suspiciously. "Why, for a class or something. That sounds stupid." Sadie laughed a little again. She had a suspicious look about her, as if she knew something Jude didn't.

"No, that positive test you thought was yours...Was mine. I'm pregnant Jude. If you found a positive test in the trashcan, it was mine. I found out this morning." She looked over at Jude with a smile. She didn't look sad or anything. She actually looked happy.

Jude's jaw dropped. Kwest was going to be a father. She couldn't even believe it. She was going to be an aunt.

Sadie's life was perfect...

What was becoming of Jude's?

**

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****Alright, that's it! There is going to be major changes in chapter 19. You'll have to wait and see. Anyway, I love you Cayenne! Hmm, I felt bad for Loren in this chapter. **

**I so have to hurry up and send this. I took pretty long. I'm not even going to edit. Oh well, I hope you guys liked it.**

**REVIEW and REVIEW! Chapter 19 is going to be memorable, I promise.**

**-Ruby**

**You better be writing Cayenne.**


	19. Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over

**Dun, Dun, Dun...**

**NATURAL DISASTER! By, SCENTED CANDL3S! I freaking love this story. It only has two chapters, but it already has me hooked. I swear it's physically killing me! I need an update already! But, you know, I haven't reviewed her new chapter yet. You guys need to help me out. I haven't reviewed yet, so you guys make up for me. You'll love it, I promise.**

**CONSEQUENCES! AH! Cayenne, must I even go on. You guys know the drill. Go read this story. It's a trillion times better than mine. I mean, come on! We all know it's true. This story is like...AH! Lol, love ya, Cayenne. I swear, after reading this story it'll stay with you. It's like the best thing ever. I honestly adore it. No other story gets me going like this. Well, "Bang Theory" and "Tit for Tat" come close. But, I adore this story. The storyline, author, writing, even author's notes. Every last thing about this story rocks harder than Patsy!**

**WHAT IS, WHAT WAS, WHAT CAN BE! By, JACKJACKIO! Shout out to Kerilyn. Love ya, girl. Love this story. No other will have you as torn as this one does. I mean, it might even make you not want Jude with Tommy. Is that even possible, you ask. Well, with this great story anything is possible. I adore the character she created. Everything about this story screams...REAL!**

**INSPIRATION OF THE PAST, by MAZKALNS! Ah, when will you update? I seriously love this story. It rocks hard. It actually manages to surprise me. I don't know. I just really love it. The writing rocks and it's extremely hot. Caution: May cause you to have a heatstroke. **

**SAVING ME: SEQUEL TO I VOW! By, NESSALYN. We all read "I Vow." We all loved it. So, come on people! Where the heck are you for the sequel! I command you to read it and review. Don't worry; it's just as good as "I Vow." You don't have to worry. Great author also. She's really nice.**

**BANG THEORY! By, GILIWASCOOL!...I FREAKIN' ADORE THIS STORY! No, lie! It's phenomenal. It has me cracking up like every five seconds. I don't even know what it is. It'll really suck you in and I officially love it. I feel like a little five year old on Christmas morning when she updates. I swear, this and Consequences gets me hype! I love it! Hmm, I just adore it! Ah! But, it's finished! I feel so empty...But, at least we have...**

**TIT FOR TAT! By, GILIWASCOOL! The sequel to "Bang Theory," just as good as the first! I lie to you not! It will not disappoint. It's been great so far and only getting better. I don't want to give anything away, but I swear it makes me sing. Great writer, great story, it's just RUBIOUS! I'm sure Cayenne will agree. Five stars for this one!**

**HATERS OR LOVERS? By, ALEXZGIRL1! Shout out to Annika! Love ya, girl! This girl is the sweetest thing ever. You'll instantly like her. She's been a good friend of mine for a long time now. Her story has a very original storyline. I like how she doesn't go with the same tired concept. Love ya. You'll see just how much!**

**JUDE AND TOMMY INSTANT LOVE FOREVER? By, TOMMYSGURL101. Love this girl also. She's really nice and she really tries. She's not like some people, she actually cares. She reviews all of my chapters no matter what. Like I always say, she's just naturally nice.**

**READ THIS BEFORE CHAPTER: Anyway**, I'm about to begin the chapter we've all been waiting for. Well, at least, the chapter I've been waiting for. I hope it lives up to my expectations. Anyway, like I've kept saying HUGE changes. Here it is. I shall begin writing...I hope I don't confuse anyone. The whole chapter consists of a bunch of flashbacks to explain everything. So, when I jump into flashbacks, the **first **and **last** words will be bold. Um, songs will always only be italics. I thought long and hard about my decision to move it up to the future. I decided I would, so here it** is...**

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Chapter Nineteen:**_ Reinventing The Wheel To Run Myself Over_**

About three years after the last chapter

Jude awoke to the light sound of water coming from the bathroom. She opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling. She could tell it was midmorning due to the sun shining in through the curtains. She knew she should have gotten better curtains. These just let all of the light in. She rolled on her side and realized she _wasn't_ wearing anything except for boxers. She thought about the night before. She was a little hung-over and a bit dazed. She listened to the shower running for a bit, but decided it best she get some clothes on. She reached down and grabbed her bra and his shirt. She slipped both on and buttoned up the shirt. She liked the feeling of wearing his clothes. She remembered bits and pieces of her night and it was good memories. Bur, she knew either way she was going to get hurt. She touched her head and tried not to move so much. She didn't want to get out of bed, so she needed something to busy herself with.

She looked over at her nightstand and noticed the photo album she had been working on the day before. It held all of her memories for the past three years. She grabbed it and put it down on the bed in front of her. She had it set up like a scrapbook and she never finished working on it. There were so many more pictures she wanted to put in. It was sort of like her diary. She would put pictures in it and describe what was going on in the picture, or how she felt about it. Her twenty-first birthday was yesterday, but she knew it wouldn't change anything. Some things were never meant to be. She had to admit, she felt no regret. Some _things_ would never change, but she sure had.

She opened it to the first page and lightly ran her fingers over the first picture. She loved that day. It was, of course a memorable day. Any day that involved Sadie was memorable. She remembered the day Sadie had her baby as if it were yesterday. She laughed (quickly regretting it when she felt her headache becoming stronger) looking at the picture of Sadie squeezing Kwest's hand tightly. She turned the page and smiled looking at Kwest's face when he held his baby for the first time. It was quite the memorable day...

**Sadie **held onto Kwest's hand tightly as the nurse told her to push a little more. She screamed out "bloody murder" just as Kwest swore he heard something crack in his hand. "Ah, Sadie! My hand!" He looked around the room for support. Everyone was to busy watching or helping Sadie and failed to notice Kwest's hand was breaking.

Jude held onto Sadie's other hand and was trying to keep her calm. Even in childbirth Sadie looked beautiful. She continued screaming out and squeezing their hands. Jude tried not to feel the pain, but instead be a support system for Sadie. Victoria stood near the doctors watching the head come out. She held onto Sadie's knee and told her words of encouragement. Jude knew if she actually witnessed the birth she would become physically ill. Much like their father did.

Stuart sat in one of the couches in the room fanning himself. After Jude was born he vowed never to see another birth again, but there he was watching his daughter give birth. Jude looked over at him and laughed. "I don't know who I should be more worried about... You or Sadie. Come on dad, even Kwest is doing good." She looked over at Kwest and realized he wasn't doing so well. She swore his face looked green. She laughed, but stopped quickly as Sadie let out another ear screeching scream.

Sadie finally let go of their hands as she instead gripped on the sheets for support. Kwest held onto his wrist and jumped from side to side shaking his hand around. "It's dead! It's dead!" He stopped jumping as Sadie gripped onto the bottom of his shirt. "Stop jumping or I'll kill you! I hate you! You did this to me!" Tommy laughed from a corner in the room and raised his coffee cup, as if toasting. He had been quiet the whole time up until that point. They weren't even aware of his presence. Kwest told him to be there since he was like a brother. Tommy chose to stay away from the chaotic scene before him and recoil to a corner instead.

"You should have thought before you knocked her up Kwesty-Kwest." Tommy stopped speaking when he noticed the evil look he was getting from good ol' Stuart. Tommy coughed awkwardly and hid behind his coffee cup as he took another sip. The doctor spoke as Sadie was finally almost done delivering. She dug her nails into Kwest's arm. "That's it Sadie! Just one more strong push! You can do it." Jude almost held her breath as Sadie screamed out, pushing for the last time. The sound of crying filled the room.

The room was silent as the doctor held up the little baby. "It's a girl!" He wiped the baby off some and gave her to Sadie to hold. She began crying as she held onto the little baby girl before her. Everyone watched in joy. They held out the scissors to Kwest. "You want to cut the umbilical cord, right?" The nurse took the baby from Sadie and cleaned her off more. Kwest took the scissors and looked at them nervously. "Uh, what if I miss. I don't want to cut her." The whole group burst out laughing at Kwest's idiotic comment. He reluctantly cut the cord and looked around in triumph. They cleaned the baby girl and walked off with her. Kwest walked over to sit by Sadie. She lay back on the bed exhausted.

Time passed and they bought the baby back. Vic and Stu were out getting coffee and calling everyone that wasn't there. So, it was just Jude, Tommy, Kwest, and Sadie in the room. Sadie held the baby and looked up at Kwest. "Here, hold your daughter." She held out the little baby and Kwest looked a little frightened. Tommy laughed at him. "What? You try holding a fragile little baby." He held out his arms and scooped the little baby up. He looked down at her lovingly and seemed to forget his surroundings as he bounced her up and down. Jude and Sadie watched him with smiles on their faces.

Jude looked over at Sadie. "So, what are you going to name the baby?" Tommy came over and stood next to Jude. Sadie looked around as if thinking about it. "Well, I've thought about it for a while now. But, I think I have the perfect name." Kwest looked up from his trance and waited to hear what their beautiful baby girl would be named. Sadie smiled and then spoke, "Annika Kerilyn Davis." Davis was oddly Kwest's last name. You would expect it to be something unique, but it wasn't. Kwest and Sadie weren't married yet, but they soon would be. Sadie didn't want to look fat on her wedding day.

Kwest looked at her. "Hey, you didn't waste any time thinking of a name, did you?" Sadie smiled and nodded her head. She knew she would be having a girl. She just felt it. Jude spoke, "hey, you know you want to name the baby Jude." Jude reached out to hold the baby. Kwest acted as if he were going to run off, but let Jude hold the baby. She smiled down at the little life in her hands and rocked her around. Tommy stood next to her looking at the baby. Even after nine months they still weren't together. Tommy had accepted it as one of those things that would never happen. Though, he wasn't happy about it.

Jude smiled up at him. "Here, you hold her Tom." Tommy looked at Jude like she was crazy. "Um, kids and I don't mix." He backed up and she started laughing. Kwest kissed Sadie's forehead as she fell asleep. He moved aside to where Tommy and Jude stood. "Hey, Mr. Big Tough Guy. You were the one that was laughing at me earlier. Is Tom afraid of a little baby girl?" Tommy eyed him with frustration, but walked over to Jude. "It's just a baby. Besides, if I drop her, she isn't mine." He smiled evilly just as he took the baby from Jude. Kwest let out a low gasp of air and covered his mouth in sheer horror. Jude laughed and put her hand on her forehead. "Who's going to help us now?" Tommy held the baby in his arms and knew one day he wanted one. The feeling was amazing. He knew then, he really wanted to be a father someday. He looked up at Jude and she smiled warmly at** him.**

Jude turned the page and looked at the pictures of Sadie and Kwest's wedding. Sadie had looked beautiful, as always. Overall, it was a crazy and hectic day. Not to mention, it wasn't the best day for Jude. Sadie was beginning her life and Jude was watching hers go by. Jude turned the page to the picture where Sadie had put her wedding dress on. Everyone watched in awe...

"**Sadie, **you look gorgeous!" Cayenne let out a little scream of joy. She was Sadie's wedding planner and now, best friend. She was a slightly tall and slender woman, with flawless skin and a devastating smile. Her hair was a dark slightly brownish color of blonde. She clapped her hands and her silver bracelets clanged together noisily, annoying the hell out of Jude. Jude looked her up and down, observing her outfit. She was wearing a simple light blue halter dress, with a pin tucked low V neckline, which was too low for Jude's liking. The spilt in the front was too high for Jude's liking. She had snuck away from her wedding planner duties to see Sadie completely ready. Sadie looked over at Jude and she quickly smiled. Satisfied with Jude's smile, she went back to admiring herself in the mirror.

"Um, I really think you should be working, Cayenne." Jude dropped her voice to a whisper and leaned in so that only Cayenne could hear her, "Sadie would die if anything went wrong!" She straightened up and looked at Cayenne with sheer worry and concern. Cayenne nodded her head in agreement and looked around a little worriedly. She said her goodbyes and good lucks to Sadie, while Jude rolled her eyes. She walked out of the room and it was Jude's turn to smile at Loren, as she put a finger down her throat and made it seem like she was going to gag as Cayenne walked by. In the recent months Jude and Loren kept their friendship going strong. Jude tired to get Loren in treatment, and in time she knew she would. Until then, Jude was lonely and depressed. She had adapted to Loren's nightlife and wasn't exactly herself any longer.

She looked over at Sadie, "you really do look breath taking." Sadie looked over at Jude and smiled again. She was too nervous to speak. She was wearing a Vera Wang original, which cost as much as a house. It was Jude's wedding gift to Sadie, a white, strapless design with a fitted bodice which flowed into a ballgown skirt. A diaphanous veil was fastened to Sadie's blonde tresses, which were gathered together in a loose, upswept style.

"Only because of you!" She walked over to Jude and grabbed both of her hands. "Thank you so much for helping me pay for this." Jude could see how ecstatic Sadie was all over her face. Sadie looked Jude up and down. She smiled, Jude was her maid of honor, and she looked beautiful. She was wearing the dress Sadie had picked out. All of the bridesmaids were wearing the same dress, except theirs was a light pink. Jude was wearing a metallic sage strapless A-line dress, with an asymmetrically draped front, sprinkled with bugle beads. It fit her exactly the way it should. Her hair was let down so it would cascade over her shoulders. "Jude, you look, wow!" She bent down to whisper in Jude's ear, "Chase is here." She smiled at Jude, like Jude was a teenager with a crush. Jude smiled back weakly.

Chase was Cayenne's younger brother. He was cute, but that was it. There wasn't much else to him. He was extremely sweet and he liked Jude. For the past months of wedding planning Cayenne and Sadie had been throwing Jude and Chase together, unexpectedly. She liked him, but how she liked Jamie, nothing more. Jude had her mind preoccupied on Tommy much more. He and Cayenne had been flirting last night at the rehearsal dinner and Jude was jealous. She wasn't afraid to admit, she was extremely jealous. She was just glad she would be the one walking down the aisle with Tommy. He was, after all, the best man. Kwest wouldn't have it any other way.

Victoria barged into the room holding little Keriann. That was the new nickname Kwest had come up for the baby; he liked to mix the two names together. It just kind of stuck. She gasped when she saw Sadie and dumped the baby in Jude's arms. Jude looked down and rocked the little girl back and forth in her arms. Last thing they needed was a crying baby at the wedding. "Sadie! My beautiful little daughter!" Jude and Loren watched in dismay as Vic and Sadie tried to keep from crying. It was becoming a bit much for the single ladies of the group. Jude's mom, Victoria, was far from single. She was dating some mystery man.

Cayenne bustled her way back into the room and silenced everyone by clapping her hands again. Jude cringed at the sound of the bracelets clanging. Loren silently laughed. "We need everyone ready! Places! No time for chit-chat! Places!" She navigated around the room as if she were with children. Victoria and Sadie jumped at her request and looked excited. Loren and Jude looked at each other in annoyance.

Victoria grabbed the fussy Keriann and looked around desperately. "I can't hold the baby and walk Sadie down the aisle!" Sadie had requested both her mother and father walk her down the aisle. She loved her father, but she felt more of a connection to her mother. She knew she wanted her to walk her down the aisle. She wanted both of her parents to give her way. It was, only right in her eyes. Sadie had to have everything perfect, as always. It was why she and Cayenne got along so well.

Cayenne looked around for a solution. "Well, I could hold the baby." Sadie and Victoria looked at her and smiled thankfully. "I'd miss the ceremony, but its okay." Jude rolled her eyes clearly noticing she didn't really think it was ok. Cayenne took Keriann from Vic and she started to cry uncontrollably. Cayenne tried to calm her but it was no use. Cayenne passed her to Jude quickly. Keriann immediately stopped crying. Everyone looked over at Jude in surprise. Cayenne crossed her arms.

Jude looked down at her and simply held her in her arms. Sadie smiled, "well, she seems to like her auntie." Jude smiled back and continued rocking Keriann. She could do nothing but think about the ceremony. She wanted it to begin already; she wanted nothing more than to be walking next to Tommy already. Cayenne hurried Loren to her seat and when she got back all of the bridesmaids were in place. Jude was at the back of the line holding Keriann.

"No, no! You can't walk down the aisle holding a baby." Jude felt like she was in high school again practicing how to walk down the aisle for graduation. Cayenne was frustrating the hell out of her and she seriously wanted to hit her. She wished Loren was at least there so they could hate her together.

"Well, what do you suggest I do? I mean, she hates you." Cayenne seemed too distracted to notice what Jude was saying. She was trying to figure out what to do with Keriann. The only people that could calm her from fussing were people involved in the wedding. She walked to the end of the line and started to talk too Sadie about what they should do.

Sadie looked around in thought and then it hit her. Jude could just tell by the look on her face it was bad. "Well, Cayenne could walk with Tommy down the aisle and Jude could walk with the baby. I mean, she's not fussy when she's in your arms. It'll look so nice in the pictures. You wouldn't mind watching her, would you? She adores you Jude. Sadie looked over at Cayenne and smiled. "We'll have Tommy adoring you by the end of the night." They let out some laughter and Cayenne looked thrilled. Jude wanted nothing more than to kill someone. Cayenne went to inform the guys and came running back.

The ceremony started and everything was going fine. Jude waited in the line of long bridesmaids to walk down the aisle. Sadie always was quite the popular one. Jude looked down at little Keriann and couldn't help but smile. Jude wanted nothing more than to be walking with Tommy, but Keriann was just so cute. She looked up when she noticed the bridesmaid in front of her start to walk. Jude moved up to the doorframe and waited until the bridesmaid made it to the side of the alter.

Jude noticed how it was decorated for the first time. It was captivating with the flower arch Sadie had set up. It was adorned in pink roses, pink being Sadie's favorite color. Pink roses cascaded over the sides of the church pews held up by metallic sage colored ribbons. Pink wouldn't have been Jude's color choices but it looked beautiful. They were in a Catholic church, although neither Sadie nor Kwest were religious. Cayenne suggested it and after seeing the church, Sadie was sold. Jude agreed; it was beautiful and big.

Jude snapped out of her thoughts when she noticed it was her turn to walk. She started to gait slowly down the aisle. She saw lots of smiles when people noticed she had Keriann with her. She looked up at the alter and noticed the nervous Kwest. She smiled at him as she saw him moving from side to side. He never could hold still when he was nervous. She thought it was cute, but he had nothing to be nervous about. He looked great. He was wearing a black suit by Ralph Lauren, which was offset with a white shirt, metallic sage tie and a pink rose boutonniere. Sadie also made sure he was completely shaven.

She made it to the left side of Kwest and looked out to the aisle as Cayenne and Tommy came out. She didn't understand why she couldn't just walk with Tommy and the baby. It didn't even look right. Cayenne had on a different dress from the rest of the girls. Jude looked over at Tommy and she couldn't deny he looked good. She noticed Cayenne's tight grip around his arm and it pissed her off. She also noticed she was whispering things to him and it was making him smile. Tommy tried to avert his gaze from looking at Jude. He knew she looked amazing; he tried to keep his attention on Cayenne. He could feel Jude's eyes on him, but what could he do? She made it clear they would never be together; he was trying to move on.

Jude continued to rock Keriann, but she wasn't really paying her mind. Jude looked around and noticed Loren sitting on Kwest's side. She also had a disgusted looked on her face seeing Cayenne and Tommy walking down the aisle. She just couldn't understand why Jude wouldn't make a move. If she really wanted Tommy, she didn't act like it. She barely acknowledged him most of the time when he entered a room.

Cayenne and Tommy made it down the aisle. Cayenne stood next to Jude and Tommy stood on the right side of Kwest. Cayenne smiled at Jude and down at Keriann. Jude chose to ignore the smile and continued looking straight ahead. There were seven bridesmaids and groomsmen in all. Sadie's favorite number was seven. She made sure he found seven groomsmen fast. Half of them were the members of Boyz Attack! except for Chaz.

Jude watched as this cute little boy all dressed up in a suit made it down the aisle. He was holding a beautiful light pink pillow bearing two rings. The pillow had the metallic sage colored words: "_Our Love Will Last Forever_," sewn on. Jude had to admit it was beautiful but, she had never seen the little boy before. He was cute, but, he wasn't in her family. She knew he wasn't in Kwest's either. Next, the little flower girl made it down the aisle scattering pink roses all around the aisle. She actually did a good job; she didn't forget to scatter some. She never saw the little girl before either, but she was cute.

Jude leaned over to Cayenne. "Hey, um, who are these little kids?" She waited for the answer and hoped Cayenne would hurry up before Sadie came out. Her arms were growing insanely tired from holding Keriann. She couldn't wait until Sadie did make it down the aisle so Cayenne could take her. She also just didn't want Cayenne next to her. Tommy kept staring at her and it was irking.

"Child actors." She stood up straight as the wedding march came on. Jude couldn't believe she actually got child actors to be at Sadie's wedding. It was more than a little strange. Jude directed her attention to her mother, father, and Sadie. They all looked nice, but Sadie was just breathtaking. Jude heard sharp intakes of breath as everyone saw Sadie. She smiled and Jude couldn't help but smile when she looked at Kwest. He had finally stopped moving and his eyes were only on Sadie. It seemed as if he were in awe...

The reception hall was beautiful and everything was moving along perfectly. Jude sat at her table next to Chase and Loren. Jude gulped down her water as she heard something buzzing in her ear. She looked to the side and noticed it was Chase talking. She was too preoccupied with watching Tommy and Cayenne flirt to notice what he was saying. Loren was also being oddly quiet. She thought she would have told Chase to shut up already. She looked over at Loren and noticed something strange about her. She looked thoroughly depressed and Jude didn't know why. Loren had her elbow on the table and put her hand on her forehead. She looked like she might be sick. "Loren..."

Jude was interrupted by the loud sound of Cayenne welcoming Mr. and Mrs. Davis to the dance floor. Everyone clapped and Sadie and Kwest stood in the middle of the dance floor, for their first dance. She knew Sadie made Kwest take dance lessons, it was Cayenne's suggestions. Jude really didn't like her. Jude began searching with her eyes around the place. "By Your Side," by Sade played softly in the background as Kwest and Sadie slowly started to dance. Jude looked at them briefly but couldn't keep her attention on them. She kept glancing around for Tommy. She finally found him and he wasn't alone. Cayenne was flirting with him again. He was giving her all of his attention and Jude couldn't help but be jealous.

Jude's train of thought was broken when she felt a hand over hers. She looked down and then turned in her seat to look at Chase. "Jude, were you listening to me? I'm sorry if I talk too much. I'm probably just a big bore. I know you probably don't like guys like me. Not that I like you or anything. I'm just saying. Um, you usually go for guys like Lucas Kelly." The last thing Jude wanted to think about was Lucas. She got up and quietly made her way outside. "Uh, did I say something wrong?"

Loren looked at him incredulously. "Yeah, you said something wrong." She let her head slump back into her hands. Neither she nor Jude was having a very good time. Sadie and Kwest sure were. She looked out to them dancing in time to catch Kwest dip Sadie. Cayenne and Tommy were having a good time as well. Loren just feared it was the start of something. She feared it was the start of something for them and the end of something for **Jude.**

Jude sat back and pulled the album up on her lap. She reflected on her life back then. She had no idea it would become so complicated. Her life could never be easy. Even when she was having the perfect time, she knew it could never really be perfect. It was always something standing in her way. She turned the page and looked at Loren smiling back at her. She smiled remembering the day Loren had come out of her treatment center. She looked so much better after she gained some weight. She turned the page and looked at the picture of them in the studio together. She remembered how tired they were when they decided to write a song together. After her treatment, Jude had got her signed to G-Major again. Loren didn't have any ideas for a single. Jude had decided to help her write one. She had pretty much given up singing after what happened with Lucas. Everyone tried to get her to sing again, but she couldn't. She remembered the night when she helped Loren write a song. It had become so much more than just a song...

**Jude **sat in the studio waiting for Loren to arrive. It was awkward being in the studio she had avoided for such a long time. It held so many memories and it was almost painful to be there. Jude tapped her pen on her notebook. Kwest began banging his pencils on the soundboard as if they were drumsticks; he started to go with Jude's beat. They kept it going for some time, until Jude burst out laughing. "Hey, I was just getting into it. I was even getting a rap made up to go with it! My name is Kwest and I'm the best!" Jude looked at him with an "are you kidding me" look, and then they both burst out laughing again.

Loren walked into the room as they just finished laughing. "Hey, what's so funny? I want in on the laugh." Jude stopped laughing and looked up at Loren. She gasped and got up to walk towards her. Loren had dyed her hair black. She looked like a different person.

"Oh my God, Loren! You look gorgeous." Jude and Loren hugged for a while and Jude touched her hair in disbelief. She didn't look like a twit blonde anymore. She stepped back and noticed something else. "Oh my God! Did you get your breast implants taken out?" Loren smiled and nodded. She didn't want to be plastic or fake anymore. She was finally trying to be herself.

Jude smiled and looked over at Kwest. He picked up his jaw quickly and looked down. "Um, yeah, you look nice Lor." Loren smiled, "thanks Kwest." He looked up and he and Loren stared at each other for a while. Jude watched them and started to feel a little uncomfortable. Kwest finally looked away from her gaze and turned to the soundboard. Loren looked over at Jude. "So, let's get started on that song."

Jude nodded and waited for Loren to get her stuff out. "Well, I was thinking and I just don't know what to write about. I really want to go out of my box. I mean, let's face it, pop isn't my thing. I want to write a song that actually means something to me. Like you do, Jude. Your songs are always brilliant." She smiled at Jude.

Jude nodded her head. She was looking at a completely different Loren. She had a feeling she might like this one much better. "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean Loren. I think that's good. We just need to think about something that is really close to you. Something that can really pull your emotions out." Jude started to bang her pen on her notebook again. She didn't know if there was anything like that.

Loren looked up suddenly and almost jumped out of her chair. "I got it! I got the perfect thing." She smiled mischievously. Jude looked at her confusion as she started to write furiously on her notebook. Kwest wheeled his chair over and tried to look at what she was writing but she pushed his chair away. After a she was done she smiled down at it. "Yeah, I got the perfect inspiration."

"Well, what the heck is it? Are you going to let me hear it or what?" Jude and Kwest looked over at each other and wondered what had her so inspired. Loren seemed to be working out something in her head. She leaned over and grabbed Jude's guitar. She began playing a tune on it and looked down at the lyrics she had.

_I'm not asking for what you're giving_

_I'm free, don't need your permission_

_Won't give you control of how I'm living_

_And you can't force my submission_

_Into letting you do what you want to me_

_I'll do what I want of my own... _

Loren stopped playing and looked down at the lyrics. She couldn't find a word that fit in with the rest of the lyrics. "Loren, I love it, it's sounding great so far." Jude thought about it and realization came striking down on her like a ton of bricks. The song was about Lucas. He was going to be Loren's inspiration. An uncontrollable itch to help Loren write this song came over Jude. She got up and walked over to sit next to Loren. She peered down at the lyrics and sang them over in her head. "_Volition_." Loren looked up at her and Jude sang it out for her. "_I'll do what I want of my own volition._"

Kwest watched in amazement as Jude and Loren seemed to be bursting out with inspiration throwing out lyrics left and right. They seemed to just flow with how they felt about the man that had once been in both their lives. As they almost finished the song they made Kwest leave until they had it all perfectly worked out. Loren and Jude worked perfectly together. They seemed to feel exactly the same about Lucas.

_Too bad you didn't count on this wall_

_It's my turn; I'm taking a firm stand_

_I'm going to be your ultimate _

Loren sang out passionately and looked over at Jude with frustration. She had trouble finding words that would rhyme with the lyrics she came up with. Jude sang over the lyrics. "_Downfall._"Loren laughed and wrote the word down. She couldn't believe Jude wasn't singing anymore. She could see it all over her face when she would come up with lyrics or sing them over. She lived for singing, it was her passion.

After lots of scribbled lyrics, nearly ripped out hair, and empty coffee cups, they finally finished the song. They had come up with the perfect melody. Jude went to go grab her guitar and Kwest. He came in with his eyes barely open. He yawned and walked over to the couch. He sat down and looked at the perky girls before him. "No more coffee for you two. Do you have any idea how long you took? My baby's mama is going to kill me." Jude laughed as if she didn't know exactly who he was talking about.

"Oh please, Sadie doesn't even let you hold her." She laughed and he opened his mouth to say something. "Only because I almost dropped her once." Loren started laughing and he looked as if he didn't get what was so funny. "What? What the hell is so funny?" She and Jude laughed for a bit and shrugged him off. They picked up their guitars and Jude started to play first. She knew this was going to be a hardcore song. The lyrics were plain and raw. They spilled out all of their emotions. She was proud to have helped Loren write it. Loren joined her and began playing along. Kwest moved his head to the beat. Loren opened her mouth and out came a voice Kwest had never heard before.

_I'm not asking for what you're giving _Loren's voice sounded raw and full of rage. She seemed to completely lose herself as she really got into the song. Her hands poured into the guitar. Jude watched with a smile on her face. This was the potential she knew Loren had.

_I'm free, don't need your permission_

_Won't give you control of how I'm living_

_And you can't force my submission_

_Into letting you do what you want to me_

_I'll do what I want of my own volition_

Loren kept playing her guitar but stopped singing. She sighed heavily and looked over at Jude. She stopped playing, "Jude, you have to sing this with me. You have to sing your parts. They're personal; they have to do with you. It isn't right if I sing them. Let's sing the song together." Kwest's face beamed at the idea. He had been trying to get Jude back in the studio for the longest time. Everyone just wanted to hear her voice again.

Jude looked at them hesitantly. She wasn't sure if she was ready to record again. She had written it out of her life for so long. It had been practically a year since she last really sang. "Come on Jude. This song wouldn't even be written if it weren't for you. Loren started to play her guitar again without waiting for an answer. She nudged Jude and she began playing. Loren would begin with the chorus and then Jude would sing everything she had written. That was what Loren wanted.

_I'm not asking for what you're giving_

_I'm free, don't need your permission_

_Won't give you control of how I'm living_

_And you can't force my submission_

_Into letting you do what you want to me_

_I'll do what I want of my own volition_

She stopped singing and waited for Jude to do her verse. Jude kept playing and looked from Kwest to Loren. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth. Here goes nothing, she thought. She began singing and everyone else disappeared around her. The only thing she could see was the guitar she cradled in her arms. It was just her and the music.

_You're not my boss, and I'm not your girl_

_What you are doing is against the law_

_Thinking about you makes me want to hurl _Loren looked over at Kwest and smiled. They had finally gotten Jude to sing and she sounded exceptionally well. Kwest had put his coffee down and sat on the edge of his seat into the song. He laughed at Jude's lyric.

_Look at the dark marks you left on my jaw _Jude rang out this lyric with pure intensity. She could still see the marks in her mind. She couldn't forget the way he hurt her. She wouldn't forget the way he hurt her. She felt a sense of freedom as she sang it out. She knew she was finally letting Lucas go. She couldn't live on still thinking about him. She knew it was what held her back from being with Tommy.

Loren picked up where Jude left off. She couldn't help but smile as she sang the sad lyrics. She and Kwest both knew this song was going to be a hit. She never saw Jude sing the way she just had. Loren sang out the lyrics easily. She related to every word she sang.

_Oh, I'll do anything to get you off my back _She strummed on her guitar violently and screamed out the lyrics.

_I can't stand one more physical attack _She passionately sang out her message. It felt empowering to finally sing how she wanted to, about who she wanted to. She looked over at Jude and could see she was concentrated on her guitar.

_I won't have my world keep fading to black_

_When you make me lose consciousness again _Her voice lowered as she sang this lyric. She thought of the time Lucas made her black out. She strummed on her guitar a little more violently. She threw her head back as she strummed down on it. She closed her eyes and let her hands take over. Jude had no idea she could even play so good. Jude began singing.

_You pretend that you're a decent man_

_Acting so well you've fooled them all_

_For that, I have to give you a hand_

_Too bad you didn't count on this wall_

_It's my turn; I'm taking a firm stand_

_I'm going to be your ultimate downfall _Jude concentrated down on her guitar. She liked the way they sounded playing together. It just sounded well together. She looked up at Kwest and he just stared at her in awe. She had a feeling he liked the way the song was coming along.

_This time, I'm the one who's pissed _Loren sang out with anger in her voice. She closed her eyes tight and she sang out with all she had. Jude was a little surprised at how raw and pure her voice was. She was used to hearing Loren hold it all in.

_I'll smack you up and smack you down_

_Beat your face in with my furious fists _Loren screamed out the lyrics with paroxysmal passion. Jude had no doubt in her mind she was letting it all out. Her voice sounded beautifully with the guitars.

_And with a kick, off comes your crown_

Jude began singing as Loren finished and Kwest watched in amazement. This song was the best he had seen from both girls. Georgia was going to keel over and die. The song was pure brilliance. He had no idea they had that type of emotion locked up inside.

_Do you know how it feels to scrape your knee? _Jude sang out with anger and a bit of bitterness in her voice. She wanted Lucas to hear the message wherever he were. Thanks to him she and Loren couldn't be happy. He managed to screw them both up. She was just glad she stayed away from him after that day she visited him in the hospital.

_Or bite down so hard on your lip, you bleed_

_Well, take the pain and multiply it by three_

_Because you haven't heard the last of me _She held out the lyric as Loren jumped in with the chorus.

_I'm not asking for what you're giving_

_I'm free, don't need your permission _Jude joined her in singing out the chorus and they harmonized out perfectly. They looked at each other and sang out with perfect unison. Neither voice overpowered the other as they sang out with completely different voices.

_Won't give you control of how I'm living_

_And you can't force my submission_

_Into letting you do what you want to me_

_I'll do what I want of my own volition _Jude held out _volition_, as Loren jumped into the next two verses. Rather violent ones that came straight from her inner core. She knew both she and Jude could relate to it.

_You're going down, down to the ground_

_I'll grind your face deep in the suffocating dirt_

_I'll throw you to the side and knock you around_

_Make you hurt worse than you made me hurt _A look Jude had never seen before came over Loren's face. She rocked about and sang out the lyrics.

_And, oh, you'll scream murder out in pain _Her voice came out raw as she sort of screamed out the lyrics. Jude loved her undying energy and passion. She could literally picture Loren doing all of the things she sang out.

_Get down on your hands and knees again_

_I know you'll apologize, even kiss my feet_

_If you so much as try, you're going to bleed _Loren held out the word _bleed _as Jude

jumped right into her part. They sang so perfectly together. They were singing it for the first time together, but they just knew exactly what to do. It was as if the song was just made for both of them.

_You pretend that you're a decent man_

_Acting so well you've fooled them all_

_For that, I have to give you a hand_

_Too bad you didn't count on this wall _

_It's my turn; I'm taking a firm stand_

_I'm going to be your ultimate downfall _Jude held out the _fall _in _downfall_ and Loren jumped into the next two violent verses.

_I'll make you drink soup through a straw_

_You'll scream your throat out until it's raw _Loren pretty much was screaming out the song. Her own voice sounded extremely raw as she sang. The odd thing about was, it sounded like she was meant to sing this way all along. She was holding it back with her cheesy pop songs.

_If it's vengeance I want, it's revenge I'll get_

_Watch your step, 'cause I'm your biggest threat _Shesang this verse out quickly and jumped into the next one.

_It's finally your time to die, die, die _She stomped her foot on the ground and played her guitar even more furiously than before. Jude could imagine the video now. It would be pretty controversial.

_Come on, you knew it was coming_

_So don't you act so damn surprised_

_In Satan's fires forever you'll fry_

_Look who's slumming now-ow-ow _She sang out the last two lyrics quickly. Jude joined her in singing _ow-ow_ and then Loren jumped into the chorus.

_I'm not asking for what you're giving_

_I'm free, don't need your permission _Jude joined her in on singing it and it began sounding better than before. Loren's voice harmonized with Jude's a lot better now that she was using it to her full potential.

_Won't give you control of how I'm living_

_And you can't force my submission_

_Into letting you do what you want to me_

_I'll do what I want of my own volition _Loren held out _volition _passionately with ease. She was feeling all different types of emotions at once. Anger, sadness, and happiness. She didn't know exactly how to react until they were finished the song. Jude jumped right into the next part.

_I know that you hate opposition_

_But it looks like you found it in me_

_Boy, you're on the road to perdition _Jude sang out the three lyrics a little faster than her other parts and strummed down on her guitar. She continued to look the guitar and her hair cascaded down over her face. Loren jumped to the next part.

_You pretend that you're a decent man _Loren looked up at Jude as she finished singing.

_Acting so well you've fooled them all _Jude sang out her lyric and nodded her head at Loren to sing the next one.

_For that, I have to give you a hand _Loren stomped her foot on the ground as she said _hand_. She bobbed her head as Jude picked up with the next lyric.

_Too bad you didn't count on this wall _Jude finally looked up as the song was almost coming to an end and she couldn't help but smile. Singing this song was completely exhilarating.

_It's my turn; I'm taking a firm stand _Loren held out _stand _as Jude started with _I'm._

_I'm going to be your ultimate downfall _Loren quickly jumped in at _going_ and they each sang out the last lyric together. They both strummed out their guitars and ended it with one last twang.

Loren looked up at Kwest and smiled. He was in complete awe and he didn't know what to say. "I'm glad we left you speechless." He picked up his jaw and slowly nodded his head.

"Wait, I'm still trying to recover. That was amazing. I didn't even know you two had that in you. Um, wow." Loren and Jude looked at each other and started laughing. They were glad he was excited about it. Jude had to admit she was excited about it. But, she knew in the back of her mind, she probably wouldn't continue singing after this song. It was Loren's time to shine.

"Are you ready to be my producer again Kwest?" Loren smiled at him and Kwest returned the smile. He looked at both of them. "Yeah, ready to sing that song again in the recording booth?" Jude and Loren let out an exasperated tone, but were up for the **occasion. **

Jude put her back on the headboard and turned the page. She smiled at the pictures of Loren and Jude on the video set. It did turn out to be a pretty controversial video considering they were practically torturing a guy. But, women took their song as a powerful anthem. It was the message of a woman who won't get hurt again. She turned the page and looked at the picture of them at the Juno's winning awards for the song. It had been a joyous occasion and Jude was glad she could have done it with her best friend. Loren's career had sky-rocketed after the duet with Jude and her new look. Jude was more than happy for her. Although, she kept her promise. She didn't come out with another single after the one with Loren.

Jude yawned and hesitantly turned the page to the next set of pictures. She knew it wasn't the best time to look at those pictures now, but she couldn't avoid the truth. She turned the page and looked down at her miserable figure. She remembered that day easily. It was possibly the second worst day of her life. She looked completely miserable standing off to one side and she couldn't blame herself. Everyone else had a good time, but Jude couldn't have a good time.

"**Jude** just breathe! I know you didn't want this day to come, no one did. But, honey, it's here. I don't know what else to say. You'll survive it and pull through. Trust me, I of all people should know." Loren tried to calm the frazzled Jude. She was a wreck and Loren couldn't blame her. This had to be her possibly second worst day and there was nothing she could do about.

Jude shook her arms out and approached the sink again. She felt physically sick, and the worst part was she had to go out their again. She splashed a little bit of cold water on her face and took a deep breath. "Jude, I hate to rush you but, we do have to walk down the aisle. I mean, her stupid cousins back out and the bitch makes us bridesmaids! It's not enough she forces you to sing at the damn wedding. No, we have to be a part of it now!" Loren took Jude's arm and led her out of the bathroom. She knew Cayenne was probably wondering where they were. It was, after all, her wedding day.

Jude and Loren rushed to get in the line of bridesmaids by the glass doors. Cayenne decided she wanted to get married in the old country-like mansion her grandmother had left her. It was huge, but the real beauty was the outside gardens. That was where she decided to get married, by the pond in the garden. Loren and Jude grabbed their small bouquet of calla lilies and got in the line in front of Sadie. She was the maid of honor and with much pleasure. She had helped Cayenne through the whole wedding process and insisted on throwing Jude in to help. Jude didn't like Sadie so much anymore.

Jude turned around when she felt eyes burning holes through her. Sadie looked Jude up and down. "You know, you could at least try not to look so miserable. It's a wedding, it's a joyous occasion." She smiled at Jude and averted her gaze. She knew exactly why Jude looked miserable. She wasn't stupid; she just wished that Jude would get over it. Her best friend was marrying Tommy and Jude needed to get over him.

Loren turned around from in front of Jude, quickly. "Well, she wouldn't have to look miserable if you had been her sister. What kind of sister sets up the man that her sister loves with their best friend? Hmm, don't have an answer Sexy Sadie? Jude's miserable and she's going to stay miserable, thanks to you." Jude stepped in front of Loren and pushed her around again. It wasn't the best place for Loren and Sadie to get into a fight. Loren crossed her arms, messing up some of the calla lilies in her bouquet.

Jude turned around and looked at the red faced Sadie. "Jude, I really think you should pick better friends. What is she even talking about? You're not in love with Tommy. You like Chase. You've gotten over Tommy. You know I would never do that to you." Sadie looked as if she was trying to convince herself more than Jude. Jude didn't know what to say. She was in love with Tommy, right? She hoped not. He was about to confess his love to someone else.

Loren turned around again, with anger all over her face. "How could you know, when you did it! You don't know anything about Jude. I'm surprised you know anything. You stupid ditz! Anyone in their right mind could see Jude is in love with Tommy. How could her sister not even see it? Well, what can we do now? Hmm, he's marrying someone else. Someone you helped get him with. You know, what do you know? I bet I even know your own husband better than you!"

Jude grabbed Loren by the arms and held her back. "Loren, she's my sister! Don't insult her." Jude looked at Loren threateningly and she calmed down. Sadie was only getting redder in the face and was oddly silent. It seemed as though she knew everything Loren was saying was true. She stepped out of line and was eyeing Loren and Jude. She opened her mouth to say something, but Cayenne appeared behind them with her father.

"You all look so beautiful!" Loren and Jude flashed the fakest smiles they could come up with. Sadie still looked a little flushed. "You know Jude; you'll be walk with Chase! Isn't that great? He really likes you, you know?" Cayenne looked at her father and smiled. It was as if she couldn't stop smiling today. Jude couldn't blame her, though. She _was_ marrying Tommy. Jude would be smiling too.

Jude sighed quietly; she felt guilt wash over her. She shouldn't hate Cayenne but that was all she could feel when she looked at her. "You look beautiful Cayenne." Jude spoke quietly, but she knew it was the truth. She did look beautiful and Jude knew why Tommy was marrying her. Cayenne smiled widely at her, yet again.

"Thank you Jude. That means a lot, and thanks for agreeing to sing at the reception. I know you haven't sung in a while, but it really means a lot. By the way, I got you at a table with Chase. So, it all works out great. Oh, and Loren I have a cousin you might like. She's pretty cute!" Loren's face clouded over, she was basically saying she was a lesbian.

"I'm not a..." Loren bit her tongue and held the curse word in. "I'm not a lesbian!" She lowered her voice and tried not to look so angry. Peachy Cayenne would never notice anyway. Even if she did notice, she never acted like she did. Jude and Loren always found it strange. No one could ever be that happy all of the time. It just wasn't normal. Jude wondered once again why Tommy was marrying her.

Cayenne looked at the now smirking Sadie. "Well, Sadie said you used to have a crush on Jude." Sadie started laughing and Cayenne shifted around unlinking her arm from her dads. Loren looked she might blow any second. Jude stepped in front of her to stop her from doing anything crazy. Loren gripped the bouquet so hard her hand started to hurt. Jude pushed her when she noticed it was her turn to walk. Loren turned around in a daze and quickly linked her arm with some random member of Boyz Attack! and proceeded her walk down the aisle. Jude almost laughed at how natural she tried to look. It was obvious she was a bit dazed.

Jude moved up knowing that she would be walking next. This was one of the parts she was dreading most. The last thing she wanted to do was see Tommy. It would be heartbreaking to walk down the aisle looking at him, but not be the one marrying him. She nervously looked down at her bouquet and felt her hand squeeze around it. She could feel Chase next to her and she would have to put on an act. She looked over at him and he smiled. He put out his arm and Jude linked her arm with his. She could feel herself becoming sick again. It was like one bad nightmare. She really wanted to wake up.

Before she knew it, her feet were moving and her body was just following. Chase was walking at a pretty slow pace and Jude knew they would be walking for a while. She just wanted to run down the aisle so she wouldn't have to face what was actually happening. She tried to look anywhere but straight ahead with difficulty. She couldn't look down, or to the side. Jude felt her arm tighten around Chase's when she finally looked up. She almost felt herself stop and turn back around. She knew she was probably cutting off Chase's blood running through his arm. Jude met Tommy's eyes and he actually tried to smile. He stopped when he noticed the look of deep pain cross her face. She didn't care who could see her. She thought she saw a hint of sadness in his eyes, but it quickly passed when she made it down the aisle and went to stand near Loren.

Loren touched Jude's arm and looked at her sympathetically. She knew exactly how she felt, she had felt it once. Jude blinked back the tears and tried to focus on EJ walking down the aisle. EJ and Cayenne had met and become could friends, for obvious reasons. They were very similar and got along well. EJ helped plan the whole event and almost didn't make it down the aisle finishing up last touches. Jude tried not to look over at Tommy, but it was extremely hard. She could feel him look at her whenever no one was really looking. Jude kept her face straight ahead and tried to smile at Sadie and Kwest.

"You could have had me. Too bad, Quincy." Sadie joked to Tommy and smirked when Kwest gave her a look. Tommy smiled genuinely for the first time. Cayenne's five year old niece made her way down the aisle scattering red rose petals all over the freshly green grass. Jude felt her stomach churn when the wedding march started and everyone stood. The glass doors opened and Cayenne started her march down the aisle with her father. Jude could hear intakes of breath from the guess, because of how beautiful she looked. She heard a quiet snort of disgust come from Loren, she smiled.

She stopped smiling when she noticed Cayenne was crying tears of joy. She actually felt disgusted then. She didn't have the right to cry tears of joy, Jude thought. She only knew Tommy for about a year. Jude had known him for six years and she only knew him for one lousy year. Jude looked over at Tommy and noticed that he had glanced quickly at her as well. She wondered why he kept look at her. He was marrying Cayenne. It sucked, but she was trying to force herself to accept it. She hoped Tommy wouldn't glance over at her again. She just wanted to go sink into a hole and stay there. But, she couldn't, she was forced to sing at the reception. At Cayenne's lovely request...

Jude held onto Loren's arm as they walked to the reception. It was official. Tommy was married, he was actually married. Jude had no way of getting around it. They had no future he was married and she couldn't really hate Cayenne. She never really did anything to her, except stick her with Chase. Who was trailing behind Jude and Loren now. They couldn't even talk about the wedding, he was everywhere they went. He wasn't a bad person and Jude liked him a little, but he was becoming a irk. She knew Loren was going to snap on him eventually.

The reception was held inside the luxurious ballroom of the house. It was breathtaking and perfectly set up by EJ's doing. Jude separated from Loren to go get ready for her song. Loren found her table and was forced to sit next to Chase. She hoped he proved her wrong, but he didn't. Sadie looked overly exultant for Cayenne as she dragged along Kwest quickly to their table. Sadie ecstatically clapped, while Loren didn't clap, for Mr. and Mrs. Quincy when they made their entrance.

Jude slowly made her way out on the small stage. She approached the mike and tried not to look at the audience. "This is a song Cayenne and I wrote for this special day." The lights dimmed and she took a seat at her stool. She was the only one playing and had more of the pressure. She began strumming her guitar and thought about how Cayenne had come to her for help with the song. As she began singing, she thought about how she should have just declined.

Jude felt anger boil up inside her and it made her voice come out stronger. She didn't have to worry about her voice cracking with the tears she had lingering in her eyes. As she watched Cayenne and Tommy swaying to the music she knew it couldn't get any worse. She just wanted to walk off the stage.

_Fallen head over heels_

_Thought I knew how it feels_

_But with you it's like the first day of my life_

_Cuz you leave me speechless_

_When you talk to me_

_You leave me breathless_

_The way you look at me_

_You've managed to disarm me_

_My soul is shining through_

_Can't help but surrender_

_My everything to you_

It hurt to know Cayenne wrote these lyrics about Tommy. It hurt to know he married another woman. But, what hurt the most was to know he had moved on. Jude knew she had no one to blame but herself. She had let him move on; she did nothing to move their relationship along. He actually confessed his love and she did nothing.

She strummed down on her guitar playing a little faster than she probably should have. She just wanted to get the nightmare over with. It was making her sick just watching the way Cayenne looked at Tommy. It made her sick the way he looked back. She was surprised she could take much more.

She looked down at her guitar and blinked her eyes shut tight. She was blinking away the tears best she could. She hoped no one noticed. Her voice didn't waver as she looked out at Cayenne. The anger she felt was really helping her out to finish the song. She hoped Cayenne was happy. She forced her to come sing the song. She forced her to write the stupid song with her. She just wanted to rip up the lyrics now. She hoped Sadie was happy, but she hoped Tommy was happy most of all. She hadn't spoken to him. He didn't even bother to come tell her he was getting married. She would have liked to talk to him before Cayenne forced her to write a song with her. About she and Tommy's relationship. Singing it was emotionally and physically hurting. She had stopped playing with a pick, but she failed to notice the pain.

_You leave me speechless_

_the way you smile, the way you touch my face_

_You leave me breathless_

_it's something that you do I can't explain_

_I run a million miles just to hear you say my name_

Jude hadn't sung since her duet with Loren. Her voice hadn't changed. The only difference was she had more pain behind it. Lots of pain. "Hey, Loren, does Jude sound different to you? She sounds a little different to me. You know, different from her records. She still sounds good thought. She's so pretty. Do you think she likes me? I really like her. Does she ever talk to you about me? She always seems preoccupied when I try to talk to her. Is she seeing someone else?" Chase didn't even stop to breathe. He managed to ramble that all out quickly.

Loren felt like she might die. He hadn't stopped talking since Jude took the stage. She just wanted some peace and quiet, but Chase wasn't letting it be possible. She sighed and rolled her eyes. That was the last straw. He needed a reality check. Loren turned in her seat and looked over at him. "Jude doesn't like you! She would never go for a guy like you! She's in love with Tommy! Get over it!" Loren took a swig of her champagne, failing to realize she just let Cayenne's brother know Jude was in love with Tommy.

_You leave me speechless_

_You leave me breathless_

_The way you look at me_

_You've managed to disarm me_

_My soul is shining through_

_I can't help but surrender_

_My everything to you_

Jude finished out the song with a relief. She looked out just in time to see Cayenne kissing Tommy. She didn't bother to say anything. She just quickly made it off the stage. She was greeted with praise by EJ and Georgia, but she just pushed her guitar into EJ's hands. She knew she was close to a break down and she just wanted to get away. She made it outside to the garden. She walked over to the pond and looked down at the water lilies. She was having a miserable day. No, she was having a miserable year. Worst part was she didn't see it getting any better.

She took a seat by one of the benches in front of the pond. She sat back and closed her eyes. It was quiet besides the birds. It was peaceful and she needed that. "You're in love with Tommy?" Jude jumped when she heard Chase's voice. It wasn't more his voice that made her jump, it was more what he had said. How did he know she was in love with Tommy? She turned around to look at him with hurt in her eyes.

Chase silently went to go sit next to her. "It's alright; you don't have to say anything. It all makes sense now. I thought their was someone else on your mind. But, it's okay. You never led me on. I was leading myself on. I get it now." Jude looked over at him with a mixture of guilt, hurt, and shock. She never meant to hurt Chase. He was a nice guy. He was okay most of the time. He just had trouble talking to girls.

"Jude, Tommy's married now. He's married to my sister. I don't mean to hurt you...but, he's moved on. He's moved on as much as he possibly could. I know you're hurting...but..." He paused and put his hand over Jude's. She was too taken aback to do anything. The day's events were overwhelming. She was exhausted. "Jude, you need to move on. I want to help you move on. Let me be that guy for you. I would never hurt you. I would never hurt you like Tommy obviously has. Let me have your heart." He squeezed Jude's hand and spoke urgently.

Jude was in complete shock mode. She didn't know what to do. Everything was becoming overbearing and the tears finally came flooding out. They didn't affect Chase much, he kept going on. "Jude please, just let me offer you all that I have to give. I promise to love you more than Tommy ever would. It's not a marriage proposal. I just want you to open yourself up to me. I want to be that guy. I want to be your guy." Chase seemed to think Jude was crying because she realized everything he was saying. She was really crying because realization of the day was hitting her. Tommy was really married. He obviously didn't love her.

When Chase leaned in to kiss Jude she didn't pull away. She didn't scream or hit him. She simply just let him kiss her. It was all the clue he needed. It was Jude's way of settling for something less. Tommy watched Chase kiss Jude from the glass door of the house and he knew she was settling. He thought about how he settled when he heard Cayenne call his name. He shrugged it off and told himself he married for **love.**

Jude closed the scrapbook and looked around the room. She sat back and tried to remember last night. It was only coming to her as bits and pieces. She wished she could remember it all but she couldn't. She laid back, resting on the headboard and closed her eyes. She saw some flashes of the bar. She had wanted to spend her twenty-first birthday alone. It was nearly impossible, she knew if she wanted to get away she had to go somewhere Chase and Cayenne would never find her. Cayenne tried to throw her a party. But, Jude couldn't spend her birthday exchanging glances with Tommy.

She, however, remember running into him at the bar. She knew that only meant one thing, he was having problems in his marriage. There was no other reason for him to go out drinking. She didn't remember much after their brief conversation. They both seemed to simultaneously keep drinking. Neither cared if they got drunk, which they did. She remembered quickly leaving the bar with him and heading towards her apartment. She was surprised she could find it. She only remembered flashes and she couldn't remember how she did manage to find it.

She remembered the touch of Tommy's hands as they made it inside the apartment. The feeling of his lips on her own as they rushed to her bedroom. Her living room was probably a mess since they managed to knock things over. She couldn't help but remember the heat that ignited them and the passion that kept them going. She remembered when he finally slowed down lowering her on the bed. He took her shirt off with a fever they had both been feeling. She remembered equally taking of his shirt with the same vigor he had shown. She could still feel the light kisses he left along her neck. She could never forget the way he said he loved her, although it was sloppily said between kisses, it was engraved in her memory. She couldn't remember much but she vowed to remember what she could. It was perfect, she knew.

She sat up and opened her eyes as she heard the shower go off. They were both awake now and sober. Her headache was killing her, but it wasn't what she thought about. She thought about Chase and Cayenne. She feared how Tommy would act. He couldn't ask her to forget it. She wouldn't forget it. She wasn't going to let him hurt her. She knew they weren't over and she knew he knew it the day he got married.

Tommy walked into the room with his jeans on. She wanted nothing more than to pull him onto the bed and repeat last night. She wanted something to really remember. But, he didn't look up for the occasion. He briefly looked at her and searched around the floor for his shirt. He touched his head and she knew it was hurting from the hang-over. She wondered how long it would take him until he figured out she had his shirt. He looked up at her and noticed his shirt on her. He looked at her awkwardly and held out his hand without saying anything.

Jude slowly took it off and held it out to him. He stared at her barely clothed body for a moment but quickly snapped out of it, reaching for his shirt. Jude held onto it tightly as he tried to grab it. She yanked it towards herself causing Tommy to stumble towards the bed a bit. "Tommy, I love you. I'm not going to deny it to myself." She looked him in the eye and didn't let go of the shirt.

Tommy instead let go of the shirt and looked away. He didn't know what to say. He was married and he loved Cayenne. He had to love Cayenne. He brushed away any harbored feelings he felt for Jude. "Jude, I'm married. Nothing can change that. This came too late. We came too late." Jude put the shirt down and looked away. She told herself he wouldn't hurt her, but he was hurting her again.

"Tommy, I know you're married. But, do you honestly love her? Do you love her more than you loved me? Honestly look at me and tell me that you do. I can't let it go until you do." Jude looked at him desperately and tried not to let the tears fall. She had to hold them in until he was gone. She wouldn't let them out other wise. He didn't look at her and she wondered if he could actually say it. It would kill her if he could.

"Jude, I can't say it. You know I can't say it. But, that's not the..." He looked over at her to finish his statement but was cut off by her lips. She kneeled over on the bed and leaned into the kiss. She didn't know if it was hanging out with Loren a lot or it was everything she had been through. But, she was changed; the old Jude probably would have felt more guilt. The old Jude probably wouldn't have continued to kiss Tommy and let it escalate again. The old Jude would have agreed with Tommy. But, this Jude...She let last nights events repeat slowly. She mentally recorded everything; she wasn't going to forget this time.

**

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****YES! I'm done! It's 2:38 in the morning, but who cares! I did it! I did it! I actually finished! This was for you Cayenne! You helped me do this! YAY! Hey, this chapter really was long. Crap! I should be in bed.**

**Anyway, on a more serious note, I'm SO sorry! I took like three weeks to get this out! You probably want to kill me! I completely understand! But, I didn't lie when I said this was my longest chapter. I hope it made up for how long I took. Next chapter shouldn't be this long. I'm so sorry again! **

**By the way, the song "One Woman's Will," is by Cayenne! Her own original piece. That's the name of the first song. She was inspired by how crappy Lucas was. It was amazing so I had to use it!**

**Second song is "Speechless" by The Veronicas. I skipped some of the lyrics in it. I would have used "I Could Get Used to This," Cayenne, but it was too fast. Oh, and Sadie's wedding look was basically Sophia Bush's when she married Chad Michael Murray. Funny thing is they got divorced like three months or something later.**

**Anyways, that's my chapter! I hope you enjoyed! Now, go REVIEW, REVIEW, and REVIEW! Hey, I busted myself for this chapter. Now, REVIEW please! **

**Cayenne, Kerilyn, and Annika! I'm so sorry for how long I ignored you guys! But, you know I love ya!**

**-Ruby**


	20. Switchblades and Infidelity

**I love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, you guys! You're all simply the best! I'm glad you all enjoyed the chapter! I worked hard! So, now it's time to promote stories better than mine.**

**NATURAL DISASTER! By, SIXTE3N CANDL3S! This story is very original and just plain hot. I know, I know! I'm bad; I still haven't even reviewed the last chapter. I'm the worse. But, you guys can make up for me. Go read and review! This story rocks, it really does. Her new username rocks, too. It makes me think of...**

**CONSEQUENCES! By, NOTACONTRIVANCE! In case you didn't already know. But, you should. Shame on you if you didn't know her username. I mean, come on, people! It's Cayenne! She's bloody brilliant and she deserves good and long reviews. But, I just feel so empty. She's gone, until Saturday. Oh, I can't even think about it! It makes me want to cry. You just don't understand! But, you do! It's like having to wait for a new chapter of "Consequences," yet worse! I have to wait to hear from her, period! Oh, cure my emptiness by reading this brilliant story! I love you, Cayenne! This story and girl are amazing! She's one of the best people I know! She keeps me sane. I love this girl to death, you will too. Her new chapter was just simply splendid; this girl put her heart and soul into her writing. It always comes out great!**

**WHAT IS, WHAT WAS, WHAT CAN BE! By, JACKJACKIO! Read this and review! Kerilyn, I could kill you! The fact that you might not finish this makes me want to bite your arm off. You better watch out! I'll do it! But, it's up to us guys. We got to read this story and keep reviewing. Then, she'll have to finish! Ha, I have my plans Kerilyn. You must finish! I'll cry, no lie. Ask Cayenne, I'll cry if you don't finish! Love ya!**

**INSPIRATION OF THE PAST, by MAZKALNS! Where are you! Hurry! I want me an update! Your story is scorching and easily addicting. You'll love every bit of this story people. I'm not lying, I don't lie. This story is hot, the author is hot, and the idea is hot. Everything about this story is HOT! Ah, I just love it. You know you wanna read it. If you don't...your lost! She just updated and I know you guys are going to love it! Go read it!**

**TIT FOR TAT! By, GILIWASCOOL! The sequel to "Bang Theory," I LOVE IT! I may not always review, but this story is brilliant! You'll adore it. I'm serious. This story never ceases to surprise. Great author and brilliantly written. It makes me laugh and laugh for hours. It's just great. Warning: May Cause You to Blow Up From Laughing!**

**HATERS OR LOVERS? By, ALEXZGIRL1! Sadie's daughter is lucky. I love your name. Nothing is wrong with it. Don't you guys agree? Annika and her story are both great! Go read it and review! You won't be disappointed. This girl is a great person and you instantly love her! She's one of my good friends. She could be one of yours too!**

**JUDE AND TOMMY INSTANT LOVE FOREVER? By, TOMMYSGURL101. Naturally nice girl. She hasn't updated, so I'm not sure about her story. But, she always manages to review. She's just a nice and genuine person. I love her. You're a great person, girl. Keep writing!**

**Okay, so you'll probably kill me if I don't start writing! But, I don't know if I can without Cayenne! Oh, how I miss her already. This chapter is probably going to be crap! I need her! Sigh...**

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Chapter Twenty: **_Switchblades and Infidelity_**

"No, Kat, I don't even know how we ended up at my apartment. I seriously can't remember. You think after getting drunk so much I'd be better at it. Well, at least my hangovers aren't as bad. But, I haven't gotten to that part yet." Jude stretched out her legs in front of her and pushed up to sit on the armrest. Kat had become a very successful fashion designer in the states and Jamie had gone to join her in New York some while ago. He was offered a position at the G-Major offices over there.

G-Major and its artist were doing exceptionally well. In the states and Canada. SME and Loren being their best. Even without Jude they were doing well. It was part of the reason she didn't want to go back. The boys and Jude had forgiven Speed and SME went solo. Eden's record label bombed and so did Shay's career. All of Jude's friends were becoming successful and Jude was happy for them. She looked around her empty apartment and noticed the only thing she had to be happy about was the fact she cheated on her loving boyfriend with his sister's husband.

Kat grilled Jude on the other end of the line. She had an idea at what Jude was going to say happened, but she couldn't even grasp it. She wanted to know for sure before she said or thought anything. "Okay, so what happened once you got to your apartment?" Her voice was low and she almost didn't want to know the answer. If it was what she thought, it could only equal disastrous results. She bit her lip and waited intensely for Jude to spill what she could remember.

"Well, I only remember bits and pieces. But, I swear to you Kat we had no idea what we were doing, I know that much. It was like once our lips touched and the intoxication was at its peak we just couldn't stop. I remember the way he touched me and held me all the way to the bed. But, it gets foggy after that." Jude was greeted by screeches and gasping noises on the other end. She couldn't help but laugh, she knew Kat would react that way.

"Jude! Oh my gosh, I don't even know what to say. This is big. This is huge. But, Jude...he's married, you know that. I know that, he knows that, the whole world knows that. This is bad; this can only end in disaster." Jude sighed and threw her head back in frustration. She knew that now, this morning she didn't think about it, but hearing Kat say it let it sink in. She looked at the ceiling as Kat quickly began speaking again. "Anyway, don't think about that just yet. What happened this morning? Was it bad and awkward? Oh, that must have been the worst. Especially when you both realized the mistake you both made." Jude sighed again, she felt so stupid. She didn't realize anything, everything Tommy had said and Kat was saying made sense. But, she apparently had no sense. She was becoming guiltier by the minute.

Jude coughed awkwardly wondering how she was going to tell Kat the truth. The more she thought about it, the dirtier and more ashamed she felt. How could she cheat on another boyfriend with Tommy, who was no married? She was no better than her father. She composed herself and finally had the courage to tell Kat. "Well, that's not exactly what happened. He, um, when I woke up he was in the shower." She coughed again knowing she was just trying to stall as best she could. But, she could feel Kat's eagerness to know everything.

"Well, then what happened when he got out, silly. Come on, you need to tell me everything. This is huge and I'm sure you want to figure out how to fix this. I can't believe that actually happened. You must have been so upset when you realized what was going on." Kat kept saying it and Jude could only think about how she wasn't upset. She wasn't upset that whole morning. It was now near the afternoon and she was pretty sure she wouldn't be upset if Kat didn't make her see the light.

"Well, I wasn't. I was completely the opposite and completely stupid Kat. I don't even know what I was thinking? How could I have been so stupid? I'm so mad at myself Kat. I really need to stop drinking." Jude held back the tears and blocked out Kat's questions. She bit her lip and brushed her hair out of her face with her left hand. She finally tuned in to Kat's questions and sighed preparing to tell her what happened, best she could.

"Kat, I told him I loved him. I told him I loved him and wouldn't let him talk. He tried to remind me of everything, but I don't know what was wrong with me. I just silenced him with my lips and then we sort of... Well, repeated what we did the night before. But, the worst part is I didn't regret it, I didn't regret it one bit. I'm not even sure if I really regret it now." She was greeted with silence which she expected. She knew Kat was probably surprised and trying to figure out what she should say next. But, Jude didn't blame her. How could she not be surprised?

"Jude, this is huge. I can't believe it. Jude, he's married. I don't want to make you feel any worst, but he's married. It's just...Chase is such a great boyfriend from what you tell me and I just..." She could tell Kat was hesitant to speak her mind, but Jude knew everything she was saying was true. Chase was a caring boyfriend, she just didn't have that connection there that she had with Tommy. She still knew it was no excuse, she should have cheated, she felt horrible.

"No, it's okay Kat. Speak your mind, I'm a horrible person. I shouldn't have even approached him at that bar when I saw him. I don't know what I was thinking. Chase loves me, that's more than I can say for Tommy. I just have to figure out a way to fix this. How do you fix this?" She felt like she could see Kat thinking it out. She wished she was here. She loved Loren an all, but the girl was wild. Kat was her more sensible friend that she could call for reasonable advice, plus she would put Jamie on the phone sometimes too, which was a bonus.

"I think you need to figure out how this started in the first place. You told me a couple of days ago you were over Tommy, so what the heck happened. You change you mind that fast? I think once you find out what really are your feelings you can get over Tommy." Jude took in what she was saying, it all made sense. Jude wasn't sure what she felt for Tommy. When she talked to Kat she felt like she was way over him. But, when she talked to Loren she felt like she should go after him.

"Well, when I talked to Loren she told me that love is an everlasting hold and you can't just let it go at the drop of a hat. She just made me feel like loving him and going after him isn't wrong. She said, just because he's married doesn't mean his heart doesn't belong to me." She heard Kat snort in disgust at the mention of Loren's words. Kat wasn't exactly a big fan of Loren. Jude knew she was a little jealous at how close she and Jude had become. But, she also didn't like the advice she always fed her. Kat, like Sadie, still looked at Loren as a common whore, which the tabloids portrayed well.

"I can't believe you listen to anything she has to say. She's a whore Jude, so she wants you to be a whore like her. Tommy's married and you don't need him anyway. If he really wanted you he wouldn't have married Cayenne in the first place." Kat took a deep breath finishing her rant and eating some more ice cream. She wished she could be with Jude so she wouldn't fall into Loren's raft. Kat didn't like her from the first time she saw her and she couldn't understand how Jude could forgive her. Spiederman she understood, but Loren didn't deserve her forgiveness.

"Kat, Loren is a good person. She just had a lot of issues she hadn't worked out. She never was a horrible person. Could you just not hate her for one second?" Just as Jude finished her sentence she heard and felt Loren's presence. She looked up and saw her beaming at her. Jude wondered what she was so happy about. Loren threw her bag and coat on the ground like she owned the place, and made her way over to Jude.

"Oh great, that's her isn't it Jude. You should put her on the phone so I can give her a piece of my mind. I really don't like that girl." Loren ran towards Jude with a big smile on her face and grabbed the phone hanging it up. Jude looked at her dumbfounded trying to figure out what she was so excited about. She was practically jumping up and down. Not to mention, she completely hung up Jude's conversation with Kat.

"So, tell me, tell me! Come on Jude, what happened with you and Tommy? You were gone for the whole day, was it good? What happened?" Loren beamed down at Jude, as Jude looked up at her even more confused than before. She wondered how Loren knew about Tommy in the first place. She deliberately stayed away from everyone after Tommy left her apartment. She refused to answer phone calls or answer the door. She had forgotten Loren had a key.

Jude composed herself and slid down to sit on the couch, as Loren took a seat on the couch directly across from Jude's. "How the heck do you even know I was with Tommy?" Loren's smiled turned into a questioning glare. She looked at her as though she should know. "Loren, spill it. What did you do?" Loren smiled proudly. Jude could tell already it wasn't something good.

"Well, you must not remember calling me from the bar. I'm the one that gave you and Tommy a ride to your apartment. You guys were like two wild animals! I felt like I was going to have to call the Discovery Channel." She flipped her black hair over her shoulder and laughed briefly to herself. "I had to be quick too, you guys were about to start humping in my back seat, we couldn't have that, now could we?" She laughed again, but Jude could only stare in disbelief. How could Loren be there and not stop them?

"You mean to tell me you could have stopped what happened between me and Tommy? How could you Loren? How could you stand by and do nothing? I cheated on Chase, and he cheated on his wife. Not to mention, what I did this morning! I'm a horrible person!" She ran her fingers through her hair and held back her tears. Loren watched her quietly. Jude looked up suddenly as if she had the answer to everything. "You're in love with Chase aren't you? I mean, that'll explain why you want me with Tommy so much. Also, you've been acting all weird talking about love, so that's the reason, huh?" Loren looked over at her in shock.

"Are you kidding me? I hate Chase; I was just trying to be a good friend! A blind bat could see you are in love with Tommy, but I guess you don't see me as a friend. Stupid me for thinking you actually trusted me." Loren got up and started to head towards the door. Jude got up and followed her, Loren turned around. "I'm not in love either!"

Jude clamed down and started to think rationally. "Alright, you're not in love with Chase. But, it's just strange, you're strange." Jude examined her friend and noticed she was completely glowing, something wasn't right. Jude forgot about her problems for a second and focused on Loren. "Wait, who are you in love with? You're completely glowing Loren." Loren looked over at Jude in frustration. She didn't understand Jude's fascination with thinking she was in love.

"I AM NOT IN LOVE! Will you just get over that, please! Besides, I came here to find out how Tommy's birthday present to you was." Loren's frown quickly turned into a devilish smile. Loren hated Cayenne and she hated the fact that she married Tommy even more. "How many times did you guys do the deed? I mean, if he's been with every girl except me I want details!" She smirked as Jude felt her insides churn. She wanted to forget all about it, but it was surfacing to the top again.

"Please don't remind me!" Jude walked over to the couch and took a seat putting her face in her hands; she let out a loud sigh. She looked up and looked over at the relaxed Loren. "Every thing is so screwed up. How am I supposed to face Cayenne? How am I supposed to face Sadie? How am I supposed to face Chase?" She looked down at the floor and her voice dropped to a whisper. "How am I supposed to face Tommy?" She looked up at Loren with lost eyes no longer finding words to express her regret.

"Jude you need to just relax. Don't look at it as infidelity. Look it as an expression of love. Everyone knows you and Tommy belong together. What is marriage anyway? Just because a man is married doesn't mean he loves his wife. He could always feel obligation to her, not love. Think about what you feel when you're with him. Think about how you feel when he says your name or touches you. Jude, whether you like it or not you're in love, and I really think he loves you too. Marriage doesn't have to be forever!" Jude took in what Loren said. She knew she loved Tommy, but it didn't change anything. She had a boyfriend and Tommy was married. She couldn't, wouldn't be like her father. But, she already was.

"Loren, don't you get it? What world are you living in? I'm just like my father, I'm worst. You can't just sneak around with a married man it isn't right! I'm not right and I'm not going to do it anymore. I'll just; I'll just have to stay away from Tommy. You, you need to stay away from booze!" Jude crossed her arms and sunk bag in the couch. Her hair fell into her face and she blew a few strands away.

"Fine, suit yourself. But, I guarantee you Chase won't ever be a better lay than Tommy." Jude brushed her hair out of her face and looked over at her. "No, don't worry, I haven't had Tommy. Damn shame though, anyway, I'm going to go get myself something to drink." Loren left the living room and made her way over to the kitchen. Jude got up and started to pace around the living room. She stumbled over Loren's coat a little. She picked it up and placed it on the couch. As she did so, an envelope flew out.

Jude quickly picked it up and glanced at it. She was about to put it down until she realized it was a letter for her. She wondered why Loren would hide it from her. Jude looked at it and froze; it was a letter from Lucas. She slowly began to open it when she heard Loren coming. Without thinking she quickly put it back in Loren's coat pocket. She knew she should confront her about it, but she just couldn't. Lucas was the last person she ever wanted to think about.

Loren came in cheery as ever sipping on her tea. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. That witch Cayenne decided to throw you a birthday party tonight. But, like late tonight. You could always just skip it and not go." Jude looked at her in shock. She couldn't believe Loren was just telling her now. She didn't want a birthday party. She knew everyone was going to be there, she didn't know what she was going to do. Jude was still a little shaken up about the letter that she couldn't even worry about the party as much. Loren put down the tea and took her coat off the couch. "Well, I got to get back to the studio. Kwest and I are still recording my new album, it's almost finished though." She put her coat on and gave Jude a quick hug. She failed to realize how pale Jude looked.

Jude began to pace her apartment and think about the envelope she saw. She wondered why Lucas was contacting her now, more importantly she wondered what it said. Why did Loren feel the need to hide it from her? Was it really that bad? She really thought she would never have to hear from Lucas again. Why did he choose her 21st birthday to contact her? She already had so many things on her plate with the Tommy problems, but now she had Lucas' mysterious reappearance to worry about. She also had to worry about the party Cayenne decided to throw her tonight. How was she going to face everybody?

She paused and placed her hands on the top of her couch. She needed to rest against something to regain herself. Her head was spinning and she knew it was only going to get worse from here. She didn't understand how Loren could be so careless. She completely let Tommy and her go off like drunken animals. More importantly she worried about who may have seen them. After Loren became so famous she constantly had paparazzi following her. Jude readjusted herself and her mind instantly went back to the letter. She realized she really should have just confronted her about it. It was her letter and regardless of what it said Loren had no right to hide it from her.

Jude quickly went to her bedroom and decided to get ready. She was going to that studio if it was the last thing she did. She didn't care if she might run into Tommy. She really didn't care if Loren was recording. Jude stepped into the shower. When she thought about Loren it always made her think of when she used to record with Tommy. As demanding as he was it was always fun for her. She didn't understand why she couldn't, wouldn't sing again. She refused to think that what Lucas did to her had affected her in any way, but it did. He affected her in the biggest way possible, she felt as though she couldn't express herself through music anymore. When she tried to write she would come with nothing. It was as if she was still with him. She practically did no recording when she was anyway. It was no different now and it bothered her. It bothered her that after three years he still had all of the control.

Jude stepped out of the shower. Her mind drifted back and forth between Tommy and Lucas. They both were bad for her. She couldn't believe she didn't realize it before. Tommy managed to ruin every relationship she's had. She didn't know why she kept going back to him. He loved Cayenne, he had said it himself. She should have never pressed it and let it turn out the way it did. Jude finished getting dressed and stepped to the mirror to do her hair. It wasn't much to do; she just had to brush it a bit. Brushing her hair made her think of the party and she cringed. The last thing she wanted to do was face all of those people.

Jude walked out of the bedroom and grabbed her coat. She couldn't believe that her supposed best friend would keep her letter from her. She had to know why Loren felt she had to do that. Not to mention, why was Loren even touching her things? She grabbed the keys to her Mustang and made her way out to the hallway. Her apartment wasn't the best thing and she would have liked to live in a house. But, she didn't have that much money; she used what she could from the money she got from singing. Her mother wasn't the best help; she had left to Paris with one of her boyfriends a year ago. Sadie and Jude had been devastated, but they just learned to expect it. Stuart maintained his job and ended up getting many promotions. He was so occupied with work he didn't make much time for his daughters. But, he was still there if they needed him.

Jude was locking her door when she heard somebody behind her. She jumped, dropping her keys when she heard the person mutter her name. Jude turned around and started into the dark blue eyes that haunted her. "Lucas?" Her voice barely rose above a whisper as she looked up at him with astonishment and fear. Is that what the letter had said? How could Loren not warn her that Lucas was coming back? Jude's heart practically jumped out of her chest once she realized it really wasn't a nightmare. Lucas looked at her with worn, saddened eyes as he stepped closer.

"Don't be scared. I'm not here to hurt you." He looked at her with sincere eyes, but Jude wasn't budging. Her hand slowly slid down to the door knob and she was glad she didn't lock the door. She jumped when Lucas bent down near her to pick up her keys. He held them out to her and she reluctantly took them back, cautiously. "I just want to talk Jude. Why do you look so surprised, didn't you get my letters?" Jude couldn't even think right; she just really wanted to kill Loren.

Jude swallowed and shook her head. Her throat suddenly felt dry and scratchy and she didn't know why. Lucas was looking at her compassionately and it was almost like deja vu. She couldn't even believe he had the nerve to come back all this time. The nerve to obviously come back and ruin her twenty-first birthday. "Why the hell are you here?" Jude's voice came out sounding abrupt and harsh. She didn't intend for it to come out that way, but it did.

Lucas rubbed his hand on his jeans nervously and looked down. After thinking for a bit he looked back up again and Jude was glad he didn't start crying like all of the other times. "Jude, I've been in therapy for three years and my father died last year. I've, I've really been trying here and I'm changed. I'm not going to say I'm perfect, but I'm not the same Lucas that hurt you. I wrote you an apology in those letters. I explained everything to you and why I did those things. But, I guess you didn't open them and I don't blame you. You have every right to hate me. I just wanted to come tell you how sorry I was in person. I tried to apologize to Loren but she spit in my face." He abruptly stopped speaking and started to dig through his coat pocket. Jude's hands slipped to her sides and she felt lightheaded.

Lucas looked up when he pulled out a folded piece of paper. He unfolded it and handed it out to her, Jude looked down at it. "It's your song that you wrote three years ago, when we were still together. I found it under my couch two years ago and I knew I had to give it back to you. I don't know why you gave up singing, but I'm sure it has something to do with me. I'm sorry; from the bottom of my heart I'm truly sorry for everything." Jude grabbed the piece of paper and looked down at the lyrics she had scribbled down after the horrible fight she had with Lucas. There was an old tear stain on the paper that was being joined by a new one as she saw a tear splash down from her now tear streaked face.

Jude looked up at him and he looked so sad, worn and sad and she believed everything he said. She honestly knew then that he had gotten help. It broke her heart everything that he had said. "Lucas, why, why now? Why are you doing this to me again? I don't need this now. It's sweet it really is, but I can't look at you. It's too painful." Jude turned around and faced the door. She wiped away a tear with her free hand. She put her hand on the doorknob, when she felt Lucas' hand on her shoulder. She let out a deep sigh and pressed her head against the door. She was cracking and it was the last thing she needed. She thought she was over him, she thought she hated him; she realized some where along the line she was wrong.

"Jude, I'm not here to get back with you. I just wanted to apologize for everything I did. I just wanted to let you know that. I'm leaving town tonight." Lucas slid his hand off Jude's shoulder and started to slowly make his way down the hallway. Jude turned around and watched him walking away with his head down. He suddenly stopped midway and turned back around to face her. "Happy belated birthday." He smiled weakly at her and put his hands back in his pockets. Jude crossed her arms and watched him turn around again.

"Lucas, don't go." Jude called out weakly. Lucas stopped walking and turned around. He looked at her with a confused expression. Jude looked at the ground and lifted her back off the door. "Don't go, don't leave town I mean." She kept her gaze on him as he quickly walked back. She wasn't scared this time and she didn't flinch when he touched her. Lucas gently wrapped his arms around her and at first Jude did nothing. Lucas pulled back and gently stroked away her tears with his thumbs. Jude slowly wrapped her arms around his back and he returned the hug. She cried into his shoulder and he gently stroked her hair. After what seemed like an eternity Jude broke the hug. She stood on the tip of her toes and gently kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you." He smiled knowingly at her and made his way to the elevator. Jude watched it close and made it back into her apartment.

She made her way back to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. She looked at herself in the mirror and back down at her hand. She realized she was still holding her song he had given her. She read over the lyrics and looked back at herself in the mirror. She slowly made her way out of the bathroom all the while in deep thought. She looked down at the lyrics again and made her decision. She was going to begin singing again. She didn't know what clicked, but after reconciling with Lucas and reading her sad lyrics she knew she wanted to sing again. She had wasted so much time and energy hating Lucas that she couldn't sing. But, she felt she was ready for it again. She just wasn't sure if she was ready to face Tommy again. She could always just get Kwest as a producer.

As Jude thought about Kwest and the label, she remembered Loren. She still wanted to see her and talk about the letter. It enraged her that Loren had kept her own letter from her. Not to mention, she wondered what other letters Lucas was talking about. She couldn't believe that her own best friend was a letter thief. She figured she was just trying to protect her, but she didn't need protection. She could take care of herself and she was actually glad she saw Lucas. In her book it only made things better, not worse. She was glad Lucas didn't press a relationship on her; she wasn't sure what she would have said if he did. Her cell phone began ringing and she quickly went over to see who it was. She looked down at it and reluctantly realized it was Chase calling. She hadn't spoken to him on her birthday so she knew she better pick up.

"Hello." Jude heard a huge sigh of relief on the other end and it just further annoyed her. Chase was a really sweet boyfriend and Jude cared for him, but she felt no connection. When she looked in his eyes she felt like she was looking in the eyes of a brother. Over the past year their relationship was getting gradually worse. She knew he would never realize it and she felt too guilty to break it off. But, she knew the time would come when she would have to.

"Gosh Jude, what a scare these past two days were. If Tommy wouldn't have told Cayenne you were fine earlier today I would have called the police. I'm so glad to hear your voice. It just brightens up my day. Happy birthday, by the way beautiful. But, anyway, what did you do on your birthday? We were supposed to have dinner." Jude sighed quietly. She was guilty for skipping out on her dinner with Chase. She just couldn't bring herself to go.

"I'm sorry, I should have called you. Loren took me out for this last minute night thing. You know how she is, she wouldn't take no for answer. Next time, I promise." The way she sounded Jude couldn't even convince herself of that. But, it was good enough for Chase she heard him chuckle on the other end. She wasn't sure if she or Chase would ever be having dinner anytime soon. She just wished she could break it off. But, with Lucas back she was even more worried about breaking it off. She didn't want to be single.

"I was thinking we could go to dinner tonight. I want to take you somewhere special. You deserve it for being the best girlfriend in the world." Jude cringed she hated when he said things like that. It was like he was only further trying to make her feel guiltier. She also knew he was lying. She knew he wasn't going to take her to dinner. He really wanted to take her to her surprise party. She dreaded just thinking about it.

"Um, okay, if you really want to. Um, look Chase, I really got to go. I was about to go down to the studio to talk to Loren. Call me later tonight, alright?" She gathered her things and thought about everything that had occurred in one day. It wasn't even a full day yet. She just couldn't believe the whirlwind her life had taken. It was like she was on this dreaded rollercoaster ride that wouldn't stop. She just worried that when it did it would only be to crash.

She realized she hadn't been listening to anything Chase was saying. She finished putting her coat on and redirected her attention to her conversation. "Alright, so I'll call you around seven-thirty. I love you." Jude froze; she didn't know what to say to that. She just knew that she didn't love him back and she wasn't sure if she ever could. She looked down at her lyrics and shut the phone. She hated to do it, but she was sure he wouldn't take it the wrong way, or in this case, the right way. She just couldn't bring herself to breathe out another lie to him. Her world was consumed with lies and they only seemed to make things worse. She folded up at the song lyrics and put it away.

Jude made her way out of her apartment and down to her car. She was shocked when she was bombarded by paparazzi. She scurried into her car and drove out of there as fast as she could. She couldn't believe it. It had been about a year since she did the song with Loren they had been leaving her alone. She had no idea why they had a sudden fascination in her all of a sudden. She was speeding and she knew Tommy would be proud. Nobody taught her out to dodge paparazzi better than he did. She just never thought it would come in handy.

She made a right turn glad that she finally had them off her back. She drove smoothly almost going the wrong way. She couldn't believe it had been so long that she had almost forgotten where G Major was. She smoothly made her way into the back entrance unnoticed. She was extremely worried about what she might find walking into a place she had tried her best to avoid. She hadn't been in it since she did the song with Loren, which was like a year ago.

She climbed out of her car and was greeted by the winter wind. Her hair blew in her face and she nervously brushed it away. She knew she was making the right decision. Music was her life and she had neglected it for too long. She knew she could never be truly happy if music wasn't in her life. It was almost as if she prevented her own happiness. She rubbed her sweaty hands together and took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing," she muttered under breath. She quietly made her way into the same old G Major. She looked around at the working interns and realized it really hadn't changed. She had nothing to worry about.

She slithered by the hectic people without being noticed. She realized how easy it was for paparazzi to just sneak in. She heard music coming from the various studios and was flooded back with memories. She knew music was her soul and talking to Lucas helped her find it again. She never thought he could help her, but he had in more ways than one. Her life was sort of a mess at the moment, with no one to blame but herself. But, she was ready to get it back on track. She had made a lot of mistakes in the past year, but she hoped she could fix them. Tommy being her biggest mistake, she was ready to get past him and move on. She wasn't so sure it was going to be Chase who helped her, but she was willing to try.

She had a pretty good idea at what studio Loren would be in. She was picky and only wanted the best. After she was done talking to Loren she was going to go talk to Georgia. She hoped it was going to be as easy as she remembered. She made her way over to the studio she knew Loren was in. She cracked the door open and heard the sound of tears. She looked in and noticed Loren sitting on the couch crying. She was about to step in when she noticed Kwest kneel down in front of Loren and take both her hands in his.

The tears dripped down Loren's face and she looked down at her hands in Kwest's. Kwest looked up at her with compassionate eyes. "Loren, I never meant for this to happen. Or, for this to get as far as it did. You're a wonderful person and friend and I'm not going to lie and say there wasn't something there, but I'm married. I have a daughter. This can't go on any longer." Kwest looked away when she let out a whimper. He slowly slid his hands off of hers, and stood up turning his back on her.

Loren looked up at him and slammed her hands back down on the sides of the couch. "Coward, you're a coward! Sadie, Sadie is your wife. Do you even love it? You said it yourself that you felt obligated to her because of the baby. You know she could never give you what I give! Now I know how Jude felt with Tommy this morning!"

Kwest turned around. "Loren, don't compare me to Tommy. He and Jude are completely different from you and me. We don't love each other like they do. We just made a mistake, but I love Sadie, I do." Loren stood up and walked over to him; she wrapped her arms around his neck and began whispering things in his ear. Jude witnessed what was going on before her from the doorway. She couldn't believe her eyes, so Loren was in love. She just had no idea that it was with her sister's husband. Jude turned around to make sure nobody saw her and turned back around to see Kwest had pushed Loren away from him. She would have normally just bust in there, but she wanted to know more before she confronted them.

"Kwest don't tell me that it's over, it's not over." Loren shook her head at him and crossed her arms in a defiant matter. "Sadie trapped you into that marriage and you know it's the truth. Where is she now? Out shooting her little soap opera? She doesn't care about you; it's always her job as the biggest slut on "Hidden Desires," or the baby. Your marriage isn't going well and you know it." She wiped away some of her tears, smearing her makeup. "Don't deny me Kwest, please." She slowly walked towards him and placed her hand on the side of his face.

He reluctantly raised his own hand placing it over hers. He brought her hand down and gently kissed it. Loren silently began crying again when he let it go. "I can't, I just can't. You can get Tommy to produce you if this is too awkward." Kwest looked at her compassionately and stroked away her tears. She began crying more and Kwest kissed her on the forehead. Loren grabbed his hands and pushed them down to his sides while she held on to them. She leaned in and kissed him on the lips.

Jude watched in shock at the scene that had transpired down before her. She couldn't believe Kwest was cheating on Sadie with her best friend. She couldn't believe Loren was in love. She had never seen her so distraught or vulnerable before. She couldn't believe that she and Kwest had shared such a deep relationship. But, as she looked back it all made sense now. From the day Kwest acted shy around her after seeing her new look, or the times Loren would sneak off. Jude knew they had a pretty strong friendship, but she didn't know it went further than that. She felt like she was watching two completely different people.

Jude heard someone come up behind her and she quickly turned around. She looked in horror as she realized it was Sadie. "Oh, hey Sadie. I wanted to talk to you. Come with me. You don't want to bother Kwest now he's busy recording and all that stuff." Jude quickly ushered her away and Sadie looked at Jude in confusion. She had found time to come down in between takes to see Kwest. Their marriage wasn't doing so good. So, she was trying to make more time for him. She wondered why Jude was acting so strange.

"Jude, what's going on?" Jude continued to usher her away from the studio and flashed her a fake big smile. She didn't want Sadie to walk in on Kwest and Loren. Kwest was sort of ending it so there was no point in ruining their marriage now. She just didn't want to happen what she knew would happen.

"I just wanted to talk to you. We barely spend time together and I wanted to tell you about my new plan. I'm going to start singing again." Sadie let out a shriek and began talking, but Jude wasn't listening. "Um, yeah, let's go to lunch and I'll tell you all about it." Sadie smiled and started to walk out to go to lunch with her. Jude turned back around and looked back at the studio door. Loren was coming out and she noticed Jude. They looked in each others eyes and Loren knew that she knew. Jude kept walking all the while with her eyes on her. Loren looked at her sadly and wrapped her arms around herself.

Jude put her arm around Sadie once they made it outside. Sadie smiled and Jude turned to her. "I love you. I just wanted you to know that." Sadie looked at her and smiled again. She loved her enough to protect.

She just hoped she was doing the right thing.

**

* * *

****Alright, kiddies just another chapter for you. It was pretty short and most of it was just a filler. I really hope I didn't disappoint. I know this wasn't one of my best chapters, but Cayenne decided to go to Guatemala, that whore! I'm going to get you Cayenne! Leaving me like this, you know I need you!**

**Anyway, next chapter is going to be the party and I promise there is going to be drama. So, um, I think that's it.**

**Oh, wait, I'm so sorry this took so long! I'm really sorry; I was just having trouble thinking up stuff. You know how that can be, but I have everything planned out. Well, for the most part. Let's see where this story goes. But, I do know what chapter I want to be the last. Hopefully I'll get there one day, lol. This would have been out sooner if it wasn't for "So You Think You Can Dance," lol, I'm officially obssessed with it.**

**Anyway, REIVEW AND REVIEW, PLEASE! You know you wanna! Reviews are always greatly appreciated, plus they brighten up my day. I promise to respond! **

**Love ya Cayenne, Kerilynn, and Annika. Thanks for always being there for me guys. Oh, and much love goes to Sixte3n Candl3s for being a rubious author!**

**Thanks for reading! Now, go REVIEW!**


	21. Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain

**WOW! I'm back!**

Inspiration has a way of coming from the strangest places. I mean, from songs or music you never thought you would ever get inspiration from. I guess that's the strange thing about inspiration. Well, since inspiration has struck and my grandmother is napping I say...What the heck? Let me just give it a go and see if I can concentrate enough to finish this chapter to my loyal readers. I'll be honest, I've thought of abandoning this fic for some time now. It's been a lot going on with me having to take care of my grandmother all day everyday. I mean, school just started for me today to add insult to injury. Who gives homework on the first day? Being a junior already isn't fun. But, I just can't do that. I promised some people I would finish it, and so I shall. But, first I have to bring up some amazing authors and people that deserve some recognition. Now, some of these stories I'm bringing up are amazing and the people writing them are amazing. But, I don't always review. It's not intentional and it doesn't mean I like your story less. I may have just not had a chance to do so. I wonder how much time I have to even finish these author's notes.

"**CONSEQUENCES!" By, NOTACONTRIVANCE! I've said it about a million times. Best fic on this site. Hey, it's fine if you disagree but come on! Have you people read this fic? It's the best. I only wish I could write half as good as she does. Not to mention what a wonderful person she is. I can honestly say she's like an older sister to me. She's such a good friend always there if you need her. But, she never fails to deliver an amazing chapter. Every chapter will just make you happy even if it's sad. You just can't seem to help it. Her story is that good. You'll instantly fall in love. It was love at first sight for me and it will be for you to. She recently updated, and I haven't had the pleasure of really reading the chapter and getting into it. But, it's already amazing from just reading the author's notes. There always interesting and full with things you should want to know. She has a gift of randomness sometimes, I just love it! I love ya Cayenne! This amazing author also has a new story you all need to go check out and review. It's called "WILTED." I fell like a whole list of horrible things for not doing so myself. You beautiful people have to make up for me!**

**Um, these recommendations are extremely old and I don't what's happened to these stories while I've been gone. I suck, I know.**

"**INSPIRATION OF THE PAST", by MAZKALNS! Um, this author is amazing! I always love and live on her updates. But, she's a great person just like Cayenne. You should see the reviews this girl leaves me. You can see she actually read the story and appreciated it. I'm just glad that I can give a little back to what she has already given me. She tells me that she loves my story, but I ADORE hers. This girl never fails to give back to her faithful readers. She's great at what she does and I hope she keeps on doing it. I need to go review her chapter.**

"**HATERS OR LOVERS?" By, ALEXZGIRL1**! **Okay, so this is one of my good friends. She recently finished her story and I haven't even had a chance to look at it. I'm not happy about it. This girl started out not writing English that well, but she improved more and more each chapter. Better than most whose first language is English. If you haven't read her story go do so now and make sure to be nice and review as many chapters as you can. I mean, why not read it? It's already finished you don't have to wait for an update. **

"**NATURAL DISASTER!" ALSO, HER OTHER FIC "SWEET SURRENDER!" By, SIXTE3N CANDL3S! So um, I haven't reviewed these stories in a while. Um, I'm bad I know! I just. I feel so wrong because she mentioned my story in one of her chapters. I was so touched. I was just glad that she noticed me even though I don't always review. Anyway, these stories are both very different. But, they have one thing in common, that's that they're both brilliantly written and never disappoint. "Sweet Surrender" is a bit darker and raunchy story, for mature audience's only, sorry kiddies! Only she could have the talent enough to write that story the way she does. It's coming out amazing. Now, "Natural Disaster" is very intriguing you need to check that out too.**

All I can say to my readers is, don't expect some master piece. I have to be honest here. I haven't even thought about this story in over a month. Being a junior is exhausting, not to mention having a cold on top of that. Oh, and having to take care of your grandmother also. It isn't much work, but she is a distraction. I just fear I don't know how to write anymore. Damn, it was getting so good too.

I just have to thank my two inspirations for the fluff between, well if you read ya'll know

who in this chapter. They've been my inspiration for months now, and I can honestly say they were made for each other. When they dance together it moves me to tears, they have so much passion for each other and the music. It really helped me with the fluff in this chapter, and for that I am grateful. They inspire me everyday and I had to say something. Although, they don't dance together nearly enough. That alone makes me cry.

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Chapter Twenty-One: **_Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends_**

Jude absently stirred around the straw in her soda with her right hand. Her left elbow was on the table with her chin resting on her hand. She couldn't say that she was completely listening to anything Sadie was saying. She was talking, but Jude heard nothing. She had hoped that by taking Sadie to lunch she could figure out what was going on in her marriage with Kwest. Something horrible had to be going on to make him cheat with Loren of all people. That wasn't Kwest and she knew it. She expected more from him. She hated to say she didn't really expect more from Loren. She just couldn't blame her. All of her anger rested on Kwest. But, as she casually tuned in to Sadie's blabbering she noticed it was all about her soap opera, her baby, her new dress, her new watch, her new co-worker, her new make-up artist, her new dressing room, her new trailer, her new magazine cover, and her new interview. It was all her, her, her. Not once did she stop to listen to what Jude had to say, or even ask how she was doing. Jude was pretty sure she had zoned in on the problem, _communication_. It didn't justify what she saw with Kwest and Loren, but it made a little more sense.

Jude cleared her throat suddenly and Sadie finally stopped her rant. She put down her fork and flashed Jude a weak smile, she sighed. Jude watched her closely as her whole demeanor changed. "Alright, you know me too well Jude." She had apparently thought that Jude had cleared her throat to let her know she knew something. Yet, Jude knew nothing; she really was just clearing her throat. Sadie nervously picked her fork back up again and began picking at her food. Jude just noticed she hadn't eaten anything on her plate. "Kwest and I aren't doing so well. Our marriage I mean. We hardly talk anymore. I think he found one of Chaz's notes." She looked up from her plate at her. Jude just stared back dumbfounded, she had no idea what notes she spoke of. "We just don't talk like we used to anymore." She sighed dropping her fork all together. "I really do love him."

Jude couldn't help but have more feelings of guilt wash over her. It was like that hole was getting deeper and deeper. She had so many things to feel guilty about. It was just getting worse by the second. How could she even face poor Sadie? She really wondered about herself sometimes. She wondered if she really was a good person, well she tried. The way she was going wasn't working out. As she looked at the worried Sadie she just wanted to help her out. Maybe she could repent a little by saving Kwest and Sadie's marriage. "What Chaz notes? He's been sending you notes?" What was it lately with old flings sending notes to the Harrison girls? First Lucas and now Chaz, who next? They just couldn't seem to let them go. "How long has this even been going on? Were you planning on telling me?" Jude unconsciously put a hand up to her neck to feel around for her necklace she always touched. Her hand stopped moving when she realized it wasn't there. Chase had given her that necklace. She snapped out of her worry to listen to Sadie.

"It's been going on for about a month now. Roses, love letters, chocolate. I don't understand what's he's trying to do. He even wrote and produced a song. I just don't understand what his obsession is now. He keeps saying he can't get me out of his head. It's been like almost four years. He knows I have a family. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be mean. But, if Kwest did find one of those letters he'll never trust me again." Sadie adjusted her sunglasses and looked around.

"Sadie, what's in those letters? How come you never came to me before?" She was hurt that her sister hadn't confided in her, but it all became clear once she remembered Cayenne. She was practically Sadie's sister now. There really was no room for Jude. Although, she did have Loren she just wasn't so sure she did anymore. "Sadie you don't have feelings for Chaz do you?" She noticed the look of pure anguish cross Sadie's face. This was just a bad situation. A horrible situation all in its own, Jude just feared for the poor baby caught in the middle of it all.

Sadie quickly looked over at Jude in shock. "Of course I don't have feelings for Chaz. What type of question is that? I love Kwest. I just feel like there is something wrong with our marriage. I don't know what it is, but I have to find it. I feel like we've both just been shutting ourselves off." She fell back in her chair and put the fork down again. Her lunch just wasn't going to get eaten. Sadie had too many things on her mind and not enough time to think about them. She had to get back to the studio after lunch. "Jude, I don't have much time, I have to get back to filming after lunch."

Jude thought about what Sadie had said. She really did love Kwest. Jude just didn't understand what the problem was. What in the world could make Kwest cheat on Sadie with Loren? Sure Loren looked like a black haired Sadie, but they both had completely different personalities. "Yeah sure, I understand. I just want you to know you really have to stay away from Chaz. I think seeing or talking to him right now is the worst thing for your marriage. That's the best I can do with advice. But, I also think you should try and spend more time with Kwest. Even if it's just talking on the phone, try to squeeze in more time for him." Sadie nodded, taking in Jude's advice. She had to admit it was good advice and she would think about it.

Sadie and Jude got up and hugged each other goodbye. Jude knew she probably wasn't going to be seeing her much. They lived separate lives now and there wasn't a roof there anymore to bring them back together. She just wanted to make it a point of seeing Sadie at least once a week. Having lunch with her once a week would do their lost relationship good. Speaking of lost relationships, Jude wasn't sure what was left of her and Loren's relationship. She wasn't sure what to make of their friendship after what she had seen. It bugged her and she couldn't get the flashback out of her mind. She was angry. She was angry at Kwest, Loren, but most of all at her herself. She wished she hadn't seen it. She just wished she would have decided to stay home.

Sadie departed to go back to filming and Jude stood lost in thought for about five minutes. After she paid the check, _which Sadie casually forgot about_, she walked to her car biting her bottom lip the whole way. It was an old habit that wouldn't die. Whenever she was nervous she bit her bottom lip. It did, however; go away after the first year she had left Lucas. Getting slapped in the face while you're biting your lip doesn't feel good. But, she couldn't help it when it came to this situation. She was dreading going to talk to Kwest. She wanted to give him a piece of her mind, but she really didn't even want to know anything. She didn't want to know what he had to say. Getting more involved would just make things worse on her part. She knew that, but it was something she had to do.

Jude climbed in her car and began driving. She was glad she wasn't followed by paparazzi this time. It was an already stressful day and she didn't need that adding to it. It would just end up making things worse. She pushed her hair out her eyes and let out a deep breath. She had to prepare herself and think about what exactly it was she planned to say to Kwest and Loren. All she knew was that she wanted to talk to them separately. She was almost certain they would have two completely different accounts on everything. She just wanted to get to the bottom of things and make sure they ended what ever it was for good. She still had other problems to worry about, like the party Cayenne was throwing her tonight. There was no way of getting out of that one.

Jude pulled into the G Major parking lot and parked her car. She sighed pulling out her cell phone. She had to talk to Kwest, but she didn't want to do it in the studio. She still felt out of place there until she could talk to Georgia and get her contract fixed up. She knew Georgia would be delighted to have her signed again. She dialed his cell number and talked to him briefly. She had to admit she was angry he could just talk to her all cheery when just an hour ago her best friends tongue was down his throat. Jude put her cell phone away and climbed out of her Mustang. She closed the door and leaned against the car. She crossed her arms and put on her best "I mean business" face. It was cold and she would rather talk inside, but it was something about a dark alley that held its appeal.

She watched Kwest walk towards her with his hands in his pockets, blowing out air. He smiled at her and stopped once he was right in front of her. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and rubbed them together. "Is there a reason we have to talk outside in the cold? Not to mention, in a dark alley." He looked at Jude and noticed the look on her face. He knew whatever it was she called him down there for was serious. He wiped the grin off his face and really examined her. "This is about Tommy, isn't it?" Jude looked away from him when he spoke Tommy's name. He was the last person she wanted to think about. "Did something happen between you two? He's been acting strange all day. After he came to the studio extra late Georgia almost hammered him. But, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?" When it came to Tommy, he could always read her the best. But, that wasn't what she came to talk to him about.

Jude uncrossed her arms and put one hand on her hip. She titled her head to the side and looked at him with an impatient look. "You mind telling me what the hell is going on between you and Loren?" To say his eyes almost bulged out of his head would be an understatement. Kwest dropped his hands out of his pocket and grabbed Jude's arm. He looked around and quickly pulled her away from her car. He opened the driver's seat side and pushed her in. He quickly walked around to the other side and climbed in. Once inside he shut the door and looked over at the disorientated Jude.

He turned as much as he possibly could in the car and looked at her with complete seriousness on his face. "Who told you about that?" He spoke in an urgent whisper as if their every move were being watched. Jude adjusted her coat and also turned in her seat to look at him. It was more serious than she thought. Kwest was acting as if they were talking about a high profile case. "Did Loren tell you? She's the one that told you, isn't she?" Kwest let out a loud gasp and pushed back his shoulder into the seat in frustration.

Jude looked over at him with just as much seriousness as he had given her earlier. "No, Loren didn't tell me anything. I had the pleasure of seeing you and her together. That little beautiful scene back there about an hour ago. You mind telling me about that? You're cheating on my sister Kwest!" Her anger got the best of her and she punched him on his right arm. Kwest rubbed his arm and looked over at her with remorse. "Don't give me those Kwest puppy dog eyes. There is nothing you can say to justify this! You're married Kwest. She's my sister. I just don't understand this. There was a time when you hated Loren." She sighed and rubbed her irritated eyes for a moment.

"I had hopes for you Kwest! You're supposed to be different! I had higher standards for you. You're not that guy; you're supposed to be the example! But, I guess you are just one of them! You and the rest of them! You're pulling a Tommy, you know that! Why do producers always start a stupid secret relationship with their artist, to then only break their heart in the end?" Jude ended her rampage and turned her attention back to the more than a little scared Kwest.

"Jude, please clam down. I can explain. It's not like I wanted any of this to happen. It was the last thing I wanted to happen. It's complicated, it's not the type of relationship you think it is. We haven't even done anything besides kiss, alright. I'm not happy about it. You know I love Sadie. I do, I honestly do. I never meant for this to happen. I didn't want to hurt Loren. The last thing I want to be is another Tommy. Just look at how he's damaged you," he made a motion at Jude with his hand.

Jude looked at him with an irritated expression. "Tommy has not damaged me! I moved on, in case you haven't noticed!" Even as she spoke the words she couldn't help but start laughing. Kwest looked at her incredulously and they both started laughing. They laughed for a while until Jude remembered what she came there for. "No, stop it Kwest! I'm supposed to be mad at you, and I am. This isn't about me and Tommy. This is about your twisted relationship with Loren! You're not giving me any answers here." Jude pushed her hair out of her face with both hands. She put on her best mad face and looked over at him.

Kwest looked at her with a completely different expression from just moments before. She could see the sadness and regret on his face. Two feelings she had become more than accustomed to. "What can I say Jude? Nothing I can say can take it back or make it go away. I don't even remember when it started. It's not a sexual relationship. It's just...Loren is a damaged girl; I think she just needed someone to listen and I was there. I can't explain what happened." The look on his face reminded her of all the times she talked to him about Tommy. It was the look he would get when he wished he could explain him to Jude. Wished he could explain why he did the things that he did. For some reason Jude couldn't be angry with him. She just didn't have that anger there. "You know I tried to end it today. I'm going to try to get Loren a new producer."

He turned his head to look out of the window and Jude almost got the feeling he didn't really want to get her a new producer. It bothered her but she wasn't going to say anything. Kwest wasn't the problem here; Loren and Chaz were the problems. She knew talking to Loren could potentially fix one problem, but Chaz was another story. She was seriously contemplating telling Tommy a bogus story to get him to beat up Chaz. That'll teach him for trying to mess up Sadie's marriage. To say that Jude was happy Sadie and Kwest were married was saying the least. She did not want to see them break up. If they were to break up all hope would be lost for Jude finding "the one." If they couldn't make it as a couple, no one could.

"Alright Kwest, you're free to go. Your dirty little secret is safe with me. But, I swear to God, if I see you with Loren again I will rip off your genitals with my bare hands." Kwest practically ran out of the car as soon as Jude finished her warning and death glare. He believed her; he believed anything crazy when it came to Jude. Jude leaned over quickly and pushed the passenger side door open. She called out to Kwest and he stopped walking. "Seriously though, you're better than this Kwest. Please prove to me and Sadie that you're better than this." Kwest nodded his head and looked down. Jude leaned over and shut the door.

After Kwest left, she sat in the car for a while longer in thought. She needed to clear her head of everything before she went to go see Loren. She was preparing herself for what would be an emotional confrontation, she just knew it. She knew that Loren would have a lot of things on her mind to say, and she won't be afraid to say them. Jude took her time driving to the one place she knew Loren would be. She guessed she left the studio after being rejected by Kwest. There was one place Loren always went when she was feeling down. She would go straight to Jude's apartment. Jude could never figure out why, but it would always be the one place she would find her. As she drove she mentally prepared herself to approach Loren. She was just glad the hardest part was over with. She already knew that Jude knew. Loren should at least be ready for her.

Jude pulled into the parking lot of her apartment and adjusted herself. She honestly didn't know what she was going to say to Loren. What could she possibly say? She was angry, but she didn't want to attack her. Jude slowly made it up to her apartment; she stopped when she noticed a bouquet of roses and a note against the door. She picked them up and opened the note. She recognized Lucas' handwriting immediately, he had bought her the roses and scribbled down his address and cell number. She looked at the red roses and they made her think of Tommy. She hadn't seen him since he left that morning. She felt used. She was at least expecting a phone call; he had left with no word. She sighed and stuck the note in the flowers. She wondered if Loren was in fact in her apartment.

She slowly made her way into the apartment and noticed the lights were on. She quickly took off her coat and set the roses down. She knew she had to be comfortable for the conversation that was necessary. She figured Loren was in the bathroom since it was quiet. She grabbed the roses and was making her way into the kitchen, when she noticed a dark figure enter to the right of her. She gasped and dropped the flowers. Tommy awkwardly bent down to pick the flowers up for her. As he did so he looked at them curiously and noticed a note had fallen out of them. Jude quickly bent down faster realizing the situation. She picked up the note and stuck it in her pocket. She then turned on Tommy with an incredulous look. "What the hell are you doing in my apartment? How did you even get in?"

Tommy looked at her suspiciously. "How about... who gave you these flowers and why are you hiding that note?" Jude gave him an irritated expression. There was the Tommy Jude knew. He's married but still can't help getting jealous of any and all guys in her life. But, he was never jealous of Chase. He assumed the flowers and note must have been from him. "It really doesn't even matter why I'm here. I just came looking for something I may have left. But, I obviously didn't leave it here." Jude stared at him with interest. It never seized to amaze her how he could just stand there and pretend nothing happened. He turned, but quickly turned back around to face her. She could literally see him forming what it was he wanted to say to her. He wouldn't give her eye contact and she could hear the words. She crossed her arms around her stomach and gave him an impatient look. "About last night... and this morning..." He paused mid-sentence and gave her a sympathetic look.

Jude looked the other way. "Just don't even bother. It's fine, I don't care anymore, Tommy. Let's just pretend it never happened. I was still drunk this morning anyway. I didn't know what I was doing or saying. I understand you're married and I have a boyfriend. We'll just keep it between us and...We can, we can just stay away from each other." She slid her arms around her stomach down and stared towards the ground. "We don't even have to speak to each other when we happen to be at the same event." She looked up at him and it almost killed him the indescribable look upon her face. "Forget you even met a Jude Harrison...I'll forget I ever got to meet Tommy Quincy. You're still just Little Tommy Q. to me. The boy that I hated in that forgotten boyband." She shrugged and quickly turned to walk back into the living room.

Tommy quickly walked up behind her and grabbed her hand, gently at first, but his grip tightened when he felt her body move forward. She quickly turned to face him. "This is a completely different girl from the one I saw this morning. Does it have something to do with those flowers and note." Jude didn't hide the pure confusion that washed over her face. What was going on? He continued to stare at her with suspicion when it suddenly dawned on her. He was pulling the you-don't-want-me-so-I-want-you-now card. He went from getting ready to break her heart again to wanting her. He was unbelievable sometimes and her anger intensified at the sight of him trying to read her.

"You're acting like a completely different guy from this morning! What happened to telling me it can't happen! You have a wife Tommy, despite what I might feel it doesn't change that! Nothing can change the fact that you got married! You are married! I can't believe I ever even thought you had real feelings for me! You got what you wanted, so there! Are you happy? We're done and that's it. You took me mind, body, and soul! I have nothing else to give. So you want to act like you care about me because I got flowers from another guy? Then be my guess! I don't care; you made it clear this morning. I made it clear now. There is nothing left to say! I'm so tired and done with this. I was drunk last night and still dazed this morning and for that I am sorry. But, that's it; there is nothing else to it."

She was lying through her teeth, but what else could she say? She couldn't hear him break her heart one more time. She knew she had to be the one to end it, all of it. She was mentally, physically, and emotionally tired of it all. It had taken a toll on her in every way possible. She was tired of being used and feeling guilty about it. She had to clean up her life and become a better person. Getting rid of Tommy would be the first step. She just knew he was going to go with out a fight. He always wanted her the most when he would think he was going to lose her. She watched him staring at her and she sighed. She was so damn tired. She felt like she might collapse at any moment. The whole events of the day played through her mind. She walked to the couch and leaned on to the top for support.

Tommy looked at her and he could see it all over her face she was completely serious. It wasn't like all of the others time. She really wanted nothing to do with him. She didn't want to be friends; she didn't even want to be acquaintances. He screwed up bad this time and he knew it. Kwest had warned him that this would happen, but he didn't listen. He looked over at her frail weak figure and he couldn't blame her. She was tired and he was too. Fighting his feelings for her everyday wasn't easy. Heck, just having feelings wasn't easy. But, he couldn't lose her, he refused to lose her. The thought of that was just unbearable. He didn't want to risk hurting her anymore, but losing her was too big a risk. He was going to have to risk it. He walked over to her and grabbed both her arms unexpectedly and she stared at him with fear in her eyes.

He was doing it again. She was completely scared. He always did this to her, but this time she wouldn't be able to pick herself up off the floor. She was mush in his arms, especially now that she was extra weak. She didn't know what to do. She just knew that she had to keep fighting. He wasn't worth this feeling anymore. He made his the decision the day he said "I do" with her standing right there. "Tommy just stop it!" She shrugged his arms off and started stepping backwards. He quickly moved forward and grabbed her closer to him. "Tommy, just let it go!" She pushed him away, but he persistently pulled her into him. She fell against him and let out a despairing whimper. She weakly pulled him away and he insistently pulled her back. They were practically in a fight as she tried to get him away from him. But, he wouldn't budge; he waited for her protesting to stop. He knew she wanted to be right there, she was just being stubborn. But, he refused to let her go, he could be stubborn too.

"I'm not going to let go of you, ever. So just stop it." His words came out a little harsher and demanding then he had intended them too. He didn't budge when she smacked him across the face; he just turned to the other side and loosened his grip around her waist and arm. He wasn't ready to just give in and realize he actually lost her. When she completely rested herself against him, she was engulfed with tears. She seemed to be crying out all of her frustration due to his marriage, and to just everything she was going through. She never got to let him know how she really felt about his marriage until now. She was drowning in tears and he placed his hands against her back to hold her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she cried against his shoulders. Her knees kept giving out and she would slip down slightly, but he was there to pull her back up. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and her nails dug into the top of his back.

He leaned down to her ear and she could feel his breath against her earlobe. It made her whole body weaken and her knees momentarily gave out again. Her hysterical crying had calmed down and she could breathe again. He let his breathing linger for a bit until he finally whispered in her ear. "I need you, girl." She began to cry hysterically again and he wrapped his arms all the way around her back lifting her off the ground a little. He carried her across the room as she cried against him. He pushed the door of her bedroom in and carried her inside. He walked backwards to the bed and when the back of his legs touched the end of the bed he collapsed onto it with Jude on top of him. She ran her hands down from his shoulders to his chest. She pressed her hands into him as she pushed herself up. Their faces were face to face and she stared down at him. Her tears began to fall on his face and he gently raised his hands to her face and stroked away her tears. Her hands slipped down to his sides and she rested her head against his chest.

He let her rest against his chest because she was tired. She was unbelievably tired and he knew that she needed this. He was just glad she had given up fighting. Not having her in his life was just impossible. He wouldn't have it again. He regretted everyday of his life the first time he left her. She didn't remember why he left, he wasn't sure she had any idea why. He wasn't surprised she had completely erased it from her mind; it was a pretty horrible ordeal. But, he replayed it in his head everyday. She didn't have to remember, it would only hurt her more. She still acted as though she lost her virginity to Speed. He didn't need her remembering what happened between them all those years ago, not now. He stroked her hair as she listened to his heart beat. She wondered if it was beating fast for her.

She tilted her head up and she looked at him staring at the ceiling in thought. She had given in, she had really given in. She had to admit it felt right there in his arms. It never felt more right than right where she was. She never wanted to move from the position they were in and she was relieved she got to let her frustration out. She hadn't cried in so long that it felt good to do so. Tommy's hand suddenly slid from her hair down to her shoulder and to one of her arms. The other soon followed and he had both hands wrapped around her arms like before. He dragged her up from the position that they were in and she lifted herself up slightly. Their faces were so close that their noses were touching.

Jude closed her eyes and she trembled slightly when in one quick moment Tommy was on top of her. He pulled her up with him and then down onto him into their famous position. She was straddling him as he cupped her face with both of his hands. Jude wasn't moving she was completely in his hands. He could do anything to her at that point and she wouldn't protest. He reached up and soothingly kissed her forehead. He slowly moved down and pressed a kiss on one cheek, then lingered on to the next one. He tenderly kissed the top of her nose and then rubbed his against hers slightly in an Eskimo kiss. He gently kissed the corners of her mouth and then pressed his lips against her chin for a second. When he was finished he opened his eyes and smiled up at her as he gently stroked the sides of her face with his thumbs.

She started to cry and he pulled her down and even tighter onto him than before. He held onto her tight as though he never wanted to let her go. She rested her head against his shoulder and he lovingly rubbed her back as she cried some more. He never before felt the way he did with her as he held onto her right there. All of what they just did was unreal. He wasn't used to feeling so strongly about someone and never held someone like he was holding Jude. He couldn't even comprehend how strongly he felt about her and needed her. Not even back when he had told her he loved her did he feel this way. It scared him; it scared him more than he knew. But, he needed her; he needed her with every fiber of his being. He needed Jude Harrison, and right now she needed him. He kissed the top of her head and continued to gently rub her back. Her crying had subsided but she didn't want to move. She cherished the feeling of his hands against her and their bodies together. She needed him and as much as it pained her, she needed this. But, she knew she wasn't going to be getting it everyday.

She knew it didn't matter who they were with, they always went back to each other. She accepted the fact that they couldn't be together. She realized it there as she rested her head against his shoulder; this was the closet they could be. They weren't going to be together and it wasn't anything they could do about it. But, she oddly wasn't sad anymore. She understood it now, she felt as though she understood a little better. She understood him because now she felt the same. Yes, she needed him and a part of her still loved him. But, she now felt like she thought he did, she wasn't going to risk everything to be with him. Although, she was of age, had been for years now and didn't even work at G Major, yet.

The word _yet_ lingered on her mind. When she did begin working there again they couldn't have a relationship. Besides Tommy had made it clear he didn't want a relationship it had been years of this, but she finally got it. They just weren't meant to be, he had a little thing called a wife, and she had a _boyfriend?_ She didn't know what to call Chase. Tommy isn't going to open himself all the way up to her, he amazingly seemed to be able to do that with Cayenne, but she didn't care anymore. She was fine with this, with what they were doing right now. In her mind it was the last time they would be close, she knew it. But, she wasn't sure Tommy did. She had all these different thoughts running through her head as Tommy rubbed her back.

She was definitely confused; she kept jumping from one thing to the next. But, before she let him go, one thing still lingered on her mind. She moved around from her position on top of him and raised her head off his shoulder. He looked at her lovingly and she bit her bottom lip. Tommy raised his hand up to her face and stroked her bottom lip with his thumb. Jude stopped biting her lip and looked away. It was hard to ask him what she wanted to know when he was acting so lovingly towards her. It had been so long since they had been like this, he never let go. Since this morning she guiltily thought about being like this. Tommy looked at her in a questioning glance. His hands found their way to her waist. His thumbs gently began stroking the bare skin of her stomach just under her shirt. She felt the goose bumps begin to form at the mere touch of him. He was really making it hard on her.

She looked at him seriously and she knew now was the time to ask. She felt that she at least had to figure some things out before ridding herself of him. She felt it best she get all the closure she needs to make it easier on herself. She looked at him staring at her tenderly and she blurted out a question. It wasn't exactly what she wanted to ask. But, her emotions got the better of her. "How could you leave me all those years ago?" Her voice broke with emotion and she quickly got up and distanced herself away from him. It was something that she always replayed in the back of her mind, but refused to ever think about. She hadn't told anyone and completely removed the incident from her mind. It was as if it never happened. When Tommy came back he made it easier on her for not mentioning it. Jude could almost ask herself the question, what made Tommy leave? Although, she knew exactly what did, she wasn't sure she was prepared for his answers.

She was answered with silence and she half expected it. What was he going to say? Nothing could make it right. He was in shock that she even bought it up. He thought she had completely erased it from her mind. He wasn't sure what was making her ask now. She walked slowly towards her dresser with her back to him and she stepped on something which quickly made her step back. She looked down and it was if realization had come down on her like a ton of bricks. What the hell was she doing? Tommy was married and that's all there was to it. She realized she was too stuck in the past. She bent down and picked up his wedding ring which was what she stepped on. She held it up and it made her even madder when she realized that's what he came looking for. He didn't have the decency to come talk to her about last night or this morning, but he sure as hell wanted his ring back.

She walked over to him and placed a finger on his lips as he was about to speak. She grabbed his hand and slowly placed the ring in the palm of it. She hated herself for bringing up those years ago. She hated herself for letting him stay this long. This is what she had to do and she was finally letting go. "Jude, you can't..." She shook her head no cutting him off and walked away from him. She didn't want him to try and explain she really didn't need him to. She was stuck in the past and this was the only way out. She walked into the living room with him close behind her and opened the door. She was making a clear statement that she wanted him to go. "Jude, I made a mistake all those years ago. You know that. I have to live with that mistake everyday. Just, you, you just can't shut me out of your life!" Jude held tightly onto the doorknob and tried not to look him in the eye.

"Tommy, you've made a lot of mistakes since then and I have to live with them. I have to live with your mistakes everyday, but I'm not going to anymore. I don't care about the past anymore. I'm going to start new and you should too. You have a wife and it doesn't get newer than that. Just go be with her. We've been stuck on this illusion for too long, way too long. Let's just move on with our lives. I'm twenty-one now, I have to live my life. My whole life has been you, and I can't do that anymore. I'm going to focus on my singing and the rest will go from there. You focus on producing and... Cayenne. You've messed up with me soooo many times, don't mess it up with her." She opened the door wider and looked out into the hallway. He was close to her and she could hear his breathing. It was hard, but she felt strength she never felt before. When he walked past her and out into the hallway she sighed out in relief. He looked at her with sad eyes, but she shut the door. She was amazed that she could, but she did it.

That chapter in her life was finally shut, or so she hoped. She looked down at her watch and almost screamed. It was almost time for her to get ready for the party and she still had to go talk to Loren. She grabbed her purse, coat, and keys and quickly made it to the door. She decided to walk slowly so she wouldn't run into Tommy. She climbed into her car and drove quickly to Loren's apartment with all these thoughts racing through her head. She wanted to know what she would say, and she was actually scared of what she would find. She knew Loren didn't take rejection too well and after this morning she may be a mess. Tommy crossed her mind a lot, but she didn't let herself think about him for too long. As far as she was concerned that boat had finally sailed.

She finally made it to Loren's apartment and she quickly made her way up. She knew Loren was expecting her, so she might not even be here. Jude walked out of the elevator and fumbled through her purse looking for the spare key. She stood in front of her door and hastily fumbled through her purse. Jude's hand stopped moving when the door opened and Loren stood before her. To say Loren looked broken would be an understatement. Jude wasn't sure how long she had been home, but she was in her robe and her neatly done hair from this morning was completely frazzled. She moved aside and let Jude enter into the apartment. Jude looked to the coffee table and there was a completely empty container of ice cream. Loren was in worse condition than she had imagined.

Loren shut the door and quickly turned to Jude. "If you've come here to lecture me just save it! I don't want to hear it from you. Not you of all people. But, if you've come here as a friend you are more than welcome." She walked past Jude and made her way over to the couch, she sat down and rested her elbows on her thighs followed by her chin on her hands. She closed her eyes and sighed. "I think Tommy is my new producer." She looked up at Jude.

Jude could see the pain in her eyes and she felt bad, but she also felt bad for the pain she saw in Sadie's eyes. Jude closed her eyes and when she opened them she exploded. "Loren, what in the hell were you thinking? You've done a lot of low things before, but never this low. I forgave you for Speed and all those things you did to me...But, this is my sister's husband Loren! It's Kwest, him of all people! Loren, I really thought you had changed. I thought you were a different person, but I guess I was wrong. They have a baby, a freaking baby." Jude sighed and looked away. "Call me a hypocrite if you like, but you know this is different. Loren, I love you both, but if I have to choose..." She looked over at the quiet Loren and waited to hear what she had to say.

Loren quickly stood up and made her way across the room. "Oh, don't give me that crap! Don't you even start! Don't stand there like you just know everything. Judging me like you're any better. You don't know what's happened between me and Kwest and you still don't know even though you went to go talk to him. Thanks for that by the way. The aftermath of that was just great!" She ran a hand through her frazzled hair and crossed her arms. She began to speak softly. "Jude, you know what love is. You've had it about once in your life. I've had it twice and this time was the best. It was like being with someone who understands you no matter how messed up you are. He understands me, we understand each other. It wasn't even sexual." She laughed, but it couldn't stop the tears accompanied with her laughter. Jude had a look on her face of pity and Loren stopped laughing. She hastily wiped away the tears. "Don't look at me like that! Don't look at me with pity."

"I do pity you. Loren, you know I know how you feel. He's your producer you talk about everything together, he understands you. Blah, blah, blah. I've lived it Loren. You know that, you've seen me live it. You don't want to go through that. Look at me, it's been years and I'm still a mess around him. You think you're in love, but trust me you're not. Be happy it's over now." Jude looked away; she knew Loren was in love, she had been seeing it for weeks. She just hoped Loren wasn't in too deep because it had to end here. "Loren, I'm not even angry anymore, okay? Let's just move on, we'll pretend this didn't happen. Just promise you'll move on." She looked at her.

"Oh, just shut up!" Loren threw her hands in the air and put her back against the window. She crossed her arms again. "You don't understand what I'm going through. Jude, you have three freakin' guys that want you. One who's just pathetic, the other is beefcake, and one who is married too! All I want is one, that's all I want. I'm in love with Kwest and that's all there is to it. You don't understand, you couldn't even begin to understand. Unless you were there you wouldn't understand. But, he's made it clear. He's made it clear we can never have anything. Thanks to you finding out."

Jude let out an exasperated sigh. "Are you kidding me? Kwest is in love with Sadie! What don't you understand about that? This has nothing to do with me finding out! He just doesn't want you Loren. I'm sorry, but you need to get over it. He has a family to worry about and you aren't it. I still want to be your friend, but you need to get over this! You two and whatever you had is done. It is over, that's it! Let's not think about me or anything else. I just want you to understand that it's over."

"What if I told you I lied? What if I told you Kwest lied? It was sexual, it was very sexual. We had sex all over the place, even in your bed!" Jude dropped her purse and covered her ears and started walking away. Loren kept following and taunting her. Loren stopped walking and stopped at the doorway of her bedroom. Jude had already entered it and she turned around once she heard silence. Loren stared at the bed and tears slowly escaped her eyes. Jude dropped her hands and looked at her. "We never had sex; it was much deeper than that." Loren walked over to the bed and sat down; she looked at the sheets and ran her hand over them. "We literally slept together but that was it." She looked up at Jude and her tears spilled out. "It hurts Jude, it really hurts."

Jude pulled her into a hug and patted her head gently. "I know Loren, I know. But, you'll get through it and I'm not mad. We'll just put this behind us." Jude's pocket began vibrating and then ringing. She quickly answered it and Loren slumped down on her pillows. "Hello." She heard Tommy's voice and it disoriented her for a second. She really didn't want to be hearing from him so soon. She looked over at Loren and thought about how Tommy would always make her turn into that.

"Jude, um, Chase was wondering if I could drive you to the restaurant since he, um, can't right now...Oh, what the hell... They want me to drive you to your surprise party. Are you ready? I'm on my way there." Jude almost dropped the phone. She had forgotten about the party. "Um, Jude, are you by any chance with Loren? She was supposed to be here already." Jude sighed at how nonchalant he was acting and looked over at Loren's desolate figure.

"Um, Tommy, take your time and wait for me I'll be right there." She hung up quickly and looked over at Loren. "You have to get ready very quickly. You have to go to my 'surprise party.' I know you probably don't want to, but it would look strange if you don't go. Just dress up real nice and ignore Kwest all night and before you know it, you'll be over him." Jude smiled reassuringly and got up. "I, um, I have to get ready... Oh, will somebody help me!"

* * *

To say the ride to G Major was awkward is saying the least. Jude tried her best not to look at Tommy by adverting her eyes out the window. Tommy gripped the steering wheel and looked over at Jude every once in a while. Jude began humming to herself as she watched the streets pass by. Tommy looked at her and Jude began singing softly.

_She's got the kind of look that defies gravity_

_She's the greatest cook_

_And she's fat free_

Tommy reached over and grabbed Jude's hand making her jump. She snatched it back and put her hand on her chest. She looked over at him. He didn't even give Jude a chance to breathe before he spoke. "She's not you." He paused for a moment and then he opened his door and climbed out. Jude looked straight ahead and realized they were already there and parked. She shook her head and tried to get out of her daze. Tommy was already around her side and he opened the door. Jude undid her seatbelt and he held out his hand. Jude avoided it and quickly began walking in front of him.

Jude precariously slammed the door open and made her way in. Tommy quickly followed. They were greeted by an unexpected sight. The decorations weren't all put up, the lights were on, and everyone was crowded around a hysterical Cayenne. Almost everyone she knew was there and they were all trying to make Cayenne feel better from what it seemed. Jude looked around and Loren came rushing towards her. She started to try and push Jude out, but it was too late. Everyone had noticed them.

Cayenne stood up and dropped what she was holding. She held out a shaking finger and pointed it at Jude. "You, you, how could you do this to me!" Everyone looked at Jude with disgust on their faces and she had no idea why. She looked around in shock. Cayenne quickly walked up to Tommy and slapped him hard across the face. Jude looked at EJ, Georgia, and Kwest trying to read their expressions, but it didn't work. "You slept with her, didn't you? Didn't you?" Tommy grabbed the distraught Cayenne's arms and tried to calm her down. She stepped out of his grasp and backed away from them. "You two look beautiful together in the tabloids. Oh, and I forgot to thank Loren for being your chauffeur. I hope you two had fun last night." She put her hand over her mouth and ran away past everybody dramatically.

Tommy looked at Jude and then ran out after Cayenne. Jude looked over at Loren in shock hoping for some clarification. Sadie walked over and picked up what Cayenne had dropped and made her way over to Jude. She held up the tabloid to Jude's face and slowly put it down. Jude had never seen Sadie look so angry. She knew it was coming. "Jude, I thought I knew you! How could you do this is to Cayenne and Chase?" She made a motion with her hand to where Chase quietly sat, he didn't look surprised. "She treated you like a sister Jude! You should have seen her trying to get this party ready for you, and this, this is how you repay her? You should be ashamed of yourself! I don't even want to know what you two did, the thought just disgusts me. Their married Jude... married!" Everyone moved a bit closer to Sadie and it was if they were closing in. No one made a move to stop her.

"She's like a sister to me. I don't even know what to say. We had lunch this morning and you just sat there and acted like nothing happened. How could you live with yourself? You know how I feel about cheaters Jude! You know that!" Jude looked over at their father who looked away in silence. "You know, you're my sister and I said I would stand by you no matter what. But, I can't stand by you for this. You're a home wrecker Jude. I hate to say it, but you're officially a flat out home wrecker."

Jude inched closer to Sadie with a look of remorse on her face. "Sadie, you don't know what happened. Just please let me explain. Don't shut me out. I never meant for any of this to happen." She pleaded with Sadie with her eyes and her words. You knew exactly how Sadie felt about cheaters. She should have known Tommy cheating on Cayenne would have been the same as Tommy cheating on Sadie to her. Jude knew she had screwed up before this, and it was just making it all worse.

EJ walked over to Sadie and tried to usher her way, but Sadie brushed her off. "Jude, you might as well not even be a sister to me anymore. You hurt my best friend in the biggest way possible. I don't think there's a way you make this better! This is why you have no friends Jude. You push them all away! Your obsession with Tommy always leaves you alone! Why do you think Speed had to go to that skank right there?" She motioned to Loren. "Why do you think it ended so badly with Lucas? Jude closed her eyes at the mention of Lucas. She couldn't believe Sadie would bring that up. "Why is Chase upset over there? I forgave you for what you did when I was with Tommy...But, this is just out of line. Cayenne is the nicest person I know and she doesn't deserve this!"

Jude looked around and for the first time she noticed Kat and Jamie were there. The tears flooded down her face at the look on their faces. She felt like trash and everything Sadie was saying she knew was true. Loren walked up closer to Jude and grabbed her hand. Jude looked down at it as Sadie started up once again. "Is this how you make yourself feel better? You go after Tommy to see if you can get him or not. Do you even realize what you're doing? This has been going on for years Jude and I don't blame Tommy." Georgia made a move to try and stop Sadie's tirade herself, but Darius stopped her. It was like a soap opera and he wanted to watch more. "You're far worse than dad." Jude thought that Sadie had gotten over that, but she was wrong. She looked over at her father, but he was gone. "You're a repeat offender. Just when we think you're over him. You two are at it again."

Jude looked around, but her vision was blurred due to her tears. She had a mixture of emotions and she didn't know which one to go with. They all kind of slumped down into depression until she let her anger shine through. She was mad at Sadie for judging her, she was mad at her for being a hypocrite, but most of all she was mad at her for not letting her explain herself. Sadie opened her mouth, but Jude spoke first. "Tell me Sadie...How's Chaz doing?" Everyone looked up in quiet shock and Sadie looked as though she had been slapped across the face. Loren squeezed Jude's hand and smirked. Sadie reached over and smacked Jude hard across the face. It could have been heard even outside of G Major. Loren stepped in front of Sadie and Jude put a shaking hand up to her face. Kwest made his way up to Sadie's side and Loren looked down.

Sadie put her finger up and pointed it at Jude past Loren. "Don't you even call yourself my..."

"I slept with Kwest!" Loren blurted it out cutting off Sadie. Everyone looked up in shock and Kwest dropped his cup. Jude took the opportunity and grabbed Loren's arm. She dragged her outside before she could get the wrath of Sadie.

* * *

**So, how long has it been? Too long, you say. Well, I agree. I'll admit I even thought about just not finishing this story. But, thanks to the amazing Cayenne she made me realize this means more to me than I thought. She didn't give up on me. She still sends me PM's even if I don't respond. That kept me inspired; it let me know someone was still thinking about me. Although, I wasn't inspired enough to edit, lol.**

**I don't really know what to say. I feel awful for being gone so long. But, being a junior is hard work! They pile on the work and then some of you may know I've been taking care of grandmother who is still here. I'm sorry it's been long and I hope people haven't given up this story. **

**So, if you actually read this...it'd be nice if you could um, REVIEW! It's been so long since I got one I'll probably cry. But, I've been gone so long I don't think I deserve them. You decide.**

**-Ruby**


	22. Snitches And Talkers Get Stitches And

**I hate this chapter, I hate this story. I hate that I took forever to update. I hate that Cayenne is in France not knowing how good of a friend she is. I hate that I'm a bad writer. I hate that I couldn't just let this story go. I hate that I haven't read or reviewed my good dear friends' stories. I hate that I'm not good with grammar. I hate that I'm a pretty much a senior now. I hate that I didn't do good on my SAT's the first time. I hate that I can't seem to finish this story. I hate that I hate so many things. Most of all, I hate that I can't truly recommend stories to you anymore that I haven't even been reading myself. I guess I can say I hate that I'm a lousy friend. I suck.**

**But, I still have to tell you…NOTACONTRIVANCE is an amazing writer. Every last one of her stories deserves to be awarded. She deserves every last compliment she gets. Not only is she an amazing writer, she is an amazing person. When she writes the next great American novel we can say we knew her when she was just in highschool, inspiring all of her friends to be better. Even when she knew they didn't deserve it. I don't say this much about people. Actually I don't say it about anyone, but I proudly say it about her. She is a truth gift on earth. She is one of those true blessings that walk the earth. I can honestly say I would be lost if I were not blessed by her presence. I don't compliment people very often; it's not something I do. But, how can you not praise someone so incredible? Read her stories and you will be asking me the same thing.**

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Chapter Twenty-Two: _**Snitches And Talkers Get Stitches And Walkers**_

Jude woke up with a feeling of dread. Today was officially the day after her second worst night ever. She pulled the covers up under her arms and looked up at the ceiling. The sunlight shined brightly through her windows giving a false impression of a beautiful day. Jude knew today was going to be anything but a beautiful day. The cold in the room agreed with her. She sighed and stopped moving when she felt a figure next to her. The events of last night for her were a little sketchy. She remembered running out with Loren and after that everything went kind of quickly. She just wished it were all some bad dream, she wished she could just make go away. Sadie hated her and...

"Kwest?" Loren moved around in the bed and slapped a hand down on Jude's face. Jude closed her eyes and slowly lifted Loren's hand off of her face. Loren opened her eyes and grunted sinking her head back into the pillow. Apparently Loren had stayed at Jude's apartment. Jude hadn't actually remembered that part. She sat up and looked around; it appeared to have been a rough night, for both of them. The floor was buried in tissues on both sides of the bed. Loren opened her eyes and looked back up at Jude. "I don't want to go to the studio today!" Just as her head crashed down on the pillow again one of their cell phones began ringing. "Ah! Make it stop Jude!" Loren covered her ears with the pillow.

Jude climbed out of bed and hesitantly began digging through the pile of tissues looking for the phone. She felt so dirty, but from the noise Loren was making she knew she had to find it fast. It wasn't long before she found it on Loren's side of the tissue pile and realized it was Loren's phone. She looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Kwest calling. She knew it wasn't good and he probably wanted to kill Loren. She couldn't exactly blame him. Loren could have ruined his marriage and career last night by uttering four small words. She wasn't exactly angry at him or Loren anymore for cheating. Some where along the line last night her respect for Sadie had vanished and Jude knew the feeling was mutual. She still loved Sadie, but she had crossed a line that shouldn't have been crossed last night. She wasn't sure what she was.

Jude stared at the phone and decided to answer it. "Loren, what in the world were you thinking? How could you do that to me last night? I don't care where you, what kind of shape you are in, or what you are doing, you are coming to the studio right now! I had to practically sleep out on the lawn last night and I have you to thank for that. You better just be happy EJ is a hell of a publicist and this didn't get out! Georgia is freaking out and I need you to tell everyone you were drunk!" Jude waited until he was done yelling to put the phone back up to her ear. She sighed into the phone. "Loren? Don't sigh at me! Were you even listening to me?"

"This is not Loren, Kwest." She almost wanted to laugh at the noise he made. "But, um, you better watch yourself there. I think Tommy would be proud. I was just waiting for you to say I better act like it all never happened. Although, I'm pretty sure you already said that to Loren." She sat down at the end of the bed. Loren was rolling around and grunting. She hadn't realized Jude was talking to Kwest yet. "You know, you may want to work on your anger also. Is Loren supposed to be scared?"

Jude heard Kwest sigh. "This isn't funny Jude...What is that noise?" Jude looked over at Loren who was continuously making groaning noises. She could only imagine what it sounded like to Kwest. "It sounds like you have dying cats or dogs in your room! Jude, is that Loren? I know that sound, that's Loren after a hangover. Jude! Put her on the phone." Jude reached over and yanked the sheets off of the bed. Loren looked up at Jude from under her pillow. Jude began making gestures to the phone. "Come on Jude, I'm serious." Loren practically jumped up as she crawled over to Jude completely awake.

Loren grabbed the phone and pulled her knees up to her chest. Jude watched her in sympathy. She couldn't help but see herself in Loren. She was completely lost and Jude knew the feeling. They both happened to be in love with married men. "Kwest?" Jude could hear Kwest repeating most of what he had said earlier, but she couldn't help but notice how softer his voice was once he heard Loren's. "Just shut up, Kwest! Don't even worry about your precious little wife Sadie... I'll fix things." Jude could hear the hatred that oozed out of Loren's voice when she said Sadie's name. She could also see the heartbreak all over Loren. Jude knew the feeling all too well. She was curious as to how Loren planned on fixing things. She wished her situation was fixable.

"So, you never had feelings for me? You never felt anything?" Loren's voice was quickly rising with each word she spoke. "I'll come to the studio when I feel like it! I don't care about what Georgia says!" Jude could hear Loren's voice changing. She knew the flow of tears could be approaching. "Is that all you care about? I don't care! Did you ever stop to think maybe I was just trying to protect Jude! Your precious wife was crucifying her like she isn't a hypocrite!" Loren was yelling now and Jude now realized why she burst out at the party.

"Am I not good enough for you? What is it she has that I don't have?" As Loren began to cry, Jude selfishly couldn't help getting lost in her thoughts. That was an excellent question. Is she not good enough for Tommy? She pondered on why it was so easy for him to tell his feelings to Cayenne in front of a bunch of people, but he couldn't tell Jude his feelings alone. She was beginning to think he really didn't have any feelings for her. Did she care if he did? She was quickly snapped out of her thoughts once she heard what Loren had just said. She shook her head and made sure she was awake. "Kwest, I'm not pregnant. I know that I lied to you and I'm sorry, but you know why I did it." Jude shook her head again and closed her eyes. She had to be dreaming. "So, maybe I was! Maybe I am! What do you care anyway?" Loren was yelling at the top of her lungs and Jude just watched in disbelief. She was completely flabbergasted. She swore she heard them say yesterday they hadn't slept together. She felt like she'd just been run over by a lawnmower, a lawnmower with the word "sucker" written on it.

Jude reached over and grabbed the phone out of Loren's hand. She could still hear Kwest talking, but she hung the phone up anyway. "Are you kidding me? Loren! You're pregnant, what the hell? I don't understand! You told me you and Kwest never slept together! Loren this is serious. You need to tell me what's going on here!" Jude exasperatedly kept rambling on. Loren wiped her eyes and sighed. "Don't sigh at me, Loren! I don't even know what to say to you." Jude was in complete shock mode, she honestly didn't even know how to go about the situation. Loren sat back on the bed and closed her eyes. It seemed as though she wasn't listening to anything Jude was saying. Jude grabbed her shoulders unexpectedly and began shaking her lightly. "LOREN! He's my sister's husband!" Loren started crying and Jude quickly let her go realizing what she was doing. She sat down on the side of the bed and waited for Loren to compose herself.

"Everything is so messed up. I just want to be with him, that's all I ask Jude...Is just to be with him...No G Major, no singing, no paparazzi, no Sadie, no Georgia, no EJ, just me and Kwest...No drama." Loren sighed heavily and slumped further down in the bed. Jude couldn't help but notice the girl had it _baaaad_! She didn't know what it was Kwest did, but Loren was completely in love. Jude also couldn't help but think to herself about how Loren said "no drama," she was the one bringing herself drama. Jude broke her train of thought to listen to what Loren had to say. "Jude, you have to understand. You of all people should understand. You don't get to choose who you love, it just happens. We were just talking one day and I can't even remember what about. I just remember looking in his eyes and all of a sudden realizing I was in love with him, Kwest. It was the oddest thing ever, but it felt right. I don't think its fair I don't get to have that." Jude watched her with empathy, but she couldn't help but notice how she casually forgot to mention the whole pregnancy thing. Was Loren pregnant, or not?

"Loren, you haven't answered my question, are you pregnant or not?" Jude honestly couldn't take anymore. She was literally praying Loren wasn't pregnant. How could you hide something like a pregnancy? Not to mention what it would do to her and her career, Kwest, Sadie, and even little Kerilyn. She could see the sadness in Loren eyes. She reached over and put a hand on her leg. "I do understand Loren, trust me I do. This is what I was trying to tell you yesterday. I've been in your situation. Heck, you can even say I'm still in it now. Although, I'm not pregnant. Please, please, please tell me you're not pregnant." Jude looked at her with anticipation to hear her answer.

Loren opened her mouth to say something, but they were interrupted by a knock at the front door. Jude gave Loren's hand a squeeze and grabbed her robe putting it on. She honestly had no idea who it was and she was a bit annoyed someone interrupted them. She closed her robe tight and couldn't help but fix her hair a bit. She walked up to the door and began opening it slowly. Before it was even open all the way Sadie came barging in and practically knocked Jude out of the way. "Where is that skank? I knew you would be harboring that seductress. It's not like you're any better, anyway." Jude crossed her arms and looked at Sadie defiantly. She was getting annoyed quickly.

Loren came out of Jude's bedroom and she amazingly looked as though she had not been crying. "Oh I'm a seductress, am I? That's a compliment coming from the queen of sluts herself. I could bring up how you're a hypocrite, but who really wants to waste their time here... Talking about you is rather boring, if I do say so myself." She looked down at her nails as if she hadn't a care in the world. Sadie made a move towards her as if she were going to attack her. Jude intervened and put up her hand in front of Sadie. "What are you doing Jude? I can fight my own battles." Loren moved aside trying to get in Sadie's line of fire again.

"Sadie, you can't fight her, she's pregnant!" Sadie's jaw dropped and it looked as though she had been slapped across the face. She took a few steps back and it looked as though she were putting it together in her head that Kwest could be the father. She put a hand on her chest and looked up at Loren and Jude with hatred. "Don't be so dramatic, Sadie! What comes around goes around." Sadie was shocked at what Jude had said and her jaw dropped once again. She stepped all the way back onto the head of the sofa, and she leaned back against it. Loren started laughing.

"I am so not pregnant!" Jude looked over at Loren relieved. Sadie stood fully back up again and she looked like her anger was regenerating. Sadie made a move for Loren but Jude pushed her back. "You are so lucky Jude is pushing you back right now! A beat down for you has been long and coming! It's not my fault your husband likes me!" Jude turned to look at Loren with a threatening glance. She was mad at Sadie, but she still wasn't going to let her get beat down by Loren. "Sadie, you don't even have a right to be mad here! You did it first! You're a hypocrite, you cheated with Chaz! And don't give me that crap about how you two were drunk and you didn't sleep with him. That's a bunch of bull and we all know it." Sadie made a jerk forward and Jude pushed her back by the arms again. "That's probably the main reason you're so mad! It doesn't feel good when something comes back around to you, does it? It hasn't come around for you but..." It seemed as though she paused and thought about what she was saying. "You were never right for him! That's why I can give him what you never could!" Loren began to get very emotional and both Sadie and Jude stopped moving to watch her. "I know things about him you never will. Do you even know his favorite color? We have a connection that only artist and producer can have. A connection you'll never feel. Our relationship is so strong that we didn't even have to rely on sex to be so intertwined!" Loren stopped talking and recollected her breath while looking to the ground. Sadie crossed her arms and looked around confused and a bit distraught. "That's right Sadie, I lied. Your precious husband never had sex with me. I came on to him and he pushed me away." Loren looked up and Jude could see the achingly heart broken expression on her face. She was lying through her teeth and Jude knew it. She knew Kwest and Loren never slept together, but they still had a relationship.

They were interrupted yet again as Kwest walked into the living room. Jude had mistakenly left the front door wide open as Sadie had barged in. Jude figured when Loren had "hung up" on him he charged over here as fast as he could to drag her to the studio. She could tell he probably wasn't expecting what he had stepped into. Sadie looked over at him accusingly. "Why are you here? Did you know Loren was here?" Kwest quickly began to issue out his denials and then Sadie looked back over at Loren. "How long have you been here? Is what that skank saying over there true? She's just obsessed with you and never slept with you?" Jude could see the disgusting hatred all over Sadie's face every time she looked over at Loren. It made Jude sick who Sadie had become after hanging around Cayenne. She wasn't a reasonable person anymore. It made Jude sick that she talked to her cheating husband with more respect than to her own sister. She was just making Jude sick.

Jude wasn't surprised when Kwest had gone with the story Loren had comprised. Jude just couldn't wait until Sadie left so she could pick up the pieces that were left of Loren. She had no idea why she decided to save Kwest like that. Jude hoped it was a sign of Loren growing up and finally giving up Kwest. Sadie had tried to beat up Loren a little more for "being obsessed with her man," but Kwest held her back and calmed her down. He spoke to her lovingly and let her know she was the only one for him, in front of Loren. Jude's heart broke with hers. At that moment she knew she hated men, all men. It was proven to her none of them are good. If they weren't so damn hot she would rid the world of them herself. Sadie got a call from the studio and with a last threat towards Loren and remark towards Jude, the witch left. Jude never thought her enemy would be her own sister. Maybe Sadie was showing her true colors. She and Cayenne deserve each other. Kwest walked Sadie to her car and acted as though he was going to leave, but when she pulled off, he came back to the apartment. Jude watched in anger as he dried Loren's tears and "thanked" her for not ruining his marriage. Jude wanted to castrate him for breaking her bestfriend. Jude kicked him out and let him know Loren would not be going to the studio today.

Loren was always there for Jude and she knew it was time she is there for her. Jude pulled out the ice cream as Loren lounged on the couch. She hadn't said anything since Kwest left. Their day had started off with one heck of a morning and Jude just hoped it wouldn't get any worse. She put the ice cream in front of the numb Loren and wrapped an arm around her. "You're going to make it through, you're strong. You're stronger than I ever was and am. You don't need him. You deserve so much better, trust me." Jude practically jumped up and enthusiastically clapped her hands together. "Today will be a you and me day. No Tommy, no Kwest, no icky Sadie or Cayenne, no G Major, no press, no anything! Let's forget about our dramatic problems." It was easier said than done when Jude's phone began to ring at the end of her enthusiastic speech. Tommy's face mockingly flashed on the screen. She almost fell off the couch. She looked up at Loren apologetically. Tommy always had that hold on her. She achingly wanted to answer the call. She was curious has to why he was calling her in the first place. He had made his choice when he ran after Cayenne last night. Besides, she had made her choice long before that. At least she thought she had, but she couldn't seem to shake Quincy from her mind...Even when she was delivering her enthusiastic speech. He was always in the back of her head.

Jude reluctantly got up and moved across the room. She hesitantly hit answer and placed the phone to her ear. Before he could even say anything she decided it was her chance to talk. "Tommy, this better be good! I just had to see my bestfriend's heart ripped out, and if I wanted mine out too I would be the one calling you." She could hear a heavy sigh on the other line and it almost sounded sad. She wondered if he finally realized what he has been doing to her. He's had so many excuses in the past, but they were never enough. She never felt as though he actually felt _her_! He seemed to truly feel the pain she did every time he would let her down. She realized all men eventually would let her down after what she witnessed with Kwest. It was amazing how her enthusiastically planned day went crashing down as soon as _he_ called.

"Jude, I'm calling about Loren. It's getting chaotic over here. Apparently the press knows something went down and didn't go down at your party last night. They just haven't gotten the details yet. I've never seen EJ work so hard and Georgia so mad. " The tone in his voice shocked her, he actually sounded worn out. She knew it was crazy at G Major, but she didn't think it was that bad. She heard his voice go lower and it was almost that sad tone again. "And, Georgia's angry because she thinks she's losing all of her artist. You know, with producers like me and Kwest..." He trailed off and it was something about the way he sounded that actually worried her. She wondered if it had something to do with Cayenne and what happened after he chased her last night.

"Fine, I'm on my way. Loren can't come, but I can come and try and fix things. Besides, I have some news for Georgia that may make her happy." Jude knew she had Tommy's interest level peaked and they quickly hung up. She took her time getting ready...She wanted to look good for _particular reasons_. She made sure Loren was eating ice cream and comfortable in front of the T.V. and headed out. The commute to the studio turned out smoother than she thought it would. The paparazzi were all over her ass after the _affair_ with Tommy came out. She managed to smooth by them easily this time. She wasn't exactly sure about how she was going to approach the situation, but it was Tommy who kept her mind occupied. It was always Tommy; she didn't know what she would do once she arrived... Avoiding him like the plague was her best plan.

It all seemed to go by in a flash and Jude was once again in the familiar environment of G Major. She had to admit she actually missed the smell and excitement of it all. Although, her last moments in G Major were anything but pleasant. Everything seemed a lot busier than she remembered it, and no one even seemed to notice her. She thought about how they really need to get some security, seeing as anyway one could just walk in. It was if she were walking down memory lane glancing at a fish tank that resembled the one she knocked into with Loren, which seemed a century ago. She didn't know exactly where to go because when she stopped by the conference room in was no longer full. She bit her bottom lip and looked around at the different studios. She knew she better move fast before she got knocked over by the bustling movement of people around her.

Jude didn't know exactly who she was looking for anymore. She came with the intention of finding Georgia, but now a deep part of her almost wanted to run into Tommy. She actually didn't want to see Kwest, she felt like hurting him all over again and it would not end up good. Jude turned a corner and she felt as though she kept running into dead ends that only lead to more studios. She didn't remember G Major having so many studios before, but she knew it made sense since it was doing so well. Jude tried stopping one of the interns to ask where Georgia might be, but they miraculously continued to just buzz on by ignoring her. She began to grow frustrated until she caught someone from the corner of her eye, Kwest.

It was almost funny to her because she felt as though she just saw him only two seconds ago, yet there he was heading her way. Jude knew she could just approach him and ask him where Georgia was, but it wasn't that simple. It wasn't like it was before; it will never be like it was before. She couldn't even look at Kwest the same. He was a cheater, he broke her bestfriend's heart and she would never forgive him for that. She knew the best thing she could do for herself and Kwest's health was to dodge into the nearest hiding place she could find. It was an all too familiar feeling that led back to the days when she would dodge away from Tommy. Jude quickly and silently fumbled with the door of the nearest studio. She was halfway in when she realized she would have rather taken a chance with her temper. Beating Kwest senseless would have been a hell of a lot better than what she had the chance of witnessing.

You know, Georgia should really invest in some signs that read, _Do Not Disturb!_ loud and clear. It would make walking into G Major a lot more pleasurable for a lot of people. Jude had a lot of thoughts running through her mind as she took it what she was seeing and hearing. It was almost a G Major rule that you leave with more information than you came in with. It was becoming quite the habit for Jude to run into things that just didn't appeal to her pleasure, in the least bit. You're probably thinking she walked in on someone having sex, and you probably think that someone is Tommy. Maybe Jude would have actually been happier to walk in on that than what she did walk in on. She wasn't interrupting, no; they didn't even notice anyone in the doorway. To anyone else it would have been a touching sight, but not if you're in love with the man in front of you.

Tommy had his forehead against Cayenne's and both of her hands resting in his. The sight made Jude sick since it resembled the position she and Tommy were in on her sixteenth birthday when he was telling they had to pretend the kiss never happened. However, their position was much more romantic and loving. Tommy was on one knee with his face upwards towards her, it didn't even take any words to let anyone know how in love they were with each other. She could hear Cayenne sigh and Jude could tell she had been crying, but by the looks of it she had forgiven Tommy. Cayenne pulled back her head from the little touching scene and sat up straight. Tommy opened his eyes and looked up at her. She squeezed his hands and looked down at him. "I came into this marriage knowing I wasn't good enough for you, that you didn't love me as much as you should, but I hoped...I hoped that one day I could be good enough for you...That I could have your whole heart, but I'm not so sure anymore. A few days ago I wanted to give you children, and now I just want you to love me. I want you to love me so bad it hurts sometimes." Cayenne gave Tommy's hands another tight squeeze and she bought one up to his cheek. She gently brushed it then let it fall back down on top of his.

Tommy was quiet for a moment as though gathering his thoughts and he finally spoke. Jude was interested herself to hear what he had to say for himself. She was as heartbroken as Cayenne. Tommy managed to break two hearts and maybe more. How did Jude know she was the only girl he cheated with? The more she began to hate him the more she began to question the type of person he was. A part of her wanted to charge all the way into the room and let Cayenne know she could do better, much better. She could be with a man who loved her, and Jude began to question why couldn't she do the same? "Cayenne, I do love you, trust me I do. I love you with all of my heart, but it's hard sometimes. It's hard for me...It's hard for me to show you, show you my true feelings. Sometimes I have something so good that I screw it up on purpose, subconsciously. I've hurt so many people, so many women that sometimes I feel like I don't deserve happiness. I don't deserve you."

He was so sincere that it broke Jude's heart, he loved this woman. Cayenne was it for him; he had found the woman for him. What had Jude done? She taunted him and provoked him into sleeping with her. She forced him into cheating on the only woman in Jude's mind he ever seemed to love. It almost hit Jude like a ton of bricks; every thing Sadie had said last night was true. She was a horrible person. Jude looked over and noticed Tommy was leaning up and he and Cayenne were in an embrace, she must have missed something, but it looked like she just walked in on the end of the conversation. The two lovebirds were back on and they seemed more in love than ever. Cayenne wasn't the overconfident bimbo Jude had made her out to be, she was vulnerable and soft when it came to Tommy just like Jude. She and Cayenne were more alike than Jude ever imagined. But, she still didn't like Cayenne.

They hugged for what seemed like an eternity, but eventually finally broke away. Tommy reached down and grabbed Cayenne's left hand he pulled out her wedding band out of thin air it seemed, and delicately placed it back on her ring finger. Cayenne plastered on a smile and she and Tommy quickly kissed, it wasn't passionate just a quick peck like two teenagers both experiencing kissing for the first time. Tommy never kissed Jude like that, Jude could remember and taste every last one of his kisses, but the memories would only bring pain now. Someone grabbed Jude's arm from outside of the room and she quickly and quietly hightailed out before they noticed her. The person let Jude go and she looked up realizing a familiar face. It was good to see Georgia. She was even happier when Georgia didn't question her on what she was doing halfway inside one of the studios. Although, Jude did wonder if Georgia knew her producers were picking up their marriages instead of working.

She and Georgia had a brief conversation about Loren's state that Jude didn't really have her heart in. When she finally told Georgia about wanting to be resigned to G Major, Georgia scooped her up into a big hug and Jude noticed Cayenne walking out of the studio. Tommy stood in the doorway and he froze when he noticed Jude. They started at each other and Jude didn't try to cover up her pain. She didn't care about it anymore, she didn't care about him anymore, or so she told herself. Georgia pulled back and started gushing loudly about how Jude would once again climb the charts becoming the biggest star at G Major. Jude was not happy; she did not want Tommy to find out so soon. Georgia mumbled on about the contracts and Jude, in a daze, replied quickly about signing and doing all of that stuff later. She suddenly couldn't be there. She could feel Tommy watching her and it was making her sick. Didn't he have work to do?

Georgia finally let her go and Jude just stood there for a moment, she didn't know exactly what it was she wanted to do. Why wouldn't he stop looking at her? He just stood in that studio doorway staring at her the whole time. She almost felt like she couldn't breathe. She quickly began heading her way towards the back doors to the driveway, but it involved walking by that very doorway Tommy was standing in. When she tried to make her quick escape to the doors she was met with a big surprise when Tommy grabbed her arm pulling her into the empty studio with him. She suddenly felt dirty like some cheap whore he thought he could easily pull back in. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She had stumbled in the room and he shut the door behind him.

"Jude, we need to talk." Tommy looked at her completely serious and Jude smacked him. She smacked him with everything that she had and it actually made him jerk his head and step back. She took deep breaths and it felt good. She felt good inflicting some type of pain on Tommy. He recovered quicker than she thought he would. He didn't even bring a hand up to his face. "I deserve that, I know." He gave her a sad expression and her anger began to take a plunge. He always did this to her. "Girl, I'm confused." Jude looked at him with a shocked expression. What in the world? She was confused and she wasn't sure who she was looking at anymore. He looked so vulnerable and she was just confused. It was just minutes ago he was professing his love for his wife. She was the only woman for him, so what the hell was he talking about? There was nothing for him to be confused about. All he did was confuse her.

"What in the world is your problem, Tommy? You're not the confused one, I am! All you do is confuse me every time you open up your mouth I get confused all over again. What do you have to be confused about? You have nothing to be confused about! You have a wife that loves you and you love her back. There is nothing else to it. I just heard and saw you profess your love to her, Tommy!" Tommy gave her a shocked, pained expression. She knew he was shocked she had heard and seen their little scene. Was it that he didn't want her to have seen it because it's like she is being cheated on as well. As confusing as that sounded she felt cheated on every time she thought about him and Cayenne and it wasn't right. Every thing about her and Tommy wasn't right. She didn't know what he looked pained about? Why was he upset she was the on hurting here.

"Jude, I wanted to talk about you resigning with G Major." To say she felt stupid was saying the least, she was embarrassed that she had jumped to the conclusion that he had wanted to talk about their relationship. But, she also felt a bit angry. If he really wanted to talk about G Major then what was he confused about?

"Tommy, what are you talking about? If you want to talk about G Major then why did you say you were confused after I slapped you? Ah! I'm just so confused myself! You always do this to me. All you do is confuse me, and I hate you for it. Why did you have to pull me in here all secretive?" Jude was a little all over the place and Tommy wasn't helping things. They were both all over the place and it didn't make for a good combination.

"Jude, you don't want me." Jude looked up at him in shock, she never expected him to say that. It was what she tried telling him yesterday, but he never seemed to get it. He didn't get it because it was never true. He was all she ever wanted. The way he said it even shocked her, almost as if he were letting her go, like he finally got it. She didn't want him, but she did! Did she want him? "I moved on because you didn't want me, you don't want me." Jude could have slapped him again. She did want him when he married Cayenne! He didn't know what she wanted.

"How dare you say that to me? You didn't know what I wanted when you married Cayenne! You broke my heart, Tommy. You just moved on like it was nothing. You didn't even try with me! We were both single then! You never try with me. You can't even tell me you love me, but you sure can tell Cayenne you love her." Jude was furious, but even more she was upset. She was actually upset he was following her wishes and giving her up, maybe she did forgive him after all.

"Jude, you spend more time telling me you hate me and never want to see me than that you love me! It's not all on me here! When I want to have something with you Jude, you don't want it. When I married Cayenne, I don't know. I thought that maybe I would stop thinking about you. I think about you all of the time, Jude. You're all I think about! You don't know how many times I want to just want to reach out and kiss you, but I can't. I can't because _I'm_ always screwing up or can't express my feelings like you need. So, maybe this is all just for the best. I'll learn to love Cayenne, and you'll move on." Jude was so confused; she didn't know where in the world he came up with this realization. He just made her not know what she wanted.

"So, you're trying to tell me the reason we're not together is because of me?" She looked at him flabbergasted. It was not her fault! It was his fault for always being so complicated. He was the one that never wanted her. She only wanted him to express his feelings because she never felt like he wanted her. He seemed to only want her when she was in a relationship. "You never told me that you think about me or that you want to kiss me when I'm single. No, you always had your reasons as to why we couldn't be together. You left me Tommy! Remember that, you took it and left!" Jude was beginning to get emotional and Tommy moved towards her. She stepped back. She wasn't sure if this conversation was going any where. It was just upsetting her more. He was making her feel like it was her fault she was in all this pain. She was also confused, he was giving her a headache and she didn't need that, not today. She started to head to the door but he said something that completely stopped her in her tracks.

"I was looking at you during the wedding. Maybe…" It was hard for him to let his feelings out. She turned around. "I was maybe even pretending I was marrying you." He gave her a sideways glance and she just got angry.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? Are you kidding me? You were marrying another woman thinking of me! Do you even hear yourself? That's ridiculous, Tommy! You're crazy! If you cared about me so much you wouldn't have been marrying her in the first place! Gah! You just make no sense!" Tommy reached out and grabbed her arms, she pulled back. "Don't touch me; I don't even know what I ever saw in you! You're crazy!" She threw her arms in the air for the dramatic effect.

"Jude, do you think if I wasn't married we would be together? We still wouldn't be together! I'm realizing that now and it's not all my fault!" Jude slapped him on the other cheek this time. Who was he to put this all on her? It sounded like he was blaming her for getting angry all those times she did. They would have been together a looong time ago if he would have never left back when she was sixteen. She almost felt insulted, just yesterday she was all he needed. What changed? Was this his excuse to go be with Cayenne without seeming like a bastard towards Jude? Just blame it all on her!

"I was so right yesterday! You got what you wanted so now you are done with me. All of a sudden it's my entire fault we can't be together. All of a sudden you're having an epiphany that's time to let me go. Oh, I get it; yesterday you realized you wouldn't be getting any from me anymore so, you're just going to stick with Cayenne. You know, you told her you loved her with all of your heart. You never said that to me, so that's why we wouldn't be together. You don't love me, you never did, and that's why, okay?" Jude bit her bottom lip and fought back tears.

Tommy rubbed a hand down her right arm until he got to her hand. He grabbed it and she let him. "Jude, you don't get what I'm trying to say! I want you in my life! I need you in my life; I'm just not going to push for a relationship anymore. I'm obviously married, and you obviously don't want me. Isn't this what you wanted? You wanted me to stop pursuing you!" He squeezed her hand.

Jude squeezed his hand back weakly in response. "Tommy, all I ever wanted was for you to love me, but you never did that. That's why we wouldn't be together even if you weren't married and for that…It is your fault. No one can change that." She was getting tired of fighting the tears and tired of this confusing conversation.

"Jude, you never knew what I felt…You don't know what I feel for you." He reached up and grabbed her other hand. It seemed as if he were getting frustrated with her. But, she was getting frustrated with this conversation.

"You never tell me, Tommy! I can't read your mind!" For a moment they just stared at each other and Jude made her decision. She snatched her hands out of his grasp and this time really went for the door. Tommy grabbed her by her shoulder whisking her around in one quick motion and next thing she knew he was kissing her. It felt so good to be kissing him, she could feel the passion in his kiss, but she didn't feel the passion when they talked. Remembering he was married she pulled him off of her. "Cayenne is perfect for you! I hope you two our happy." Jude headed for the door again, but was once again stopped by Tommy's words this time.

"Do you want me to tell you how I feel about you, Jude? You mean every thing to me. You're the one person in this world I can't live without. I thank God everyday to have been blessed with someone like you in my life. Even when you stand here bitching at me or telling me like it is I don't lo…I don't want you any less. You are the sun that wakes me up in the morning and the moon that gives me that bit of light at night. I will never ever feel that about Cayenne, but I was backed into a corner when I married her and now I have no choice but to let you hate me. I can't keep trying to be with you, if you tell me you don't want me!" He looked very frustrated now and Jude almost got it. He was letting her go because she said she didn't want him, but she did want him! Did she? The confusion in both of their minds is too much for anyone to handle.

Jude leaned over and kissed him passionately. At that moment she didn't care that he was married, she didn't care that she wasn't sure what just happened. She didn't care that they were in G Major. She didn't care about what she had walked in on earlier. All she cared about was her and Tommy right then and there. He kissed her back with fever and they didn't think about their problems. It was nothing like Tommy had ever kissed her before, this kiss felt different, it felt more special. She knew at that moment no matter how much she said she hated him…No matter how much she said she was done with him…No matter how married he was…They would always go back to each other. It was just a hold they both had on each other. Tommy pulled away from the kiss and placed his lips near her ear. He whispered to her, "We can make this work if you want to. I never wanted to let you go. I don't want to let you go." He kissed her again.

As much as Jude did want to let it go, she couldn't. He was married only a divorce would change that. She would never ask him to get a divorce. That was something she wanted him to decide all by himself. By the sounds of things it didn't sound like he planned on getting a divorce. But the question was did she really, really, really care? She pulled away from the kiss and whispered this time up to his ear, "Let's go to your place." Yeah, you heard right. She knew Cayenne was working and wouldn't be home. She knew they would be doing the deed in Cayenne, his wife's very own house. Jude was cutting the bullcrap; did she honestly care about how Cayenne felt? No, all she wanted was Tommy. Or, at least at the time she did. They left, they went to his apartment and she didn't stop to think about it. Did it make her a bad person?

Yes? No? Maybe? So?

They both seemed to undeniably want the other when one of them would make a decision to move on. Maybe Jude just didn't care anymore. Was Tommy any better?

Maybe she was more like Loren than she thought.

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****So, that's it. I'm not going to say I hope the wait was worth it, I know it wasn't I honestly don't know what to do with my writing anymore. It isn't getting any better. I would edit this chapter if I wanted to read it again. I don't… I don't know.**

**Review if you want, I don't deserve the reviews. I'm sorry to anybody I may have let down with this chapter or with the waiting.**

**-Ruby**

**I love you Cayenne!!**


	23. The Life Of The After Party

**Hey guys, want to read a great Instant Star story? I can hear the enthusiastic "yes" all the way through the computer! If that gets you excited, how about two great Instant Star stories? You think it's too good to be true, don't you? They're can't be two amazing Instant Star stories out there. Well, guess what, there is. CONSEQUENCES and WILTED by NOTACONTRIVANCE will really get your heart rate going. She really is an amazing author and person. She'll have you wanting more by the first sentence. She's really that good. If you like this story…Well, her stories are like a trillion times better. You won't even just want to read the Instant Star stuff; you'll venture off into her other stories because her writing style is just that good. I don't get this excited about people or stories, but every author's notes you see me excited about her. I mean, you really have to see it for yourself. My story may be fictional, but everything I say here is not. Check her out, you won't be disappointed…Best thing I ever did do. **

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****A week after the last chapter…**

Chapter Twenty-Three- _**The After Life Of The Party**_

A distant ringing was slowly heard in the background as Jude let out a small groan. She opened one eye and quickly closed it after a taste of the sunlight. Once her mind got rid of the fogginess, she realized the distant ringing was her cell phone. She quickly sat up in bed and reached for it on her headstand. She made a quick glance around the room. It looked like a fight had gone on and it kind of had. She had finally rid herself of Tommy, or at least on her part. The whole night was kind of a blur and thinking about it gave her a headache. She didn't bother to look at the caller ID. "Hello." Her eyes were slightly closing again as the person took their time to answer her. "HELLO?" She was getting a bit annoyed that somebody called just to not say anything. Jude's eyes quickly shot open and she inhaled silently when the person spoke.

"Jude, did you forget about our lunch date? Its noon and you're not at the restaurant. It's completely fine if you did. We can reschedule." She gripped the top of the blankets and her head shot to the clock on the nightstand. He was telling the truth she slept all the way until noon. She had been completely unconnected from the world for what seemed like the whole week. Her only thoughts have been of Tommy that she didn't even stop to think about what other plans she had made. She had been blowing things off for a married man. "Jude, are you still there?" Jude snapped out of her thoughts and tried to think of the best possible thing she could tell him.

"No, no, I didn't forget! I've just been…" She ran her free hand through her hair and looked around the room desperately. "I've just been taking forever getting ready. How about we forget the restaurant and you just come over here?" He seemed to like that idea and she suddenly felt guilty. Was she leading him on? He said he just wanted to be friends, did she? She realized she didn't know how she felt. But, a part of her desperately wanted to see him. It was strange she only got that feeling when she wanted to see Tommy. He was about to hang up but she said something quickly. "Lucas, I'm really looking forward to seeing you." She sighed; she wasn't sure what she was getting herself into. She knew that she was crazy for even inviting him over, but there was something different about him, and she was crazy for liking it.

Jude frantically ran from the bathroom, to her room, and then to her closet. She was throwing clothes around trying to get dressed as fast as possible. She knew he was different, but she wasn't sure if he still drove fast. She really had no idea how fast he could get to her apartment. The closer she got to being ready the more sick she felt. She began to question what she was doing talking to him on the phone. Why was she even being nice to him? She paused for a moment as she slipped her jeans on, had she lost it? She had one leg in her jeans when she heard a knock at the door. She almost stumbled over as she slipped the jeans all the way on and slipped on some shoes quickly. She ran a hand through her hair and hoped for the best. Why did she care so much about how she looked anyway? This was just a friendly meeting, a little part of her was almost anxious to start a friendship for some unknown reason.

She unconsciously shuddered at the thought of him having to see her with out makeup; she made her way for the door. When she opened the door she felt as though her stomach got caught up in her throat. He looked better, so much better than the last time she saw him. He looked more relaxed and not so broken, almost like his old self with out the arrogance. His eyes were absolutely captivating, more so than they used to be and for a moment, she got lost in them completely. He tilted his head to the side and smiled, his eyes were instantly filled with warmth and she knew she was looking at a completely different person. She quickly looked him up and down to survey his whole appearance. It didn't look like he thought about it too hard, and it was a very casual outfit compared to how he used to be. He was wearing regular blue jeans, and a black hoodie over what appeared to be a t-shirt. It seemed like a simple outfit, but they way he looked in it was inexpressible. His hair had an attractively untidy look, completely different from the look of extreme care it used to have. He was always attractive, but looking at him now was looking at an attractive man, not boy.

Lucas coughed and Jude practically closed her mouth. She opened the door wide and smiled. He laughed a little and made his way into the apartment. He walked towards the middle and stopped, turning towards her. She shut and locked the door, quickly turning toward him nervously. "I thought we could just sit and really catch up. Our phone calls aren't the same in person." It had been a week since Lucas first called her. It seemed like he always had the perfect timing. Their first phone call was awkward, and Jude was still a bit scared talking to him. Hearing his sweet and sincere tone on the other line made her warm up to actually talking. The first two nights he did all the talking and she only listened. He basically described to her what it was like to go through therapy, rehab, and anger management. She liked how honest he was about everything. He didn't leave out the bad details, he was straight with her. He even went as far as telling her about how he had wanted to kill her the first nights he had spent without her. She would have been scared if he honestly did not sound changed.

Last night was the night she suggested they have lunch. It was the most touching of their conversations. He had described watching his father die of a heart attack. He would have been ok if it weren't for the cardiac arrest, which caused sudden cardiac death. He described to her how he felt as he held his father's hand, and even at the fact that he felt more relieved than upset. He was completely open with her and it was refreshing. The only problem was she wasn't sure where to move from there. They had amazing phone conversations, but seeing him in person made her feel something different. She wasn't sure what it was, she just didn't know if she could be normal around him.

Lucas cleared his throat and Jude snapped out of thought. She realized he was already sitting down on her couch. He flashed her a smile that almost made her melt. "Your apartment looks different from the last time I saw it." Jude quickly looked around and noticed that it had changed quite a bit. Most of the change came from the fact that Loren practically lived in her apartment now. The thought of Loren walking in on Jude and Lucas talking, was a frightening thought. She made her way over to the couch across from him and took a seat. "Loren's been practically living here; she likes to add her touch to everything." She noticed Lucas stiffen at the mention of Loren's name. She didn't blame him. Loren had literally spit in his face the last time he tried to talk to her…From what Jude remembered. Jude began becoming a bit more relaxed and sat back. "I'm really sorry about lunch. I honestly overslept and then was trying to get ready quickly. I should have called. I hope I didn't have you waiting for a long time." She brushed a piece of hair out of her face.

Lucas shrugged, "no big deal. You only had me waiting like an hour," he laughed and Jude cringed. He laughed again. "It's okay, really. I'll be honest and tell you I snuck some food while I waited." He smiled at Jude again and she practically melted into the couch. She was trying to figure out how in the world he was so attractive. Lucas stopped smiling and gave her a slightly serious look. "You look different. It's a good different, but different nonetheless." Jude smiled back embarrassed, she looked a mess. "I missed you. After I got done my treatment you were the first person I thought about. I couldn't erase the memories of how horrible I was to you." Jude stopped smiling and crossed her arms. The memories had flown from her head, until he began to resurface them now. "I know the things I did were horrible and if I could take them all back I would. I need you to know I was a different person back then. I've changed, Jude. I promise you that." Jude could see the sincerity in his eyes and she softened. From everything he had told her on the phone she knew he was a different man. Getting treatment and staying out of the spotlight really had changed him, just as much as being out of the spotlight changed Jude.

Jude got up and walked over to his side and sat down. He turned towards her and she grabbed one of his hands. Jude was compelled to look into his haunting eyes and hold his hand. He looked at her with a certain vulnerability awaiting her response. Jude was in a trance and she spoke lightly. "I know you're a different man. You don't even have to tell me that. I can see it in your eyes, Lucas." She put her other hand on top of his and smiled. Lucas leaned in and was about to kiss her. Jude abruptly turned her face away and he kissed her cheek. She slowly pulled back her hands. "I'm sorry! I'm not sure about this. Lucas, what are we even doing?" Jude seemed to come out of her trance and she held her hands up, avoiding his gaze. "I can't do this. I can't be in a relationship with you again." She stood up and he did the same. He had an intense look on his face.

"I love you, Jude! I never stopped loving you. I may have been mentally unstable, but the only thing sane about me was my love for you. That was real! It is real! I came back here for you, Jude. I knew I had to give you those lyrics. I love you so much; I wasn't going to try to get back in your life, if you didn't want me to. But, you're the one who told me to stay! You're the one who pretty much suggested lunch! I've told you everything about me. I've been straight with you. You can't honestly say you don't me… I love you, I really do, but I can't do the friend thing with you! I realized it here and now. When I'm around you I just want to kiss you. You're beautiful, and I know you've been told that a million times... But, I just can't help myself! The thought of your beautiful face is what got me through my treatment. The thought of just touching it…" Lucas reached up a hand and stroked the side of Jude's face. She couldn't help but lean into his touch. She closed her eyes slightly and he put his free hand up to the other side of her face. Before she could think, he crashed his lips passionately down onto hers. He quickly brought one hand down to her waist and he slid it around to her back. Jude didn't exactly kiss him back; amazingly her mind had sort of drifted to Tommy. He stroked her face with his other hand, until he slid that one around her back as well. He continued kissing her as he was practically hugging her now. Jude had her hands loosely around his neck. She was completely in another universe.

Lucas backed into the couch and they ended up collapsing on it. Jude was on top and she quickly broke away from the kiss. Lucas' hand trailed her waistline and it craved the sensation of the skin it was touching. One hand trailed up her shirt and it rubbed against the bare skin of her back. She stiffened and gently pulled his hand out of her shirt subconsciously. She looked at him again. He was beautiful; there was no doubt about it. It was like after his change he had become even more attractive. She stroked his cheek with the back of her hand, and once again, subconsciously _forced_ a smile. He put one hand up to her face and stroked her lips with his thumb. For once in her life Jude had no thoughts of the consequences. She didn't think about what she was getting herself into. Lucas was the first and only guy who could take her mind off Tommy. _It was easy to make herself believe Lucas kept her mind off Tommy._ She reveled in the fact that she actually did succeed in changing Lucas. Here he was right under her now and he could have any woman he wanted. But, he wanted Jude, he always wanted Jude. She laid her head down on his chest. He stroked a hand through her hair. She literally let all thoughts fly from her head. He had relaxed her into not thinking about her problems. The only thought that came to her head was that when she was with Tommy, all she could think about were her problems.

Just as Jude let herself believe everything was alright, Loren came bustling in to the apartment. She dropped the bag in her hand. Jude quickly picked herself off of Lucas and stared at Loren. This was exactly what she feared would happen. Loren had been through a lot lately and she didn't know how she would react to this. "What the hell are you doing on top of Lucas? What the hell is he doing here? Why the hell is his hair black?" Jude looked at the now sitting Lucas and noticed for the first time he had dark hair now. He was no longer a blonde. In her own world earlier she didn't even bother to notice. Maybe that was what made him so attractive, he kind of reminded her of Tommy. She felt pathetic. She was thinking of Tommy even subconsciously now. All those thoughts of not thinking about him were still thoughts of him. No matter how hard she tried he was always there, an invisible presence that had a hold on her. She looked at Loren and noticed her hair was once again blonde. She had no idea why in the world Loren would dye it back. She looked so much like her old self again. Jude was sure any second now Loren would break into a cheesy pop song.

"Why the hell are you blonde again, Loren? Does this have something to do with what happened with you and Kwest?" As Jude thought about it, it donned on her. Loren looked so much like Sadie again. Was this some type of ploy to get him away from Sadie? Did she think looking like her would do the trick? This was low even for Loren.

Loren didn't answer. She marched over to Jude and grabbed both of her arms yanking her up. She pulled Jude into her bedroom and shut the door. "Jude, are you sick? Did I really see what I think I saw? You can't be back together with Lucas. This is so wrong on so many levels. He was horrible to you. He was horrible to everyone. Jude, he hit you. He played games with your mind. Do you really want to go through that again? I know he's attractive, but he's no charmer. He doesn't understand anybody but himself. You have to know these things, Jude. What he did to you affected you for years! How can you even look at him? Jude, I can't deal with this! I swear I can't." Loren looked at her with a mad expression and Jude amazingly wasn't even there. She was barely listening to anything Loren was saying. For some reason her mind had drifted back to Tommy, but then it always did that. Even when she could swear she wasn't thinking about him, she always was.

"I need him to make Tom jealous." It was an easy lie that could get Loren off her back. She honestly didn't know what compelled her to say it. She wasn't really trying to use Lucas to make Tommy jealous. If she was using him it was to make herself forget about Tommy. However, that was proving impossible. She could never truly forget about him. Anyway, she knew it would make Tommy jealous when he found out. What would he find out exactly? She wasn't really sure herself. She needed to talk to Lucas and find out where they stood. It looked as though they were a couple once again. If she had listened to what Loren said she might have been looking at this rationally. She really didn't think about the fact that Tommy would probably want to kill Lucas. She, also, didn't think about how he would look at her. Honestly though, she didn't even know what she was with Tommy. She liked to convince herself things were done with Tommy, but they had already cheated, more than once. She considered herself the other woman, a harlot, a slut, a skank, a whore, a trulip…You name it. Any thing that she did now couldn't be looked down upon as much. Well, at least that's how her crazy mind rationalized it. The years of late night drinking with Loren really seemed to show at times like these.

"Jude, that's pretty stupid. Tommy isn't going to get jealous. He's going to kill Lucas and look at you differently! Can't you see this has got to be the worst thought out plan ever? When did you even become a schemer like this? Lucas is scum, but even scum doesn't deserve to be used!" Even blonde Loren was still herself. This was who she was. She wasn't that person she pretended to be. She was damaged and she handled her problems the wrong way. Here she was now, being the voice of reason for Jude. However, Jude was completely lost by this point. She wasn't listening to reason. She needed an escape from Tommy, and Lucas was that escape. Tommy ruined all of her relationships, but her relationship with Lucas was the only one he didn't ruin. She didn't stop to think about why it was ruined. She didn't stop to remember they way he touched her that horrid night. She didn't stop to think about how she couldn't remember even if she wanted to, she had blocked it out. She got up and made her way for the door.

Loren got up and jumped in front of the only way out. "I'm planning on murdering Sadie." Jude finally snapped out of her trance and looked at Loren with a crazed expression. She wasn't sure if Loren was joking, or more insane than her. It could be true. Maybe Loren only changed her hair color to throw off police. Jude hadn't seen her much during the past week and when she did, Loren seemed distant. Jude wasn't exactly sure how to react to that. How do you really stop someone from killing someone else? She couldn't call the police on Loren.

"Loren, you're joking right? You did not just tell me you're going to murder my sister! Loren, stop and smell the flowers here. Kwest doesn't want you! Speed didn't really want you! Stop going after other girls' men. It doesn't work out good for you in the end." Her confusion turned into anger. Her headache was bothering her and she became cranky. She was a lot meaner to Loren than she meant to be. Loren's eyes turned cold and she didn't say anything to Jude. She turned on her heels and walked out of the room. Jude sighed and went after her. "Loren, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!" Lucas stood and turned to look at the ladies. Loren was approaching the front door. She picked up the bag she dropped upon entrance.

Loren picked up her bag and turned. "You know. I could just leave right now and become a bitch again. I know what you were thinking when you saw the blonde hair. You assumed it was for Kwest. Were you thinking it was so that I could look like Sadie and steal him away? I didn't know you thought so low of me. Then back in the bedroom, you actually think I would kill for a man. This whole event has been pretty enlightening here for me. The only person I have in the world thinks I'm an obsessed homewrecker. I could turn my back and leave right now. I was going to. I should turn my back and leave right now. But then that would make me more like you, Jude. You seem to be having flashbacks of the past recently. Well, do you remember running every time you smelled trouble? I don't want to run from my problems. What happened when you were sixteen, Jude? No one talks about it, but Tommy ran from a little problem, didn't he? I don't want to be Tommy. And I sure as hell don't want to be Lucas. So, you know what? You're my bestfriend, my sister, and I'm not leaving… Get the hell out!" Jude looked up and noticed Loren was motioning for Lucas to leave. "I don't care if she kissed you back. I don't care if she's having your kid. Lucas, just leave now before I really do kill someone." She looked up at Lucas with a daunting glance. "This is who I would kill, Jude. Not Sadie, not Kwest, not Tommy (for hurting you), not Darius, not even little Speedy. I'd kill little Lucas here. Now, get the out of Jude's apartment. The only man welcome here is Tommy, and no, he's not _my_ guest when he comes here." This time she opened the door and pushed Lucas out. He didn't protest he just looked over at Jude with pleading eyes. Loren slammed the door.

Jude started crying for the first time that week. She sat down on the couch and put her face in her hands, tasting tears for what seemed an eternity ago. Loren dropped her bag again and sighed in relief. She looked over at Jude and sat next to her. She started to rub her back soothingly. "You were going to make a mistake. You weren't thinking straight. I get it, its okay. Tommy's really screwed you up. You're just picking at the straws for a way out. Lucas isn't it, honey. He never was it. I know he's changed, but he isn't right for you. You don't need any one right now. If you want an escape it's been right in front of you all along, music. The papers are all filing through and you'll be back at G Major in no time. Write some songs. Let some of your frustration out. I see the signs. I saw your room, Jude. Tommy was here last night, wasn't he?" Jude wiped her eyes and nodded in response. Loren took a deep breath and stopped rubbing Jude's back. "I told him about your phone calls with Lucas. I picked up on the other line and heard one night. I got worried and called Tommy." She looked at Jude worriedly.

Jude jumped up and looked at Loren in disbelief. "Loren, how could you do that to me? You know I'm trying to rid myself of him! Telling him that was bound to make him come mark his territory! I'm not you, Loren! I refuse to be the other woman. I give in to temptation sometimes, but I can't do that. I can't put another woman through that. I watched my mother go through it, it isn't right. I'm not this girl that goes after other women's men. I have more morals than that. That's pretty much all I have right now. I have my morals and music. And you know what, if I want to see Lucas, I can! You had no right to kick him out like that!" Loren looked at her disbelievingly.

"I heard them, in the studio. Cayenne just wants Tommy to love her. I heard this and I didn't care. Tommy said some things and next thing you know…I was back in his web once again. I'm not going to keep going back like some lovesick puppy. I'm trying to live my life once again. I've been a little crazy lately. Going after him, but like every drug addict it was just a few relapses. I can live without him. I've done it before. I need to move on. I need to start thinking about music, like you said. And I need to try and reconcile with Sadie. Yep, I need to make up with Sadie. I need to get my life back on track. Lately, I haven't had a life, it's all been Tommy. You say you're my friend, but you've been letting me sink in this hole of hopes for Tommy. Like we could actually have a future together, I'm crazy. It all ends here today. I'm just going to have a friendship and business relationship with Tommy. He won't reject to it because I'll still be in his life. He'll still be in my life. Everyone wins in the end." Jude took a deep breath after her speech and smiled proudly at the yawning Loren.

Loren knew Jude could never stay true to her words. If it were that easy Jude would probably be engaged to Chase right now and happy. It was kind of funny, Chase was a great guy for Jude, but she didn't even notice. Loren was actually the one to tell him he had no chance. She was kind of harsh about, but in reality, she did notice. He could have been great for her, but Jude didn't notice. "I wish your little speech was true, Jude. I wish you would do all of those things you named. I wished it were that easy, but we'll see. I'm not going to argue with you. You do what you like. I have no say in the matter anymore. You're just going to do what you want anyway. I'm off to see Justin." Loren shook her head laughing and called some goodbye's over her shoulder. Jude didn't listen and barely watched her leave.

Jude laid back on the couch and closed her eyes. Her head was throbbing and she needed some real rest. Tommy didn't give that to her last night. She wasn't even sure what happened last night. In all honesty, she was drunk. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but she was drunk last night. She didn't remember drinking, but it was the only explanation. It was the reason she didn't remember much. She closed her eyes and started to drift to a peaceful sleep, when she heard banging at the door. She opened her eyes and sat up. She had no idea who would be at her apartment banging like that. For some reason she thought it was Shay. She hadn't seen him in years, but he would be the only one to bang like that. Although, he liked to put a little beat in his bang. He thought it was cute, but it was just annoying.

She looked through the peephole and all she saw was a hand. She should have been worried, but she wasn't. She had a strange feeling she could handle whoever was on the other side of the door. She opened it quickly and almost gasped in shock. Cayenne stood in front of her in tears. "Tommy was here last night, wasn't he? I know he was, so don't lie to me. What did you two do?" She pushed the door open and walked in, past Jude. Still in the doorway, Jude turned towards her in a shocked expression. She wanted to give her an explanation, but she didn't know what to say. She felt bad seeing her here now. She looked so defeated. Maybe Jude was wrong. She thought no one could ever love Tommy like she did, but Cayenne seemed to be close in the battle.

"Cayenne, what makes you think he was here?" Jude wanted to kick herself for asking her that. It was a stupid question. Obviously if he wasn't home last night that raised some red flags, that's why she was here today. The look she gave Jude made her feel miserable. What could she possibly say? She didn't know what to tell her. She didn't even remember what happened last night. "I don't know what I possibly could say. I went out last night." She wasn't lying, she did go out. Well, she went out for the beginning of the night. When she came back was her encounter with Tommy. She couldn't possibly tell Cayenne that. If Cayenne knew it would hurt her, and make it harder for Jude to reconcile with Sadie.

Cayenne started crying uncontrollably and Jude helped her to the couch. Cayenne sat down and continued wailing. She wasn't a graceful crier, she made noises and everything. Jude sat down next to her, not exactly knowing what to do. She rubbed her back a couple of times, but it felt awkward. Jude grasped the air for something to say. She came up with nothing. She was actually getting a bit concerned at how upset Cayenne was. It had to be something more than Tommy not coming home. "Cayenne, are you alright? What's all this about?" Jude tilted her head down and tried to see Cayenne's face. Her hair was covering it. She stopped whimpering and looked at Jude with her red eyes. Her mascara had run down her face. "Do you want a tissue?" Cayenne just stared at her.

"Tommy's going to leave me. I'm almost sure of it. I don't think he wants to be with me. I'm not sure he ever wanted to be with me." Cayenne let out a bitter laugh and rubbed at her eyes a bit roughly. She smacked her hands down on her thighs. "Sadie warned me. That sister of yours actually warned me. She nodded her head as if in her own disbelief. "She warned me about you." Her gaze turned cold and she looked at Jude. She wasn't surprised Sadie warned Cayenne. She was only a little surprised Sadie had warned Cayenne and then pushed her with Tommy.

Jude stood up and pointed towards the door. "I think you should go. I'm sorry about the whole Tommy thing. I don't know where he was last night." Jude's voice came out sounding business-like and she met Cayenne's gaze. She seriously didn't need this right now. She already had too many things happen today. She just wanted to be left alone to some piece and quiet.

"My brother loved you. He idolized you. He would have done anything for you. Is this what you do? Is this what you and Tommy do to get some kicks? Continually break people's hearts and laugh about it behind their backs? How could you be so cold?" Cayenne stood and lifted her arms. She got close to Jude and was pretty much in her face. "He's my husband, mine! I don't want to hear about you being around him anymore. If I do, so help me…My husband isn't the only one who puts people in the hospital!" She bumped Jude's head identically to the way Tommy bumped Shay's on Jude's 16th birthday. Cayenne quickly made her way to the door before Jude could respond. She slammed it so hard it almost fell off the hinges.

Jude rolled her eyes and rubbed her temple. She felt bad for Cayenne. No matter how much it had been sugarcoated, she was still a common homewrecker. She couldn't really run from that anymore. She always seemed quick to judge everybody else but herself. She made her way over to the couch and quickly was lying down. She closed her eyes and put an arm over them to shield herself from the light. She needed help, she knew that. She had fallen into this hole where her everything was Tommy. It was quite sickening and unhealthy. It was only getting worse since Loren practically encouraged it. Cayenne's visit allowed her to take a look outside of herself. She was pathetic. She had tried to avoid it, but she couldn't. The truth is often a scary thing to face. She could no longer hide due to fears. She knew she needed to take action.

She quickly got up and started rummaging through her apartment. She went in and out of rooms throwing everything out of the drawers, cabinets, and closets. She was finding scraps of paper she had written song lyrics on. She had given up singing with G Major a long time ago, but it didn't mean she had stopped songwriting. Music was in her and it didn't go away that easily. She never wanted it to go away. The music business can be brutal and after the whole Lucas thing…She needed a break, an escape. It was through her work that she even meant him. But, during those years she had to have written over 200 songs. She would get a lyric and throw it down on the nearest paper she could find. Now the only problem was finding all these lyrics and piecing songs together. She knew the hardest part would be finding the lyrics. She had turned her whole apartment over until it looked like she was robbed, twice. By the end of it she had tons of paper in a pile in front of her. Not just writing paper she had napkins and all sorts of odd things. Some cardboard pieces were floating around, and even lyrics written on back of a bookmark. She had spent two hours just finding everything in the pile. She sighed and got ready to dive in. She had actually begun piecing a song together pretty quickly when she heard a knock at the door. It was a soft knock compared to the banging she had received earlier.

Jude got up and made her way around the pile. She felt the need to fix her hair a bit and then made her way to the door. The knock became a little persistent and she quickly opened the door. Lucas stood in her doorway again. She felt a little suspicious and wondered if he even left the building when Loren kicked him out. She moved aside and he paced in. "Lucas, did you even leave?" He seemed a little frantic and Jude felt a little panicked. No matter how she tried to sugarcoat it, he still scared her. Lucas stopped pacing and looked at her. He suddenly walked towards her and she stepped back. He reached her and put his arms around her. He shook a little bit and she felt like he was holding back tears. She hesitantly hugged him back. "What's wrong, Lucas?" He stopped hugging her and made his way over to one of the couches. He looked at the pile to the side but ignored it. He sat down and folded his hands in front of him. He looked up at Jude.

"Do you want to be with me, Jude?" She was a little shocked by his question. She wasn't exactly sure how to answer it. Earlier she was making her crazy self want to be with him. She wasn't really sure what she wanted to be with Lucas. She honestly did care about him. Call her crazy, but she had a soft spot for messed up people. If Loren wasn't crazy, Jude might not have kept her around. Lucas took her silence as his answer. He got up and walked over to her. He put his hands on her shoulders. She stiffened and looked up at him. She didn't really know what to do. He leaned down and was about to kiss her, when she backed up. At that moment she knew she had to be honest with herself. She just couldn't be in a relationship with Lucas. She was in love with Tommy. There was no denying that, practically the whole world knew. She also couldn't be with someone who scared her. Even earlier she knew she had to force herself to be okay around him. She couldn't be with someone that made her stiffen at their touch. They could be friends and only friends.

"Lucas, I can't be with you. I'm in love with Tommy." Lucas surprisingly shook his head in an understanding manner. He walked back to the couch and took a seat. She walked closer and stood in back of the nearest couch. He looked up at her. She looked in his eyes and saw some emptiness. She felt a wave of guilt rush over her. She didn't possibly know what else she could have done. Being with him would have been unfair to him and to herself. "I'm sorry, but I'm not the girl for you. I never was." She rested her hands on the top of the couch. He looked up at her again.

"I know. You're right, Jude. You're not the girl for me. I know you're in love with Tommy. Well, I always knew." She wasn't surprised he knew. It wasn't like she didn't make it obvious to everyone. Practically all of her hit songs were about Tommy. "I don't love you either." She was a bit surprised at that revelation. Just earlier he declared his love for her boldly. He looked down at his hands. It seemed as if the next part was hard for him to say. "I followed Loren after she left. She went to go meet Justin Timberlake! Justin! I don't even know what he's doing in Canada." He looked over at Jude and she was confused as hell. She didn't know what the heck he was talking about. He had to spell it out for her. "I'm in love with Loren, Jude. I always have been. That speech earlier was for her. I'm in love with her and she hates me. She hates me with every fiber of her being. I tried to force myself to be in love with you. I mean, I always had feelings for you, but never love." Jude looked at him with shock. She had no idea. If he was in love with Loren, why did he even go out with her? She was confused, but she still understood, it all kind of made sense now. She could actually see Lucas and Loren happily together. The only problem was Loren hated him and was in love with her sister's husband.

"I'm sure if you just got her alone and tried to talk to her. You are pretty much the only guy she's ever loved." Lucas looked up at that. Only guy besides, Kwest, she thought. Lucas didn't seem to know about Kwest and she didn't really know how to tell him. She thought he would have gotten it from earlier when Loren mentioned it. But, Jude wasn't exactly sure Loren really loved him. Loren didn't love Kwest; she loved the idea of Kwest. A guy that understood her and listened to her, that was what Loren craved. Jude knew it. No matter how many times Loren said she loved him, she didn't. "I'll talk to her." It was the only thing she could think of to keep Lucas from breaking down in front of her. He really did look like he could break in any moment. She pitied him, she knew how he felt. It's a terrible thing to love someone and not have the love reciprocated. Maybe Loren would give in. Maybe, just maybe, deep down, she still loved Lucas. It was always a possibility. Loren always helped Jude; it was her turn to help her.

"Lucas, can I ask you a question?" Lucas looked up and nodded his head that it was alright. "Where are Loren's parents? Or any of her family members for that matter, only person I know from her past is you. I mean, just last month was her birthday and she didn't get a call or anything." It was a question that had been bothering her for a while. She knew Loren had a painful past and Jude never felt comfortable asking her about it. It was always hard to get an answer out of Loren. She liked to keep everything private and locked inside. Jude knew that Loren liked to act as though her life only began after Darius discovered her.

Lucas stiffened and he looked sad again. "Loren's had a really rough life. I don't blame her for not talking about it." He looked as though he were thinking about how to start. "Well, when Loren was five her dad molested her. When her mother found out she left him and left the state. She and Loren moved next to my family. I was instantly friends with Loren. From the first day I saw her in kindergarten it was weird, I just felt this connection to her. Even at that young age it was like we both understood each other." Jude walked over and sat down on the couch across from him. "I could always talk to her about watching my dad hurt my mother. The best times were when he was away doing movies… As we got older we both started going through things. I mean, Loren's mom started to blame her for the fact she was alone. She made Loren feel like crap every day. Like it was her fault her dad molested her. That really messed Loren up." Lucas sighed and shook his head. "She used to sneak in my room when it would get really bad and cry about it." Jude felt sick at the thought of what Loren's father did to her.

"When I got older, so did my dad. He started getting less movie roles, which meant he was home more. Since I was older he stopped beating on my mom and started beating on me. No matter how much Loren was hurting, she stayed strong to comfort me. The problem was my dad was also emotionally abusing me. I started to push her away. During that time period she became pretty reckless. She started having sex with random guys. Basically any guy she could find. She started doing drugs and just stopped coming to school. She was fifteen during all that. Um, somewhere during that time her mother met this guy and a month later they got married. My family got invited to the wedding and it was the first time I had seen Loren in a long time. Seeing her there was when I knew I needed her, I was in love with her. I tried talking to her after the ceremony, but she was having this huge fight with her new step-sister. Her step-sister was thirteen, that's how old you were at the time. She looked a lot like you, her name was Alex." He peered at Jude as if trying to remember Alex in her. "Yeah, you two could be twins. The only difference was she was blonde. From day one Loren hated Alex. To be honest, she was downright jealous of her. Alex had everything she wanted, a father who loved her, amazing friends, and an amazing voice. Loren's mother even started to treat Alex like her daughter. She acted as if Loren was just the hired help. Loren resented Alex for that. Anyway, after the wedding we got reconnected. We eventually started dating and she would always vent to me how much she hated Alex." Lucas sighed as if her were still disappointed in Loren.

"Loren made Alex's life a living hell. We broke up for a while because of it. She stole Alex's boyfriend, and in the process cheated on me. She was so consumed in hate that I couldn't be with her. I had enough hate at home with my father. She just continued taunting her and stealing any potential boyfriends she would have. Alex tried to fight her off, but she was younger. She couldn't do much." Lucas looked sad again and looked down. "One day Alex had come home to find out Loren had taken it too far. Alex found Loren in bed with Alex's father, Loren's step-dad. She couldn't take finding her perfect father in bed with Loren. She grabbed her father's car keys and took off. Loren was seventeen and Alex was only fifteen. Alex didn't know how to drive yet. She got in a horrible accident." Lucas looked up at Jude. She couldn't believe everything she was hearing. She was shocked that Loren could be so cruel. Jude knew she had been mean once, when she stole Speed. But, Jude thought it was only a stupid phase. "She died, Jude. Alex was the only person that died in the multiple car accident." Jude took in a sharp intake of breath, it was almost as if Loren had killed someone, she practically did. "It actually messed Loren up pretty bad. She felt responsible and her step-dad held her responsible. He left Loren's mother and once again she had Loren to blame for being alone."

"I was there for her. I was there waiting. I knew she would get over it eventually. She was a nasty person, but I knew the good side to her. I helped her through it and we were on strong once again. I had begun doing some movie roles and she was supportive the whole time. Once I had become pretty successful, I realized how dirty the business was. I talked to Loren as much as possible, she kept me sane. When she was nineteen, I decided to take a little break from it all. I came home and spent some time with my family. My father started his emotional abuse up on full speed. He was jealous I was acting and he wasn't. I vented to Loren about it. She had moved out of her mother's house a year ago when her mother remarried. Loren got a new step-sister, named Karma. She was a bitch and Loren couldn't deal with that again. She was happy after moving out. She was there for me. I proposed to her and I was happy." He sighed heavily again.

"The problem was during that break, I was only happy with her. My father made my life a living hell. Loren, being the beautiful person that she is, decided to confront him about it, and she did." He looked up at Jude with a broken expression. Jude knew what happened next, Lucas' father raped Loren and Lucas walked in. "I was an idiot; I thought she was cheating on me and ignored her for a week. During that week, my father put all these horrible thoughts in my mind. He always was an amazing manipulator. Loren kept calling me so I finally agreed to meet her. When I did, I was horrible." Jude could tell it was eating him up inside. "It was the first time I ever hit a girl. Once I started I couldn't stop. My father's words were ringing in my ears. He made it sound as if Loren had thrown herself at him, and I couldn't help but think back to Alex's dad. I had believed it and made a grave mistake." He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

"After being away from her, I realized the mistake that I made. I wanted her back. I was practically stalking her." Jude had heard Loren's side of this story; it was enlightening to hear Lucas'. "I had a problem, but I didn't know it then. After hitting her the first time, I was pretty much an abuser then. You know, you hit the girl and then try everything to win them back. During my treatment I realized how much I fit the profile." Jude knew the profile too well. Lucas was that way when they were together. "Naturally, Loren wanted nothing to do with me. I had hurt her too much, understandably. She threatened to get a restraining order. My father introduced her to Darius so she would leave that alone. My father knew she always wanted to be a singer. I didn't listen though, I just wanted her back. She then threatened to come out about the rape. That was when my father got Darius to sign Loren, and it's all pretty much history then. You know the rest." Jude's head was reeling she couldn't believe everything she had learned.

Loren had quite the past and now it made sense why she didn't talk about it. Jude wondered if that's why Loren was so cruel to her at first. If the fact that Jude looked like Alex was what made Loren go after Speed. Lucas looked over at Jude. "Loren slept with Tommy, by the way." Jude's eyes opened wide and she looked at Lucas in horror. "Not now, back when she was fifteen, during her slut phase. I thought you might want to know that." She forgot everything else he had told her and thought about that. Why hadn't Loren told her? Why hadn't Tommy told her? She felt a strong urge of betrayal, as if Tommy had cheated on her with her bestfriend. Tommy really had been with everyone in Canada. She remembered Loren saying once Tommy had been with everyone but her. Why had she lied? Lucas interrupted her thoughts to speak. "Well, I have to go. I'll call you later if you still want to talk." Jude waved him off and he let himself out.

She had learned so much. It was giving her a headache. She was supposed to see Georgia later to finalize the papers and have dinner with her dad. She would officially be re-signed to G Major in a couple of hours. With the headache she had, she knew she had to take a nap before going. She made her way to her room and crashed down on the bed. She fell asleep and woke up an hour later. The sound of someone fumbling with keys, all the way outside of the apartment woke her up; Loren always had trouble with the lock. Loren came running into the apartment screaming and Jude quickly sat up. Loren crashed into the room and beamed a huge smile at Jude.

"Justin Timberlake totally loves me! The blonde hair worked! He has such a blonde fetish!" Loren flipped her hair and continued smiling. Jude looked at her in confusion and fell back on the bed. She grabbed her pillow and covered her face. "Loren Timberlake! It's perfect!" Jude let out a groan.

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****Lol, I love Loren. I like this chapter. Sorry about how dramatic I was in my last author's notes, lol. I so regretted posting that after I did it. Anyway, I'm in a pretty chipper mood, even though school is right around the corner. The reason I'm so happy is because...the beautiful Cayenne is home from France. I seriously felt like popping a bottle of champagne! Let's all party! Um, you know what would make me party harder…A…REVIEW! Yeah, I'd really appreciate that. I'm not getting many, not that I didn't expect that. I take a while to update, so not many people review. But, I know some people have put this story on their alerts and favorites. That makes me pretty happy, that people are reading. Know what makes me happier? Readers that REVIEW:-D **

**- Ruby **

**Cayenne will forever be rubious. ;-) **


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